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I hope everyone had a nice Xmas and 2025 brings you prosperity, and of course for the boys here, red stinging bottoms (except me) and for the dads, and tops red-hot hands!
I want to explain what is going to happen this year with the site and why, and don’t worry guys it’s all good!
The script we use yet again came under financial burden with the script owners now demanding more license fees to upgrade to their latest version. I have declined to pay these fees.
The reason is, we are essentially being held hostage, if we pay the fees and upgrade, we would be locked into their script and only the apps they provide. They have completely alienated third party developers and made it to the point its an ever-increasing high fee-based model with them being the sole provider of very high-cost apps. This is not sustainable for us.
We will instead be moving to Social Engine without fail. Social engine has a huge third-party development community, the script is faster and there is just so much more available for us. We already own one license but will need to upgrade it, and I am okay with that.
I want to emphasize all your content will remain, your photos, feed, videos, blogs, messages and friends etc. It will all be migrated. The only thing we may lose in the short term are polls.
The same desktop experience will remain (only quicker and better), however for those using mobile devices, you will find the site completely improved, better quality and faster actions.
At present we have $320 in the kitty, that is cash left from last year that I will be using for the purpose of upgrading and purchasing some of the apps we will require.
I do not like running fundraisers or as I like to call them ‘begging bowl’ but needs must and I will be doing so shortly. Whenever we meet our fundraising goals, I immediately take down the donation banner and you will have noted I did that around September last year.
We are stuck with PayPal at present for donations, but I am exploring other options and will update you accordingly.
I want this to really work, I want us to have an amazing community with all we deserve.
If you have knowledge of Social Engine and are willing to help, please reach out to me. We do have some IT guys here on the site and I will also be respectfully asking for their help as well.
I shall keep you updated with progress together with a timeline.
Hugs
James
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Hello everybody, I hope you are all well during this crazy time that is upon us all. Not only are we dealing with this pandemic, but we have a presidential election and of course we are coming up on holiday season.
I have a lot to tell you, and I am pretty excited about it. Now before I get into it all, I do have to talk about the subject I dread the most, site funding. Its always a source of embarrassment for me personally, and its something I would much rather avoid. That said, I have learned the hard way, the longer I put it off, the worse the situation becomes.
Previously I have simply pulled out the begging bowl and I do not want to do that anymore, so I am going to try something different. I have created a new membership group called “Community Supporter”. Everyone can choose to upgrade to this group by making a one-time payment of a minimum of $25, and that will last for as long as the site does. You will get a small icon on your profile page together with the text ‘Community Supporter’, this is done automatically.
Somethings I want to point out:
You can upgrade by clicking on the upgrade button on the menu bar.
When you upgrade, the charge will show as Arizoy LLC – the site will not be mentioned on your statement. This is of course to protect your privacy.
I am working on different payment gateways but for now Pay-Pal is the only option. You do not need a Pay-Pal account though and can simply checkout as guest.
If you have made a donation ever to the site of $25 or more, you will be upgraded. I will do this manually, but it will take a bit of time. Once I have finished, I will post as such and anyone I missed can then get in touch with me and I will fix it for them.
You can choose the minimum of $25, or more, but there is no difference or additional benefits, if you choose to go higher. I am keeping it simple. When you think about $25 for life is pretty good value, when some sites charge around that or higher for just one month.
It is a onetime payment, there is no reoccurring charge and the options will no longer appear under the upgrade button.
I am hoping, this will allow the site to become self-sufficient, as we would only need a percentage of future members to upgrade their memberships in order to do so. If we need to encourage further, we do have options such as restricting the videos, either by number or minutes to non-supporting members. This would really be a last resort though, as I seriously want to keep the site free for everybody.
With Black Friday and Cyber Monday, coming in the next few months, I would love to see enough upgrades so we can take advantage of the deals, possibly even snagging a server for a year, that would be awesome!
Okay, I am so glad that’s over with …. now onto the good stuff! (dang I sounded boring in all of that)!
Right you are, we are going for a major upgrade, which is currently in the testing phase on our backup server. I will be inviting some of you to trial it for me and help identify any bugs etc. I am funding the upgrade out of my own pocket, but this will be the last time I can do so. This is by order of hubby whom wields the hairbrush.
So here are some highlights:
Its going to be faster.
It will have a progressive web app, for those using tablets, cell phones etc.
Again, with those using mobile devices, you will be able to download a generic app for both Android and Apple, though the respective stores.
We will be using HTML 5 for videos.
Chat system will be new and improved.
Groups are getting a huge overall.
You will be able to have password resets by email, but this will be constrained to only password resets.
Photos and Albums are being revamped and will be much easier to navigate.
You will have a favorite system, where you can mark any items you choose as a ‘favorite’ and then access the all from a new tab page.
A few other surprises
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Another in our Learning by Doing Series
Tips for (New) Tops!*
Another in our "Learning by Doing" Series
by BigDaddyVegas and RedSpkScott
Tip #1
Follow Your Commitment
Make Sure You're Compatible Before You Meet
If you take the time to talk with somebody and establish a wonderful scene you're going to commit to. If you are hosting, have your place ready to go, when your spankee arrives. spankees, when you come for a Spanking, arrive on time. Do not be super late.
spankees, do your best to not let fear slow you down and prevent you from getting the Spankings that you need.
Tip #2
Make Sure You're Compatible.
Weed out the flakes—a lot of guys only reach out when they're horny—weed out the flakes.
Tip #3
Arrive Prepared With Your Bag of Your Spanking Implements
You wouldn't show up to a construction site without a toolbox. Baseball types of bags work well, because you can put canes and longer thinner items in there. They're easy and mobile.
Tip #4
Test Your Spanking Implements Before You Use Them
It's important Tops have a feel for how bad or what a Spanking Tool feels like. Some Spanking Tools can leave you black and blue if you are not paying attention. Learn that first. So, know how to use your implements before you apply them across the seat of a guy you are Spanking.
Tip #5
Build and Use Your Spanking Implement Repertoire
Practice With The Belt
Before You Use The Belt
Straps you can usually tell by the weight and the length. Belts and straps can wrap around the hip and ruin a scene. Practice for accuracy. I'm still not perfect, and I use them all the time. First, buy yourself a high quality belt and practice with it. Do not think you can pull a guy's pants down and think you'll be good with a belt right away. It's not going to happen. It's not the way Daddy did it when you were 12 years old and stole a bicycle. Know how to use The Belt before you use it.
Paddles can vary greatly. Thicker versus thinner paddles will matter depending on who you are Spanking. For example, a small, thick paddle can be far too much for a new guy.
I recommend using the Jokari paddle in your paddle kit, and now you at least have the Spanking Industry Standard. And folks will know the sound of the Jokari paddle. It's versatile, you can go light with it, and you can break in a new bottom. Or you can really go to town on an experienced guy, but you have just the one paddle.
Tip #6
Identify Spankings Locations
You don't have to meet at your home. Meet at a public area first—a pub, a Starbucks, etc. It's a good safety precaution.
If you don't have a home to go to, try the public Spanking parties or a hotel room.
Don't Inadvertently Get SWATted.
If you are using paddles in a hotel room, be aware of the noise. If you use a Jokari paddle at full force, it can sound like a .22 gun going off, so be careful, so Aunt Mary next door doesn't call the police saying, "I think I heard shots fired." Avoid being SWATted by an actual SWAT team!
Tip #7
Manage Noise
I have a bottom who I have bringing a switch. Those are pretty quiet.
Small carpet beaters are really good, because they also do not make a lot of noise. Paddles and bathbrushes will work over jeans, but not bare. You can always turn on the TV, the radio, or turn on the water in the bathroom. If you have to Spank in a hotel room, between 2 to 4 p.m., the hotel is least occupied, so it's primetime to get a Spanking.
If you talk to the guys at the registration desk at the hotel, tell them you'll be having a party in your room, and tell them if they could put you away from other guests, that'd be great.
Tell them up front.
Tip #8
Develop Good Communication
Communicate Well, Then Spank.
When you communicate and you are both in sync, then you will always have a better time. So, if you are both into Teacher/student scene, then it'll be great. But if the Top is really into Daddy/son or no roleplaying at all, then it really doesn't work well.
Tops need to know, assume that just because you're the Top, your fantasy will be sufficient for the bottom. That's not the case. If you accommodate the bottom, the more in sync the bottom is with you, the more the bottom will relinquish control and be able to play more the way the Top wants to.
Do not get super intense—including grabbing, choking, faceslapping, or other "liberties"—without clear, usually verbal permission from the bottom.
[Not doing so] can result in a complete scene killer.
Tip #9
Ensure a Great Warm-up
Great Spankers will Spank less to begin with, so you can get your boy to have the endorphin rush. That will help extend the scene much longer. Prepare the bottom first. I may use a belt over his jeans first, to warm him up to get the anticipation flowing of what he thinks he'll get.
Once you get to know a guy and establish trust, these Rules obviously develop as you progress and familiarize with one another.
Tip #10
Use Humiliation Effectively
Humiliation Can Work
Find Out How!
I really encourage humliating guys in public. One way to do this is to use effective Cornertime technique. You can take a bottle cap, credit card, and have your bottom put the object against a wall or The Corner and then put their head [nose] against it [to keep it off the ground and against the wall]. Talk to them as sternly as you want to. You do not have to touch the boy just be complete in his presence. They know you are there.
If you want to engage them, Spank them with your hand. That is never the wrong move.
Make the boy keep the bottle cap or credit card against the wall or The Corner with his head/nose—you can even have them put their hands on their head while you stand there. Spank your boy, if he loses his focus or attention with your hand. That'll snap him back into your reality, and you can keep the scene completely in motion even though the Spanking isn't going on in that moment.
* Compiled from the December 2017 "DudesSpankingDudes" podcast. "Big Daddy Vegas and Red Spank Scott provided a bunch of "Tips for Tops" about the kinds of things tops, especially less experienced Tops, should plan for when playing with a new dude."
Please comment below or email us with your ideas
aok4otk@aol.com or cornertimeconf@gmail.com
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Unfortunately, there are far more websites and apps for meeting spankos than there are actual places. While “face-to-face” means you don't have to introduce yourself without knowing who you're talking to, and you can simply get to know them, “remote” displays are far more sophisticated and tricky. In the end, it's all very complicated, and it's always a good idea to adapt your presentation to the website in question and the people you want to get in touch with. I find this fastidious and often discouraging, not to mention time-consuming, and it can sometimes leave you feeling a little bitter. So it's best to give a little thought to what needs to be said. You have to present yourself while protecting yourself, attract without lying, reveal without betraying, show without betraying, establish your reputation and finally turn your experiences into advantages. To learn the art of virtual conversion, you also need to think about how to make contact and how to end it.
Introduce yourself while protecting yourself, attract without lying
A profile is often the first contact with a potential partner. It may even be the only one. So long as it's complete and attractive, authentic and honest. Some may see it, based on market research, as an effective and exclusive competitive tool, and potentially as a chance for monopoly or near monopoly, while others may be less utilitarian and ambitious, and want it as a visiting card designed solely for making contacts or new acquaintances. The key element of a profile remains the description, which generally takes up just a few lines, depending on the website, and is the first place to introduce yourself and at the very least attract attention. This description, however succinct and artificial in a way, must be neither empty nor off-putting. It should be immediately identifiable and eye-catching.
If not already displayed in other profile fields, the minimum information required for a description is :
- Place of residence and ability to receive guests or travel;
- Age, physical description (height, weight, body type), experience;
- Languages understood, written and spoken;
- A description of what you like and what you're looking for;
- Target audience: age range, body type, spanking type, possibly sexuality;
- Its strict limits: for example, no scenarios, no blood, no traces, no sex, etc.
In this description, there are also pitfalls to avoid:
- Obviously, having an empty or all-purpose description; In general, this doesn't attract and blends in with the mass of profiles;
- Focusing on what you want to do with a potential partner, without really saying anything about yourself or the people you want to meet; A general, fantastical description immediately attracts the wankers and trolls of the Net whom you'll never meet;
- Be too technical, literary or cerebral; It's better to remain understandable to all at first; It's only after the first contact that the exchange can be elevated according to the person you're talking to, unless you want to meet only one type of partner; At the outset, it's best to remain open and accessible to all;
- Take over all or part of the description of another spanko, especially if he or she is recognized on the website in question, or even on most specialized sites; Inspiration is not forbidden when you lack it, but you still need to know how to adapt it and come back to yourself.
With practice, you'll soon realize what's going wrong, and it's not forbidden to modify your description and adapt it according to feedback, or even the absence of feedback, which is more worrying and should lead to a complete revision of your profile.
Reveal yourself without betraying yourself, show without betraying
Putting photos on your profile is a good way of showing what you like and what you do. Sometimes it's a single profile photo, sometimes one or more albums. Choosing your photo or pics therefore deserves special attention. Face, hand, lower body, place, implement, one of your spankings, a drawing or a pic of a spanking you like found on the net, but in this case it's better to use studio photos, so there's no ambiguity or source of misunderstanding.
If albums can be used, they should be composed with discretion. They should tell you more about what you do and what you like than a description, because images speak louder than words, even if the photos used are borrowed from the Internet. Naturally, the albums will be composed by theme, representing a practice, an implement, a position, etc., representative of what you do or what you like. You have to be imaginative and take care to show a fantasy world in which someone can recognize themselves and want to be part of it, but it also has to be personal, as close as possible to the truth of what you do or can do. Then you need to find the right captions. If you use pictures from studios or other spankos, you need to credit them or put them in an album whose title indicates that the picture come from the net. Whatever you think, you should never use photos from other fans without crediting them, let alone claiming them as your own. Not only is this discourteous and dishonest, but it also quickly undermines your credibility. The wording of captions must also be carefully considered. If the comment is silly or degrading, there's little chance that the pic, even if exceptional, can make up for the disastrous effect, which will also reflect on the entire profile. It's best to remain neutral when posting photos and captions. They should be informative rather than disruptive, attractive rather than repellent.
Laying the foundations of a virtual reputation
With the exception of deliberate and malicious denigration, which is so difficult to combat in the virtual world of rumors and possible neuroses, exchanges are quite desirable to transform a totally virtual profile into reality, to give it existence and depth. Reading what people write, replying to it and asking questions - even about members of this “community” - shouldn't be controversial. It's normal to inform ourselves and others. It's only right to do so honestly and fairly, and always to be cautious about the information you gather in this way. Testimony is only testimony at best, especially when you don't know the witness. A negative statement may be nothing more than a rumor, pure malice or even revenge. You can only share what you have experienced or seen yourself. On the other hand, you must be careful not to spread mere rumours or unverifiable and often malicious hearsay. Moreover, it is generally advisable to be wary of excessive or derogatory remarks reported by someone who has not experienced what he is talking about.
As I've said elsewhere, it's undoubtedly important to ensure that your encounters are safe, sane and consensual. So you need to be careful when looking for a profile that matches your needs. First and foremost, you have to respect your own limits, and those of the people you're meeting. Anyone who thinks they can do what they want and only what they want, especially if they're a spanker, is a bad partner and can only create a very bad reputation for himself in the long run. You really must set strict limits, and stick to them as long as the agreement is not revised. A partner who claims to have no limits, or is unwilling to accept any, is the harbinger of certain disaster. It's best to avoid meeting such a partner, either as a spanker or as a spankee. The framework must always be precisely defined in advance, including any possible changes during the session.
Among the important limits that shape a profile and its virtual reputation are those relating first and foremost to sex. This question is the most important before any meeting, as it can determine a real boundary between spankos for a variety of reasons. And surprise sex is never desirable, and can lead to a lot of disappointment and unnecessary problems. When it comes to sex, nudity and physical contact are essential. Some people are very rigid about this. There are parts of the body that can be touched and others that cannot, parts that can be undressed and others that cannot. It seems to me that it's always the spankee who decides on these two aspects, as well as on the sexual question, but in the latter, unlike the first two, the spankee proposes and the spanker agrees or not. Then there's often the question of marks and bruises. Then there's the question of the marital status of your partner, who may legitimately want to preserve his marital life, while his usual partner may be unaware of his “extra-marital” practices. The real difficulty is that a spankee doesn't always know how his skin reacts, especially if it's the first time or if he doesn't practice much. Everyone's skin reacts differently. Some mark at the slightest blow, no matter how insignificant, while others don't mark at all, even if the blows are extremely severe. If the spankee doesn't know how his skin reacts, he should say so, and then it's up to the spanker to know how to handle his implements, and to stop before crossing the set limit. Sometimes, however, the marks don't appear until several hours after the end of the session. In such cases, it's best to remain cautious and never spank beyond the area covered by the underwear normally worn by the spankee. This will make it easier to hide any marks for a few days. Then there's the question of pain. Some people want it, others don't. If a spanker wants to hurt and the spankee prefers other elements of spanking to pain, it's best to pass. In any case, you mustn't exceed the spankee's pain limit, especially if you're not a caretaker. In my opinion, a spanker should always carry a lightening cream for bruises or a moisturizing cream, and even an arnica-based cream for pain. The spankee can always bring his own cream if there's one that works for him. There are never too many limits. There are only the limits required by the spankee and the spanker. If you find that there are too many limits, or that the limits of the spankee and the spanker are incompatible, don't insist. The result would be failure and even embarrassment. You can always ask for certain limits to be gradually pushed back, but only if you're in a second or third meeting, and after clearly discussing them.
You have to be aware of the limits of those with whom you exchange virtually, as well as those you actually meet, but you also have to be aware of your own limits. The scarcity of opportunities to meet people shouldn't lead you to accept just any encounter. It's hard to force yourself to do so sometimes. Especially when the other partner seems so cute, so experienced, so attractive, etc., to refuse to see him, even if what he's asking for is far removed from your own interests, but if he really isn't what you're looking for, you have to learn to refuse. If, in spite of everything, you decide to meet someone who isn't quite what you're looking for, or even if you've met someone who was exactly what you were looking for but something didn't work out during the session, it's all right to call it a day. It's better to stay on good terms and show that no matter what happens, respecting the limits of your spanking is the most important thing, and the only thing that will count afterwards for your virtual reputation. The same goes for a spankee who has made a lot of claims before meeting someone, then in the course of the session has multiplied the limits that had never been expressed despite several requests, has modified his desires and demands at the last moment, he can only exasperate the spanker and convince him never to see him again. It's also important to know how to say no if you're particularly solicited. There are spankers who receive many requests and spankees who attract all the spankers in the neighborhood, the city, the region, the country and even the continent. Whatever happens, it's important to discuss whether the meeting is possible, and if not, to say no. I wouldn't go so far as to say that you should follow your instincts, because instincts mean nothing and are often the reflection of an illusion or neurose. No, you have to remain rational and know how to deduce from what you read and see whether the meeting is possible, and it's always yes or no. “Maybe” really means no! Secondly, the outcome of the meeting can only depend on the meeting itself and nothing else.
In the virtual world, your reputation and the good image you project on your profile make it easier for people to meet you, especially those who wouldn't have wanted to meet you without some feedback from partners who were satisfied with their session. The ones we've actually met are our only real promoters! We can use the functions on some sites to indicate who can vouch for your services. This means checking out who you've met and asking them to do the same. It's better to ask before checking, though. Some people prefer not to leave a trace. It's strange, but that's the way it is. It's true that they may want to escape stalkers and jealousy. Unfortunately, there are some. But we mustn't hesitate to ask our regulars if they agree to be our references for those who are reluctant to meet us. We should also ask their permission to post their photos or videos on our profile if we've taken pictures! The photos of our parties are our signatures and our best visiting cards. They should be carefully selected from those accepted by your partner, and never be given a disastrous caption. The virtual world is as fickle as it is irrational. Let's be true to our conscience and to our partners. Let's respect them and make sure we're respected. Let's post beautiful images that have been selected, sorted and accepted. Let's delete them if the interested party requests it. Nor should we abuse capricious, inconsiderate or manipulative requests. In return, we must be wary of virtual reputations based on rumors or excessive comments made by envious or bitter people, because this unfortunately also exists, alas. Let's stay on good terms with the spankos in our area, or at the very least let's not participate in the damaging game of rumors, because the guys in our geographical area are an excellent source of information about who's a pervert, a banned word, a wanker or on the contrary an excellent or good partner, who respects everyone's desires and only cares about himself. However, whatever happens, you must avoid slandering or speaking ill of another spanko for any reason whatsoever. You must remain neutral and objective, and speak only of what you know and have personally experienced. I've been subjected to the baseness of a bitter and jealous young man for the wrong reasons and in a totally irrational way. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. From now on, I'll only say what I've experienced unreservedly about him, but I'll leave it up to those who read me to make up their own minds in the end. Rumors are hard to fight and unnecessarily destructive. In the end, it's the whole “community” that suffers.
In the end, you have to turn your experiences into assets
Once you've had a few experiences and, by chance, established a more regular relationship with one or more partners, you need to take advantage of these opportunities to improve your skills, both technically and psychologically. With time and an ongoing relationship, you develop a certain trust with your partner. You can confide in them more easily, deepen your fantasies, progress in your practice, rectify mistakes from past sessions... You need to talk sincerely, about everything, your life, your history and spanking. When you have this kind of fantasy, it doesn't come from nowhere and it doesn't fit into anything. It responds to a need that must be understood, respected and fulfilled. Under no circumstances is spanking simply an activity in which a spanker takes pleasure in using a spankee as a tambourine or punching bag, unless he is completely stupid or a bastard. Unfortunately, such individuals do exist, particularly among novices who stop at the mere appearance of the blows given and a fantasy of humiliation and domination at a good price. In reality, these individuals will never make good spankos. The inescapable rule is that the needs of the one being spanked always come first, even if the needs of the one giving the spanking must not be counted for nothing. That's why verbal exchange during and after spanking is so important. We shouldn't hesitate to enter into a relationship with a partner we like, who seems perfectly suited to what we're looking for and to whom we can give what they want. This requires discussion. You don't kick a partner out of your home two minutes after you've finished exercising, or walk away two minutes later. If you do, there's a good chance that the session didn't live up to everyone's expectations, or at least one of them. You have to learn to talk, to calm down and to take care of each other after the spanking, to return to the ordinary world in a way. You also need to know how to keep in touch in the hours that follow - and even in the days that follow for the less experienced - to find out if all is well, both psychologically and physically.
Contacting and ending a discussion, a difficult art to acquire
This is a recurring question when you find a profile that interests you. We're not necessarily sure of ourselves, nor ready to face failure, let alone silence or immediate blocking without explanation. Silence and blocking are the solutions found by louts who have never learned to dialogue or simply to say no in a proper and courteous manner. This is often a generational fault, but it's not the only one. In any case, sending a message to a Spanko who seems interesting costs nothing, and neither does replying, even if it's negative. There's no need to get formal or indignant about it. Only unexplained silences and blockages should be condemned. As a general rule, simply read the profile, and if it appears that an approach is possible, send a simple, polite message. You can always send a message extending the description of your profile, with the necessary adaptation to the profile you've just read. If you really want to, you can already add a potential availability and a more precise location than in your profile. This message might as well be clear, basic and decent. It's simply an introduction, which will either lead to a polite refusal, normally if you're dealing with a well-educated person, or to acceptance of contact, in which case all you need to do is enter into more in-depth discussions about what's expected and the practicalities of an eventual meeting.
You can always wait to receive messages. If you're new or just starting out, or if you don't have a reputation that attracts curiosity, you're unlikely to be contacted spontaneously. On the other hand, when you're starting to become well established and are known to a number of Spankos, have an extensive profile or enjoy a good reputation, then yes, you can expect to receive messages, and not necessarily from those you're most spontaneously interested in. It doesn't matter, though, except for those who insist despite repeated refusals: if you're not interested, just say no and leave it at that. Otherwise, you need to get into the discussion to find out whether or not a meeting is possible. Experience has taught me that when the discussion is too short, the meeting can't be a good one. On the contrary, when the discussion drags on, the meeting will never take place. Let's face it.
Finally, among the shortcomings of the modern age is the apparently common practice, particularly among the younger generations, of never replying, as if silence were equivalent to an answer, or even, as in the case of the administration, to a refusal. Worse still, there's the habit of blocking even when there's no obvious reason to do so. Apart from the rules of politeness, which have not been learned by the interested party, the reasons may be diverse. Silence may be due to an avalanche of messages and the impossibility of replying immediately, because you're not alone, because you don't have time to engage in a conversation, because you don't yet know what to answer, or whatever. In this case, just try again a little later, or even a few days or weeks later. It could also be a phony profile, or that of a fantasist who has no real intention of meeting anyone and would just like to have a look around. It may even be a guy who hasn't really been honest on his profile and has frankly lied about his age, physical condition or desires, and who knows full well that he can't answer us and will never be able to meet us, or that the meeting will be a disaster. In these three cases, we have nothing to regret. Then there are those who engage in a serious discussion that may have taken us some time, and then either don't reply or block. In this case, we can be sure that we've been dealing with a wanker and that by the end of the exchange, he's reached the desired result and gone to wipe his hands. Maybe one day, he'll want to move on to a real exercise and taste another, more intense pleasure. You have to wait. Always know how to wait.
Then there's the question of shooting. I've already talked about this, but I think it's important to bear in mind the rules that apply, apart from simple courtesy and politeness, so that this issue doesn't become a means of pressure or manipulation for either the spanker or the spankee, and even less so for third parties. This will be the subject of the next blog.
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We here at Cornertime Confidential love the way the author of The Dirty Daddy blog emphasizes that being in a healthy Daddy/boy relationship reach for concrete milestones, whether you are the boy, or you are the Daddy!
Respect, Honor, Submission, Companionship, Passion, Affection, Caring, Love, Commitment
From the Cornertime Confidential perspective, milestones like these make men behave better and long term relationships benefit greatly not by guilt and emotional threats but by obedience to Rules that the men involved adhere to. Because of our firm believe in these basic DD principles, we're thrilled to share this snippet from The Dirty Daddy Blog.
Cornertime Confidential loves many of the ideas expressed on The Dirty Daddy Blog more generally. For example, earlier this year, we adapted two of his posts to better explain his viewpoint as a Daddy on both oral and anal that some Daddy/boy relationships may require. And we wanted to give another shout out on both of those posts. He's full of interesting information about how to both effectively both be:
a Good boy's Daddy, and
a Good Daddy's boy.
Let us know your feedback. We'll be curious to find out if this is information that you feel is inappropriate for the blog, just right, or not enough. Use the comment feature at the bottom of this post!
The 9 Milestones below can help any boy be a better boy to your Daddy and to be the best Daddy you can be to your boy. Additionally, these Rules will help to improve the quality and length of your relationship. We'll let The Dirty Daddy explain in greater detail.
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Rules: Lessons From The DirtyDaddy blog
Another in our "Learning by Doing" Series
by The Dirty Daddy
These Rules are in no particular order. And these Rules are expected to be followed by a Good boy, if a Daddy follows them from the start.
Respect
You have the right to your feelings, to be sad or angry when those moments come, but at no time should 'angry words' that degrade, abuse or diminish the value of your Daddy be used. Physical violence in any form is absolutely forbidden, Daddy would never strike you no matter how angry he may get, so you should never ever let your anger dominate you instead of your love for Daddy.
You respect who Daddy is as a person, then your partner, THEN as Daddy. Words like "Sissy," "Faggot," and "banned word" are used to degrade and punish, and should not be used about your self or your Daddy. The shortest road to being a "Bad Boy" is to degrade/disrespect yourself. Do not wallow in self pity, negative thoughts about yourself, or allow your self-esteem to stop Daddy from loving you the way he wants to, and you need him to. Blame, when properly placed is fine, but do not constantly apologize for everything like you expect to be beaten if you don't.
Honor
Honor may sound similar to respect at first glance but it goes further and touches upon very special things. Honor is more about thoughts, feelings, wishes and desires both in public and private. In public, Daddy would not force you to display affection you might be uncomfortable with, and if you tell him so, he will honor that wish, just as you should honor his boundaries in public and private.
Respect can be seen as understanding, where Honoring is obeying the limits that Respect creates. By honoring and respecting your Daddy, just as he does you, you two mutually create the shape and scope of your relationship in and outside of the bedroom.
Submission
This is NOT how it sounds at first. A Good boy does submit but not in the 'usual' way. A Good boy does not throw away his wants, needs, desires, free will, or person-hood in favor of Daddy's will. Quite the opposite. Those things are what made Daddy want you to be his son, why would he throw those away? Daddy gives you permission (when you ask for it) to explore your desires, dreams and fantasies together with his guidance and help to realize them.
The only explicit domination Daddy exerts is his desire to have you 'ask' for permission, even if you know it will be granted, purely as a formality. The greatest gift is a boy's submission to the pleasure Daddy wishes to give him, and to his own desires to please Daddy. If we respect the roles we have accepted, and honor the limits we set for each other, and submit to mutually created lives, we become truer to ourselves and our innermost needs.
Companionship
A Good boy is a natural companion to his Daddy: able to be by his side at any event, on any outing, or just together for no reason other than to be close. Be comfortable accompanying Daddy anytime he wishes. Listen to his stories, as he listens to yours. Ask about his day, fill the empty places that a partner would fill, but go further and fill that space set aside for his Good boy and companion.
It is the place he wishes you to be in, and one you belong in. Take the time to be supportive of his efforts, respect his need to work and his space (if any is needed or required). Always be the Good boy, there to accept his attention, affection, and the time he wishes to spend with you.
[a note from Cornertime Confidential: set your boy's expectations. We have a friend who went into his DD relationship with one set of expectations, but because his Daddy didn't set the expectations clearly at the beginning, they've struggled to find the right mix between companionship and being a boy who is disciplined by Daddy. Be sure to set out parameters as the Daddy, so your boy can be Good, as well as be your boy.]
Passion
Daddy has already given you permission to be the passionate, sexual creature you are meant to be. Do not restrain or deny this side of yourself, unless it violates other Rules listed here or created between you and your Daddy. You would not want him to be cool all the time in bed, or in foreplay for him to be unresponsive, so do not be that way to him.
Affection
Express your affection in every way possible. This shows your appreciation for all that Daddy is and does for you and with you. Kiss your Daddy as often as he and you are comfortable. This is your chance to demonstrate you appreciate him, find creative ways to do so beyond sex. Sex is only one way to appreciate you Daddy.
Hold hands, cuddle with him in bed, snuggle on the couch watching movies together, sit next to him at mealtime, smile as often as you can at him. Express your love without words as often as possible. Use the language of love even more so.
Caring
When your Daddy is having a 'bad day', is feeling sad, or is upset, or even angry at something, do your best to be supportive of him without being oppressive or denying him the right to have his feelings. He would not want you to be sad for long, but understands the need for such feelings and does his best to make you feel better. As you should for him as often as you can. It is part of being a loving, Good boy to care for your Daddy's well being, happiness and comfort.
Love
This is a simple Rule. Love your Daddy. Do not simply Obey, Submit, and be a toy for his pleasure. Truly love him as he loves you. A Good Daddy holds you in a special place in his heart, as you should with him. Discover together how your love manifests between you both.[A note from Cornertime Confidential: As anyone who ever watched Oprah, Love is something that is earned over time. Not all Daddys are Good and the same goes for boys. It's important if you intend to have a Daddy/boy Domestic Discipline relationship, you'll need to find the honest, authentic mix, so you can make the necessary space for Love.
Commitment
Daddy/boy relationships benefit from a bond of trust. It means being true and faithful to your Daddy as his Good boy. As he should be to you to earn the right to be your Good Daddy. In this day and age, it especially means no side play with others without the consent [of Daddy or boy.] The great thing about being men, non-monogamy is a topic we can talk about honestly and openly. Commitment doesn't necessarily mean 19th century ball and chain. Commitment is as important to keep as the love you share.
If the Love is broken, the relationship can either heal over time or end completely. If the commitment, the trust, is broken then there may be no real return to what you had before.
Trust may be given at the start, but you must continue to earn it and remain committed to what you have gained or you risk its complete destruction. There cannot be casual infractions of Commitment for a boy or a Daddy, as it breaks the relationship in a way that throws its entire value into question.
Follow These 9 Rules, and You'll Have Tons of Fun With Your Good boy or Your Good Daddy!
— The Dirty Daddy
Please comment below or email us with your ideas
aok4otk@aol.com or cornertimeconf@gmail.com
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Folks,
So I am just going to come out and say this, we are an all-inclusive site, period.
Do we have Gay members, YES, do we have straight members YES, do we have transgender members YES and do we have Female members YES.
If you do not like a photo or a video or a comment, then you can personally choose not to watch it or view it and can block content from members you do not wish to see. It really is that simple.
If you want to be an banned word .. then leave .. just go, because you are not wanted here.
What possible pleasure can you get from disrespectful and abusive behavior huh?
Get a life .. and so you know there is zero tolerance for this, and why? Because I said so and as I own the site, that is the way it is, period. If you don't like my explanation, well too bad for you.
I do not often get angry but tonight I am pissed, just think about tolerance, think about inclusion and think very, very, hard on what being a 'bigot' means. Those with such short-sighted minds, well God help you.
Enough Said
James AND Denis
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If you have fantasized about being spanked with a hairbrush, let me tell you now, be very careful what you wish for it is not a joke or novelty and the sting it delivers is unique. Every smack resonates, it is an insistent sound contrasting with the rapidly reddening of my bare fanny that is being thoroughly tanned as I lay over my dads’ knees, jeans and briefs around my ankles.
After the first swat I feel a burning sting that grows into a continuous warmth that never stops, it just heats up more and more, searing my bare bottom. It hurts but the pain and heat are only the beginning.
The first spank creates a gentle pink, that very quickly turns very red as my spanking continues. The color and temperature of my bottom will last for hours and I do mean hours afterwards.
A hairbrush spanking needs trust, communication, and even love and fulfillment. The hairbrush has a unique way of stripping away pride, or selfishness and getting to the bottom of a naughty boys’ problems.
While not all hairbrushes are the same, the most effective ones are where the head is relatively small compared to its weight. The smaller surface can focus on the same spot with ease and without heavy wielding, the result is one of shock and stinging that is hard to describe but one that is particularly meaningful when the spanking is for punishment. Although the intense heat and sting elicits promises of good behavior in a very short time, it does no real harm and my bottom heals quickly.
If your dad or top uses a paddle style hairbrush, believe you me you are getting off lightly, just wait until you get it with one of the smaller headed ones, you will soon know the difference. The hairbrush is such a formidable tool it commands authority and respect. When that brush makes contact with my bared fanny, it serves as a reminder that rules are meant to be followed – no ifs, ands or buts about it.
Most of all though, unlike some implements cush as a paddle, which can be become predictable, that can never be said about the hairbrush. It can reach parts and emotions like nothing else can.
How often do I get the brush, honestly about four or five times a year and there are always plenty of tears while it’s happening and when my nose is put in the corner to reflect on my behavior afterwards!
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I started my spanking journey about 5 years ago, and I definitely remember what it was like building up the courage to go to my first meet as a Spankee. Since then, I have become more of a switch. I feel like I have learnt what makes for a really good experience as a spankee and now want to give that experience to others as a spanker.
I know that some of you are new to all this, so I thought that I would pass on some of the things that I have learnt make for a safe and exhilarating spanking experience.
1) Correspond with somebody first to make sure you a basic fit.
It is always difficult in messaging to find out what makes people tick. You won't get a perfect match, but make sure you are in the same ball park. For example some guys want to role play house master and student and give you six of the best as punishment (not for me). Others want a more erotic experience - gentle build up, lots of body contact, with the aim of orgasm by spankee, or both spankee and spanker (more my scene).
2) Agree to meet first in a public place.
I like to meet in a pub or coffee shop first. Make sure it is somewhere discrete. Spend 20-30 mins chatting with them. Make sure they are who they said they were in their messages, and that they have the same expectations as you. I once met a guy who in the pub said he wanted to cane me until I couldn't sit down. I thanked him for the drink and said I didn't think it would work and left!
3) After the drink and when you have agreed to progress to the spanking, move on to either your place, or somewhere relatively public.
Hotel meets work well for me, although I do like to have some music on to muffle any sounds. Unless you feel you know somebody well avoid meeting them at their place on a first meet. I've never had any problems meeting at somebodies home, but it just makes me feel safer for the first meet.
4) Have some idea about what are suitable instruments for your spanker to use.
For your first ever spanking meet consider asking for only hand. I personally like the belt and then strap. The paddle and bathbrush can be fairly severe, especially if they are hard wood. I am happy to give them out if the guy is OK with that. I always avoid the cane and tawse - too severe a punishment for me to receive and I don't like bruising and really hurting a guy when giving.
5) Give the spanker some idea of what intensity/severity you are after.
For me the scale goes something like
- Mild, just really playing
- Red and pink, which will disappear by the following morning
- Red and pink with a few marks. You feel it in the morning, but the marks will be gone in 2 day times
- Some bruising. You'll feel it for a few days, and marks may last a week.
- Heavy bruising. It will hurt to sit down the following day. Marks will last a while.
As a spankee, I usually go for red and pink with a few marks (I'm light skinned and mark easily.) When spanking, I have given some guys some light bruises on his request, but I don't want to do it again.
Remember the position in which you are spanked will change the severity. Short range swats (such as hand OTK) are less severe than long range swats (such as strap prison style with you over a desk).
6) For your first few meets agree a safeword.
I always offer a spankee a safeword. A word which when said stops play immediately. Pick something ease to remember ("Red" is a good choice). A safeword makes the session have less adreline, but for the first few sessions it will give you some confidence that things can stop if you get out of your depth. Most of my spankee choose not to have a safeword, but I usually insist on one myself the first time I meet a guy.
I hope you all enjoy your exploration of spanking. It can really be an adreline fuel, endorphine pumping, erotic journey.
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Meet Daddy Howard
You've probably heard about him. He's from a long time ago. You ma have actually seen his old, old videos that still hold up pretty well. Except for the oddly stiff delivery he was prone to, Daddy Howard was an incredible Spanker. Like Cliff Meador over at Spanking Central, he was known for being quite a controlling personality and a character.
But he was also an important figure in the use of Domestic Discipline and Punishment Spankings and this week we want to celebrate Daddy Howard as Hall of Famer of Great Men Who Spank.
Cornertime Confidential Hall of Fame
In this blogpost, I'm trying to take just one of his videos and showcase some of the more exceptional moments. These clips include: mouthsoaping, swatting a naughty boy's bottom with his impressive hands that snapped like a paddle, his Daddy tone, and his ability to make a boy anticipate that there's more to come and his Spanking isn't over yet.
In honor of Great Men Who Spank, we bring you Daddy Howard. See you tomorrow and hopefully every day this week with a new installment! I received word from Blogger that this post was a violation of community standards, so you'll have to read this post at SouthSpanking.com.
I think I'll have to post separately as vids in the "VIDEO" tab in the upper nav here at SouthSpanking.com, we'll cover the following amazing videos and provide details on why these work so well for Daddy's seeking advice on how to do the following:
Daddy washing his boy's mouth out with soap.
Daddy Spanking his boy who's been sent to The Corner while standing up to extend the humiliation needed to chastise that boy.
Daddy having "That Talk" with his boy
I should have those up and live this week.
Separately, in my research for this Hall of Fame entry, I came across an interview with SF Gate, an online publication (June 27, 2005), Daddy Howard was interviewed there and said:
"Daddy" Howard Hyatt, 53, Spanked a young man on his bare butt -- first with his hand, then with a paddle, then with [The Hairbrush] -- as the man heaved with pain but didn't ask Hyatt to stop. The demonstration was meant as a safe introduction for newbies to dominance and submission.
"There's a lot of boys in this town who need it, love it and crave it, and I'm here to give it to them," Hyatt said.
He added that he has never received a Spanking. "Nah," he said, "it doesn't appeal to me."
--Bulwa, Demian, SFGate.com
Big shout out to the adult boys of San Francisco who regularly get their fannys warmed by Daddys across the region there!
Please comment below or email us with your ideas
aok4otk@aol.com or cornertimeconf@gmail.com
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With the virtual world taking over in general, and the world of spanking in particular, being a spanker or spankee isn't easy, and finding partners isn't simple, or even insurmountable for some. Of course, where we live is important. Since the spanking community is small, the fewer neighbors we have, the greater the likelihood of being the only spanko for miles around. In France, Paris may be an exception in this respect, but it's no paradise: the virtuality of relationships amplifies the obstacles, real or imagined. The existence of places like the Bunker in London, the Böse Buben or the Quälgeist in Berlin or the Church in Amsterdam encourages real encounters and real acquaintance with those who share our particular pleasure, but in Paris only the Keller offers a monthly party, and the latter is shunned by many - wrongly, it seems to me, but that's the way it is, and the battle against prejudice and irrational phobias is lost in advance, alas. So, since it seems that the virtual link must prevail and become inescapable, in France no doubt, but elsewhere too, we might as well think about the best way to become a spanker who effectively meets spankees and slowly but surely builds a network of friends, and vice versa for a spankee. This blog is neither a guide nor a catalog of principles to be followed, just a food for thought, and I encourage everyone to make their own constructive contribution to an edifice that I'd still prefer to be real rather than virtual.
First of all, it's best to determine what we want and what can be “put on the market” with the electronic high-fives.
We need to ask ourselves what attracts us to spanking, to try and understand what we like a priori, and to identify the practice in which we'll be comfortable, so we can be a good partner. It seems to me impossible to enter this “community”, and establish a profile if need be, without having asked ourselves this question and found a simple and certain answer. In any case, the image we offer on the networks depends solely on this prerequisite. If we're not sure and clear about what we want and like, what we find attractive and what we don't, it will be difficult to establish a reliable and attractive profile and get in touch with anyone. Each of us is unique, but we need to find common links, if not common places, to find a partner. So the traits that can serve as a basis for determining a sociable profile can be broken down as follows: a fetish (kink) deeply rooted in our psyche or our imagination; we experienced it before adulthood and we'd like to play it over; we received it by chance as part of an meeting of a completely different nature, but it turned us on and we want to deepen this aspect of our sexuality or sensuality; we have an old, unexplained inclination, never experienced before adulthood; we have a penchant for the punitive aspect of this practice; we'd like to be the one to turn other men's spanking fantasies into reality; we imagine this relationship in terms of coaching or directing, educating, etc.; we've enjoyed spanking as a sexual preliminary and want to develop this preliminary into a full-fledged practice; we have broader BDSM practices and sometimes want to refocus on this practice alone in certain circumstances; we've seen a video or photo that has revealed to us a fantasy world we'd never suspected; and so on. There's no shortage of reasons, and we can think of many more. In all cases, we need to determine our likes and dislikes in order to establish a profile and describe the type of spanking sessions we're looking for or can offer.
Secondly, you need to be aware that you'll need to determine the place, time and foreseeable duration of a meeting.
This is perhaps the most crucial question, as there are many material disadvantages which can become real obstacles to a real meeting in a private space. Living in a big city and close to public transport is obviously a clear advantage. And I can honestly only talk about what I know. I'm a Parisian. A city is an undeniable opportunity for this practice. I imagine that outside a large conurbation, this practice can only be conditional on extensive travel, which makes it even more problematic as we're not inclined to travel miles for the King of Prussia (i.e "to do 'something' for nothing", French expression for which I don't know the English equivalent, if you know it, I'd be interested😁). In any case, a trip has to be prepared, and the pre-meeting exchange is all the more necessary as we need to be sure of his fate before embarking on the road. As a general rule, it's the spanker who gets spankee, but there are exceptions to this rule. It's more convenient for the spanker, who doesn't have to move his implements. That said, the spankee may also have fetish implements that he would like to receive and should therefore bring with him. In short, going to a stranger's house to receive a correction is intriguing and unsettling enough to form the basis of a satisfying scenario. Indeed, being at home gives the spanker a certain ease and places him in a situation of added vulnerability, while at the same time giving him a certain assurance. Certainly, very few criminals act at home, and if they do, it's almost entirely by accident. It seems to me superfluous to point out that, in such cases, the premises must be welcoming and clean. The most elementary rules of courtesy and politeness apply, especially if we want to see our partner again. When, for one reason or another, we can't host a party, or the hostess lives too far away, it's perfectly possible to find a hotel or an Airbnb, or even a Love Hotel. In Paris, we're lucky enough to have one near Les Halles, which is very central and perfectly suited to this kink. No one to complain about the noise or give you the stink eye. There's even a room with a spanking bench. It's ideal if you can't entertain... But for some, it'll always be a deterrent. There's nothing we can do to overcome prejudice and preconceptions.
Then you have to find the time. You have to make yourself available, but you can't expect to meet someone at the last minute. You need a stable and organized schedule, and above all you need to take the time to prepare for the meeting a few days beforehand, but not months in advance. Of course, for some people, the need for a spanking is an impulse that needs to be dealt with quickly. In this case, two or three days seems a reasonable amount of time. In short, the preparation time depends on both partners. The only thing that's ruled out is a last-minute meeting. The Grindr spirit is not the ideal of this kink. What's more, a good spanking is one that lasts as long as is necessary for each partner to achieve what they wanted before the meeting. More often than not, it's the spankee and his stamina that determine the duration of the correction. In any case, a 15-minute spanking will rarely be satisfactory for both partners. You need to take into account moments of rest, cornering, possible discussions... The duration should also depend on travel time. No one will go for a short spanking if a journey of several hours has to be made. Time must be adapted to each individual's needs, but also to each person's involvement in the meeting, especially if the journey is cross-border.
Thirdly, we need to know the fundamentals of spanking, from a technical, psychological and behavioral point of view.
Spanking is not hitting. Hitting is only one aspect of spanking. We can't and shouldn't want to hit or be hit anywhere, anyhow. Spanking depends on the anatomy of the buttocks. And we have to learn where to spank and where not to spank. The four classic zones. Above all, the spanker needs to learn the gestures to adopt. Hand position, rhythm, variation of rhythm, dosage and intensity, time-outs and restarts. A spanking is a variation on a simple gesture. However, if we stick to a single gesture, the exercise will quickly become boring, if not tedious. This simple gesture can be developed and improved. From a flat hand to a curved one, fingers clenched or spread apart, a stroke placed or slapped, pressed or caressed, regular or irregular cadence, counted or rhythmic series, the range of possibilities is finally rich enough to surprise a spankee and thus increase his desire and/or pleasure, and in turn that of the one administering the punishment. Administering takes on its full meaning here. Defining, controlling and adapting the spanking are essential. Body language is also important. General movement, legs, feet, head, moans, cries, complaints, tears, real or simulated, all these signs of the spankee side are important. Voice, tone, commands, poise, tranquility, determination, the ability to alternate strokes and caresses, threat, execution and reassurance are all important signs of the spanker side. For both, the look is fundamental.
The guiding principle of this practice is Safe, Healthy and Consensual, abbreviated SSC. It's a prerequisite for any activity of a more or less BDSM nature. We need to learn to practice an activity that is Safe, in order to prevent health risks; Healthy, i.e. initiated within a healthy mental framework; and Consensual, as activities must be fully consented to by both partners. This should not prevent full responsibility, as consent can be inoperative in the face of criminal liability for any injury caused, physically or psychologically. This last point leads directly to the Risk Aware Consensual Kink, abbreviated RACK, i.e. the principle that emphasizes responsibility, consensual action, recognition and personal, explicit acceptance of risk. Both spanker and spankee must have a high level of awareness of the risks associated with this activity. This does not stop at the immediately visible marks. Some people have confused psyches that can be dangerous; in another blog I talked about manipulative narcissistic perverts and parasitic personalities. There are other psychological traumas that can sometimes interfere with this practice. The victim is not necessarily the spanker... It's a complex world. Finally, there'saftercare, the care and attention after a session that serves to stabilize both partners emotionally and reduce any unnecessary stress. The use of creams either for the marks or for the pain is recommended. In general, this also prolongs the partners' pleasure.
Ultimately, to optimally mitigate any risk, we need to think seriously, at all times, about the safety, technical and boundary aspects of each of our partners. We need to consider emergency signals, known as safewords, to guarantee access to first-aid equipment in case of need. Signs, hand movements or gestures can also be defined for situations where it is difficult or impossible to speak. These words or gestures can be graduated like traffic lights, from green to red. It's important to discuss possible physical and psychological reactions in advance. Consent must be explicit before any meeting, and revocable only at the moment of action. We need to feel at ease, and make sure that the limits set are respected at all times. Dialogue does not end at the beginning of the meeting, but only at the end, although it may be extended or resumed for clarification or correction. Any session can come to a premature end. We have to know how to say “no”, on both the spanker's and the spankee's side. We have to accept it. On the other hand, once the action has been exhausted, there's no honest way of going back on consent. Consent is essential, but it must not be used as a weapon to harass, stalk or threaten the other person. I've been with two individuals who have suffered the effects of this ultimate perversion in a three-way game. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The best thing is to guard against it and immediately eject anyone who plays with the notion of consent the day after an encounter. We may or may not consent, but we don't use consent as an afterthought. This is intolerable in a small community like ours, where the fundamental values of consent, confidentiality, respect, kindness and mutual care should preside over any mature, responsible relationship.
Finally, we need to know how to reasonably enrich the range of spankings.
The use of the hand is essential to differentiate a good spanker from a mediocre or bad one. Use and learning are the only way to train. Observe, understand, imitate, reproduce, and finally discard models to acquire your own techniques. Imple≤ments are also essential, because to vary the intensity and duration of a spanking, you need to vary the sensations. And every implement creates a different impression.
Where to spank is relatively easy to learn. We need to watch videos, see what the spankers do, how the spankee behave. Only then can we really know. We also need to learn to read body language and know where the spanker or the spankee are in their psyche. Indeed, in addition to the pain felt or given, the main sexual organ being the brain, many elements such as humiliation, frustration, regression, trust, abandonment or submission, as giver or receiver, enter into the affair. Having been spanked is an advantage for the spanker, but not a necessity.
As far as implements are concerned, there is little point in having a table entirely covered with a variety of expensive implements. The first spankings should be mainly manual. And a hand muscles itself in a certain way. The implements come next: belts, brushes, ping-pong paddles, flip-flops, wooden rulers and spoons, slippers, national spanking instruments like the English cane, the Scottish tawse, the American paddle or the French martinet. And we can always imagine others. But be careful to use them wisely, taking into account the spankee's desires and abilities, the spanker's skills and the intrinsic qualities of each implement. Hard implements hurt more than leather ones, but after all, it's just a question of use and dose. It goes without saying that implements should not be used in their dangerous aspect, like a belt buckle. In any case, everyone should discover them at their own pace. Spankees sometimes have fetishes, as do spankers. One will hold the brush, another the martinet or the belt. We have to adapt without giving up our limits or our own desires. If an instrument doesn't suit you, don't insist. We have to admit that we don't know how to use an implement, or that we never will. It's also important to respect the limits of spankee. Some implements are frightening, overly so or for good reason, while others are unappealing or repulsive for various reasons. Never insist.
There are still two points to consider. The creation of a profile and the question of images taken during our meetings. I'll deal with them another time.
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In the crisp, late-autumn air of a Saturday afternoon , the modest football pitch of West London Park buzzed with the energy of an amateur match between Albion City FC, decked out in their red and white kit, and Fulham Rovers, clad in all blue. The stands, sparsely populated with a mix of diehard locals and curious passersby, hummed with the occasional cheer or jeer, the scent of grass and sweat mingling with the faint aroma of hot pies from a nearby vendor, the grey London sky overhead casting a muted light over the scene, the pitch a stage for gritty competition, the city’s pulse a distant thrum. The game was a scrappy affair, the players’ enthusiasm outweighing their skill, but one figure stood out amidst the chaos: Ade Davis, a 24-year-old British-born Black lad, tearing aggressively up and down the pitch for Fulham Rovers.
Ade was a striking presence, standing at 6’1” with a lean, muscular frame that spoke of years on the field, his perfect ebony skin gleaming with a light sheen of sweat under the overcast sky. His face was handsome in a rugged way, with high cheekbones, a broad nose, and full lips often curled into a cocky smirk, his short black hair cropped close, his dark brown eyes flashing with intensity. His blue kit—tight jersey hugging his broad shoulders and chest, knee-high blue socks pulled taut over his calves, and black football boots scuffed from the turf—clung to his body, but it was his lower half that drew attention. The drum-tight blue shorts encased a very round, bubble butt, the fabric stretched to its limit, accentuating the firm, muscular curves, while a noticeable big bulge hinted at his physical prowess, the kit a second skin, the pitch a stage for his dominance, the city silent.
Across the field, Iain Muir, a stern 54-year-old Scottish referee, watched with a critical eye. Standing at 5’10”, Iain was wiry but strong, his weathered face etched with lines from years under the sun, his graying brown hair thinning beneath his black referee cap, his piercing green eyes narrowed behind wire-rimmed glasses, his salt-and-pepper stubble framing a tight-lipped expression. Dressed in the standard black referee kit—short-sleeved shirt, black shorts, and polished boots—his presence commanded respect, his Scottish burr thick as he barked orders, his aura one of unyielding authority, the pitch a stage for his control, the city a faint hum. Iain had noticed Ade early on, not just for his skill but for the way his shorts seemed to distract players and spectators alike, the younger man’s aggressive playstyle adding fuel to Iain’s growing irritation.
The match reached a boiling point in the 65th minute when Ade, after a rough tackle, earned a yellow card. Iain blew his whistle sharply, the shrill sound cutting through the murmurs of the crowd, his green eyes locking onto Ade as the player swaggered over, his blue shorts swaying with each confident step, his black boots crunching the grass, the pitch a stage for their confrontation, the city silent. Ade’s dark brown eyes flashed with defiance, his London street slang rolling off his tongue as he leaned in, his voice loud and brash. “Oi, ref, what’s this bullshit yellow for? You’re blind, innit! Sort it out, man!” he barked, his full lips curling into a sneer, his ebony skin glistening, his big bulge prominent, the crowd’s gasps audible, the pitch a stage for his arrogance, the city a faint hum.
Iain’s green eyes narrowed, his Scottish burr cutting through Ade’s tirade like a blade. “I’ve had enough of yer lip, lad. Attitude like that deserves a lesson,” he growled, his wiry hand snapping out to grip Ade’s wrist with surprising strength. Before the stunned player could react, Iain marched him toward a nearby bench, the wooden structure weathered and graffitied, the crowd falling into a shocked silence, the pitch a stage for the unthinkable, the city silent. Ade’s dark brown eyes widened, his cocky smirk fading, his muscular frame tensing as he realized Iain’s intent, his blue shorts swaying, his knee-high socks slipping slightly, his black boots scuffing the ground, the pitch a stage for his humiliation, the city a faint hum.
“What the banned word , man?! You can’t do this—let go, you queer bastard!” Ade shouted, his London slang laced with homophobic venom, his full lips trembling, his ebony skin flushing with rage, his big bubble butt jiggling as Iain pulled him down across his knee, the referee’s black shorts pressing against Ade’s thigh, the crowd’s gasps turning to murmurs, the pitch a stage for his protest, the city silent. Iain’s green eyes glinted with stern resolve, his Scottish burr firm as he scolded, his wiry hand raised. “Yer attitude’s out of line, Davis, and those distracting shorts—pure provocation. Time ye learned some respect!” he barked, his calloused hand coming down with a sharp *CRACK* on Ade’s drum-tight blue shorts, the sound echoing across the pitch, the crowd frozen in disbelief, the city a faint hum.
Ade gasped, his firm cheeks quivering under the impact, the tight fabric outlining the reddening skin, each orb bouncing with the force, his big bulge pressed into Iain’s lap, his knee-high blue socks stretching, his black boots scrabbling against the bench, his dark brown eyes streaming with shock, the pitch a stage for his struggle, the city silent. “ banned word off! Stop this banned word, you perv!” he roared, his London accent cracking, his muscular thighs kicking, veins popping, his abs contracting, his big bubble butt clenching futilely, the crowd’s murmurs growing louder, the pitch a stage for his defiance, the city a faint hum. Iain spanked again, *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK*, each hit harder, Ade’s arse jiggling, the blue shorts highlighting the raw flesh, the pain building, his cheeks bouncing with each strike, his big bulge swaying, the fabric soaked with sweat, his dark brown eyes filling with tears, the pitch echoing with his shouts, the city silent. “Take it, ye big-bottomed brat! Yer shorts are a disgrace—focus on the game, not yer swagger!” Iain scolded, his Scottish burr thick with authority, his green eyes glinting, his wiry frame trembling with strength, the pitch a stage, the city a faint hum.
Ade’s struggles intensified, his black boots scuffing the bench, his knee-high socks slipping, his blue jersey riding up to reveal a sliver of his toned back, his ebony skin glistening with sweat, the crowd’s shock turning to a mix of gasps and uneasy laughter, the pitch a stage for his humiliation, the city silent. Iain’s calloused hand gripped the waistband of Ade’s tight shorts, yanking them down in one swift motion, exposing black briefs that clung to his smooth, round arse, the fabric stretched taut, red marks where the shorts had dug in, the pitch silent save for Ade’s ragged breaths, the city silent. Iain spanked Ade’s arse through the briefs, *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK*, the sound sharper, Ade groaning, his cheeks clenching, the cotton amplifying the sting, the pitch echoing with his cries, the crowd’s murmurs rising, the city a faint hum. “Please, man… stop… this ain’t right!” Ade bargained, his London accent faltering, his dark brown eyes pleading, his big bubble butt quivering, the pitch a stage for his submission, the city silent.
Iain’s green eyes hardened, his Scottish burr unrelenting as he peeled the briefs down, exposing Ade’s big, shiny, smooth arse, the ebony skin now a searing red, the cheeks swollen, the round globes bouncing with each movement, his flaccid dick and heavy balls swaying beneath, the pitch a stage for his exposure, the city silent. Iain’s wiry hand came down with a vicious *CRACK*, spanking Ade’s bare arse, the sound reverberating, Ade wailing, his big buns bouncing like overripe fruit, the pain shattering his aggressive facade, his thick thighs jocking, his arse wiggling with each hit, his black boots scrabbling, the pitch a stage for his defeat, the city silent. “That’s it, lad—learn yer place! No more of this cocky nonsense!” Iain rasped, his calloused hand relentless, his green eyes glinting, his wiry frame trembling, the pitch a stage, the city a faint hum.
Ade’s dark brown eyes streamed, his full lips trembling, his ebony skin flushed with shame, his abs spasming, his big bulge aching, his straight-lad bravado crumbling, the pitch echoing with his pleas, the London afternoon quiet, the city silent. “Alright, alright… I’m sorry, man! Please stop—I’ll behave, I swear!” he bargained, his London accent breaking, his muscular thighs quaking, his knee-high socks bunched, the pitch a stage for his apology, the city silent. As the spanking continued, *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK*, Ade’s resistance faded, his wails turning to sobs, his big bubble butt jiggling, his flaccid dick and balls swinging, his black boots stilled, the pitch a stage for his breakdown, the city a faint hum. “Please, sir… I’m sorry… I’ll be good… no more attitude!” he pleaded, his voice a broken whimper, his dark brown eyes tear-filled, his ebony skin marked with welts, the pitch echoing with his submission, the city silent.
Iain, satisfied with the lesson, released Ade, the younger man collapsing onto the bench, his bare arse a throbbing, crimson mass, his blue shorts and briefs tangled at his ankles, his knee-high socks sagging, his black boots scuffed, his blue jersey soaked with sweat, his handsome face streaked with tears, his straight-lad pride shattered, the pitch a testament to his chastening, the London afternoon quiet, the city silent. Iain stood, adjusting his black shorts, his green eyes stern but calm, his Scottish burr firm as he spoke. “Off ye go, Davis—early shower, and yer sent off. Behave next time,” he ordered, his wiry frame unwavering, the pitch a stage for his authority, the city a faint hum. Ade, suitably chastened, stumbled to his feet, clutching his shorts as he shuffled bare-bottomed toward the locker room, the crowd’s stunned silence giving way to scattered applause and jeers, the pitch a stage for his exit, the London afternoon cool, the city’s hum a distant echo.
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This is conversation I had with the former marketing director of Studio 7 and thought I wouls share it with you.
The interviews were done in a twostep process. The phone listed for “models wanted” was a pager I wore and the number also had a message machine that required leaving physical stats, age able to be proved, and a contact number. If that all was OK, I’d return the call for a chat about the potential model’s interest. Voice was important as was information on the potential’s background and body. If the caller sounded possibly OK (about a third were rejected by phone alone), I’d set up a cup of coffee at a very public and open coffee shop at one of the huge resorts on Hotel Circle. I’d go and see if the boy with the colored shirt was there, alone and within the range of age and looks we were looking for? If so, I’d join him and order something to drink. I’d suggest we move to the side and require he show me his driver’s license as this was a strict modeling job conversation only.
Surprisingly, no one ever showed for that public interview who wasn’t genuinely interested. The boys were nervous often (it was always midafternoon). We’d talk quietly and personally about why the boy wanted to model and especially be in a disciplinary video? Money was always a factor and I’d ask what the money was needed for?
Tomas, for example, wanted to pay his single Mom’s doctor’s bill (never been spanked). Scott always wanted to make a video and though it would be hot to make a spanking one as he’d been spanked growing up. Johnny had just arrived with his mom by car from Louisiana fleeing with his mom from a very abusive Mom’s latest series of a boyfriend and he was out of cash and his mom was hitting the streets of downtown San Diego. Another boy was a 22-year-old, excellent candidate, who’d just become a teacher, who lived with an older man – best candidate I ever saw (I can explain later). And there were others.
If the interview seemed potential with zero “red flags” I would tell the boy that the next step was an interview with me at a later time when he would be required to take all of his clothes off to show his body and go over my knees to see how he reacted to this kind of video but he would not be spanked or offered anything until he passed it, if he passed it. It was always a few days later with the exception of the teacher and Johnny in order to ensure the boy was actually interested and not just a spur of the moment way to make quick cash. Legal papers had to be signed by the applicant giving consent to that final interview and the first and any subsequent filming’s and they required to boy to have the papers notarized before the next step in the interviewing process.
The papers were close to the same used in the normal Hollywood film industry and were written by Screen Actors Guild Attorney at my insistence. Anywhere from three days to two weeks later we would schedule a time and meet at the “studio” (behind the print shop). Alan and his attorney would be there and review the papers in the print shop. If all were in order, there never was a case where all wasn’t in order though not all the boys actually made videos, the boy and I would go into the “studio” alone with the door shut and I’d talk him through the film’s scenario, hold him, strip him, take him over my knees and lead him through it. He would know the cash he’d be paid any also that the cash would be doubled if he actually cried (in the film, of course, not the interview).
Yes, I saw firsthand, so to speak, how males reacted to these spanking scenarios. Some did say things like, “Ah, come on, give me a spanking and show me what it’s really like.” I NEVER did, absolutely not! But it was interesting the reactions of the boys given their various backgrounds.
Tomas would only agree if I did the video with him and thus came the masque that was made. The actual video was made a few weeks after all interviews were completed to ensure the model had time to think it through and really wanted to do it. I was present at all filming’s, two then three stationary cameras were always on and Don the only other person in the room besides the boy and Dad actors were the only ones there! I was not involved in any of the documentation or cash or business transactions but I certainly did get a lot of experience!
Tomas was an Interesting boy. In spite of everything, he was the most reluctant when he realized the photographer was also in the filming room and he was also the most shocked at the fact that it was real and hurt. He did sob but not in front of the cameras. He returned for two more videos (Not with me) and a couple of privates where good money changed hands (out of my sight). He to this day lives with a man and is still spanked.
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I will never ever allow this site to become an arena for bigots', Bully's or worse. We are a community, and I know the site admins and vast majority of members support me on this.
I was very late in acting on my nearly lifelong fascination, largely because my husband has no interest in spanking. It was 10 years ago next month that I went to the Folsom St Fair in San Francisco and checked out the famous charity spanking booth. After excitedly watching a series of other guys get spanked, I finally summoned my courage and walked up with a $20 bill. The spanker asked what I would choose for my 20 swats. With a sense of going big or going home I said I'd take the wood paddle. It was intense and thrilling and I knew I wanted to be involved in more of this. The guys at the booth gave me a card for the monthly men's spank parties, and I went to the very next one and was well on my way to making up for a lot of lost time. And here is the pic I still have of checking out in the mirror the next day the results of my first real spanking.
I spanked a guy who said that it was when someone else took down his pants that he realized that he was not in control of what was about to happen. That pants down shuffle that happened to you is familiar to many bad boys. If your pants and underwear are going to be completely removed from now on, you can develop some good spanking dance moves.(beaming) I prefer to use clothing as a form of restraint. Pants and underwear around the knees or ankles prevents a boy from wildly kicking and flailing his legs about.
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