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by on November 22, 2021
Hello to everyone in the community, here is the blog that I have been wanting to write for a while, to share my experience, to get some of yours, but mostly to open the discussion about this specific topic that affects many of us spankers, switches and spankees, regardless of if we are straights, gays or bisexuals, married or just partnered: being an active spanko while being in a relationship. Having myself been in a committed relationship since 2016 now, and having spoken about this subject with several guys I met, spankees but also spankers, I am aware that it is a somewhat difficult subject for the many of use attempting to combine an active spanking life and a relationship. Basically, having this kink (or any kink) is somewhat easier when you are single : No need to worry about the bruises or just showing our ass if you are on the receiving end of the spanking, no need to hide your activities to a more or less unknowing partner and feel guilty about it. And also no need to worry either about the schedule of your partner (especially with covid and people working from home more frequently), or an impromptu early return home while you are in the middle of a spanking session. And yet, many of us don’t see themselves remaining single and don’t want to have to choose between a spanking kink that we can’t really get rid off and a partner with which we are deeply in love. I have seen many types of relationships in which couple life and a spanking kink cohabit with more or less ease: On the sadder end of the spectrum guys whose partner/wife/husband is not aware that they have this kink and who hope they never find out because they are afraid that this would be a deal breaker. This is even worse for guys in a straight marriage that fear that their wife learning that they have a gay-perceived activity may reject them even harder, or when they have to be careful about their interior or phone picture when they meet other spanko (As a spanker, it personnaly creeps me out a bit to be greated by the picture of the wife and kids on whatsapp, or the wife giant picture at home when meeting with a married guy. I can’t help feeling bad for them). Then come the guys whose partner is more open minded and allows some “on the side activities”, don’t really want to know what this is about, but will agree to it so long as it does not happen too often and he/she never has to witness it. Then, we have guys that have told their partner about their spanking kink. The partner is not really interested in participating, but will allow it under various conditions or will negociate something for her/himself in exchange. And finally, on the luckier end of the spectrum, we have the ones lucky enough to be with a partner who is also into spanking. Although this last case might seem ideally, it is worth mentioning that 2 partners into spankings may not have the same needs at the same time, and may or may not be in a constant D/S relationship: in other word they may not necessary always (or at all) play together.   I am well aware that there is no way to know in advance where you will fall with a new partner, and that searching for the one grail partner that is into spanking or at least okay with it is not always an option as he or she may never show up. I wondered what were your thought on this subject, and if some of you were willing to share where they feel they are in the spectrum I described, what their struggles are (if any), what are the good sides, and eventually a few tips that worked for them to make their spanking kink cohabit nicely with their couple life. Who knows ! Other might find your experience useful, both the do’s and the dont’s. --   Since I opened this post, I suppose that I will share my experience first: When I started as a spanko : I was in a straight relationship. My girlfriend did not know about my spanking kink, and when I tried to talked about it be it, I quickly sensed that she was not interested, and would have been horrified at the idea of me being spanked by older guys. Yes, I was on the receiving end back then. Nevertheless, the urge was strong, so I practiced without her knowing whenever either of us was away for a few days (to hide the bruises), or I used cheap hotel rooms when I was on the spanker side and using my place wasn’t a solution. To be fairly honest, I don’t thing I could have fully stopped my spanking activities. But the guilt was there and it was bitter, especially when lying about how my trip/day was or when she came back from her own trip. And their was also the fear of being discovered because of a bruise that might not heal quickly enough.  Although on that last point, I learned that people can be really oblivious about clues when they don’t know that spanking can be a thing for some of us. Overall, it is not a nice experience and the guilt took a toll in both my relationship and my spanking experience that couldn’t be as meaningful and open as I had hoped they could be.   I am currently in a relationship with BenDa (which I met shortly after breaking up with the aforementioned girlfriend and the surge of spanking activity that followed). My current boyfriend BenDa is also into spanking, we met through spankthishookups. He is almost a 100% spankee, and I am almost a 100% spanker, which is convenient on paper. Oddly enough, spanking activities together greatly diminished when we moved in together as we felt like a continuous spanker/spankee relationship was not for us. While he participates from time to time in group spankings, or help me with videos, we mostly have our separate spanking lifes where he meets his spankers, and I meet my spankees. Our current deal is to be open about all of our spanking meetings (who we meet, when and where) and that any of us can veto a spanker, a spankee or a date if we feel uncomfortable with someone or something. We also have a “no sex policy”, as in: it is spanking only and nothing else that we can practice. This later policy as an exception where we can both allow things to go farther (with how far to be determined together) with a regular spanker for him, and a regular spankee for me. So far, he has given me green light with 1 spankee, and me green light with 1 spanker. There is also another recent exception for when we both have feeling for a guy, which also makes spanking and sex possible between the 3 of us. Overall, my situation since I met BenDa is quite good, especially recently. Yet, as nothing is perfect, it was difficult in the beginning because jealousy is stronger in the early “honey moon phase” of a relationship : I was not really confortable letting him show his sexy butt to any spanker that I knew might be interested in more than just a spanking with him. And likewise, when I was meeting a sexy young spankee, he was not always 100% comfortable in the beginning. With time, we learned to trust each other and our choices of people to meet. Through trials and errors, we also figured out how many meetings a month is acceptable, and how many is too much. I also learned that so long as he meet with the right guys, just because he is naked during spanking sessions (he is a spankee remember) doesn’t mean that it is more likely to turn into something else than for me that stay fully dressed. So far, I have never betrayed his trust. Whenever we have doubts, envies, or fears, we try our best to communicate.  And in truth, the only difficulty that we have is that –especially in these covid time- it is sometimes difficult to find time slots to meet other spankos, as the both of us are a lot more at home, and it is also more difficult to accomodate extra spankings when many weekends are dedicated to our common crush. But to be honest, it almost certainly is better this way, as I fear that without our relationship and us sharing home, I might not filter as much who I meet for my spanking activities, thus resulting in more meeting but less quality time, and these meetings be ultimately less meaningful and less enjoyable. I certainly hope that my partner(s) will prevent me from becoming a serial spanker that want be friend and meet several time a month with all and any young guy, and forget in the process that you can't have it all : your relationship status and sometimes the relationship status of the guys you meet should be be taken into consideration if you don't want to strain your relationship with your partner, your spanking activities, or both; by having unreasonable expectations, or too great a taste for competition with guys that are single or just have a better deal with their partner. You can’t get it all, and I am perfectly happy to get less but better spanking activities, all the while preserving my couple and not having to feel bad about my partner or myself.   PS : picture unrelated
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by on November 16, 2021
Start at Bottom and Read from bottom up: From: m To: Me On Nov 11, 2021, at 12:49 PM EDT That strap scares the hell out of me .. lol. Let’s do the 20 pants up - then 8 rounds of 20 using wooden paddles then the last round of 20 use the strap - if I’m not crying and sobbing by the end of that you continue using the strap until I’m sobbing - dang you are a good negotiator.. lol I’m going to be nervous about this for sure .. since I don’t get to see you often might as well go for it … From: Me To: m On Nov 11, 2021, at 12:38 PM EDT Hell you're no lightweight son...we don't need all the preliminary pants up stuff. How about 20 pants then they come down. Then 5 rounds of 20 alternating with a paddle and my black rubber strap. If the strap doesn't have you in tears and your ass isn't too tore up, we can pick an implement or two and go from there. From: m To: Me On Nov 11, 2021, at 12:23 PM EDT I’m ok with trying - let do 5 rounds of 20 pants up and 5 rounds of 20 bare - if I’m not in tears by then I pick the paddle and bend over bare for you to paddle me to tears … you have me all kinda nervous now .. lol From: Me To: m On Nov 11, 2021, at 12:17 PM EDT I'd be a lot more interested in getting some real tears by the end of that whipping. Probably not going to happen, but something to shoot for. From: m To: Me On Nov 11, 2021, at 12:13 PM EDT Lol .. that’s been used trying to get someone to keep up with you .. I will try and see what I can take - you are a lot more than these other guys - I’ve meet one other guy who pushed me over the top but you 2 are the only guys who have ever pushed me that hard .. most of these guys want to swing a few licks - rub my ass and then have me suck them off - most are more interested in a banned word than actually spanking me .. lol From: Me To: m On Nov 11, 2021, at 12:08 PM EDT How about this? It is straight from your profile description: ".I love taking 10 rounds of 20 licks bare then letting the spanker just open up and swing till he gets tired of swinging !! I’m a pain slut .. Comments: Once I’ve taken my rounds of licks and the spanker paddles me till he is tired of swinging , hopefully I’m in tears, " From: m To: Me On Nov 11, 2021, at 12:04 PM EDT Exactly.. and I don’t have that feeling with anyone else who paddles me ? All the others are like “ ok let’s do this “ I’m 5 days away from meeting you and bending over for you and I already have nervous feel in my stomach while I’m typing this thinking damn he is going to bust my ass hard and I know I struggle with you .. let’s just go ahead and say - 5 paddles with 20 licks from each paddle bare - From: Me To: m On Nov 11, 2021, at 11:58 AM EDT Sounds good. If you're approaching it with a slight queasy feeling, a slight feeling of dread, then I know I've been doing my job right.  
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by on November 14, 2021
Hi Everyone, Sorry I have been absent lately, we have had a whole lot going on here, all from a personal perspective, I have had zero time on the site and I apologize. I also want to thank everyone that has donated to the site, I am picking up emails and if you have not recieved a personal thank you from me, I will get around to it, your support means a whole lot to me and to the site. I hope everyone is well .. as you know today is Sunday, so my own bare bottom spent some qaulity time over my dad's lap and my bottom being displayed in the corner afterwards.  It's a hard life for a boy! .. well his bottom anyway! hugggggiieeeesssssssssssssssss James
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by on November 3, 2021
So I was chatting to a lovely person on the site last night and I told him a story about a lovely “Uncle” figure I met in Prague in the early 90’s.   He told me that if I didn’t write it up and post it on South Spanking then he would spank me next time I was in his home city. I think he might have slightly misunderstood my inner workings, however I’m writing it up in the hope that when I do see him he will slipper me for my bad spelling.   In the 90’s I lived in Prague, I was young and worked in TV news, I was based in Prague but covered all of Eastern Europe. It was my day off and I was travelling on the Metro, I can’t remember where I was going, anyway I didn’t get there.   As I was exiting the Metro station an older gentleman asked me in German where the Kinského zahrada was. I apologised for my terrible German and tried to explain it to him. When I was not getting anywhere I fell back to “Sprachen ze English?”. He said very slowly and carefully “Yes I do, is your English better than your German?” I replied that yes my English was not bad considering although my teachers at my prep and public schools did not consider it so.   I explained that he had to go to the Tram Stop and get a number 18 (I think, I knew at the time but don’t use this story for public transport guidance) Tram in the direction Andel, but that on his map it was still marked as Moscova. I told him I was going to Smichov and I would show him what tram to get on and travel with him part of the way. Which I confess was very patronising of me, but he did not seem to mind.   We had to wait for the tram and we got to talking, he was an engineer from Berlin and I told him what I was doing in Prague. Then he said “You said you went to a Public school, tell me about it.”   I told him about it, how I had not really enjoyed it and how I had “Run away and joined the circus” at age 16 to get away from it.   He asked me if I had ever got the cane as a punishment, I was a little embarrassed and I sort of mumbled that yes I had. He said “But there is no shame in it surely”. I told him that I hated it because of the shame and because we were made to feel that we were being whacked because we had done an awful thing that was shameful. When we got to his stop I said I would walk to the park with him if he wanted. He said he would enjoy it very much.   As we were walking he asked me again about being caned at school, I was starting to detect that he was not just curious but that it was “Special” to him. I told him about the canings we got in the fourth and fifth year, how the housemaster would come in the last five minutes of prep and ask you to go and get changed into pyjamas and meet him in the showers. Then he would ask you to face the sinks and bend over. Then he would whack you with a cane he had hidden somewhere.   By this time we were sitting on a bench in the park and I was looking straight ahead and not looking at him. I decided to tell him, I thought he was either interested in spanking or an actual spanking enthusiast, I decided that if he cried out “You pervert” or was obviously offended, I could always run faster than he could, after all he would leave the city in a few days and it was not as if I would have to avoid him.   I told him that what I really wanted to do was to be slippered or caned on the bare behind. When he said “that is quite normal, do you like to be treated as a small boy?”   I sort of exploded, yes I like to be treated as if I’m 8 years old and with a very strict uncle who does not really tell me off but slippers me on the bare behind, always in private but for little things like messy eating.   He said “Well I would like to be that Uncle”. Then he took my hand and we walked across the park together ..   Now of course it might have been more complex than that, I might have been more stuttery and not so cool about it, however the outcome was the same.   We came to an ice cream stall and he told me to sit down on a bench, he went and bought two ice creams. When he came back to me he told me to hold the icecreams while he tucked a napkin under my chin. It was the most amazing experience I had ever felt, he was actually treating me like an 8 year old ..   I left it a minute or so, then I pulled out the napkin then some of the ice cream spilt on my shirt.   “Jason I’m sorry but I’m going to have to slipper you for that.”   I pretended to be downcast and said “Shall we go back to your hotel Uncle?” (we had already decided we could not go to mine as I shared with someone else)   “Not at all Jason, we will deal with that later .. We have lots of things to see today.”   So he dragged me round the city like a bored 8 year old, we had dinner in a small pizza restaurant and he put a napkin in my collar again, this time I was “Good”.   Eventually we went to the Forum, it was slightly embaressing because in those days before mobile phones I had to call in to the office and I had to add the Forum and room number to the list of my “Emergency numbers” I told them my uncle was visiting and we would be sitting up late chatting.   Uncle then said “Well young man it’s time for our little talk, I have put a pair of pyjamas and a towel in the bathroom, please have a shower and then put on the pyjamas and stand in the corner HERE.” and he pointed to the ground in the corner by the window.   I got undressed, used the toilet (sitting down of course) and then quickly showered and put on his pyjamas and ran to the corner like a frightened rabbit.   All I can say is that it’s lucky he had brought his slippers with him on holiday, I’m not sure I would have done .. he called me over and while he sat on the corner of the bed put me over his knee .. with the pyjamas still up .. He whacked me six times on the bottom with the slipper and then told me to go back to the corner. Five minutes later he called me back and as I stood in front of him he pulled down my pyjamas .. then he gave me my first pants down slippering of my life .. Then another one .. then one bent over a chair (6 of the best, it hurt a lot).   Then he told me to go to bed, and I went to get in the double bed .. No I was to go home and go to bed .. and come back tomorrow morning at 8am and we would go out for the day .. if I was a minute late he would slipper me again.   I went home and came back exactly as he told me to, except that of course I was EXACTLY one minute late. He walloped me again and then we went out for our day out. It was the same as the day before, just perfect he was the perfect uncle to an 8 year old .. Even one with a sore bottom .. he did ask me how it was a few times.   When we got back to the Forum the concierge intercepted us as we arrived, there was a message for me to call the office immediately. I had to drive to Romania that evening, I scribbled my phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to uncle, apologised, ran out of the hotel and never saw him again.   Such a lovely man, such a lovely experience.  
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by on October 24, 2021
There's a special type of humiliation being a older middle-aged guy who still gets spankings. You know you shouldn't need this. You think you should be the one delivering the spankings, but there you are being told to pull down your pants and underwear. Your junk is on full display. I'm not a guy who ever worries about the size of my junk, but all of a sudden I'm aware of the limpness on display. The exact opposite with my ball sack. As I've gotten older, my ball sack has dropped lower. When I'm told to get on my elbows and knees and spread em, I know those low hangers are on full display. Not sure why they're so embarassing to me. You know you should take it like a man, but soon you're kicking and squirming and wanting it to stop before you began. Once it's over and you're ordered into the corner, I think I should try to just casually walk, like it's all good, but given a time limit, I'm scurrying to avoid further punishment. It's uncomfortable standing with my red behind on display. And it feels degrading to make sure that my nose stays firmly in that corner or else there is going to be consequences. In the end, I tell myself this will be the last time, but before you know it, there I am again. Am I alone or do any of you other older guys feel this special sort of humiliation?
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by on October 20, 2021
Well another BAW has come and gone.   So I'm a bit down about it; it's hard to come back to normalicy.  After posting & chatting with a few others on Discord, I see I'm not alone in that experience.  Several have mentioned breaking down and crying on the trip home or after getting home. So I'm over at the ptbf's for supper.  We're in the living room having just finished eating.  As usual, he and his husband have the TV on, but have their faces buried in their PC's.  I tell the ptbf I want to tell him about some of my adventures at BAW and want him to read what I've posted on Discord about it.  First he says he can't read it on my phone; too small.  When I suggest his PC, he's not really wanting to look at a long story right now.  And he's not interested in my telling him about it.   That actually hurt; this stuff is important to me. So after waiting a bit, I take my plate to the kitchen (a good excuse).  I go out the back door to the back porch.  It's up 30 ft in the air; looks over the back yard.  Nice view; it's nice out there.  I put my hands on the railing, look around.  I tear up a bit but don't actually cry.   Then I remember two things; the husband has Real problems; health problems.  And Lee, the ptbf is really tired from work these days.  I develop a mantra and I say it out loud.  It helps: "Other people draw strength from me. I do not draw my strength from others If anything, I draw my strength from God." Repeating this a couple times, out loud actualy helps.  :)  
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by on October 18, 2021
Here are some things I posted on the BAW Discord channel the day I got back from the event.  I'll add a couple of things as I'm not as limited in length and I feel less need to self-censor here. What can I say? It was great. Wednesday was great, Thursday was totally Aweseome. Friday was a bit of a lull by comparison, but that's ok; let me rest for Saturday, which was also Awesome for different reasons. The Pledge class for 2021 kept me busy. You guys were fantastic. Too bad about the paddles; but they worked out for signatures. (Broke the first one on the first pledge I paddled; "swat", "swat", "swat", cracked). Eric, Sorry you got picked on so much. We had one mean brother that insisted on making it rough on the pledges (I of course was always sweet & gentle with the paddle :smile: ) I'm afraid the "bad brother" (RedRump) & I got Eric a bit harshly after hours (but that boy has a iron butt). For my designated Little Brother, sorry you had to drop out; maybe you'll do it again next year. We never did get Eric to make it through the Greek alphabet. Though by the end, I think all the pledges could recite the full names, positions & city of each host; as well as the original founding date, etc). And the Bad Ass Hell weekend pledge line-up (gauntlet)...damn, you never seen so many Red & Purple butts. :smile: (We got a little extra assistance from a couple of doms that happened to be standing by. Jonny, thanks for adding your "helpful hands' lol.)  I Also need to thank the PM for coming up with the idea.   Spankopoly & Spank poker were also a great time. Pledge Kev got to take some sweet revenge on yours truly in the poker game (lady luck was definitely Not with me).  Of course I Had to play; a poker game where the bets are but swats?  What country boy that happens to be a spanko could resist that? That last hand; still can't believe he bluffed all of us with two 4's. (But you try calling a 20 swat bare butt bet when you haven't been spanked in 2 years & all you have is two Kings; darn right I folded. That limited to damage to 10 frat paddle swats on bare). I got to exact a Little revenge when I finally won a hand. Spanked across Parliament was also great fun...it was hilarious.  Perhaps a bit of overacting; some of the "boys" acted like those swats actually hurt.   The plot eludes me, but I think the pool boy did it. :smile: Unfortunately there's no way to attend Every event. And it had to eventually end :anguished: Until 2022! (edited)   One last thing since I've started. Want to thank the people that stopped by to chat, and Especially the guy that got over my knee that last night. My short red paddle I can slip in my back pocket was an afterthought; it sure came in handy (and you took it so well). I thought 12:30am - 2am monitor duty at the hosp. desk would be boring. I brought a book but didn't read a bit. (David, yeah I'll get back into it...I have to find out what a "Taltos" is and why my ptbf keeps comparing me to one). Now the bad (well not really bad).  Friday was pretty...meh.  No one seemed to be playing outside or in the dungeon.  It seemed everyone had retreated into their rooms.  There was probably a lot of private 1 on 1 play going on.  But that seemed to be over Saturday morning.  I'm not sure why.  Part of it could have been preception instead of reality.  Maybe because my Wed & Thurs were full of spankings given, and I had a full plate during the day, the evening was a letdown.  (That morning, I went on the walk with Dave, breakfast on site, then I had dungeon monitor duty (gave my relief 12 swats with a paddle for being 12 minutes late...lol), Then I went to set up spank monopoly at 3:30-5.  I ended up not playing myself because 1) I didn't like some of the rules, 2) they already had enough people and 3) I was more interested in the spank poker game, which I did participate in.  Then, according to the schedule, we had a Bad Ass pledge class meeting from 7:30-8:30pm. But things seemed dull that evening, with no one or very few out in the dungeon or elsewhere. So by Friday night 9pm or so (early for me), I was in my room wondering why I came and if I should call it an event and cut out early.  Of course I had a shift Sunday morning 12:30 to 2am, but someone else could cover that.  But then I don't like cutting out on work I've promised to do, even if it is trivial.  Also, I'd had a terrific Wednesday & Thursday, so maybe Saturday would be great too (it turned out that it was).   Part of that was the BAW hell week / pledge events, which I volunteered at a Frat Brother as an afterthought.  (Funny, that's twice something I just added on as an afterthought turned out to really save the day for me, the other being bringing the short red paddle with me to my monitor duty Sunday morning).    
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by on September 29, 2021
A warning about pants and briefs at ankles!   Well fellow boys, I have to confess that my dad and hubby always takes down my pants and undies himself, baring my bottom for punishment.  I do actually prefer it that way, and in a crazy sort of way, it makes me feel a little ‘pampered’.  I suppose as he really is my ‘authority’ figure I allow myself to be prepared for the consequences as he sees fit.   So last night, there he was bending down into the bed room closet, and of course instinct took over, there in front mf my very eyes were his bottom stretched nice and tightly and my hand got itchy.  I swung it as hard as I could and it landed with a very satisfying slap.   As my hand landed and I heard that wonderful slap, I knew right away I was in big trouble, but of course there is no going back, the deed had been done.  Normally I am taken to the spanking chair, bottom bared and then over the knee I go but he decided to take down my pants and undies right there and then.  As he took me by my ear to lead me to the chair, I tripped on the pants and undies that were tangled around my ankles and fell pretty hard.   After a lot of fussing, and about ½ hour later when he was satisfied that no damage had been done, I got my bottom tanned and sat in the corner for a while.  Afterwards he told me that from now on, my pants and underwear would be completely removed for all future spankings, and that he would still be stripping me down himself.    It is something to think about, I could have for example tripped and fallen on to the corner of the table hitting my head.  So, beware and be careful if you find yourself in a similar situation.   And to those Dad’s and Tops that are about to say something like ‘Well if you had behaved it would never have happened’ – well for sure you are correct, but I stick my tongue out to you and blow a raspberry!   Hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss   James
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by on September 13, 2021
Guys, It has taken me a few days to make this post, mainly because I am still actually working on the site. What we have successfully completed is to fix our server faults and to upgrade to the latest version of our current script with a fresh database. We are not finished and we will be upgrading to social engine. I would like to explain a little about performance.  In the coming days / weeks, I will be focusing on it, so that we get to a point where speed and performance is acceptable, that is as far as it goes.  After that I will be working on the social engine migration. Site performance is determined by a number of factors, these include the hardware, operation system, web server, database driver, cache manager and of course at the application level.  In order to get these perfect, would require some intervention from a seasoned professional, as there are literally hundreds of variables involved.  In our case we have Centos 8 - LiteSpeed WebServer - MariaDB - PHP 7.4 -  Redis - Phpfox (as you can see a lot of possible variables) I can do a lot of it but by no means all of it.  One of the things that really helps with a sites speed and performance is a cache plugin and there are a number of these available for Social Engine and WordPress, however nothing for our script, PhpFox. The Social Engine migration will run along side our current script, and no down time will be required until we are fully tested and ready to move.  That is an important feat, and largely due to what we have achieved recently. When we get that move over to Social Engine, I promise you – performance issues will be a thing of the past and mobile and tablet versions of the site will run exceptionally well.  If we want to attract new members and especially younger ones, we need it all to work. I appreciate your patience, and I know I have not delved into a whole lot in this post, but I am hoping to give you some insight on the direction I am moving.  All I can do is ask for your continued support, understanding and patience.    James
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by on August 21, 2021
Polonius to Laertes: Fatherly advice to a flake (and since I'm weak, it includes one last chance, a FAT chance no doubt) Son, I don’t usually address the “boys” I try to work with to get them what they say they need, good hard spanking, as “son.” But in your case, since I’m easily old enough to be your father and since we seem to have evolved into a sort of nag/nagee relationship, I’m indulging. I don’t like that part of it any more than you do. This is a long letter. I hope you will read it, but, obviously, that’s your choice. So, listen, son. I hardly know you. Never seen your face. But I’ve interacted with you quite a lot, so I’m gonna tell you what I perceive and you can either take it in or not. First off, I’m done with the back and forth. Don’t bother to e mail me with “What time are you available next week?,” or anything like that, because that’s gone nowhere for over 20 attempts at an encounter and I’m not doing that anymore. But the reason I’ve been fairly patient with you is I sense that you are a sweet guy, maybe a little vulnerable, looking for some literal tough love but basically just want to be happy and fulfilled like everybody else. And even though I don’t really know you, I want that for you, too. We don’t really get a huge deal out of spanking younger guys, believe it or not. It’s fun, it energizes us, we like the encounters and getting to know guys who are out there looking for happiness and need a literal whack in the butt now and then. We do this for them. You may be skeptical of that, but it’s true. Straight or gay, doesn’t really matter. In my experience, men who need to get spanked often end up seeking out other men because women mostly either aren’t interested or just aren’t that good at it. They spank too hard or not hard enough, timing wrong, or, worst of all, they laugh at you. It’s funny to them. Some men do that, too, and I kind of hate it, but somehow from a man it’s different. Anyway, there are exceptions. There are guys who find women to spank them and it’s a perfect match. So, I’ll say this: whoever is your perfect match, who will take you in hand, pants down, and spank you till your butt is smokin’ crimson (which you clearly need), I hope you find them. And I hope you find fulfillment, success, and happiness on all levels. You deserve it. You’re obviously smart, affectionate, engaging. I suspect you’re adorable in the right context. One little piece of fatherly advice you may not need, but I’ll give it anyway. Don’t think this need is going to go away, or that you can treat it totally casually like it doesn’t matter. It’s part of who you are. You wouldn’t have kept up a dialog with me for over a year if that weren’t true. Please believe me when I tell you this. You need to come to terms with this, face it and find your way into it so that you are fulfilled and getting what you want and need out of it. You need to give that a certain level of priority so that it actually happens in your life. And that brings me to my other fatherly advice. Son, you need to start treating other people with more respect for their time. In every encounter, in business, in your personal life, every encounter… take a few seconds to picture how it looks from their side. Are you respecting their time? Treating them as you would like to be treated? Taking them seriously? Or do you seem to be only concerned with what you want? Do you ignore what they ask of you and focus on your goal? Because people see that, and they feel used and dismissed. I suspect you don’t even realize you are doing this, but, I’m telling you for your own good: you are. You will be happier, more fulfilled, and more successful, on all levels, if you take what I just said seriously and try to apply it to your life. I know I sound holier than thou, and I’ve probably been worse than you are right now for a lot of my life in exactly these respects, but I’ve learned this. The hard way. Focus your attention on others’ needs and what they want, and then act in the awareness both of what you want and they want, and you will almost magically achieve things that have been hard for you to work out. And a damn good spanking wouldn’t hurt either. LOL. OK, I will end my sermon now and tell you how it is. I meant it when I said I hope you find what you want, including in this special need we both understand that most people just don’t have. It’s not insurmountable, or a curse. Just the opposite, as people say these days, it’s a superpower. It’s socially unacceptable, so you have to be discreet, but it’s perfectly doable, and you can make it work to keep you in line, keep your emotional and physical tone in the right place, and, well, I think you know: if you’re into it, there simply is no greater turn on. That’s what kinks really are: highly focused maximum turn-ons, that people find out at some point in their life is really there, and not going away. It’s not purely sexual, but it carries over into whatever other erotic activity you engage in and intensifies it and makes it so much better. So. I expect nothing from you. Maybe you didn’t even read all of this. People don’t like to be lectured. But if you did, here’s how it’s gotta be. I imagine I will not hear from you again, but if you really want to break through the crap and get together, after all, there is only one way that’s gonna happen. You have to propose an encounter. Day and time. And convince me you will really show up. One last chance. My husband will likely be there, but possibly not, you have to take that as part of the deal. If you do show up, you can expect a really hard spanking that will leave you red and sore for a couple of days. Because that’s what you really need right now; believe me, I can tell. Like I said, I don’t expect anything. But those are the terms, so you decide. In any case, best of luck to you, in all sincerity. I mean it when I say I hope you are fulfilled and happy in your life, whether it includes any further encounter with me or not.  ~David
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by on August 21, 2021
‘You’re getting the hairbrush and corner time’     OR ‘Time for the strap son, now go wait in the corner’   OR ‘Fetch the paddle NOW’   Come on Dads!   Why can’t we boys pick our own punishment, why can’t it be:   ‘Do you want the paddle or my hand ‘  OR ‘Do you need some corner time’      OR ‘Do you deserve punishment’    OR ‘hugs or spanking Son’   See .. we could pick!
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by on August 2, 2021
Okay guys, I have completed the final phase of testing on our test site.   What I have done is essentially replicated the entire script, with the latest version and a fresh database.  At present the data is correct and it functions as expected.   Videos are uploading perfectly and groups are also working.  Also, the videos will now play in full mode as they should from both the feed and the actual menu option.   I am getting ready to do the final import, at sometime today or tomorrow.   We are stripping out a lot of blocks and modules that frankly we just do not need and this will help with overall performance.   I kicked up a fuss with the script author over several modules that we purchased and are no longer compatible, the resolution is that they have given us access to the mobile application that can be downloaded from both Google Play and the Apple Stores.  This will be configured once we export over and the site is up to speed with no problems.  I will post more about this, but essentially it will help a lot for those members that prefer using mobile devices.  Desktop users will not notice and difference.   I have also upgraded our license for our chat bar (not the one presently in use), this will give us full download access to the latest version and both audio and video chat capabilities.  In order to reduce overhead on the server we will be using their push notification service.  The installation will require the chat bar authors technical support and again on completion of the export, I will raise a ticket to get everything installed correctly.  This will be free of charge for us.   We will now be running with two servers and a VPS.  The main server, as well as a backup server which will have replication setup, the backup server will also act as content delivery network or CDN, which will be next on the list for configuration.  The VPS is going to be used for research and development and aid with out move eventually to social engine.   So, hope some of this makes sense, and now of course is the time to put it all together.  I will setup an announcement as soon as I have decided which day and what time.  While the refresh of the main server and data export is taking place, the site will be unavailable for several hours.   Thanking everyone for their continued support and patience.
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