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In this guide, I compile some of my personnel ideas (meaning not everyone may agree) on how to be a good spanker that efficiently meets nice spankee and slowly but surely build a network of spanking friends. I am quite sure this is not perfect because it is the first shot, but here we go ! I The starter kit: The very basic things that you need to know and have I.1 Know what you like and what you want The first things that any spanker should know or ask himself is : "What do I like about spanking ?". This is an important question because you will need to know that in order to set up your profile, and it will determine whether or not it might be a match with people that you could meet. There are many reasons why you may want to be a spanker. This includes: It is a deep rooted kink and you see yourself on the giving end. You have been on the receiving end and want to switch sides. You have a thing for the ritualistic aspect of spanking and punishment. You replay somekind of scene from your past that includes spanking. You have a spanking kink and enjoy being the one that turns other guys spanking fantasies into reality. You genuinly see yourself as a coach or mentor that can apply some strict discipline to errand lads in need of your assistance. You enjoy spanking as a sex foreplay, or as part of a broader BDSM scene, etc. There are many more, all valid reasons, which you can even combine. Having a good knowledge of which types of spanking scenes you like, and also don't like, will be useful to set up your profile and describe what kind of spanking sessions you can propose. I.2 Time and location are of the essence Let's start with location as this is perhaps the most basic requirement for a spanking meeting : it needs to happen somewhere. As such, living in a big cities and close to public transportations will be a great advantage compared to living in more remote areas. If you are in the latter case, you will need to be ready to move around a bit, or accept to welcome people into your home for longer periods of time (more about this later). Regarding the accomodation itself, while this is not mandatory, it is usually the spanker that should host any spanking meeting. Hosting a spanking at your place will always be more comfortable and will give you a psychological ascendant that is always a bonus in a spanker-spankee relationship. Your house should be clean and welcoming. An exception to this, is when you are travelling to another city far from your home. Then, using your hotel room, a B&B, or visiting your spankee at his place is perfectly acceptable. Does that mean that you can't be a good spanker if you can't host spanking at your place ? Not quite, but it is a problem if you can never host. The alternatives have been discussed already: Taking a hotel room. If you do so, avoid the cheapest ones that can really set up a creepy atmosphere. And you should also know, that to some spankees, hotel rooms and love hotels will be a turn off, and a deal breaker. Go spank your spankee at their place if they can host (which is not always the case). Besides from the loose of psychological power and the fact that you may quickly get bored when you put them in the corner, there is no real downside to it. Let's talk time now. Obviously you will need to find the time to meet people, whether it is to invite them at your place, or to travel to them. If you are only available on the 6th of each month between 1pm and 2pm, then between 5:30pm and 6pm, and only on full moon days, you will never meet anyone. You don't need to be available all the time, but you need to have a somewhat stable schedule and to know about it at least a few days in advance. Another thing that you need to know about time and availability is that not all spankings can be scheduled X weeks/monts in advance. For some spankees, the spanking need is a pulsion that comes and go. And when it comes, it needs to be dealt with quickly (as in within the next 2-3 days maximum). So don't plan on scheduling too long in advance with these guys. For others that are always in need of a good spanking, or like to build anticipation, as well as for coaching relationships, scheduling a long time in advance is easier. A last comment about time and location. As a rule of thumb, neither you nor your spankee should spend more time traveling to a session than the lenght of the session itself: You can be a great spanker, if your spankee needs to spend 3h in a train for a 30min session, he will stop coming at some point. Do not spend 4h and a ton of money in a plane/train travel in the hope of meeting a single spankee in a far away city. If you travel specifically for spanking purposes, you should book as many guys as you can because most of them will flake. Even better, if you can, do not travel just for spanking activities: it is better to travel for work, or to meet family and friend, and if some spanking meetings can happen, well it is a bonus ! I.3 Basics of spanking The last thing you need in your starter kit is to know how to spank in a safe and sane setting. This includes: Some basic butt anatomic knowledge to know where to spank and where not to spank. But also some basic sense of body language reading to know where your spankee is in term of mindspace and pain scale. Having a knowledge of BDSM elements such as SSC (safe sane and consensual) and RACK (risk aware consensual kink) is -in my opinion- mandatory. You should also know what "aftercare" is, and learn how to do it properly. This can make the difference between you being a spanker/dad/dom versus being a violent assh0le. Know how to use your hand, and have some of the basic implements that can be found at very low price and present little risks for beginners. The first part about where to spank should be relatively easy. Watch videos, see what other spanker do, and follow this schematic if you are still lost: The second part about reading body langage and knowing where your spankee is in his mindset requires more experience. And I am not going to lie : guys that have been spanked are going to be a lot better at it than any beginner spanker that has never been spanked before. Indeed, beyond the pain that might be inflicted by hand or using implements, spanking is a lot in the head and includes many elements such as humiliation, frustration, regression and abandonment that are quite difficult to understand and to read when one has never experienced them. Regarding the implements. I know for a fact that many beginner doms are overwhelmed and impressed when they see other spankers having tables fully covered with various implements that all look stingy and expensive when you look them up in the internet. I have two things to say about this One, in most cases at least 80% of these implements are crap that is rarely or never used. And two, if you want to be any good at spanking, your hand is your best weapon of choice ! The first spankings you give as a spanker should be mostly hand spankings: your spankee's butt should hurt more than your hand, and this requires training ! At first you might get some blisters and even bleedings. Slow down, keep training and it will improve with time. But you should know that your hand's skin will become less soft ! If you must invest in implements, aim for cheap but safe ones first: Brushes are inexpensive and can be found in any store. Don't buy online, go to the store and feel the wood ! Ping-pong paddles, flip-flops, wood rulers, slippers. If your country has a "national spanking implement", you may want to consider buying one : canes in the UK as well as in many commonwealth countries, a tawse in Scotland, a paddle in the USA and Canada, or a martinet in France. A word of caution on belts: While they are a common implement that is easy to find and can be found in a wide range of prices, it is not a beginner friendly implement ! If you want to use one, the buckle should ALWAYS be in your hand and never used to whip, start with very slow blows and a belt folded one or two times. Lashes shouldn't land anywhere else than the meaty part of the butt. And never apply a hard belting -especially if you don't know what you are doing- on a spankee that moves a lot ! II Setting up a profile that attracts people I am aware that there are many websites and apps to meet potential spankee and where you can set up a profile. This section aims at being generic, but you may need to adapt depending on the website you use most to meet people. II.1 Introducing yourself Your profile is often going to be the first contact that a potential spankee will have with you (and maybe the only one). Therefore, it needs to be as complete and attractive as possible. Furthermore, keep in mind that there are usually more spankers than spankees in a given place, so you will need to have a profile as good if not better than the other guys profiles. The key element of any profile that we will discuss in this section is your profile description, which is usually a few lines long (depending on the website), and is the best place to introduce yourself. If it is empty (or mostly empty), or if it isn't attractive, chances are you will struggle to meet anyone. The basic information that any profile description should contain (if they are not already displayed in other fields): Your location Who you are : your age, a basic physical description (height, weight, body type), and your experience if possible A description of what you like and what you are looking for (see I.1) Who you are looking for : age range, body type, are you straight friendly or not, etc. Any hard limits that you have (if there is space left): e.g. not into scenarios, no blood, no sex, etc. A few pitfalls to avoid in your profile description: Having a description that is very specific about what you want to do to your potential spankees, but says nothing about you or who you want to meet. It will mostly attract wankers, but you will never meet them. Example: "I will pull your pants down and spank you very hard on your bare bottom like a little boy. Then, you will go to the corner with your red butt for everyone to see, and you will wait for me to come trash your ass with my very large leather belt !" Having a description that makes you sound like a dead German philosopher. This is cool if you want to meet only people with at least 5 years of higher education, but everyone else will flee in terror. Example: "Spanking is a wonderful voyage where physical pain meets the spiritual extasy of endorphins and shame, all colliding together until your body and mind submit to the punishment, and at last you will know peace." Having a description that says nothing. Example: "Hello, I am Patrick, I am a 38yo writter. I like all sorts of boys. So, I want to meet like-minded guys that share my spanking interest and are staying nearby." Copy-pasting the description of another spanker of switch (partly or everything). You don't want people to believe that you have no personnality, or worst that you are a catfish. Eventually, depending on who contacts you and your success rate, you will figure out what is wrong with your description. Does it give too many details ? Not enough ? Is it missing something ? It will all come together. II.2 Posting pictures on your profile Whenever it is possible, it is usually a good thing to have pictures on your profile as it is a good way to show others what you like, and what you do. Your profile picture is perhaps the only picture that you will have to decide on nearly all applications and meeting websites. So pick wisely. It can be a face picture, a picture of your hand, a picture of an implement, one of your spanking picture, a drawing, or a spanking picture you like. My advice on profile picture would be that it is important to have one. Anything with even a few information about you is better than nothing. Then, you have the other pictures (think pictures albums in spankthishookups, or the pictures you share here on southspanking). These pictures are very important because they will tell A LOT about what you like, sometimes even more than your description ! If you post a lot of corner time pictures, it will emplies that you enjoy doing it. Lots of pictures with canes, you are a cane user ! Mostly badly bruised asses, then you like to give it hard ! Spanked asses with a zoom on butt holes, you might not be "straight guy friendly" ! You get the idea. And this is true even if the pictures you use are not your own. This leads us to two other points : What to do if you have very few or no pictures of your own ? And how to carefully choosing the captions with your pictures. If you don't have your own spanking pictures (or if they are not great), there is always the possibility of having pictures of implements that you like. A picture of your hand, or your knees. A shot of your chair with a belt carefully placed on the side. Use your imagination, and with the right captions, you can probably make pictures that will reflect on what you like. Alternatively, you can also use pictures from studios or from other spankos, but don't forget to credit them ! You may also put them in an album called "My method from web pictures", or "things I like". The worst thing that you can do when using others pictures, is not crediting and claiming them as your own, and their is a bonus if you add a dumb caption below explaining how YOU spanked this guy so hard. Since we are on the topic of captions, it is one of these rare case where no caption is better than a bad caption. A picture alone is relatively open to interpretation depending on whom sees it. On the other hand, if you add a caption, then the picture becomes what you say it is. "I spanked this little slut until he begged, and only then i let him suck my dick" is a good example of a bad caption that ruins the mood with this picture. Remember that you will attract people that can identify with what you post. And alternatively, you will repell people for which what you post is beyond their limits or not to their taste. And it will happen even before you can exchange a single message ! My advice is: unless you are almost exclusively into practices that you know are non-consensual or divisive : try to stay neutral and consensual with the pictures you post and their captions. III Getting in touch with spankees III.1 Contacting first or letting them contact you ? This is a difficult question and it will depend on how well you are established, and the number of potential spankees around you. That being said, no matter your experience, it costs you nothing to send a message to a new comer or a spankee you are interested in. The rules to do so are simple: read his profile, and if you don't see anything obvious that suggests that you may not be a match, send a message. The message should be polite, and if you are not inspired, it can be an extended version of your profile description with the needed adaptations to what the lad you are interested in seems to be into. You may also add to your message some potential availability and a more specific location than in your profile. As you may not get a second chance, take your time to write it and proof-read it. If you are established enough (you already have a good reputation -even as a spankee-, a pool of spankees, and a profile that works), you can wait for people to message you. But you should know that you will get less hits and not necessarily the ones you are the most interested in. Waiting is also a good option if you have only little availability. III.2 Know when to stop messaging It can be frustrating to send messages and get no answer at all. And even more to exchange a few messages and then no more answers without any warning, or even : the guy blocks you for no obvious reason. Even if it can seem quite rude to you, there are probably reasons behind it: With a new comer that is in his 20s: it is likely that every single spanker in the area sent him a message at the same time as you did. That's a lot of messages. Yours didn't make it. Try again in a week or two if you sees that his profile is still active. He is part of these guys with a beginner profile since 5 years: It's not you, they never answer any messages. There is no profile picture, the age in the description is 2 years behind the profile age. No need to try to reach them again, it is a waste of time. You exchanged a few messages. He asked you how you wanted to spank him. You explained with many details. And then he stops answering. Most likely he had a great time in front of his screen reading about your spanking scenario, he jerked off and doesn't need you anymore. It is nothing personnal, he wasn't ready. Try again in a few months. In any case, unless it is with a regular, if a guy doesn't answer you after 2-3 messages while his account seems to be active or if you know that he did receive your messages; it means that he is not interested. So, stop messaging. You don't want to be that sticky guy that sends messages every days. IV Improve your skills and grow your network IV.1 Invest and improve your skills With time and if all goes well, you should get at least one, or a few regular spankees. Having regular is a good opportunity to improve your skills both with implements, but also on the psychological side of spanking. As they learn to trust you, your regulars will be more open about what they like or not during their sessions with you. Take the time to listen and learn ! Remember that -unlike what some morons think- spanking as any BDSM activities is mostly about what the sub/spankee needs and enjoy. Your spankees will also open up more about their deeper spanking desires, and most likely will be willing or even asking for harder sessions. Use this to progress with your skills and explore new things with them. Speaking of harder sessions, if you did not already, you should learn how to do a proper aftercare. Basically, you don't make a guy cry or push him beyond his limits and push him out of your flat in 5min right after the spanking is over. The more you push, the more you should spend time soothing them and taking care of them after the spanking is over. Soothing cream, warm blankets, hugs, massages, hot cocoa and cookies might prove useful. It is also curtuous to ask if everything is well 24 to 48h after the session: mental breakdowns can happen even after they have left your place. And knowing if the eventual bruises are healing well is an important information. Keep in mind that in your learning process you will make mistakes, and not everything will work for both parties. But this is a good thing, because you will know what not to do next time to make your sessions better. As time passes and you meet more people, you can also surely but surely invest into new spanking implements. I usually suggest not to invest into anything expensive unless you have lots of requests for it from locals spankees, or if the request comes from a regular. I also suggest to put the price rather than buying a crappy toy that makes a lot of noise, doesn't hurt much, and will be destroyed after only a few slaps. For my good toys, I personally like https://www.cane-iac.com/ , but I know they can be expensive! IV.2 Respect the limits: your spankees' limits, but also yours I mentionned a few times the importance of safe, sane and consensual meetings when it comes to spanking, as well as the need to be careful when searching for profiles that match your needs. Nevertheless I will insist that one of the key to becoming a successful spanker is to respect the limits of the people you will meet ! A spanker or dom that consider that he does what he wants to a sub/spankee is a bad dom/spanker, this is wrong, can lead to pursuit, and at least will give you a very bad reputation. I will push things further by saying that a good spanker/dom should insist that his potential spankee/sub gives him some hard limits. A spankee/sub that doesn't know or doesn't have any limits is a disaster waiting to happen and you should avoid meeting him. Limits to ask for include: Sex or no sex. This one should always be discussed before any meeting. And yes, a surprise finger in the butt counts as sex, and can be very much unwanted even if your spankee is gay ! Severity of the bruises, especially if the guy tells you he is partnered. And it is your role to know how to handle your implements, and to stop (or abort the session early) before crossing any fixed limit Pain : do we remain soft, do we push you to your pain limit ? a bit beyond your limit ? do we turn you into a crying mess ? A word of advice : don't cross their pain limit if you are not great with aftercare. Nudity and physical contact: some straight lads are very strict about this. Drawing blood: Sanitize your implements well if you do it. (you should sanitize them anyway, but even more carefully if you draw blood). There is no such thing as a spankee with too many limits. If he has too many limits to your taste, then don't meet him. And finally, you may ask for some limits to be pushed -slowly-, but it is best to do it only with spankees you already know, and if they say no, then you should respect their refusal. We have discuss a lot the limits of potential people you will meet, but you should also consider yours. A common issue of beginner to mid-experienced spanker is that they tend to accept any spankee so long as he is young and has a very cute butt, even though said good-looking spankees are asking for something very far from the spanker interests. It is sometimes difficult, but you should no to refuse a cute spankee if what he asks doesn't match with what you are looking for. If you still meet regardless of the poorly matching profile, either or both of you may end up being dissapointed with the session. Please note that the same can happen when you get lots of demands: follow your guts and refuse meeting that yhou know deep down will not work. Less meetings is better than lots of bad ones. IV.3 Networking and reputation As they will gain momentum, your network and your reputation will be your main tools to meet new lads, some of which might not have accepted to meet you before. A spankeed satisfied with your session is your best ambassador ! Do not hesitate to ask your regulars if it is okay to use them as references for guys that are hesitant to meet you. Treat them with respect, and always ask their permission to post their pictures or videos on your profile : it is their butt that is going to be on the internet for tghe world to see, not yours ! Their spanked ass will be your visit card, so you must be grateful to them, and respect their wishes if they want some picture or caption to be changed or removed at any point. Treating your network well is part of growing your reputation, and it takes only a few disgrunted spankees to ruin years of hard work building your reputation. So be extra cautious and on your toes about this. What about other spankers in your areas ? Well, you should also try your best to maintain neutral to good relation with them ! First, it takes several spankees and spankers to organize spanking parties.  Other spankers are also a good source of information to know which lads are flakes, who is a wanker, and even to share information about what works or not about spankees you have in common (with their consent, always). Furthermore, as we mentionned in section I, everyone has different tastes and availability. In other words, you can send them spankees that are not a match for you, and you may expect them to do the same. Petty jealousy with another spanker "because he gets all the spankees", or "because he spanked X last week so now he can't meet with me", or "because he has a more intimate/different relationship with Y" is generally a bad idea. Very few spankees are exclusive, so their is a good chance that you will have your turn if you are a good match too. Asking a spankee to choose between 2 spankers he likes is also a bad idea because even if he chooses you, your relationship will be damaged. In the same vein, a bit of teasing between spankers is okay, but blattant and free provocation between spankers should be avoided: any spankees involved will notice and it won't look good. It is even worst if other members of the community notice, and too much teasing will make you the bad guy, which can also damage your reputation. Lastly, slandering or speaking ill of another spanker should be avoided: at some point someone will notice that it was a lie, most likely his network of spankos will speak out, and it won't do you any good. The only situations where it is acceptable to warn other members of the community about a spanker and to give him a bad reputation include: You know for a fact that he doesn't respect consent and has broken hard limits about sex, bruises or drawing blood. in other words, he is violent and or dangerous. Even in this case, you should rather push spankees that were the victims to speak out first. Minors are involved.

In this guide, I compile some of my personnel ideas (meaning not everyone may agree) on how to be a good spanker that efficiently meets nice spankee and slowly but surely build a network of spanking friends. I am quite sure this is not perfect because it is the first shot, but here we go ! I The starter kit: The very basic things that you need to know and have I.1 Know what you like and what you want The first things that any spanker should know or ask himself is : "What do I like about spanking ?". This is an important question because you will need to know that in order to set up your profile, and it will determine whether or not it might be a match with people that you could meet. There are many reasons why you may want to be a spanker. This includes: It is a deep rooted kink and you see yourself on the giving end. You have been on the receiving end and want to switch sides. You have a thing for the ritualistic aspect of spanking and punishment. You replay somekind of scene from your past that includes spanking. You have a spanking kink and enjoy being the one that turns other guys spanking fantasies into reality. You genuinly see yourself as a coach or mentor that can apply some strict discipline to errand lads in need of your assistance. You enjoy spanking as a sex foreplay, or as part of a broader BDSM scene, etc. There are many more, all valid reasons, which you can even combine. Having a good knowledge of which types of spanking scenes you like, and also don't like, will be useful to set up your profile and describe what kind of spanking sessions you can propose. I.2 Time and location are of the essence Let's start with location as this is perhaps the most basic requirement for a spanking meeting : it needs to happen somewhere. As such, living in a big cities and close to public transportations will be a great advantage compared to living in more remote areas. If you are in the latter case, you will need to be ready to move around a bit, or accept to welcome people into your home for longer periods of time (more about this later). Regarding the accomodation itself, while this is not mandatory, it is usually the spanker that should host any spanking meeting. Hosting a spanking at your place will always be more comfortable and will give you a psychological ascendant that is always a bonus in a spanker-spankee relationship. Your house should be clean and welcoming. An exception to this, is when you are travelling to another city far from your home. Then, using your hotel room, a B&B, or visiting your spankee at his place is perfectly acceptable. Does that mean that you can't be a good spanker if you can't host spanking at your place ? Not quite, but it is a problem if you can never host. The alternatives have been discussed already: Taking a hotel room. If you do so, avoid the cheapest ones that can really set up a creepy atmosphere. And you should also know, that to some spankees, hotel rooms and love hotels will be a turn off, and a deal breaker. Go spank your spankee at their place if they can host (which is not always the case). Besides from the loose of psychological power and the fact that you may quickly get bored when you put them in the corner, there is no real downside to it. Let's talk time now. Obviously you will need to find the time to meet people, whether it is to invite them at your place, or to travel to them. If you are only available on the 6th of each month between 1pm and 2pm, then between 5:30pm and 6pm, and only on full moon days, you will never meet anyone. You don't need to be available all the time, but you need to have a somewhat stable schedule and to know about it at least a few days in advance. Another thing that you need to know about time and availability is that not all spankings can be scheduled X weeks/monts in advance. For some spankees, the spanking need is a pulsion that comes and go. And when it comes, it needs to be dealt with quickly (as in within the next 2-3 days maximum). So don't plan on scheduling too long in advance with these guys. For others that are always in need of a good spanking, or like to build anticipation, as well as for coaching relationships, scheduling a long time in advance is easier. A last comment about time and location. As a rule of thumb, neither you nor your spankee should spend more time traveling to a session than the lenght of the session itself: You can be a great spanker, if your spankee needs to spend 3h in a train for a 30min session, he will stop coming at some point. Do not spend 4h and a ton of money in a plane/train travel in the hope of meeting a single spankee in a far away city. If you travel specifically for spanking purposes, you should book as many guys as you can because most of them will flake. Even better, if you can, do not travel just for spanking activities: it is better to travel for work, or to meet family and friend, and if some spanking meetings can happen, well it is a bonus ! I.3 Basics of spanking The last thing you need in your starter kit is to know how to spank in a safe and sane setting. This includes: Some basic butt anatomic knowledge to know where to spank and where not to spank. But also some basic sense of body language reading to know where your spankee is in term of mindspace and pain scale. Having a knowledge of BDSM elements such as SSC (safe sane and consensual) and RACK (risk aware consensual kink) is -in my opinion- mandatory. You should also know what "aftercare" is, and learn how to do it properly. This can make the difference between you being a spanker/dad/dom versus being a violent assh0le. Know how to use your hand, and have some of the basic implements that can be found at very low price and present little risks for beginners. The first part about where to spank should be relatively easy. Watch videos, see what other spanker do, and follow this schematic if you are still lost: The second part about reading body langage and knowing where your spankee is in his mindset requires more experience. And I am not going to lie : guys that have been spanked are going to be a lot better at it than any beginner spanker that has never been spanked before. Indeed, beyond the pain that might be inflicted by hand or using implements, spanking is a lot in the head and includes many elements such as humiliation, frustration, regression and abandonment that are quite difficult to understand and to read when one has never experienced them. Regarding the implements. I know for a fact that many beginner doms are overwhelmed and impressed when they see other spankers having tables fully covered with various implements that all look stingy and expensive when you look them up in the internet. I have two things to say about this One, in most cases at least 80% of these implements are crap that is rarely or never used. And two, if you want to be any good at spanking, your hand is your best weapon of choice ! The first spankings you give as a spanker should be mostly hand spankings: your spankee's butt should hurt more than your hand, and this requires training ! At first you might get some blisters and even bleedings. Slow down, keep training and it will improve with time. But you should know that your hand's skin will become less soft ! If you must invest in implements, aim for cheap but safe ones first: Brushes are inexpensive and can be found in any store. Don't buy online, go to the store and feel the wood ! Ping-pong paddles, flip-flops, wood rulers, slippers. If your country has a "national spanking implement", you may want to consider buying one : canes in the UK as well as in many commonwealth countries, a tawse in Scotland, a paddle in the USA and Canada, or a martinet in France. A word of caution on belts: While they are a common implement that is easy to find and can be found in a wide range of prices, it is not a beginner friendly implement ! If you want to use one, the buckle should ALWAYS be in your hand and never used to whip, start with very slow blows and a belt folded one or two times. Lashes shouldn't land anywhere else than the meaty part of the butt. And never apply a hard belting -especially if you don't know what you are doing- on a spankee that moves a lot ! II Setting up a profile that attracts people I am aware that there are many websites and apps to meet potential spankee and where you can set up a profile. This section aims at being generic, but you may need to adapt depending on the website you use most to meet people. II.1 Introducing yourself Your profile is often going to be the first contact that a potential spankee will have with you (and maybe the only one). Therefore, it needs to be as complete and attractive as possible. Furthermore, keep in mind that there are usually more spankers than spankees in a given place, so you will need to have a profile as good if not better than the other guys profiles. The key element of any profile that we will discuss in this section is your profile description, which is usually a few lines long (depending on the website), and is the best place to introduce yourself. If it is empty (or mostly empty), or if it isn't attractive, chances are you will struggle to meet anyone. The basic information that any profile description should contain (if they are not already displayed in other fields): Your location Who you are : your age, a basic physical description (height, weight, body type), and your experience if possible A description of what you like and what you are looking for (see I.1) Who you are looking for : age range, body type, are you straight friendly or not, etc. Any hard limits that you have (if there is space left): e.g. not into scenarios, no blood, no sex, etc. A few pitfalls to avoid in your profile description: Having a description that is very specific about what you want to do to your potential spankees, but says nothing about you or who you want to meet. It will mostly attract wankers, but you will never meet them. Example: "I will pull your pants down and spank you very hard on your bare bottom like a little boy. Then, you will go to the corner with your red butt for everyone to see, and you will wait for me to come trash your ass with my very large leather belt !" Having a description that makes you sound like a dead German philosopher. This is cool if you want to meet only people with at least 5 years of higher education, but everyone else will flee in terror. Example: "Spanking is a wonderful voyage where physical pain meets the spiritual extasy of endorphins and shame, all colliding together until your body and mind submit to the punishment, and at last you will know peace." Having a description that says nothing. Example: "Hello, I am Patrick, I am a 38yo writter. I like all sorts of boys. So, I want to meet like-minded guys that share my spanking interest and are staying nearby." Copy-pasting the description of another spanker of switch (partly or everything). You don't want people to believe that you have no personnality, or worst that you are a catfish. Eventually, depending on who contacts you and your success rate, you will figure out what is wrong with your description. Does it give too many details ? Not enough ? Is it missing something ? It will all come together. II.2 Posting pictures on your profile Whenever it is possible, it is usually a good thing to have pictures on your profile as it is a good way to show others what you like, and what you do. Your profile picture is perhaps the only picture that you will have to decide on nearly all applications and meeting websites. So pick wisely. It can be a face picture, a picture of your hand, a picture of an implement, one of your spanking picture, a drawing, or a spanking picture you like. My advice on profile picture would be that it is important to have one. Anything with even a few information about you is better than nothing. Then, you have the other pictures (think pictures albums in spankthishookups, or the pictures you share here on southspanking). These pictures are very important because they will tell A LOT about what you like, sometimes even more than your description ! If you post a lot of corner time pictures, it will emplies that you enjoy doing it. Lots of pictures with canes, you are a cane user ! Mostly badly bruised asses, then you like to give it hard ! Spanked asses with a zoom on butt holes, you might not be "straight guy friendly" ! You get the idea. And this is true even if the pictures you use are not your own. This leads us to two other points : What to do if you have very few or no pictures of your own ? And how to carefully choosing the captions with your pictures. If you don't have your own spanking pictures (or if they are not great), there is always the possibility of having pictures of implements that you like. A picture of your hand, or your knees. A shot of your chair with a belt carefully placed on the side. Use your imagination, and with the right captions, you can probably make pictures that will reflect on what you like. Alternatively, you can also use pictures from studios or from other spankos, but don't forget to credit them ! You may also put them in an album called "My method from web pictures", or "things I like". The worst thing that you can do when using others pictures, is not crediting and claiming them as your own, and their is a bonus if you add a dumb caption below explaining how YOU spanked this guy so hard. Since we are on the topic of captions, it is one of these rare case where no caption is better than a bad caption. A picture alone is relatively open to interpretation depending on whom sees it. On the other hand, if you add a caption, then the picture becomes what you say it is. "I spanked this little slut until he begged, and only then i let him suck my dick" is a good example of a bad caption that ruins the mood with this picture. Remember that you will attract people that can identify with what you post. And alternatively, you will repell people for which what you post is beyond their limits or not to their taste. And it will happen even before you can exchange a single message ! My advice is: unless you are almost exclusively into practices that you know are non-consensual or divisive : try to stay neutral and consensual with the pictures you post and their captions. III Getting in touch with spankees III.1 Contacting first or letting them contact you ? This is a difficult question and it will depend on how well you are established, and the number of potential spankees around you. That being said, no matter your experience, it costs you nothing to send a message to a new comer or a spankee you are interested in. The rules to do so are simple: read his profile, and if you don't see anything obvious that suggests that you may not be a match, send a message. The message should be polite, and if you are not inspired, it can be an extended version of your profile description with the needed adaptations to what the lad you are interested in seems to be into. You may also add to your message some potential availability and a more specific location than in your profile. As you may not get a second chance, take your time to write it and proof-read it. If you are established enough (you already have a good reputation -even as a spankee-, a pool of spankees, and a profile that works), you can wait for people to message you. But you should know that you will get less hits and not necessarily the ones you are the most interested in. Waiting is also a good option if you have only little availability. III.2 Know when to stop messaging It can be frustrating to send messages and get no answer at all. And even more to exchange a few messages and then no more answers without any warning, or even : the guy blocks you for no obvious reason. Even if it can seem quite rude to you, there are probably reasons behind it: With a new comer that is in his 20s: it is likely that every single spanker in the area sent him a message at the same time as you did. That's a lot of messages. Yours didn't make it. Try again in a week or two if you sees that his profile is still active. He is part of these guys with a beginner profile since 5 years: It's not you, they never answer any messages. There is no profile picture, the age in the description is 2 years behind the profile age. No need to try to reach them again, it is a waste of time. You exchanged a few messages. He asked you how you wanted to spank him. You explained with many details. And then he stops answering. Most likely he had a great time in front of his screen reading about your spanking scenario, he jerked off and doesn't need you anymore. It is nothing personnal, he wasn't ready. Try again in a few months. In any case, unless it is with a regular, if a guy doesn't answer you after 2-3 messages while his account seems to be active or if you know that he did receive your messages; it means that he is not interested. So, stop messaging. You don't want to be that sticky guy that sends messages every days. IV Improve your skills and grow your network IV.1 Invest and improve your skills With time and if all goes well, you should get at least one, or a few regular spankees. Having regular is a good opportunity to improve your skills both with implements, but also on the psychological side of spanking. As they learn to trust you, your regulars will be more open about what they like or not during their sessions with you. Take the time to listen and learn ! Remember that -unlike what some morons think- spanking as any BDSM activities is mostly about what the sub/spankee needs and enjoy. Your spankees will also open up more about their deeper spanking desires, and most likely will be willing or even asking for harder sessions. Use this to progress with your skills and explore new things with them. Speaking of harder sessions, if you did not already, you should learn how to do a proper aftercare. Basically, you don't make a guy cry or push him beyond his limits and push him out of your flat in 5min right after the spanking is over. The more you push, the more you should spend time soothing them and taking care of them after the spanking is over. Soothing cream, warm blankets, hugs, massages, hot cocoa and cookies might prove useful. It is also curtuous to ask if everything is well 24 to 48h after the session: mental breakdowns can happen even after they have left your place. And knowing if the eventual bruises are healing well is an important information. Keep in mind that in your learning process you will make mistakes, and not everything will work for both parties. But this is a good thing, because you will know what not to do next time to make your sessions better. As time passes and you meet more people, you can also surely but surely invest into new spanking implements. I usually suggest not to invest into anything expensive unless you have lots of requests for it from locals spankees, or if the request comes from a regular. I also suggest to put the price rather than buying a crappy toy that makes a lot of noise, doesn't hurt much, and will be destroyed after only a few slaps. For my good toys, I personally like https://www.cane-iac.com/ , but I know they can be expensive! IV.2 Respect the limits: your spankees' limits, but also yours I mentionned a few times the importance of safe, sane and consensual meetings when it comes to spanking, as well as the need to be careful when searching for profiles that match your needs. Nevertheless I will insist that one of the key to becoming a successful spanker is to respect the limits of the people you will meet ! A spanker or dom that consider that he does what he wants to a sub/spankee is a bad dom/spanker, this is wrong, can lead to pursuit, and at least will give you a very bad reputation. I will push things further by saying that a good spanker/dom should insist that his potential spankee/sub gives him some hard limits. A spankee/sub that doesn't know or doesn't have any limits is a disaster waiting to happen and you should avoid meeting him. Limits to ask for include: Sex or no sex. This one should always be discussed before any meeting. And yes, a surprise finger in the butt counts as sex, and can be very much unwanted even if your spankee is gay ! Severity of the bruises, especially if the guy tells you he is partnered. And it is your role to know how to handle your implements, and to stop (or abort the session early) before crossing any fixed limit Pain : do we remain soft, do we push you to your pain limit ? a bit beyond your limit ? do we turn you into a crying mess ? A word of advice : don't cross their pain limit if you are not great with aftercare. Nudity and physical contact: some straight lads are very strict about this. Drawing blood: Sanitize your implements well if you do it. (you should sanitize them anyway, but even more carefully if you draw blood). There is no such thing as a spankee with too many limits. If he has too many limits to your taste, then don't meet him. And finally, you may ask for some limits to be pushed -slowly-, but it is best to do it only with spankees you already know, and if they say no, then you should respect their refusal. We have discuss a lot the limits of potential people you will meet, but you should also consider yours. A common issue of beginner to mid-experienced spanker is that they tend to accept any spankee so long as he is young and has a very cute butt, even though said good-looking spankees are asking for something very far from the spanker interests. It is sometimes difficult, but you should no to refuse a cute spankee if what he asks doesn't match with what you are looking for. If you still meet regardless of the poorly matching profile, either or both of you may end up being dissapointed with the session. Please note that the same can happen when you get lots of demands: follow your guts and refuse meeting that yhou know deep down will not work. Less meetings is better than lots of bad ones. IV.3 Networking and reputation As they will gain momentum, your network and your reputation will be your main tools to meet new lads, some of which might not have accepted to meet you before. A spankeed satisfied with your session is your best ambassador ! Do not hesitate to ask your regulars if it is okay to use them as references for guys that are hesitant to meet you. Treat them with respect, and always ask their permission to post their pictures or videos on your profile : it is their butt that is going to be on the internet for tghe world to see, not yours ! Their spanked ass will be your visit card, so you must be grateful to them, and respect their wishes if they want some picture or caption to be changed or removed at any point. Treating your network well is part of growing your reputation, and it takes only a few disgrunted spankees to ruin years of hard work building your reputation. So be extra cautious and on your toes about this. What about other spankers in your areas ? Well, you should also try your best to maintain neutral to good relation with them ! First, it takes several spankees and spankers to organize spanking parties.  Other spankers are also a good source of information to know which lads are flakes, who is a wanker, and even to share information about what works or not about spankees you have in common (with their consent, always). Furthermore, as we mentionned in section I, everyone has different tastes and availability. In other words, you can send them spankees that are not a match for you, and you may expect them to do the same. Petty jealousy with another spanker "because he gets all the spankees", or "because he spanked X last week so now he can't meet with me", or "because he has a more intimate/different relationship with Y" is generally a bad idea. Very few spankees are exclusive, so their is a good chance that you will have your turn if you are a good match too. Asking a spankee to choose between 2 spankers he likes is also a bad idea because even if he chooses you, your relationship will be damaged. In the same vein, a bit of teasing between spankers is okay, but blattant and free provocation between spankers should be avoided: any spankees involved will notice and it won't look good. It is even worst if other members of the community notice, and too much teasing will make you the bad guy, which can also damage your reputation. Lastly, slandering or speaking ill of another spanker should be avoided: at some point someone will notice that it was a lie, most likely his network of spankos will speak out, and it won't do you any good. The only situations where it is acceptable to warn other members of the community about a spanker and to give him a bad reputation include: You know for a fact that he doesn't respect consent and has broken hard limits about sex, bruises or drawing blood. in other words, he is violent and or dangerous. Even in this case, you should rather push spankees that were the victims to speak out first. Minors are involved.

Well guys, as you know the upgrade caused us downtime of several days, something I wanted to avoid.  I could have restored from our backup and got us back on-line much sooner, however we would not have achieved our goal.    This upgrade was 100% necessary and I am happy to say will be the very last one using this script.   Do you notice anything different?   I hope not!  You are not supposed to!   The purpose of the upgrade was simply to get the database and file structure updated while identifying blocks and modules that were no longer compatible and of course removing them.   We did this because we want to move away from this script PHPFOX to SOCIAL ENGINE.  Having everything updated makes it easier for support requests with the new script and the database importer.   The script we use at present was developed and created by an amazing guy called Raymond Benc, he had an awesome team of developers and support personnel.  The script was in high demand and new Apps and modules were being heavily developed by 3rd party vendors.   Raymond was forced to sell the script to a company called Younet a number of years ago.  Now they have their fingers in many pies and their business model is to raise as much money as they can from existing script owners.  They have done this by introducing a new product tier and if you want the updated Apps such as mobile, you need to pay a premium of 300% of your original purchase price to get your product updated.  Not only that you then have to pay on-going annual fees.   Okay, this may have been sustainable and of course had to be considered.  Even if I had gone this route, no one is really developing anything new for PHPFOX, basically it’s really only YOUNET themselves.  In contrast Social Engine has a healthy and vibrant 3rd party community   They just screwed me again, by removing support for our chat bar, so I am forced to use one we bought some time ago, its slower but will do the trick meantime.  They did this because, they have developed their own system, with a price tag of almost 1K – now aren’t they just clever?   Now that this upgrade has been achieved, we can start work on a move to SOCIAL ENGINE.  The best part about this is, that it will be developed alongside our existing script.  This means no downtime until we are ready to go live and even then, it will be minimum.   When we achieve this move, which I will begin working on today, we will have an awesome site that is quick, full of the features we want and fully compatible with mobile devices.  That is where we need to be.   I will be posting more on this later, and if you have any questions, please go ahead and reach out.   James

Okay you naughty boys and ever so strict dads n tops!  So I have just managed to disable the freaking touchpad on my laptop .. which was driving me nuts, now I can actually type without the mouse flipping up and down lines and screwing up my text. I am in the UK right now and will be here for at least the next 6 months.  So presently in quarantine and Dad has insisted I just wear my PJ’s, as we can’t go out.  Yea that has nothing to do with the fact he can bare my tail easily whenever he feels like it, and the number of excuses he has found to land several swats at a time on my butt have increased a lot! Now I am on holiday, and you would think that my weekly review and punishment sessions would be suspended, right?  Nope, not at all, I had my behind royally tanned yesterday, can you believe it? Oh and it gets worse, I do plan on visiting several Dads/Tops over the course of my visit and my dear old dad Denis is going to ask them to conduct the review session, in the event I am with them on a Sunday!  Now come on, even the sternest of Dads must admit, that is not fair!  And yes, I know I can be naughty, even when on holidays – but that is not the point, hello I am on holidays! Okay rant over for now! and just in-case you are wondering, my Pop has found an empty corner to stand me in, dang that sucks! Hugsssss

So an update on what has been going on. I did a server rebuild and moved us over to a better web server, Litespeed as opposed to Apache.  This had to be done for several reasons, speed being an obvious one but also because the server had some faults, including its networking.  It takes a long time to do this, because I have to move the data from the server to a backup VPS and then back again.  When we do the copy back to the server, given the large amount of data, it is a six-hour process.  That said, this will be the last build for the next 18 months, unless the hardware fails. On the networking, it proved to be extremely frustrating and I am pissed about it.  We used Enom as our domain host, because the interface is easy to use and because propagation is virtually instant.  Enom sold out to Hover and I have never seen a more useless control panel in my life.  I was unable to edit name servers or glue records with it constantly giving me ‘auth’ errors.  I did create a ticket and I am still waiting and that was over 24 hours ago.  Part of the networking issue was that guys could not get to the site from some locations, there was a problem with DNS. Given that Hover screwed me right up the middle, I signed up for a month’s trial with a DNS hosting provider, which seems to be going well.  At the very least it gives me a month to move to another domain registrar, because hover can go f*** themselves.  Do let me know if you are experiencing problems, but I will have our own private nameservers back up again soon. I had hoped to run upgrades and fix some other issues, but again I struck out of luck as the script installer and upgrade routine constantly failed.  To that end, I have duplicated the site on the same server and will work on refreshing the database from scratch.  What that means in practice, is I install the script fresh with no data.  I then using a copy of our database strip all the extra modules out and all the core components and export to a file.  On the fresh database, I simply drop all the tables that are populated on our live database, and then merge the two together.  It is time consuming, but I will get it done. So you guys now we are still moving away from the scrip to social engine, I just need to figure a lot of bits and pieces on that.  It’s a totally different can of worms, but again I will get it done.  As I have said before once we get over onto social engine, everything will run smoother and nicer, including progressive web apps. So that’s it from me, and I am considering having a large southern comfort.   Hugs   James

Hey all. So today, I am going to try and get the site back to normal, and fix all those niggle bugs as well as an upgrade or two. Part of this process involves reloading and reconfiguring the actual server. Backups have been completed and will be updated before I begin. All going well this process will take between 5 - 6 hours, though if I hit snags it may take longer. As of this moment, I plan on starting in 2 hours time, which is 10am AZ time. The status page will work on southspanking.net and I will update that as I go along. I hope you all have a spanking good day!   James

Hello Everyone, Just a wee note to let you know, I am scheduling some maintenance that will result in a few hours downtime.  This is necessary to resolve a number of site issues since our crash a few weeks ago. There will be an announcement as well as a new status page that will be hosted on a separate server and the link to that page will also be published. It should take no more than a few hours. I will be prepping tomorrow and I am planning on implementing either Sunday or Monday, I will include a number of time zones. Thanks for your patience and as always Heads all the way down, bottoms up up up and SPANK those naughty cheeks! Hugsss   James

Well, everyone, I figured it is about time that I posted an update on our recent down-time, and our progress in getting things back to normal. The first thing I need to emphasize is, this was NOT an upgrade, even though you may see things showing a little differently, or new features, I can promise you, these are not intentional and more related to getting the site back online. Our main server basically failed, and it was pretty much OS related.  In order to get things back again, the normal restore process I used also failed.  This left us in a pretty bad situation.  After trying various methods, including using the latest release of the script, I was able eventually to get the site back. However, as you will have noticed not everything is displaying properly or working correctly, such as on mobile devices, for example chat and feed.  Sometimes the login box does not work correctly either and a number of other bugs are present. In order to get everything back to normal, will mean further down-time and that is going to be unavoidable.  I am planning to do this, sometime next week, BUT I will be posting at least 24 hours in advance and providing a status page you can all access to see when the site is back online and its progress. Once we get this completed, the site will be back too normal and it will have some additional features, but they will all actually work this time.  Again, please note this will not be a major upgrade. Our main planned upgrade will mean all mobile devices will have 95% access to ALL site features.  This is a work in progress and I am using a test site to facilitate this transition.  I expect this to be implemented at the end of May, and again I will keep you all in the loop on this one. Thanks for everyone’s patience!   James and our Amazing Admin team.

Hello everybody, I hope you are all well during this crazy time that is upon us all.  Not only are we dealing with this pandemic, but we have a presidential election and of course we are coming up on holiday season.  I have a lot to tell you, and I am pretty excited about it.  Now before I get into it all, I do have to talk about the subject I dread the most, site funding.  Its always a source of embarrassment for me personally, and its something I would much rather avoid.  That said, I have learned the hard way, the longer I put it off, the worse the situation becomes. Previously I have simply pulled out the begging bowl and I do not want to do that anymore, so I am going to try something different.  I have created a new membership group called “Community Supporter”.  Everyone can choose to upgrade to this group by making a one-time payment of a minimum of $25, and that will last for as long as the site does.  You will get a small icon on your profile page together with the text ‘Community Supporter’, this is done automatically. Somethings I want to point out: You can upgrade by clicking on the upgrade button on the menu bar. When you upgrade, the charge will show as Arizoy LLC – the site will not be mentioned on your statement.  This is of course to protect your privacy. I am working on different payment gateways but for now Pay-Pal is the only option.  You do not need a Pay-Pal account though and can simply checkout as guest. If you have made a donation ever to the site of $25 or more, you will be upgraded.  I will do this manually, but it will take a bit of time.  Once I have finished, I will post as such and anyone I missed can then get in touch with me and I will fix it for them. You can choose the minimum of $25, or more, but there is no difference or additional benefits, if you choose to go higher.  I am keeping it simple.  When you think about $25 for life is pretty good value, when some sites charge around that or higher for just one month. It is a onetime payment, there is no reoccurring charge and the options will no longer appear under the upgrade button. I am hoping, this will allow the site to become self-sufficient, as we would only need a percentage of future members to upgrade their memberships in order to do so.  If we need to encourage further, we do have options such as restricting the videos, either by number or minutes to non-supporting members.  This would really be a last resort though, as I seriously want to keep the site free for everybody. With Black Friday and Cyber Monday, coming in the next few months, I would love to see enough upgrades so we can take advantage of the deals, possibly even snagging a server for a year, that would be awesome! Okay, I am so glad that’s over with …. now onto the good stuff! (dang I sounded boring in all of that)! Right you are, we are going for a major upgrade, which is currently in the testing phase on our backup server.  I will be inviting some of you to trial it for me and help identify any bugs etc.  I am funding the upgrade out of my own pocket, but this will be the last time I can do so.  This is by order of hubby whom wields the hairbrush. So here are some highlights: Its going to be faster. It will have a progressive web app, for those using tablets, cell phones etc. Again, with those using mobile devices, you will be able to download a generic app for both Android and Apple, though the respective stores. We will be using HTML 5 for videos. Chat system will be new and improved. Groups are getting a huge overall. You will be able to have password resets by email, but this will be constrained to only password resets. Photos and Albums are being revamped and will be much easier to navigate. You will have a favorite system, where you can mark any items you choose as a ‘favorite’ and then access the all from a new tab page. A few other surprises

The Coach's voice sounded already angry! "Well, let's start with a spontanous check of your cleanliness...!" The bloke already knew what would expect him. It was not the first time the Coach did such a control, which often ended in a corporal punishment. The guy stripped completely and then placed himself in front of his Coach. He sticked his hands towards his Coach. First the palms, then the back of his hands. "Fine..." complimented the Coach while checking the clean hands. "Now your ears, boy!" The boy moved his head and dad looked in his ears, first the left ear, then the right ear. "Clean as well! Good boy!" The boy was relieved but he rejoyed too soon... "All right, now your bottom! Turn around and bend down!" The 22 year old boy crinched and the back side of his muscular body got a goose-skin. The coach took a paper tissue out of his trousers and gave it to the boy. "Clean your butt cheeks with the tissue...! And go deeply inside.." The boy took the paper tissue, bent down further, spread his cheeks and scrubbed between his wide-spread bum-cleft. "hmm, my dear boy..." the coach mumbled. "I don't think you want to affirm that you cleaned your bum well after the last bowel-movement?" There was a highly visible brown stripe on the white paper tissue. The guy turned red: "Please, no enema...!" The coach looked at his football player with a very serious face: "You know that uncleanliness doesn't only mean that you'll get an enema - it means as well that you will get a hard punishment. So, you will come down to the punishment room in 10 minutes! Got it? The boy nodded, he felt bummed out. But there wouldn't be an alternative as disobedience would mean to be excluded from the football team.

The Coach's voice sounded already angry! "Well, let's start with a spontanous check of your cleanliness...!" The bloke already knew what would expect him. It was not the first time the Coach did such a control, which often ended in a corporal punishment. The guy stripped completely and then placed himself in front of his Coach. He sticked his hands towards his Coach. First the palms, then the back of his hands. "Fine..." complimented the Coach while checking the clean hands. "Now your ears, boy!" The boy moved his head and dad looked in his ears, first the left ear, then the right ear. "Clean as well! Good boy!" The boy was relieved but he rejoyed too soon... "All right, now your bottom! Turn around and bend down!" The 22 year old boy crinched and the back side of his muscular body got a goose-skin. The coach took a paper tissue out of his trousers and gave it to the boy. "Clean your butt cheeks with the tissue...! And go deeply inside.." The boy took the paper tissue, bent down further, spread his cheeks and scrubbed between his wide-spread bum-cleft. "hmm, my dear boy..." the coach mumbled. "I don't think you want to affirm that you cleaned your bum well after the last bowel-movement?" There was a highly visible brown stripe on the white paper tissue. The guy turned red: "Please, no enema...!" The coach looked at his football player with a very serious face: "You know that uncleanliness doesn't only mean that you'll get an enema - it means as well that you will get a hard punishment. So, you will come down to the punishment room in 10 minutes! Got it? The boy nodded, he felt bummed out. But there wouldn't be an alternative as disobedience would mean to be excluded from the football team.

The Coach's voice sounded already angry! "Well, let's start with a spontanous check of your cleanliness...!" The bloke already knew what would expect him. It was not the first time the Coach did such a control, which often ended in a corporal punishment. The guy stripped completely and then placed himself in front of his Coach. He sticked his hands towards his Coach. First the palms, then the back of his hands. "Fine..." complimented the Coach while checking the clean hands. "Now your ears, boy!" The boy moved his head and dad looked in his ears, first the left ear, then the right ear. "Clean as well! Good boy!" The boy was relieved but he rejoyed too soon... "All right, now your bottom! Turn around and bend down!" The 22 year old boy crinched and the back side of his muscular body got a goose-skin. The coach took a paper tissue out of his trousers and gave it to the boy. "Clean your butt cheeks with the tissue...! And go deeply inside.." The boy took the paper tissue, bent down further, spread his cheeks and scrubbed between his wide-spread bum-cleft. "hmm, my dear boy..." the coach mumbled. "I don't think you want to affirm that you cleaned your bum well after the last bowel-movement?" There was a highly visible brown stripe on the white paper tissue. The guy turned red: "Please, no enema...!" The coach looked at his football player with a very serious face: "You know that uncleanliness doesn't only mean that you'll get an enema - it means as well that you will get a hard punishment. So, you will come down to the punishment room in 10 minutes! Got it? The boy nodded, he felt bummed out. But there wouldn't be an alternative as disobedience would mean to be excluded from the football team.