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I thought I would share about this aspect of my life, but obviously it is not for everyone, we are all different and have our own ideas on what we want, need or expereince in all relationships. The first think I want to talk about here is Boundaries, these are not rules. I think there is a lot of speculation or supposition that those in Domestic Discipline relationships are controlled completely and this is not true, well not form my point of view anyway. The cotrol element from my partner is focused on discipline, punishment and obviously my bare bottom and I can promise you all my spankings are very real. Anyway back to boundaries, I created my own, these are to help me focus, deal with habits and progress my career. My partner and I are more like Dad/Son, he is older than me and he insisted that I made my own boundaries complete with a proposal for punishment which is now always enforced. In a way, I have only myself to blame when I end up punished for breaking them. We do have some rules, and number one is obedience and listening (these are not boundaries), but shouldnt be mistaken for total control, obedience is similar to him asking me to be home at a certain time, or pick up the dry cleaning. It is possible for me to be both disobidenet and break one of my own boundaries. Anyway this is just a quick post on this blog and I will update it once a week with more thoughts, views and expereinces. PS - If you are interested in my boundaries and the punishments you can see them right here: www.southspanking.com/boundaries James

Hello everybody, I hope you are all well during this crazy time that is upon us all.  Not only are we dealing with this pandemic, but we have a presidential election and of course we are coming up on holiday season.  I have a lot to tell you, and I am pretty excited about it.  Now before I get into it all, I do have to talk about the subject I dread the most, site funding.  Its always a source of embarrassment for me personally, and its something I would much rather avoid.  That said, I have learned the hard way, the longer I put it off, the worse the situation becomes. Previously I have simply pulled out the begging bowl and I do not want to do that anymore, so I am going to try something different.  I have created a new membership group called “Community Supporter”.  Everyone can choose to upgrade to this group by making a one-time payment of a minimum of $25, and that will last for as long as the site does.  You will get a small icon on your profile page together with the text ‘Community Supporter’, this is done automatically. Somethings I want to point out: You can upgrade by clicking on the upgrade button on the menu bar. When you upgrade, the charge will show as Arizoy LLC – the site will not be mentioned on your statement.  This is of course to protect your privacy. I am working on different payment gateways but for now Pay-Pal is the only option.  You do not need a Pay-Pal account though and can simply checkout as guest. If you have made a donation ever to the site of $25 or more, you will be upgraded.  I will do this manually, but it will take a bit of time.  Once I have finished, I will post as such and anyone I missed can then get in touch with me and I will fix it for them. You can choose the minimum of $25, or more, but there is no difference or additional benefits, if you choose to go higher.  I am keeping it simple.  When you think about $25 for life is pretty good value, when some sites charge around that or higher for just one month. It is a onetime payment, there is no reoccurring charge and the options will no longer appear under the upgrade button. I am hoping, this will allow the site to become self-sufficient, as we would only need a percentage of future members to upgrade their memberships in order to do so.  If we need to encourage further, we do have options such as restricting the videos, either by number or minutes to non-supporting members.  This would really be a last resort though, as I seriously want to keep the site free for everybody. With Black Friday and Cyber Monday, coming in the next few months, I would love to see enough upgrades so we can take advantage of the deals, possibly even snagging a server for a year, that would be awesome! Okay, I am so glad that’s over with …. now onto the good stuff! (dang I sounded boring in all of that)! Right you are, we are going for a major upgrade, which is currently in the testing phase on our backup server.  I will be inviting some of you to trial it for me and help identify any bugs etc.  I am funding the upgrade out of my own pocket, but this will be the last time I can do so.  This is by order of hubby whom wields the hairbrush. So here are some highlights: Its going to be faster. It will have a progressive web app, for those using tablets, cell phones etc. Again, with those using mobile devices, you will be able to download a generic app for both Android and Apple, though the respective stores. We will be using HTML 5 for videos. Chat system will be new and improved. Groups are getting a huge overall. You will be able to have password resets by email, but this will be constrained to only password resets. Photos and Albums are being revamped and will be much easier to navigate. You will have a favorite system, where you can mark any items you choose as a ‘favorite’ and then access the all from a new tab page. A few other surprises

Well guys, as much as I hate doing it and I try very hard not to, it is time for a fundraiser for the site. Now please, only donate if you can afford to do so, I mean that.  Right now, with the pandemic everyone is in a difference place, financially, Healthwise and Career Wise.  It is important to concentrate on what matters the most and this site should not be a top priority. If you want to donate, please click on the donate button, or if you have not sone so already consider updating your membership.   Hugs and many thanks   James

It is of my opinion that a spanking should be strictly discipline. I do understand that people do enjoy the more erotic side of it however I am very much into role play and it would take away from the 'scene' if there was an erotic element. I do believe though that the chastising of a boy or son should not entirely be restricted to just straight spanking. Here are just a few things i also enjoy about a spanking session, i hope you agree and share other humiliation / embarassment / punishment techniques you enjoy!! SCOLDING For me this is an extremely important part of any spanking. It should be made before, during and after a spanking. A father or dom should send a clear message to his boy that he is no longer in control and that he has been naughty for a particular reason. A father should remain in control when scolding his boy and should never shout. He should speak with authority and make his boy understand that he is wrong, and will do as he is told from then on in. RULE SETTING A particular favourite of mine is during a spanking a father setting down rules to his boy that he will be expected to abide by. For example 1. you are grounded for the next 2 weeks 2. your bed time is now 10pm every night. 3. you will do all your house chores before school/work etc. SHAVING It is a good way of a dad to tell his boy if he is going to act like a young boy he is going to be treated like one. It's extremely humiliating for any boy to be shaved front and back by his dad. DIAPER POSITION Being spanked is embarassing enough. Being spanked in the diaper position is pretty humiliating! CORNER TIME Corner time should always be utilized by a dad. It can be used before, during(if it's a particularly long session) and after. Nothing better than when a dad drags his son by the ear to the corner and makes him spread his legs. The duration should be dependent on how naughty the boy was. As a variant the dom could place a wooden stool for the boy to sit on in the corner as well. As an additional extra the dom might wish to add something like a coin that the boy must hold with his nose against the wall, hands on head and legs spread. WRITING LINES / APOLOGY LETTERS Writing lines or apology letters reinforces to the boy that he has been naughty and will ensure he regrets whatever he has done. MOUTH SOAPING Swearing during a spanking? Not whilst daddys around you don't!! Drag the boy to the bathroom and soap his mouth out good and hard whilst spanking him or make him kneel infront of you and rinse him out. BATH TIME Having a dad wash me before or after a spanking(before being sent to bed) is extremely embarassing. BEING PUT TO BED EARLY Tucked in like the naughty young boy and told to be good whilst dad ruffles your hair. Need i say more? GINGER Never tried this before but I have heard a lot of people say this is a great way to discipline a boy as it stings like hell. ---- Don't know if i've missed anything. If you have anything else you would like to add please comment below. ps. sorry about grammar wrote this quite quickly! xxx

  "After his Spanking"   or Spanking Tools and the Benefits of Enhanced Cornertime by Cornertime Confidential and the readers of SouthSpanking.com Many of you wrote in to ask us when Part 3 would be added to the Guide to the Correction of adult boys. We encourage you to read that blogpost first, of course. In our effort to make Part 3 work, even if you haven't read Parts 1 and 2, today, we will discuss "after his Spanking," or a short reflection on Spanking Tools a discussion on the benefits of enhanced Cornertime. Today, in Part 3, let's discuss "after his Spanking":   Spanking Tools and the Best Use of Them As we all know, the very best use for a Spanking Tool is only as a simple warning positioned out on the counter in the kitchen, hanging from a hook, on the bathroom sink, or in the bedroom where the boy can be made to fetch The Stick or The Belt when needed. But sometimes, the second best use of Spanking Tools can be when applied right across a naughty boy's bottom—and sometimes repeatedly so..  In this section, we'll speak primarily of Spanking Tools but in many cases this can mean a variety of things you may or may not have considered, for example:  Daddy's hand Any Rod of Correction or  The Belt that best keeps Daddy's trousers up, his boy in line, and the relationship on track.  Also, we'll speak of a "relationship," but we only really mean the relationship between two people or more in a CP "meet up," not necessarily a Domestic Discipline relationship, a Daddy/boy relationship, or even  long-term relationship at all. Ideally, Daddys will know their boys well enough ahead of time and can utilize the most effective Spanking Tool whenever the call for. However, sometimes you just won't know until a new boy arrives. Most Daddys will be glad that they've spent time learning to hand-Spank well and effectively. And they'll also be better off if they have an organized Spanking Tool bag or shelf or drawer, so the boy can be sent there to pick out the Spanking Tool that'll be used across his backside. In most instances, the alarm opening a drawer of various sticks for Spanking will subside if the Daddy sets the tone and the emotional stage ahead of time, so the boy isn't alarmed and just runs out the door. Instead, the Daddy who best connects ahead of time will find compliant boys who are grateful that there's not just a gigantic frat paddle or a big thick belt and that's the only choice.   Tips for Tops! Once you have a mini-trove from which to choose from, have new boys go select the Spanking Tool with which they will be Spanked. Cornertime Confidential recommends having a few simple items: a thin light paddle, a thicker Spanking Stick like a Jocari or mini-frat paddle, a good Old-Fashioned Hairbrush, and a firm sturdy ruler or yardstick. For belts, you'll want a 2.5"-3" thick black buckled belt and possibly a razor strop or other effective leather strap for Spanking.  Remember, as we learned in parts 2 and 3, a good beating is not delivered by The Spanking Tool. It's created by the Daddy or the Top who administers it. So as you've seen in the other sections of the Guide to the Spanking of adult boys, we have extensive insights for you on that which you should read carefully. However, the Spanking Tools you use will can make a world of difference if they are high quality and applied correctly. Some boys even become attached to certain ones. So do some Daddys!  You don't need to go anywhere other than the local Marshalls, Ross for Less, T.J. Maxx, or Target/Walmart for what you'll need. This may surprise, but the most simple, affordable black belt that does the job is a standard product from H&M stores. It's less than $20. And while Cornertime Confidential encourage all community members to support the communities that support us, including Nasty Pig, Albert Prendergast,the many talented paddlemeisters out there, we don't want anyone to feel that a life in the CP community is a matter of having the latest styles and fashions. Tips for Tops! They call it an "Old Fashioned" Hairbrush Spanking for a reason. A new-fangled hairbrush won't really achieve your goals.  If there's a need, let Cornertime Confidential know, and we can provide a buyers guide of where to get the Spanking Tools you'll want around your home. Once you have them, be sure to keep them in eyeshot of any boy you have over.  If you have a partner who is regularly disciplined, work together to find the very best way to heighten anticipation with everyday objects vanilla friends and family will not realize are used for CP in your home. A small wooden cutting board in the kitchen can regularly double as a hand-sized paddle for boy. An Italian fly swatter (they're made with a leather face) can hang in the kitchen or on the patio, and be used for swattting away bad behaviour as well! The Belt hanging from the closet door can be there as a constant Behinder Reminder to be good and get to bed on time or wake up early! And a good Old Fashioned Hairbrush that isn't really used (in our home Daddy and I are both fairly bald, so no one knows quite why we have The Hairbrush sitting out in the bathroom) can be a Behaviour Modifier every single time your boy goes to the bathroom—and remind him that he's the boy and you're the Daddy/Top.         A Discussion on the Benefits of Enhanced Cornertime Enhanced Cornertime can be, when administered well, in and of itself its own punishment. As you develop your Corporal Punishment-based relationship, sometimes it may help to set the tone using this tool in your toolbox. Cornertime or a Time Out can be used without resorting to Spanking. But many find it boring. So, make it a busy time for your boy: writing lines, washing his mouth out with soap and having him hold the bar in his mouth while he's in The Corner, lecturing him while he stands there. For some boys in some relationships Cornertime will not work. A sound beating on the behind is all they want or need. But for many, that's just too short and abrupt. That's one of the reasons many Daddys opt for the use and effective implementation of Enhanced Cornertime.  We posed the need for some feedback on these areas of importance to the large, well-experience SouthSpanking.com group. Here's what they suggested:   oldskoolotk Cornertime should last for at least 10 minutes in my opinion, just like the Spanking, a boy should wish it was over long before it actually is, and it should be a lesson in endurance. A boy should never feel that Cornertime means he is in the clear, more Spanking should always be a threat, if a boy hasn’t accepted his punishment fully and doesn’t have a proper attitude upon review.    Hands should always be placed somewhere that leaves him exposed front and back, and he should be corrected appropriately if they wander. Adding holding a coin to the wall with his nose can be extra punishment if he has trouble staying in position. Talking should be prohibited unless the boy is spoken to, Some boys need to be sat on the lap, as well, and that can be added at the very end when the boys punishment is over. Other boys may need their bottoms lotioned with something to help heal them, and that can also be done at the end. It's best done OTK with some encouraging words.    The pants and underpants coming up or being put on is the final part of the process, and signifies that the punishment is over. However, in certain situations clothing restrictions can be appropriate and can add to a boys consequences. A boy may be restricted to briefs or even a bare bottom for a certain amount of time and gradually earn back his clothing privileges, or perhaps even be required to sleep nude.    James AZ Very Very Very well-written Oldskool —punishment must be effective and Cornertime is definitely a time to think, a time to reflect, and a time to heal ... it's emotional and a lot more...creativity is so easy, and Daddys or Tops can be encouraged to get very creative. Max Writing lines can be salutary. So can sitting bare-bottomed on a hard wooden chair with a Spanking Tool within eyeshot. We find it instructive how inventive members of this robust website are both with ideas and actions.The Correction of adult boys isn't just about Spanking. There's a lot of psychological value in integrating the Spanking Tools, making Cornertime or Times Out a part of the process, or having your punished boy write lines to correspond with the need for his Spanking. For example, if he's being Spanked for open defiance, you can have him write, "I promise to not be openly defiant to Daddy." or "Daddy is in charge. I am not." 100 times with a pencil on a big sheet of paper.  Tips for Tops! Invest in paper and pencils ahead of time before suddenly being unable to administer the punishment because you don't have enough paper around the house! NonSpanking punishments—broadly speaking, "enhanced Cornertime"—can extend the time necessary for a full and complete Corporal Punishment experience. Enhanced Cornertime can be a stand-alone punishment as well, adding a sense that the boy is not in charge. It's particularly effective when used domestically in the course of a regular night of eating dinner, watching T.V., playing video or board games, etc. If you are in the midst of regular domestic live, when an appropriate time comes based on snark, tone, attitude, laziness, lack of cooperation, send your boy to The Corner, a place you have set aside in Punishment Spanking times as The Corner where naughty boys in the house go.  Sometimes this will mean sending him to his room.Sometimes it'll be just a place in the living room where you can see him standing with his 'pants lowered or not—and his bottom facing into the room. When punished in this way, the Correction of adult boys goes far beyond the thrills and spills associated with Spanking alone. You can turn off the T.V. (and now that Daddys mostly all have DVR, they can stop a program midstream, and attend to discipline, and then when the boy is sufiiciently punished, return to the program with or without the errant boy). Why do this? Because Enhanced Cornertime can bring vitality back to a relationship that can be stuck in a tidewater of repetition, dullness, or worse. Relationships need variety, and one way to do that is to use The Stick or The Belt, but another it to use your mind.    Tips for Tops! The mind is a very effective Tool for Corporal and non-Corporal Punishment. Use that tool to put a nail in bad behaviour, defiance, Rulebreaking, and the like.  What can you do with these following household items? Castor OIl  Capsaicin Cream  A switch from a recent hike  Stinging nettles from a local forest  A rough plastic door mat  Enforced writing of lines  (For some boys) being put into diapers  (For others) being made to wear white briefs... ...the options can be seemingly endless...if you put your mind to it! So don't put your back into it. Spend less time fretting about whether you deliver a good Spanking. Think more about how you can be the perfect Daddy for the boys you have.  Each boy is unique as is each Daddy, and a unique approach driven by you and his own personal experience will make the Spanking of adult boys in your life better, more effective, and ultimately much for satisfying for both involved.          After a Trip to the Woodshed, What Next?   Please comment below or email me with your ideas.   ________________________________________ Follow Cornertime Confidential Wherever You Are: Tumblr  ∙  Twitter  ∙  Blogger ∙  WordPress  

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Yea, sometimes I really get frustrated at some the discipline or punishments my Pop comes up with, so here are some of mine.  Feel free to add to the list!   Being made to fetch the spanking impliment, especially the hairbrush. Cornertime (goes without saying). Being sent for a nap for being grouchy. A bedtime spanking - who the heck came up with that one?  I don't want to be spanked before I climb into bed! Being sent to bed early .. come on seriously! Being denied pants and briefs for a period of time, really sucks if it ends up being all day.  My bare bottom does not have to be on display thank you very much! Being ummm shaved - yea you know where, I hate it, hate it, hate it! Being bathed ... am not gonna comment much on this, though it usually goes hand in hand with shaving. Having to say 'I have been a very naughty boy, Dad and I need to be spanked' or something similar. Writing an esaay on 'What I learned from my punishment' or some other nutty topic! Having to wear a drop seat suit to bed, or silly little Pajama Sets.   Dang it, just stop it will ya!      

Daddy has had to set out new house rules for me because I got a really bad report card this week. Interested to know your thoughts please. Should any new rules / themes be added? Should any be rephrased?  Let me know by commenting beneath.   Theme: Behaviour & The 3 Ds 1. From this point forward, you will refer to me only as DADDY or SIR.  2. Perfect attendance at school is non negotiable.  3. Bad grades and poor performance in extra curricular activity will not be tolerated. You will recieve a minimum grade of B+ in all future exams. 4. No Disrespect. Always remember that daddy is in charge and you live under his care. You will be polite, respectful and properly behaved at all times. 5. No Disobedience. When daddy gives you a direct instruction you will do it. 6. No Dishonesty. Never lie, you should always be truthful, and forthcoming.  Theme: Chores 7. You are to make your bed, and keep your room visibly tidy, neat and in order at all time.  8. Additional chores will be posted on the fridge showing you your daily routine, which will consist of: chores, projects, homework, and studying. The list will be complete daily. Theme: Dress Code 9. Outside the home you will ensure that you are properly and smartly dressed in school uniform. You are not permitted to wear "casual" clothes at any time. Uniform includes school blazer, white shirt, grey shorts, belt, school tie, long grey socks, black leather shoes and white briefs. 10. At home and on weekends you will only be permitted to wear the following; white briefs, white cotton socks and white vest. 11. At bedtime you will wear standard blue pyjama top and bottoms only. Theme: Bedtime 12. You will report to me every night at 8pm to review the day. You will stand in the corner facing the wall, hands on head, until called. 13. You will be given a bath to ensure cleanliness is maintained. On occasion it may be necessary to wash your insides too by washing your mouth out with soap or given an enema. 14. You will be shaved smooth as a helpful reminder to who is in charge and to ensure good hygeine. 15. Bedtime and lights out is at 9pm sharp.  Theme: Privacy 16. Privacy is privilege, you will leave doors open at all times, even if you are using the toilet. 17. Until grades meet expected standard all electronics including phone, laptop and PlayStation are to be confiscated.  18. You are grounded until further notice. 

A warning about pants and briefs at ankles!   Well fellow boys, I have to confess that my dad and hubby always takes down my pants and undies himself, baring my bottom for punishment.  I do actually prefer it that way, and in a crazy sort of way, it makes me feel a little ‘pampered’.  I suppose as he really is my ‘authority’ figure I allow myself to be prepared for the consequences as he sees fit.   So last night, there he was bending down into the bed room closet, and of course instinct took over, there in front mf my very eyes were his bottom stretched nice and tightly and my hand got itchy.  I swung it as hard as I could and it landed with a very satisfying slap.   As my hand landed and I heard that wonderful slap, I knew right away I was in big trouble, but of course there is no going back, the deed had been done.  Normally I am taken to the spanking chair, bottom bared and then over the knee I go but he decided to take down my pants and undies right there and then.  As he took me by my ear to lead me to the chair, I tripped on the pants and undies that were tangled around my ankles and fell pretty hard.   After a lot of fussing, and about ½ hour later when he was satisfied that no damage had been done, I got my bottom tanned and sat in the corner for a while.  Afterwards he told me that from now on, my pants and underwear would be completely removed for all future spankings, and that he would still be stripping me down himself.    It is something to think about, I could have for example tripped and fallen on to the corner of the table hitting my head.  So, beware and be careful if you find yourself in a similar situation.   And to those Dad’s and Tops that are about to say something like ‘Well if you had behaved it would never have happened’ – well for sure you are correct, but I stick my tongue out to you and blow a raspberry!   Hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss   James

Cornertime Confidential received a follow up email from joey b, a rural boy living in an area where it's hard to meet and connect with Daddys who work out. You can read more about what my friends here on SouthSpanking.com recommended joey b do by reading this blogpost here. Thanks in part to your efforts to help rural joey b, he did meet a Man Who Paddles and warmed up joey b's bottom good. But now...he's got a question for you...   ...Now What Do I Do? by joey b Dear Cornertime Confidential, Thanks again for your readers' help in finding a Man Who Spanks out here in my rural end of the country. It looks like getting a Spanking from the guy I met might be a regular thing, and we will get together when our schedules allow. I sure hope he gets to Spank me many times in the future. It was nice to get a hug afterwards too. He was a very nice guy, but he put me through my paces too. Honestly, though, I'm not sure how to proceed from here.  I am the type of person that always feels like I am bothering someone if I contact them. I'm a little better when it comes to texting or email, but I still worry I will be a nuisance. I'm not sure how long I should take to text him again and when I should ask for another Spanking. I am a glutton for punishment, so I could do this every week, LOL.  I've always wanted to meet someone who I could be in a relationship with romantically who would give me daily short Maintenance Spankings as well as more intense Spankings when I am "naughty." I'm not for sure if this guy would even want a regular friendship let alone something more. For now, I'd be happy with just getting at least somewhat regular Spankings.  When I texted him after I got home from the Spanking and thanked him again, he did say, "We'll definitely do it again," so that sounds promising. We had talked about how hard it is to find Spanking partners in this area. I would enjoy becoming actual friends with him, but I don't know if he is the type that would just want a purely Spanking relationship. I know he said that for him, he keeps Spankings and sex separate, so I wonder what else he keeps separate from Spanking partners. Sorry if I am just laying this all out and it's TMI, but I really don't have anyone to talk about this with. Any and all advice is appreciated.  Love,  joey b ________________________________________ So you just went to on a date for a Spanking with a new boy or new Man Who Spanks? What's the best next steps if it went well or even just good?  How much post-Spanking communication is too much with a new Daddy?  What kind of communication is just right? Not enough?  You don't want to appear to be like a stalker, what's the sweet spot here?  And how do you know, based on the fact that every boy and every Man Who Spanks is different? Together, maybe the Cornertime Confidential readers can help establish a few movable goal posts—or perhaps instead hard-and-fast rules or gold standards—of post-Spanking communication to make it easier for everyone. Let's together see if we can all behind a few effective lines in the sand, so we know what the limits are every time.  And no adult adult boy wants to latch onto the wrong Daddy right off the bat.  So let's open this up now to you guys. How would you advise joey b?  

                       Discipline:  Foundation of the Father-Son Relationship                       [By: Strapman02]         [Disclaimer:  I wrote this essay [below, in 1991] , when I was just starting graduate school.  I [was] in my late 20's [when I added to, and edited, this together for this posting], do not now have children, nor have I ever had children.  I am just exercising my First Amendment rights here -- so do not try to draw the wrong conclusions by reading into this what you want to read into it, rather than what I wrote in it.  I welcome all responses to the essay, both here and in private email.]        Over the years, much has been said about the nature of the father-son  relationship, and of the proper role of the father in the rearing of his son.  The father wears many hats in his relationship with his son:  he is authoritative (and authoritarian) on certain matters; he provides his son with a role model-- himself--on how to act as a man; he is an advisor on certain issues, such as those of a sexual nature vis a vis the opposite (or, in more and more cases,  the same) sex; he is also the disciplinarian of the son.         The Bible offers its own advice for the father-son relationship:       "He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores  correction leads others astray."--Proverbs 10:17.       "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid."--Proverbs 12:1       "He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored."--Proverbs 13:18       "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."--Proverbs 13:24       "He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding."--Proverbs 15:32   `     It is this that which we will be discussing in this treatise.          The father has the legal authority and obligation to discipline his son.  To accomplish this goal, different fathers use different means, such as reasoning,  withholding of privileges (e.g. grounding, no car this week, etc.), cutting  allowances, and last, and in my view, most importantly--for blatant and  significant violations of house rules that could endanger himself or others  in the family or society--corporal methods.        The father is the one that takes the son into a private room, such as a  bedroom, bathroom, or other room; tells the son that he has been bad because  he has engaged in some objectionable behavior; tells the son that he is going  to be paddled, spanked, strapped, or whipped, or whatever verb you prefer; orders his son to, and if need be, he himself proceeds to, pull down the son's  pants and underpants; bends him over the back of a chair, across his lap, face down lengthwise on the bed, or on the side of a bed; and administers a paddle, a strap, or other device,  such as a razor strop, across his son's bare buttocks in a meticulous, repetitive, and severe fashion, until the son understands, under no uncertain terms, that what he did was WRONG, and, should this particular activity be repeated at any time in the future, similar, though even more  severe, consequences will befall his son.        Friends, I never had my father around to perform this most important,  necessary function.  I only wonder how I might be different than the way I am today had my father been around to spank me soundly when I deserved it.   Would that have made me a stronger person?  Perhaps.  Would that have instilled violent tendencies in my own personal behavior toward other people?  Perhaps, though unlikely in my view. Would I have a more clearly defined sense of right and wrong?  Most definitely.

A reader asked an interesting question recently, and we thought it might be a good time to revisit Punishment Spankings. Over the years, we have covered this topic by bringing in the voices of others living in  DD relationships.  Today we hear again from shilo on how it works in her relaionship. There's so much instructive advice here, we felt you just gotta read it. If you'd like tips on how to be a Top who administers a Punishment Spanking, here's a few blogposts that might be able to help: Punishment Spankings and How to Administer Them Here's an example of how my Daddy administered a Punishment Spanking for a real reason. Here's an idea about what to do AFTER the Punishment Spanking Here's a video of one way to deliver a Punishment Spanking What do you consider a Punishment Spanking to be?   Today’s guest blog post brings Cornertime Confidential readers one person’s viewpoint on how a Punishment Spanking should be administered. I’m not actually in agreement here with all the specifics that our guest blogger, shilo, spells out here. However, what this blogpost brings is a fresh perspective.  While that blog is about married couples implementing Domestic Discipline, I think there are still useful learnings here worth sharing. See what you think. And as always, Cornertime Confidential values your feedback, just click on the “comment” button at the bottom of the post to have your voice heard.   [The following is freely adapted to adult boys and the Men Who Spank them. This is not shilo's original post—nor could it be, given this blog is devoted to M/m Corporal Punishment—and you'll note a particular alteration in the use of pronouns. As a point of further clarification, I have made clarifying remarks throughout and added in a bit where thoughts were not completely fleshed out. In the final section, I have adjusted the content for adult boys entirely.]   __________________________ Punishment Spankings and How to Administer Them by shilo wace* I wanted to talk a bit about giving a Spanking. Not as a person who gives them myself, but one who receives them. Of course, I know there are many ways to administer physical punishment so as I speak about how a solid no-nonsense Spanking should be given, it’s of course through my personal experiences and beliefs on how it should be. In the end, it’s my duty to accept however the Punishment is given, but that does not stop me from having an opinion about it. Let’s start by discussing The Punishment Spanking (as opposed to a Maintenance Spanking or playful Spanking). Punishment Spankings are meant to be unpleasant.   Punishment Spankings are meant to be unpleasant. As the Disciplinarian, you will be punishing a behavior or action. To do that effectively, you’ll want to consider several key elements that will create a memorable experience your boy will not forget.   Selecting the Right Spanking Tool First, a tool should be selected, the disciplinarian needs to know exactly what implement he will be using to administer the Spanking. A Punishment Spanking requires the use of a Spanking Tool, not just your hand. HandSpankings should be reserved for lighter less serious offenses. HandSpankings are also more personal and even considered more loving, this too is not in accordance with a Punishment Spanking.   Select the Right Spanking Tool The disciplinarian should select which implement he will be using and then commit to that implement not deciding to change it just before a Spanking is given. Don't use multiple Spanking Tools. Having the Spanking stop so he can switch to a spoon, or strap, just to stop again switching to a different tool a few minutes later turns the act of correction into some type of game. Personally, I feel this switching up makes the disciplinarian look somewhat unprofessional and unprepared. Like a child in a candy store jumping from one treat to the next.   [Note From Cornertime Confidential: we completely disagree with shilo here. We think if Daddy is in the middle of paddling, and his hand is tired of using The Hairbrush, we don’t see why he can’t just have his boy get off his lap, and send the boy to go get The Spanking Stick or The Wooden Spoon or The Paddle. It gives Daddy a break (and the boy a break!) and helps extend the length of time required to finish punishing.]   "Spankings" require a rigid, hard item which can deliver a stinging blow   When choosing an implement you first must decide what type of physical correction is going to be administered: A Spanking means you’re going to choose a tool such as a wooden paddle, hairbrush, wooden spoon or some type of rigid, hard item which can deliver a stinging blow. A Whipping means you are going to choose something such as a switch, cane, strap, cord or some type of flexible lightweight rod which will deliver a sharp concentrated lash. Once you have chosen a tool you can decide if you will have it ready in the area where you plan to administer the Spanking, or if he will have to retrieve the implement and bring it to you. Either way can be very effective.  Being sent off to get whatever is going to be used on you can be very humbling Being sent off to get whatever is going to be used on you can be very humbling, and on the other hand coming into a room and seeing the tool that will be used can immediately send butterflies into a boy’s tummy and upper throat. Certain tools such as a switch is always better if he is sent out to cut and prepare it himself. This is part of a ritual and is more effective than if it is already trimmed and cleaned.   Now that you have the Spanking Tool selected, and you know how it’s going to be presented, next you need to know how and where you will be administering the Spanking.   The Spanking Ritual I am a big believer in rituals, so having a special location you consistently use I feel is always best. So when you say “okay young man, go to the Punishment Room and wait for me” or “it’s time we take a trip to The Woodhed” he knows exactly what is going to happen without you just blurting out “I’m going to beat your behind.”   “it’s time we take a trip to The Woodshed” [Note: having a set Punishment Spanking ritual should not be a rote memorized experience. You can always vary it based on the circumstances. However, having a central ritual helps establish the tone and helps your boy get in the right headspace.]   The room you choose should already be prepared beforehand with whatever Spanking Chairs or Tools you need—unless you intend for your boy to retrieve that Spanking Tool as mentioned above. The room/area should be clean and free of clutter and not full of toys or stuff more professional than playful. I completely understand that you cannot be prepared for all situations and ready to go.  There will be times that certain behaviors may require immediate correction and other times you may be traveling far from the Domestic Discipline environment you have set up.      However you should be prepared for both these events and have a plan if such actions are necessary. [note: you should have a plan between you for what is acceptable resolution for bad behavior while travelling or in public: administering hotel spankings, pulling over on the side of the road, having a signal for a time out when in a group setting that requires he stop and meet you outside for a talkin’-to, etc.]   Go To Your Room   When in the Domestic Discipline home, preparing a room beforehand is still the best policy, and postponing punishment until everything is in place is worth the time. You can certainly have him stand in The Corner or take a bath as you prepare. Having him prepare for a Spanking is part of a good punishment ritual is well. Having a special punishment outfit, boyish underpants, athletic shorts, pajamas, etc., he would have to put on before going to the designated room, or the knowledge that once in the room he has to remove all of his clothing and put them away neatly and out of sight will certainly get him ready both physically and mentally.   Now that you’re both in the room, and he is standing before you in his embarrassing punishment dress or as naked as a newborn, this is the time you need to have a serious and controlled discussion with him about the behavior for which he is being corrected. He needs to be told that this is not for play or his pleasure, but this is a serious punishment to take him down a peg or two.   Scolding Do not go easy on him. Scold him: Identify the Misbehavior. Explain in detail how his behavior has earned him this punishment. Identify what’s required of him to fix things. Explain what is expected out of him in the future what to do to avoid further punishment.  This is very important, disciplinarians that do not scold properly or just assume he knows exactly why he’s being punished are making a communications mistake.   Avoid Making a making a Communications Mistake.   A good scolding should have your boy remorseful or even in tears before the first swat ever lands. If you are unsure how to scold properly, take the time to do some research.   [Note From Cornertime Confidential: we find scolding technique is particularly well done by Magic Spanking Factory’s Daddy and SpankingCentral.com’s Clifton Meador. These are good places to start looking for tone, attitude, and delivery of the talkin’-to].   You can certainly have him stand in The Corner or take a bath as you prepare.   Scolding is not yelling, and not belittling. It is explaining exactly how he disappointed you. And for most adult boy’s disappointing someone they care about can be more punishment than any Spanking. Do not rush the scolding, take your time, and let each word sink in. This is not the time for him to argue with you or give his side of the story. He is only to listen and to answer any of your questions with yes or no or what many Daddys require, “Yes, Sir” or “No, Sir.” The time for his side of the story past as soon as he was ordered to get ready for punishment. As a disciplinarian if you allow him to continue to argue with you, backtalk you, or give you attitude and you have lost control of the situation.  You need to regain it quickly. It is not a game to punish adult boys, and he should not disrespect you. Managing Misbehaviour During The Spanking  Once everything that needed to be said had been said then it’s time to move to the penalty phase of the punishment, which in this case is to administer the Spanking or the Whipping. You should have him move into position quickly such as over your knee, across your lap, bending over a chair, touching his toes, etc. Telling him to touch his toes does not mean putting his hands on his knees or grabbing his ankles, it means putting his fingertips to his toes, or placing his fingers underneath his toes. If he is not physically capable of actually bending forward to touch his toes, then the directions should be something along the lines of “Place your hands on your knees.”  "...trying to block his bottom with his hands is not only disrespectful and shows lack of obedience, but also it can be dangerous." It is a form of disrespect if he only bends far enough to put his hands on his knees when you instructed him to touch his toes. Don’t let him get by with that. Once you have him in the proper position you can give him any further instructions necessary, even if he’s heard them before, such as “Keep still! No kicking! No rubbing  your bottom!” Reminding him that his only job is to stay in place and not to try to prevent his Spanking in any way helps to establish who is actually in charge here. Excessive moving, or trying to block his bottom with his hands is not only disrespectful and shows lack of obedience, but also it can be dangerous. His cooperation is for his own good, so say so clearly and distinctly. Yelping, crying, and screaming should be expected, but there is no reason for him to talk or ask or beg for anything. He should not say any words at all. Begging or pleading is an attempt to reduce his punishment and should be treated the same way as if he was trying to block your access to his bottom with his hands or move out of the way. Excessive noise should also be addressed as you see fit. Excessive noise should also be addressed as you see fit.   The first swat should come quickly and hard. It should sting quite a bit and make him yelp out in both shock and pain. He is being punished and there is no such thing as a warm up Spanking for adult boys who are being punished. The only reason you might want to use a warm up Spanking is to lower his sensitivity and make the Spanking last longer. That again should be up to you, and you should consider this in the larger scope of what you are trying to achieve here. If it’s behavior improvement, then you might want to apply just a short sharp shock. If, however, you want something out of this too, you will want to find ways of prolonging this severe discipline by varying the intensity, so you aren’t wasting your time.   The Spanking should continue had a hard steady pace and go for quite some time. A disciplinarian needs to remember that he has chosen to participate in this relationship, and he should not be timid about delivering a sound Spanking. Spank him with enough force to ensure a very sore, fairly bruised bottom. He is not made out of glass. You’re not punishing him to break him, but you are disciplining him to keep him in line. That cannot be achieved with an adult boy by a gentle warning.   There is no need to set the amount of strokes or a set time, either. This is your free time to discipline as you see fit, so naturally, you certainly can do this if you wish. It’s best to remember that your boy is being punished, and it may be better to continue the punishment until the disciplinarian feels that he has reached the level of remorse he is looking for. This could vary on any given day, so there’s no reason that the spontaneity you have in your regular Domestic Discipline relationship cannot be secured during different Punishment Spankings.   "...it’s the bond you create with your words and your deeds during these high-impact emotional and physical moments."    Aftercare and Reinforcement of the Message Even though this is a Punishment Spanking, it’s always okay to be tender and forgiving. He has taken his punishment, and  whatever his misdeed, it has been paid for. You can hold him as he cries or whimpers or stamps his feet, and/or let him know that it’s over. It will not be discussed again, so long as his behavior aligns with your expectations that you set down during the scolding and now after the Punishment Spanking. It helps to reinforce the message behind the Spanking, for example, “I don’t want to see you do that again. Look me in the eye, and tell me you heard what I just said.”  If he was good and remained still for his Spanking, you might consider praising him for his obedience. Adult boys are the most submissive right after a Punishment Spanking. Showing him tenderness and love is what he needs most at this point and will ensure his continued obedience to you. Yes, he’ll screw up again, and yes, you’ll have to administer future Punishment Spankings. But ultimately, it’s the bond you create with your words and your deeds during these high-impact emotional and physical moments that will bond you most effectively to one another as Daddy and boy.   __________________________ *From August 2015 Please comment below or email us with your ideas aok4otk@aol.com or cornertimeconf@gmail.com ______________________________________ Follow Cornertime Confidential Wherever You Are: Tumblr  ∙  SouthSpanking ∙   WordPress  ∙  Twitter  

Experimenting in LTR with a rule: no Sunday night goes by without a spanking that week. And if one is needed, it goes something like the following. This is somewhat aspirational; trying to institute it as a regular routine. In this procedure, I am the boy. We are switches, but the other way around is more irregular and somewhat shorter. I need it more than he does.  Weekly Maintenance/Punishment Pants-Down Spanking   As described, this is a moderately hard spanking that an experienced bottom should be able to take at least once each week. It could be for “punishment” (fantasy or real), or just because a boy needs to be spanked regularly, which is sufficient reason.   Spanker seated on bed or sofa. Boy’s pants and underwear come down to around knees. Over the knee for a rather hard, steady-rhythm, moderately fast, hand spanking of at least one hundred smacks. Boy’s butt is nicely reddened, but this is the warm up. Warm up is crucial but it doesn’t mean pitty-pat. It means a spanking by hand only, but it’s actually pretty hard right from the start.   A break of about ten full minutes. (The break is important) May or may not involve standing, pants down but not off, facing the wall.   Spanker selects suitable OTK paddle or short strap (or both, in succession). Boy goes back over the knee, or spanker stands and puts him over one knee, or just bends him over and stands alongside. Pants down, but underwear may be up for the first part. Pants may or may not come all the way off for all or part. Spanking is again steady, but only moderately hard. It may go through four or five “periods,” with various brief breaks, or be one continuous go. Spanking should consist of a minimum of four hundred strokes. During periods or throughout, steady, regular rhythm, not too slow, is important. Howling, kicking, crying, etc. are ignored or controlled.   Afterwards, boy is given a few moments to recover, then stands, bends over (same position as one of the options above, or spanker may stand back a little for school-style swats). Spanker then administers between five and fifteen considerably harder but not full-strength swats, about one every three to five seconds, to bare butt or possibly clad only in underwear, For this kind of spanking, counting, or announcing how many he’s going to get, is not necessary. Boy finds out how many swats when it’s over. If the spanking is for something that requires some extra emphasis (in combination with maintenance), or it just feels like there’s a need for it, there could be more swats here, and/or a second round of 400 or so smacks after this phase, followed by another phase of harder swats.    

So guys, I have decided with my dad's permission to share some bits and pieces of email exchages we had, before we go together.  Now these are answers to questions that I had posed (the questions are not included), but I think he explains our dad/son relationship in a clearer way that I can and what is involved or how we put it together.  So you know I have never felt I have been 'beaten' or 'abused' and way at all. It is not for everyone, and I have always felt loved, even when I have been very well spanked or punished. Effective discipline does not have to be brutal, just effective and meaningful. There is a lot of good psychology based on not just what you say, but even more importantly based on what you imply.  I do understand.  The time and place when I take down your jeans and briefs is always only up to your Dad.  That's just how it always will be. Dad will have your briefs and your bottom bare at his discretion and you will come to appreciate the feel of Dad’s hand anytime be it for comfort or a nice sharp sting when you need it.  There will be times when you really don’t want it but a true son says, “Yes, Dad” every time regardless.  You’re not used to that! Yes, I think “we” is the issue.  You’re never going to be spanked without my full participation, including emotionally as it is my hand (most of the time) that is causing you to tear up. Yes, the mainstay of your will be frequent and/or sudden and/or scheduled for you to be hugged and talked with, probably with your sitting on my lap with or without your briefs, before you spent significant time over Dad’s knees Boundaries infractions are the most serious in our relationship, especially as you set the various categories up yourself for your own benefit and future.  As such, when you break one, you will have brought punishment upon yourself and it will be punishment as your Dad does not want you to fail any more than absolutely necessary. Dad, will never hesitate to punish you when you error!  After a few, you’ll become the best little James on earth! Exactly, all boys are different (as are all Dads), yet I suspect I know you well enough that a nice quick trip over Dad’s knees (always on your bare bottom) is what you need most and will respond to. A lot of things will be much clearer for a boy once he has found himself in the position of having stood there as Dad lowers his jeans and briefs and pulls him across his knees for his first real spanking on his bare bottom. Dad has promised to give him really good first one and he will keep that promise for two reasons.  First, boys need to understand what live in a relationship involving domestic discipline is really going to be like given my hand will be tending to his bare bottom regularly over the years.  Second, Dad needs to understand his boy’s reactions to his hand, and of course ultimately to his hairbrush.  It’s not a matter of just slapping a boy’s bare bottom.  Each young man is different.  I do think it is the physical experience of laying over my knees and my hand on your bare bottom . . . that experience will be the best and most emotionally meaningful time that you’ve been waiting for. “protests will go un-noticed” with the exception of that fact that a boy who protests too much always finds that the simple spanking of his bare bottom over Dad’s knees that was going to be just with Dad’s hand, often increases and he will then find himself spanked with Dad’s hand and his paddle or hairbrush depending on his reactions. Similarly, walking too slowly to me will also get you into big trouble, Attempting in any way whatsoever to cover your bare bottom to escape my hand or hinder it in any way will be something you will have to learn to avoid.  Sometimes it will happen without your thinking and be completely involuntary, but it makes no difference what causes you to try to hinder or protect your bare bottom when it’s being spanked.  Your hairbrush will always be within reach and I will pin your arm and use the brush to teach you that lesson.  Careful In every real relationship I’ve ever known of, the first time you do this and you will initially do this automatically without thinking, Dad will stop and hold your hand away from your bare bottom you are trying to protect.  You will be warned about trying to avoid your Dad’s spanking and told that the spanking you are then getting will be significantly worse if you keep it up.  Some Dads will immediately give your bare bottom several significantly slaps with the paddle to remind you that a boy’s bare bottom is for dad’s correction and “enjoyment,” never to be covered unless you are told to. Of course, the hairbrush needs to be where you can see it to remember things and for Dad to reach it when he needs to.  Such is the way it is for naughty boys. The hairbrush really hurts quickly.  When your over dad's knees and Dad wants you yelling and kicking right away, the hairbrush will accomplish that goal very quickly if Dad knows how to use it for that purpose rather than just for overall color.

In this guide, I compile some of my personnel ideas (meaning not everyone may agree) on how to be a good spanker that efficiently meets nice spankee and slowly but surely build a network of spanking friends. I am quite sure this is not perfect because it is the first shot, but here we go ! I The starter kit: The very basic things that you need to know and have I.1 Know what you like and what you want The first things that any spanker should know or ask himself is : "What do I like about spanking ?". This is an important question because you will need to know that in order to set up your profile, and it will determine whether or not it might be a match with people that you could meet. There are many reasons why you may want to be a spanker. This includes: It is a deep rooted kink and you see yourself on the giving end. You have been on the receiving end and want to switch sides. You have a thing for the ritualistic aspect of spanking and punishment. You replay somekind of scene from your past that includes spanking. You have a spanking kink and enjoy being the one that turns other guys spanking fantasies into reality. You genuinly see yourself as a coach or mentor that can apply some strict discipline to errand lads in need of your assistance. You enjoy spanking as a sex foreplay, or as part of a broader BDSM scene, etc. There are many more, all valid reasons, which you can even combine. Having a good knowledge of which types of spanking scenes you like, and also don't like, will be useful to set up your profile and describe what kind of spanking sessions you can propose. I.2 Time and location are of the essence Let's start with location as this is perhaps the most basic requirement for a spanking meeting : it needs to happen somewhere. As such, living in a big cities and close to public transportations will be a great advantage compared to living in more remote areas. If you are in the latter case, you will need to be ready to move around a bit, or accept to welcome people into your home for longer periods of time (more about this later). Regarding the accomodation itself, while this is not mandatory, it is usually the spanker that should host any spanking meeting. Hosting a spanking at your place will always be more comfortable and will give you a psychological ascendant that is always a bonus in a spanker-spankee relationship. Your house should be clean and welcoming. An exception to this, is when you are travelling to another city far from your home. Then, using your hotel room, a B&B, or visiting your spankee at his place is perfectly acceptable. Does that mean that you can't be a good spanker if you can't host spanking at your place ? Not quite, but it is a problem if you can never host. The alternatives have been discussed already: Taking a hotel room. If you do so, avoid the cheapest ones that can really set up a creepy atmosphere. And you should also know, that to some spankees, hotel rooms and love hotels will be a turn off, and a deal breaker. Go spank your spankee at their place if they can host (which is not always the case). Besides from the loose of psychological power and the fact that you may quickly get bored when you put them in the corner, there is no real downside to it. Let's talk time now. Obviously you will need to find the time to meet people, whether it is to invite them at your place, or to travel to them. If you are only available on the 6th of each month between 1pm and 2pm, then between 5:30pm and 6pm, and only on full moon days, you will never meet anyone. You don't need to be available all the time, but you need to have a somewhat stable schedule and to know about it at least a few days in advance. Another thing that you need to know about time and availability is that not all spankings can be scheduled X weeks/monts in advance. For some spankees, the spanking need is a pulsion that comes and go. And when it comes, it needs to be dealt with quickly (as in within the next 2-3 days maximum). So don't plan on scheduling too long in advance with these guys. For others that are always in need of a good spanking, or like to build anticipation, as well as for coaching relationships, scheduling a long time in advance is easier. A last comment about time and location. As a rule of thumb, neither you nor your spankee should spend more time traveling to a session than the lenght of the session itself: You can be a great spanker, if your spankee needs to spend 3h in a train for a 30min session, he will stop coming at some point. Do not spend 4h and a ton of money in a plane/train travel in the hope of meeting a single spankee in a far away city. If you travel specifically for spanking purposes, you should book as many guys as you can because most of them will flake. Even better, if you can, do not travel just for spanking activities: it is better to travel for work, or to meet family and friend, and if some spanking meetings can happen, well it is a bonus ! I.3 Basics of spanking The last thing you need in your starter kit is to know how to spank in a safe and sane setting. This includes: Some basic butt anatomic knowledge to know where to spank and where not to spank. But also some basic sense of body language reading to know where your spankee is in term of mindspace and pain scale. Having a knowledge of BDSM elements such as SSC (safe sane and consensual) and RACK (risk aware consensual kink) is -in my opinion- mandatory. You should also know what "aftercare" is, and learn how to do it properly. This can make the difference between you being a spanker/dad/dom versus being a violent assh0le. Know how to use your hand, and have some of the basic implements that can be found at very low price and present little risks for beginners. The first part about where to spank should be relatively easy. Watch videos, see what other spanker do, and follow this schematic if you are still lost: The second part about reading body langage and knowing where your spankee is in his mindset requires more experience. And I am not going to lie : guys that have been spanked are going to be a lot better at it than any beginner spanker that has never been spanked before. Indeed, beyond the pain that might be inflicted by hand or using implements, spanking is a lot in the head and includes many elements such as humiliation, frustration, regression and abandonment that are quite difficult to understand and to read when one has never experienced them. Regarding the implements. I know for a fact that many beginner doms are overwhelmed and impressed when they see other spankers having tables fully covered with various implements that all look stingy and expensive when you look them up in the internet. I have two things to say about this One, in most cases at least 80% of these implements are crap that is rarely or never used. And two, if you want to be any good at spanking, your hand is your best weapon of choice ! The first spankings you give as a spanker should be mostly hand spankings: your spankee's butt should hurt more than your hand, and this requires training ! At first you might get some blisters and even bleedings. Slow down, keep training and it will improve with time. But you should know that your hand's skin will become less soft ! If you must invest in implements, aim for cheap but safe ones first: Brushes are inexpensive and can be found in any store. Don't buy online, go to the store and feel the wood ! Ping-pong paddles, flip-flops, wood rulers, slippers. If your country has a "national spanking implement", you may want to consider buying one : canes in the UK as well as in many commonwealth countries, a tawse in Scotland, a paddle in the USA and Canada, or a martinet in France. A word of caution on belts: While they are a common implement that is easy to find and can be found in a wide range of prices, it is not a beginner friendly implement ! If you want to use one, the buckle should ALWAYS be in your hand and never used to whip, start with very slow blows and a belt folded one or two times. Lashes shouldn't land anywhere else than the meaty part of the butt. And never apply a hard belting -especially if you don't know what you are doing- on a spankee that moves a lot ! II Setting up a profile that attracts people I am aware that there are many websites and apps to meet potential spankee and where you can set up a profile. This section aims at being generic, but you may need to adapt depending on the website you use most to meet people. II.1 Introducing yourself Your profile is often going to be the first contact that a potential spankee will have with you (and maybe the only one). Therefore, it needs to be as complete and attractive as possible. Furthermore, keep in mind that there are usually more spankers than spankees in a given place, so you will need to have a profile as good if not better than the other guys profiles. The key element of any profile that we will discuss in this section is your profile description, which is usually a few lines long (depending on the website), and is the best place to introduce yourself. If it is empty (or mostly empty), or if it isn't attractive, chances are you will struggle to meet anyone. The basic information that any profile description should contain (if they are not already displayed in other fields): Your location Who you are : your age, a basic physical description (height, weight, body type), and your experience if possible A description of what you like and what you are looking for (see I.1) Who you are looking for : age range, body type, are you straight friendly or not, etc. Any hard limits that you have (if there is space left): e.g. not into scenarios, no blood, no sex, etc. A few pitfalls to avoid in your profile description: Having a description that is very specific about what you want to do to your potential spankees, but says nothing about you or who you want to meet. It will mostly attract wankers, but you will never meet them. Example: "I will pull your pants down and spank you very hard on your bare bottom like a little boy. Then, you will go to the corner with your red butt for everyone to see, and you will wait for me to come trash your ass with my very large leather belt !" Having a description that makes you sound like a dead German philosopher. This is cool if you want to meet only people with at least 5 years of higher education, but everyone else will flee in terror. Example: "Spanking is a wonderful voyage where physical pain meets the spiritual extasy of endorphins and shame, all colliding together until your body and mind submit to the punishment, and at last you will know peace." Having a description that says nothing. Example: "Hello, I am Patrick, I am a 38yo writter. I like all sorts of boys. So, I want to meet like-minded guys that share my spanking interest and are staying nearby." Copy-pasting the description of another spanker of switch (partly or everything). You don't want people to believe that you have no personnality, or worst that you are a catfish. Eventually, depending on who contacts you and your success rate, you will figure out what is wrong with your description. Does it give too many details ? Not enough ? Is it missing something ? It will all come together. II.2 Posting pictures on your profile Whenever it is possible, it is usually a good thing to have pictures on your profile as it is a good way to show others what you like, and what you do. Your profile picture is perhaps the only picture that you will have to decide on nearly all applications and meeting websites. So pick wisely. It can be a face picture, a picture of your hand, a picture of an implement, one of your spanking picture, a drawing, or a spanking picture you like. My advice on profile picture would be that it is important to have one. Anything with even a few information about you is better than nothing. Then, you have the other pictures (think pictures albums in spankthishookups, or the pictures you share here on southspanking). These pictures are very important because they will tell A LOT about what you like, sometimes even more than your description ! If you post a lot of corner time pictures, it will emplies that you enjoy doing it. Lots of pictures with canes, you are a cane user ! Mostly badly bruised asses, then you like to give it hard ! Spanked asses with a zoom on butt holes, you might not be "straight guy friendly" ! You get the idea. And this is true even if the pictures you use are not your own. This leads us to two other points : What to do if you have very few or no pictures of your own ? And how to carefully choosing the captions with your pictures. If you don't have your own spanking pictures (or if they are not great), there is always the possibility of having pictures of implements that you like. A picture of your hand, or your knees. A shot of your chair with a belt carefully placed on the side. Use your imagination, and with the right captions, you can probably make pictures that will reflect on what you like. Alternatively, you can also use pictures from studios or from other spankos, but don't forget to credit them ! You may also put them in an album called "My method from web pictures", or "things I like". The worst thing that you can do when using others pictures, is not crediting and claiming them as your own, and their is a bonus if you add a dumb caption below explaining how YOU spanked this guy so hard. Since we are on the topic of captions, it is one of these rare case where no caption is better than a bad caption. A picture alone is relatively open to interpretation depending on whom sees it. On the other hand, if you add a caption, then the picture becomes what you say it is. "I spanked this little slut until he begged, and only then i let him suck my dick" is a good example of a bad caption that ruins the mood with this picture. Remember that you will attract people that can identify with what you post. And alternatively, you will repell people for which what you post is beyond their limits or not to their taste. And it will happen even before you can exchange a single message ! My advice is: unless you are almost exclusively into practices that you know are non-consensual or divisive : try to stay neutral and consensual with the pictures you post and their captions. III Getting in touch with spankees III.1 Contacting first or letting them contact you ? This is a difficult question and it will depend on how well you are established, and the number of potential spankees around you. That being said, no matter your experience, it costs you nothing to send a message to a new comer or a spankee you are interested in. The rules to do so are simple: read his profile, and if you don't see anything obvious that suggests that you may not be a match, send a message. The message should be polite, and if you are not inspired, it can be an extended version of your profile description with the needed adaptations to what the lad you are interested in seems to be into. You may also add to your message some potential availability and a more specific location than in your profile. As you may not get a second chance, take your time to write it and proof-read it. If you are established enough (you already have a good reputation -even as a spankee-, a pool of spankees, and a profile that works), you can wait for people to message you. But you should know that you will get less hits and not necessarily the ones you are the most interested in. Waiting is also a good option if you have only little availability. III.2 Know when to stop messaging It can be frustrating to send messages and get no answer at all. And even more to exchange a few messages and then no more answers without any warning, or even : the guy blocks you for no obvious reason. Even if it can seem quite rude to you, there are probably reasons behind it: With a new comer that is in his 20s: it is likely that every single spanker in the area sent him a message at the same time as you did. That's a lot of messages. Yours didn't make it. Try again in a week or two if you sees that his profile is still active. He is part of these guys with a beginner profile since 5 years: It's not you, they never answer any messages. There is no profile picture, the age in the description is 2 years behind the profile age. No need to try to reach them again, it is a waste of time. You exchanged a few messages. He asked you how you wanted to spank him. You explained with many details. And then he stops answering. Most likely he had a great time in front of his screen reading about your spanking scenario, he jerked off and doesn't need you anymore. It is nothing personnal, he wasn't ready. Try again in a few months. In any case, unless it is with a regular, if a guy doesn't answer you after 2-3 messages while his account seems to be active or if you know that he did receive your messages; it means that he is not interested. So, stop messaging. You don't want to be that sticky guy that sends messages every days. IV Improve your skills and grow your network IV.1 Invest and improve your skills With time and if all goes well, you should get at least one, or a few regular spankees. Having regular is a good opportunity to improve your skills both with implements, but also on the psychological side of spanking. As they learn to trust you, your regulars will be more open about what they like or not during their sessions with you. Take the time to listen and learn ! Remember that -unlike what some morons think- spanking as any BDSM activities is mostly about what the sub/spankee needs and enjoy. Your spankees will also open up more about their deeper spanking desires, and most likely will be willing or even asking for harder sessions. Use this to progress with your skills and explore new things with them. Speaking of harder sessions, if you did not already, you should learn how to do a proper aftercare. Basically, you don't make a guy cry or push him beyond his limits and push him out of your flat in 5min right after the spanking is over. The more you push, the more you should spend time soothing them and taking care of them after the spanking is over. Soothing cream, warm blankets, hugs, massages, hot cocoa and cookies might prove useful. It is also curtuous to ask if everything is well 24 to 48h after the session: mental breakdowns can happen even after they have left your place. And knowing if the eventual bruises are healing well is an important information. Keep in mind that in your learning process you will make mistakes, and not everything will work for both parties. But this is a good thing, because you will know what not to do next time to make your sessions better. As time passes and you meet more people, you can also surely but surely invest into new spanking implements. I usually suggest not to invest into anything expensive unless you have lots of requests for it from locals spankees, or if the request comes from a regular. I also suggest to put the price rather than buying a crappy toy that makes a lot of noise, doesn't hurt much, and will be destroyed after only a few slaps. For my good toys, I personally like https://www.cane-iac.com/ , but I know they can be expensive! IV.2 Respect the limits: your spankees' limits, but also yours I mentionned a few times the importance of safe, sane and consensual meetings when it comes to spanking, as well as the need to be careful when searching for profiles that match your needs. Nevertheless I will insist that one of the key to becoming a successful spanker is to respect the limits of the people you will meet ! A spanker or dom that consider that he does what he wants to a sub/spankee is a bad dom/spanker, this is wrong, can lead to pursuit, and at least will give you a very bad reputation. I will push things further by saying that a good spanker/dom should insist that his potential spankee/sub gives him some hard limits. A spankee/sub that doesn't know or doesn't have any limits is a disaster waiting to happen and you should avoid meeting him. Limits to ask for include: Sex or no sex. This one should always be discussed before any meeting. And yes, a surprise finger in the butt counts as sex, and can be very much unwanted even if your spankee is gay ! Severity of the bruises, especially if the guy tells you he is partnered. And it is your role to know how to handle your implements, and to stop (or abort the session early) before crossing any fixed limit Pain : do we remain soft, do we push you to your pain limit ? a bit beyond your limit ? do we turn you into a crying mess ? A word of advice : don't cross their pain limit if you are not great with aftercare. Nudity and physical contact: some straight lads are very strict about this. Drawing blood: Sanitize your implements well if you do it. (you should sanitize them anyway, but even more carefully if you draw blood). There is no such thing as a spankee with too many limits. If he has too many limits to your taste, then don't meet him. And finally, you may ask for some limits to be pushed -slowly-, but it is best to do it only with spankees you already know, and if they say no, then you should respect their refusal. We have discuss a lot the limits of potential people you will meet, but you should also consider yours. A common issue of beginner to mid-experienced spanker is that they tend to accept any spankee so long as he is young and has a very cute butt, even though said good-looking spankees are asking for something very far from the spanker interests. It is sometimes difficult, but you should no to refuse a cute spankee if what he asks doesn't match with what you are looking for. If you still meet regardless of the poorly matching profile, either or both of you may end up being dissapointed with the session. Please note that the same can happen when you get lots of demands: follow your guts and refuse meeting that yhou know deep down will not work. Less meetings is better than lots of bad ones. IV.3 Networking and reputation As they will gain momentum, your network and your reputation will be your main tools to meet new lads, some of which might not have accepted to meet you before. A spankeed satisfied with your session is your best ambassador ! Do not hesitate to ask your regulars if it is okay to use them as references for guys that are hesitant to meet you. Treat them with respect, and always ask their permission to post their pictures or videos on your profile : it is their butt that is going to be on the internet for tghe world to see, not yours ! Their spanked ass will be your visit card, so you must be grateful to them, and respect their wishes if they want some picture or caption to be changed or removed at any point. Treating your network well is part of growing your reputation, and it takes only a few disgrunted spankees to ruin years of hard work building your reputation. So be extra cautious and on your toes about this. What about other spankers in your areas ? Well, you should also try your best to maintain neutral to good relation with them ! First, it takes several spankees and spankers to organize spanking parties.  Other spankers are also a good source of information to know which lads are flakes, who is a wanker, and even to share information about what works or not about spankees you have in common (with their consent, always). Furthermore, as we mentionned in section I, everyone has different tastes and availability. In other words, you can send them spankees that are not a match for you, and you may expect them to do the same. Petty jealousy with another spanker "because he gets all the spankees", or "because he spanked X last week so now he can't meet with me", or "because he has a more intimate/different relationship with Y" is generally a bad idea. Very few spankees are exclusive, so their is a good chance that you will have your turn if you are a good match too. Asking a spankee to choose between 2 spankers he likes is also a bad idea because even if he chooses you, your relationship will be damaged. In the same vein, a bit of teasing between spankers is okay, but blattant and free provocation between spankers should be avoided: any spankees involved will notice and it won't look good. It is even worst if other members of the community notice, and too much teasing will make you the bad guy, which can also damage your reputation. Lastly, slandering or speaking ill of another spanker should be avoided: at some point someone will notice that it was a lie, most likely his network of spankos will speak out, and it won't do you any good. The only situations where it is acceptable to warn other members of the community about a spanker and to give him a bad reputation include: You know for a fact that he doesn't respect consent and has broken hard limits about sex, bruises or drawing blood. in other words, he is violent and or dangerous. Even in this case, you should rather push spankees that were the victims to speak out first. Minors are involved.

When it comes to spanking sessions, we all have some great memories, some not so great, and sometimes horrible ones. In this blog, I will discuss what to do as a spankee after a spanking session that did not really go as you expected. We will review several possible issues ranging from lack of communication, casting errors, improvised session, unexperienced spanker, flat of nightmare, to down right abuse and rape. There is a gradation in the ways a spanking session could unfold in a way that you didn’t like. Sometimes simple communication with your spanker will solve the problem and your next spankings will be better and better : Like with sex, the first time with a new partner is rarely the best and it takes some time to adjust. Other cases are going to be a bit more complicated : you may have incompatible expectations, he may not be very experienced, or perhaps you did not discuss enough before the meeting. In this case, you may be able to find some common ground if your communication is good, but you may also consider that he isn’t and will never be your type of spanker. And finally, the last case: red flags such as abuse, breach of consent, disrespect for your limits, etc. In this case, flee this spanker and you should consider at least discussing your misadventure with other community members to avoid other going through the same situation, and even sometimes taking your case in front of a court of law. Below is a list of things in the 3 categories mentioned and that are in no particular order of gradation. Things that should be easy to fix if you discuss with your spanker before your next meeting The punishment did not include scenaristic elements or implements that you enjoy The spanking was too light/fast/short The spanking was a bit too hard, but there were no unwanted bruises. He went for an unrealistic roleplay that was not to your liking He did not talk much/enough, and you prefer a verbal spanker He used certain positions, side punishments or instruments that you don’t particularly enjoy He has bad breath and keeps talking very close to your face. He was too nosy about your private life. He faced slapped you without discussing it before Things that may or may not be fixed : He went off course with the scenario you agreed upon. He was insisting on having more than a spanking with you, despite you having clearly said no. You like sex with your spanking, he does not. He clearly did not know what he was doing / he had no experience: implements used too high and/or with weird intensities. The punishment made no sense at all. He kept you butt naked (or naked) way too long before/after/during your punishment and you were very uncomfortable with it. (e.g.: butt naked tea in the middle of your spanking, or a 2h break while talking about the current state of the world). It is not a fit when it comes to body stature. Him or his place were quite dirty and it grossed you out You had way more bruises than what you discussed Other people were here and he did not tell you before hand He lied on his age and/or physical shape. Things that you shouldn’t accept : don’t go back, and report him at least to other community members He filmed you without your consent or with a hidden camera (see my blog on taking pictures for other things that you shouldn’t accept). He got naked and it was clearly not part of what you agreed on. He touched you in ways you explicitly told him that you didn’t want. He ignored the safe word you agreed on, or when you did not consent. The spanking was bloody and it was not at all what you agreed on (and we are not talking about a scratched/ruptured pimple … this can happen) He was clearly drunk or under use when you came to his place He forced you to drink or to use any kind of drug before/during your session : if this happened and any of the other points in this category came up too, then you should consider legal action. He raped you : you must consider legal action. While this blog seems to focus on what the spanker can do wrong, please remember that communicating his desires anf limits is something that only the spankee can do. It would be unfair to blame a spanker for doing something wrong in points from categories 1 and 2 if you failed to communicate properly. With MM spanking falling in the grey area of "consented violence" between adults, communication before and after a meeting is extremely important to reduce de risk of misunderstanding and low quality to bad experience : You need to be two to have a conversation and communicate.

Some thoughts on spanking technique. As a switch, obviously, I approach spanking from both sides. And of course everyone is different; has different preferences for positions and implements, different fantasies, different levels of pain tolerance. To have a successful spanking encounter, that will likely be repeated, it’s important for the spanker to get and act on some basic information from the boy, because if he gets what he both wants and dreads in his heart of hearts, he’ll be satisfied and want to do it again and again. Assuming he really is “into this” ...there are guys out there who have it in their head they want to get spanked but in reality they have no stomach, or rather, butt, for it. There are some common elements, though, that usually help make it work. For shorthand, written from the top’s perspective. Know what fantasy elements you’re going to do. Most guys like at least a little bit of a context of punishment; it can go all the way from just an attitude to a full on role play scenario. And it’s not always age play, like father/son or teacher pupil. Some guys like to be dominated by a peer or master. You need to find this out. I believe that the best tops are very versatile; it’s the bottoms that have particular needs. Of course, again, everyone’s different, so there are exceptions even to that. Warm up. Start skin to skin, bare hand to bare bottom, hard but not too hard, and spank for a few minutes, then take a break. This gets endorphins flowing. This can be OTK, but it doesn’t have to be. If he prefers standing, bend him over a stool or back of a couch and spank him in that position, but with your hand first. Don’t pitty pat… spank pretty hard; hard enough to get a red bloom on his butt. (Very dark skin doesn’t redden, but the color deepens). Give him a break, to let this sink in, even though you’ve just started. Two or three minutes is enough. Corner time or standing against a wall if it feels right. Then switch to what gets him cranking. Whether it’s a paddle, strap, belt, cane, whip, or whatever, introduce the implements and use them in sessions, not switching back and forth too often. Maintain a steady rhythm when spanking. Rhythm is extremely important, and one of the areas where a lot of spankers fall down on the job. Bursts and interruptions for butt rubbing may be appreciated by some guys, but mostly, in my experience, not. Find a groove. Where there’s enough pain that you’re getting vocal feedback, even a little squirming, but where you can spank and keep on spanking. Only make him count if you know that works for him. Some guys really don’t like it; it’s a distraction. The spanker can count, silently, if it helps. Implements relate to velocity. You can spank fast with hand, paddle, brush, even belt and strap. Slower, more like swats, if standing, with a paddle, cane, switch, birch, flogger, cat or other whip, etc. If you’re spanking OTK, it really helps to spank steadily and not too slow. It doesn’t have to be as hard as you can, because even a fairly moderate level of intensity will build to a rip roaring red ass after 200 or 300 smacks… and that’s not too many. If you don’t do it this way, try it. Even 500 or 600 is quite doable with most guys if they’re real spankos. Rotate to other implements in increasing order of intensity; you might give little or even longer breaks in between, depending on how long and intense a spanking it is. This is really basic, but it’s important: avoid anywhere near the coccyx, distribute your smacks, licks or swats so both cheeks are equally covered (remember that the cheek farther away gets more leverage, so you need to adjust to make sure you aren’t focusing too much on it and not enough on the other one). Spank the sit spot, but not only the sit spot. Spank the upper thighs, but only if you know that works for him; some guys really just don’t like it, and sure, your job is to punish his butt, but in the end we all do this because we want it, and if somebody consistently does something we hate, it’s not conducive to a good spanking relationship. Generally, build. Sometimes ease off a little then pour it on; don’t want to be too predictable, but most times the logical progression is towards a climax, where the ending is very intense, right up to the edge of what he can take, and stay at that edge as long as you can. This may only be a few swats, or it may be half the spanking. It just depends. I always feel that an adult male spanking that doesn’t last a good ten minutes isn’t quite successful. Some can last much, much longer. And last but not least, don't forget Aftercare. A quick hug, some more extended holding or massaging, or even helping him get release... it depends on you (and him), but a little sign that you care about him and his experience is part of it. 

Anyone remember this video from the old GuySpank site? Guess that's long gone now. Always looked like an interesting one.

I am starting a new private blog.  https://spankingideasnew.blogspot.com/?m=1 There is a contact form on the home page of the blog to request membership

What do all you spankees think about during a spanking? Do you think about anything? Do you think about the pain and wonder when it will be over? Are you so overwhelmed by the pain that you can't think about anything? Do you get lost in the pain? Are you thinking about anything else to escape the pain? Personally, I wonder when the spanking will end in the beginning. But as my spanking gets more intense, I just get lost in the continual pain and just float on the waves of pain. Eventually, I feel calm as my endorphins kick in. Please give me honest, candid answers! I'm curious whether others feel the same things that I do.

Okay, so I was asked to post this by my Dad.  So for privavcy reasons, I have removed all personal information and changed the names of those involved.     Dear Ryan,   I am very pleased to hear you have finally decided to take Billy in hand, from what you have told me, he is need of some good old-fashioned discipline.  You asked me how I discipline Jamie, well hopefully my answer may prove useful to you as you begin this new stage of your relationship.   The fact of the matter is there are many boys out there, that have missed out on discipline and will respond well to it. Never hesitate to prove that tough love and clear direction will provide him with the security, dependability and reassurance he needs.   Jamie and Billy are both naughty boys, and as such they must be treated and disciplined as naughty boys and that means SPANKINGS!    When you decide to spank Billy, there should be an objective in mind. The best objective is to spank him hard enough and long enough to produce, begging and pleading for the discontinuance of the punishment. Depending on the boy there may very well be real tears present.   Let us assume, Billy is now standing in front of you, as you sit on your spanking chair.  Scold him and let him know how disappointed you are with his behaviour and tell him he is going to be punished.   Now bare his bottom yourself for punishment, take his pants and briefs down and put him across your own lap.   With Billy over your lap, you should take the opportunity to lecture him, constantly pointing out the reasons for the punishment and the fact that the punishment is well deserved. Allow him to speak freely and openly over your lap, but no matter what he confesses to or how sincere his promises are, the spanking will take place anyway   During this lecture period, his bare bottom should be rubbed and patted frequently with your hand.   Once his spanking begins, do not be moved by his actions and responses during his spanking. No matter what he says simply continue to spank him, he is after all being punished.   Using just your hand start to slap his bare bottom softly and sensually, enjoy watching it bounce and his movements as he tries to avoid the stinging.   Pick up the pace now as rosy red marks begin to appear, spank him slowly, building up, but longer, harder and deeper watching as his bare bottom squirms and wriggles.    Now spank those more tender areas at the bottom of his cheeks and the upper parts of his inner thighs. Stop frequently but briefly as you again lecture and scold him,    Only stop spanking him, when a solid promise has been made from him. which will satisfy you and also be grounds for future spankings of a similar type should the promise be broken.   After his spanking, leave him dangling over your knees, for some length of time to meditate upon his punishment. Review the reason for his spanking, and the promise he made while being spanked. Rub and pat his bare bottom and assure him that if he does it again, he will be spanked again only harder and longer.   Once you have finished, he will need time with his bottom nicely on display as he stands in the corner. Stand him there with his pants and briefs down around his ankles, his freshly spanked and very red bottom on display.   Your next responsibility is to provide aftercare and assurances that he is just fine.  Take a lot of time here, with hugs and pats … you will figure that out yourself as with each dad and Boy it is very personal and incredibly bonding.   So that is pretty much how I punish Jamie’s bare bottom, these days and it simply works!    Oh, and yes, I have agreed that Jamie can visit Europe by himself, visiting a German uncle and Dutch dad that he knows.    Am I worried about that?   Not at all, I know these gentlemen will do a fine job of keeping my boy in line and provide discipline when he needs it.  I have told him that when he staying with them, he is to obey their rules and they have my blessing to administer punishment as they see fit.   PS – Surprise!  I am going to ask both of them to administer his weekly review and punishment sessions in my absence!  He maybe on vacation, but I don’t want him slipping into bad habits!    Do you think they will agree?     Take care and all my very best wishes to both you and Billy.     Daddy D.  

**Note I do not endorse this in any way at all and I plead the 5th to any expereince of this method** For the sake of continuity within this senario, I shall call the naughty boy Max. So Dad you have a naughty Max for the evening and it is your duty to see to his emotional and physical needs, as he has been naughty, this means punishment! How to begin? Start by taking down Max's jeans, all the way to his ankles, and then have him sit on a chair opposite you. Now it is time to discuss Max's naughtiness and get to the bottom of things as it were. Let him talk it all out, and discuss with him how he can do better in the future. After you have done this, explain it is now time for his punishments. Take Max by the ear and place him nose first in a convenient corner, its usually fairy easy to do, and leave him there thinking for about 10 minutes. After those 10 minutes are up, go to his corner and while scolding him on his naughty behaviour spank his brief covered bottom, about 25 good hand spanks should do it. Retire to your chair and tell Max not to move out of the corner until given permission. Enjoy a glass of wine or read your newspaper as Max stands there with his nose to the wall, waiting and waiting and waiting ... At your leisure, go back to Max's corner and slowly take his briefs down until they are at hs knees, his jeans should be at ankles and briefs at his knees. Now hand spank his bare bottom, double it up now and make it 50 good hard ones, all while he stands in the corner. Scold naughty Max, and explain that from now on he is going to spanked regularly and spend lots of time with his nose in the corner. Leave him for another 15 - 20 minutes. Once you are satisifued he has done enough thinking time, go to to his corner, take him by the ear and lead him to the spanking chair. When you put Max over your knees, make sure his head is well down, nose to the floor and his legs free to kick in the air, like the naughty boy he is. Now tan his buns good and hard, ignore pleas and promises, just get down to a good old fashioned, long and hard dad to son bare bottom spanking. Once the tears begin, you will know you are making progress, still its not enough.  Elevate the boy further over you lap, and spank his sit spots, thighs where it will do him the most good.  Contiune spanking until he goes limp over your lap. At this point you can lift Max up and sit him in your lap, and tenderly discuss his behaviour again, together and set some new rules for him. Next back in the corner he goes, nose to the wall and NO RUBBING - if he rubs, put him back over your knees and start all over again. While Max is in the corner, run him a bath, and then finally bathe him - take good care of that ever so hot and red bottom! Dress him in his shorts pajama set for bed .. and then of course spank him again before tucking him in for the night. Tell Max, in the morning he had better be in the corner by 8am, and he is confined to tee shirt only for the whole day! Get the paddle and set in on the spanking chair. Start all over again! So on Friday, start with hand, Saturday Paddle and Sunday Hairbrush :) - A nice weekend of punishment and spanking!          

©2023 Need2botk It was a very memorable day, the day I got my ass spanked for the very first time and I have to admit it, that spanking was more than 30 years overdue.  Although I was threatened with spankings all the time growing up, I never actually got one!  However, I was fascinated with spanking as long as I can remember.  I loved watching my buddies get spanked when I was a teen.   In fact I've been jerking off to the thought of getting spanked, or thinking about the spankings I’ve witnessed since I was 11 years old.  The one thing that has really turned me on is is thinking about the added shame of a much younger guy spanking me! Then one day I got an online message that said "I'm young and I spank!"  It was from a 23 year old guy that we'll call Matthew and he was offering to give me the real spanking I'd been fantasizing about for so many years!   He was really excited about the prospect of stripping a 47 year old man buck ass naked and putting him just where he belonged, ass up over his knees, for a good sound bare bottom spanking.  He said he likes spanking older men, with nice meaty butts, and from the pictures I sent him, he said I had the “perfect target“.   We missed several attempts at meeting but finally connected that Thursday afternoon.  I was extremely nervous about being spanked,  but Matthew tried to make me feel comfortable.  At least as comfortable as possible for my first time, but to be blunt, I was scared shitless!  This was the first time someone was going to strip me!  Yep, I was going to get spanked naked!  I had no idea what to expect.  I had spanked my own ass many times before, just to see what a spanking might feel like, but this was different.  This was the real thing. I wasn't in control this time.  I was worried he was going to whack my ass a few times and I would change my mind. I didn't want to look like a wimp and was hoping I'd be able to take a hard enough spanking to satisfy this young man.   I figured I had to do this, and since I told him previously that this might be a good day to meet, I just got in my truck and headed toward Matthew's house, figuring I'd call him in route.  I got to his house and was still unable to contact him by phone.  I couldn't believe this!  I had actually worked up the courage to meet up with a guy to give me my first real spanking and he wasn’t home!   I had chatted with a lot of guys that wanted to spank me but I never followed through and actually scheduled a time to meet before.   I wanted to get spanked so bad!  I needed a spanking!  I deserved to have my ass spanked red hot!  After a couple more attempts to call him,  I headed to a store, about 15 minutes from his house to waste some time.  My dick was semi hard the entire time I was in the store and my balls ached just thinking about the spanking I might be in for.  I aimlessly roamed around the store for an hour, the excitement in my crotch and balls, building as I waited.  I tried calling again, my stomach churning and my dick throbbing at the prospect of him answering the phone.  Still no answer!     I wanted to be stripped naked and bent over his knees and spanked so bad!  I had left the store and was headed back toward his house when he finally answered the phone.  I told him I was nearby and asked if he still wanted to to this.  It was like music to my ears when I heard him say "definitely!"  He had previously sent me some photos of himself, but I figured they were pictures of someone else because he looked like a model.  He looked so hot I figured he couldn't possibly be interested in spanking an older guy like me, but when I saw him standing in the driveway waiting for me I realized the pictures he sent were real!  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I found out later he actually was a model and had done some spanking porn before!  I grabbed the bag out of the truck with my paddles, a video camera and the butt plug he told me to bring with. As soon as we got inside, he got right down to the task at hand and said lets go upstairs.  He just came home from work and was dressed in black dress pants and a white long sleeve shirt.  He took off his shoes and rolled up his shirtsleeves as I set up the video camera to record my first ass spanking. Unlike me - he was so calm and knew exactly what he was doing.  He had me stand in front of him as he pulled my shirt out of my jeans shorts and then up over my head, setting it down on the dresser.  Then I felt his fingertips starting to unfasten my belt buckle, unbutton my shorts and lower the zipper.  Before I knew it, I was stepping out of my jeans shorts, and they were put on the dresser with my shirt.   I was starting to get hard, just like I hoped I would.  Matthew sat down on the bed and me pulled over one knee.  He rubbed my brief clad butt and started to hand spank me.  They were easy smacks, but I think he spent more time feeling the shape and curves of my butt cheeks through my tighty whities.  I wanted to just start humping his leg, but modesty got the best of me and I restrained myself and just laid there submissively.  My legs were shaking uncontrollably and I remember him telling me to relax that I was in good hands. How could I possibly relax?  I just let a guy I never met before strip me down to my briefs,  and I was bent over his knees getting a spanking.  I had never let anyone strip me before and I had never been spanked before.  There was no way I could relax!   The slow soft hand spanks turned into harder faster spanks.  I can remember how nervous I was but at the same time it felt so good laying over this young man's knees, letting him give me that spanking I only dreamed about before. After about 50 hand spanks on my tighty whities, he told me to get up again.  As I obediently stood before him,  I felt his fingertips slip under the elastic waistband of my briefs.  It felt so weird as I sensed his fingertips slide down my flanks as he lowered my briefs and told me to step out of them.   Except for the socks which I forgot about, I was buck ass naked!  Totally bare!   Completely exposed!  There was no being modest anymore, I was naked and under the control of a guy half my age. And I was getting spanked!   He didn’t bother to turn me around to look at how red my ass was.  Nope.  Matthew just pulled me back over his knee, buck ass naked for another spanking.   As humiliating as it was, I wanted to be right where Matthew had me, my naked butt sticking up just begging to be spanked.   I had dreamed of this day so many times, I couldn‘t believe it was actually happening!   The whole thing was so surreal. He hand smacked my bare butt about another 50 times and then I felt him reach underneath me to fondle my dick and balls.  No one had ever touched my dick or balls before!   Usually I am rock hard when it comes to spanking but I was so nervous meeting someone in person to give me my very first real spanking my dick had gone limp with fear.  Between my thoughts of how great this feels,  I wondered if he’d be some sort of nut case.  I wondered if I was going to be safe.   I wondered a lot of things, but most of all I kept wondering if I'd be able to take the kind of spanking I deserved.  A spanking that would leave my butt sore for days.  A real spanking.  He picked up my first paddle, a small pine board drilled with smaller holes.  It was one of the first paddles I made.  I thought back to the time I was in my wood shop, as stood naked, cutting, shaping and sanding that paddle, testing it out on my own backside as it progressed.  I was thinking about how hard my dick was as I carefully drilled each and every hole in that pine board hoping they would help that paddle sizzle my ass. Matthew gave me a couple swats with that pine paddle and rubbed my ball sac again with his hand.  He did what I often do when spanking myself and he rubbed the edge of the paddle through my butt crack.  I must have shuddered and my legs were shaking cause he told me again,  to "just relax"  and pulled both my legs up onto his lap.  I was now laying over both knees with my feet and head on the bed.   God, the feeling was incredible, here I was at last, just like I fantasized about, bare ass naked, over a young mans knees, my naughty butt sticking up in the air just begging him to spank me harder.  Begging him to spank me more, armed with a wooden paddle I personally made for someone like him to blister my ass with.  I kept thinking back to how he told me his own dad used to paddle his ass when he was a kid, and here I was, buck naked, over his knees with my ass just begging for a spanking.  I wondered how he felt having my ass over his lap, turning red, turning hot.  I wondered how he felt having me under his complete control, having a guy old enough to be his own dad laying submissively over his knees so that he could spank me like a naughty little boy.   I gently humped his leg sticking my ass up offering it to him to discipline.  I needed to be spanked, I deserved to be spanked,  I wanted to be spanked.  I hope he got some additional satisfaction knowing he was giving me what I craved. Knowing he was the first one to ever spank my ass! Fifty-four bare ass paddle swats later he switched to another one of my homemade paddles. I made several paddles hoping that a guy like him would put them to use spanking my butt.   A narrow maple paddle without holes.  Some of the paddle companies call it a ruler paddle.  This paddle tends to bruise my butt since it's relatively heavy and it concentrates the sting in a narrow band.  Matthew was using it on my butt, practically  right from the start.  I knew I was going to be sore.  After the first few swats I said how much that paddle stung.  Watching the video afterwards, I noticed he started to set the paddle down, but I knew I needed it, and said "that’s okay - keep going".  He eagerly picked the paddle back up and re-applied it to my heinie.  Some rapid fire, hard swats ensued as he clenched his arm firmly around my waist and held on tight.  He gave me 56 swats with that narrow maple paddle.  God did he ever know how to spank!   I was ordered to stand up again and lean against the bed bent at the waist.  He grabbed my legs and spread them, making my cock and balls visible as he proceeded to give me forty three good hard swats with a cherry frat style paddle drilled with holes.   He was swinging that paddle so hard and fast, I could hear the air whistling through it as the swats approached that target - my naked butt. Each swat set my butt cheeks jiggling making him want to spank me even more.  I can only imagine the incredible view he had as the paddle flattened my cheeks on impact,  and made them bounce back into shape for another swat.  I can only imagine how good he felt knowing he was burning my butt, making it redder and hotter with each swat of the paddle.  Giving me the spanking I needed.  Giving me the spanking I deserved.  I'm sure that seeing my butt bounce like that, knowing it had never been spanked before, seeing my it turn red like that, and hearing my grunts and groans made him want to paddle me even more, paddle me harder, paddle me faster.  He continued to rub my bottom with his hand, feeling the heat, feeling the burn.  Once again I felt the edge of that paddle slide between my red hot butt cheeks, right through my crack.  I stuck my butt out to open up my crack for him, making myself feel so vulnerable as he slid that paddle over my boy hole, but I needed to feel the humiliation of being so exposed.  He must have known from personal experience just what that felt like. The feelings were so incredible, as he alternated between rubbing my butt cheeks with his hand, rubbing my crack with the edge of the paddle, fondling my dangling balls and still limp dick and of course spanking me.  This was the first time I was ever touched there by another guy.  The physical contact forced me to think about just how exposed I was and what a sight I must have been standing there bent over, naked with my butt thrust out, just begging for that spanking! Matthew stopped spanking me for a moment.  Just long enough to unbutton his own shirt and slip it off.   I had to get a look since the sight of another guy's abs and pecs turns me on almost as much as looking at his butt.   He went back to hand spanking me in that same position, bent over the bed.   He stopped spanking me again and walked in front of me so I could see him pulling his belt out of the belt loops on his pants.   I got butterflies in my stomach thinking he was going to give me an old fashioned belt licking, just like my dad often threatened to give me when I was a kid, but he put the belt down as he had other ideas in mind.  He slipped down those black dress pants to reveal a pair of light blue bikini briefs.    The briefs fit him nicely, clinging to his own backside, accentuating the firmness of his own youthful posterior.  The thin material stretched deep into his crack, and the pouch in front was filled out nicely.  It was exciting watching him.  I was buck ass naked getting spanked and my spanker was stripping down too.  He walked back over to where I was leaning against the bed and told me to lay on the bed on my back.  I noticed a darker wet spot on the front of his briefs. The boy was leaking precum!   Paddling my ass was really turning him on!  I was worried he wasn't having a good time since I was just laying there not saying much.  I wanted to squirm and howl, but I didn't want to fake it.  I wanted my responses to be real, and I knew that soon enough he'd be spanking me faster and harder and real reactions would come out.  He looked so hot standing there in his briefs, wet with precum.   He stood there for about a minute letting me size him up, before he slipped down those briefs and took them off, leaving himself bare too.   His backside was small and firm, just the way I like,  and his cock bigger than mine, hanging down with a hefty set of balls beneath it.  I was intrigued, to say the least, as I looked at that perfect specimen of a backside, and thought about his descriptions of how his dad paddled his bare bottom when he misbehaved.     I had never been bare with another guy where I was able to openly stare at his nakedness.  The only time I’d been naked with another guy was in a locker room situation where a quick glance was all that was acceptable.  I was really enjoying the view in front of me.  I would have liked to see it spanked red, but it wasn’t his bottom that was getting spanked.  It was mine.  I didn't get to stare too long as he got up on the bed next to me, facing my feet and swung one leg over my torso.  This was awesome! I was staring right at that sweet butt of his!   I had told him in my emails, that one time when I was in college, a friend of mine who still got spanked by his dad, was changing to go swimming with me.  This guy had the most spankable little butt I ever saw, and when he bent over to slip on his swimsuit, his butt crack must have spread open and I caught a whiff of his ripe little heinie!  When I got home that night, I took a kleenex and wiped my own butt crack with it so I could sniff it while I jerked off imagining that sweet butt of his getting spanked.  I thought about how the aroma of his crack might fill the air as he was over his dad's knees, with his legs spread wide and a paddle fanning his musky little butt hole.  Ever since that day, I would sniff my own dirty briefs or something I wiped through my own butt crack as I jerked off thinking about spankings I've witnessed.  God how I loved the smell of butt crack!  That sweet aroma always made me think of naked butts, and naked butts always made me think about spanking.  A few times when I was camping with this guy, I'd wait until he left the tent to shower, and I'd find his dirty briefs or boxers.  They always smelled so incredible, so ripe and musky.  I'd jerk off humping my pillows imagining him coming back into the tent, catching me naked, playing with myself, sniffing his dirty undies and then punish me with a good hard spanking.  He knew I never got spanked before, and often made comments about how he’d like to whip my ass. He'd say things like "Keep it up mister, and you're gonna get it", or "Just wait until we get home", or "Don't make me beat your ass in front of all these people". He really wanted to spank me so bad!    These must have been things his own dad had said to him before.  I'd think about him saying this stuff to me as I laid naked in the tent, masturbating with the scent of his butt crack filling my senses. I told Matthew how I fantasized about being punished for rummaging through my friend’s dirty laundry and sniffing their ripe briefs and boxers. I told him an appropriate punishment would be to have him straddle my torso, pull my legs up into the diaper position and have him rub his bare naked butt crack up and down my nose, telling me that since I like the smell of butt crack so much, he's going to make me sniff his while he spanks me.   I couldn’t believe he was actually acting out this fantasy.   I felt like I was in heaven!  I got a glimpse of his cock and balls hanging down before I felt them on my stomach and chest as he slid that awesome backside of his closer to my face.  I was loving every second of this.  I noticed his ball sac again as he got closer to me but most of all I noticed his ass crack was spread wide open and I had a clear view of his sweet pucker!  His butt was relatively smooth but he had a light coating of man hair in his crack.  I saw the wrinkles of his rosebud as he pressed it up against my nose and he ground it into my face!   God, that boy's ass smelled good! My first real sniff of another guy's butt crack and it was just like I always imagined it would be.  Not a dirty shitty smell but just the ripe, sweaty,  musky smell of pure athletic male backside.  It's hard to describe, but anyone else turned on by that aroma would know exactly what I'm talking about, and his butt crack was a prime specimen!  He picked up my legs and hooked them under his arms just like I described in my email, so my own crack and hole were completely exposed too!  He picked up the small oak paddle drilled with 5/8" holes and started to paddle my ass as he ground his ripe juicy crack up and down my face, rubbing his butt juice all over me, marking me with the scent of his ass!  As he swatted my bad boy ass, he rubbed the paddle around my cheeks and ran his hand up and down my crack over my hole.  I felt my own dick start to harden as Matthew’s musky hole was grinding up and down my nose and I was eagerly sniffing it, savoring the sweet aroma.  I couldn’t help but think about the view he had of my butt, upended, spanked bright red and offered to him, to touch and spank however he wanted.       Then he said it would be a good time to take out that butt plug that I brought with!  I had never had another guy insert a butt plug or anything else up my ass but I wanted to experience as much humiliation as possible.   Hell, another guy had never even seen my butt hole before!  He kept rubbing my crack and hole with his hand as his own pelvis rocked back and forth over my face.  He hand spanked me as he humped my face with his boy hole.  He slapped my ass and said it was time for my hole to get plugged up.  When he got off of me his own dick was rock hard and sticking straight out!  He loved sticking his ass in my face as much as I loved having it there!  He returned to the bed with my butt plug and a tube of KY jelly. I submissively pulled my legs overhead to offer my most private place, my hole, for him to plug.  He lubed up my hole and then the plug, and it didn't take long for my sphincter to suck the plug up and clamp down tight on it. He straddled my chest again with his sweet bare ass in my face so I could savor more of his ass scent as he spanked me some more with that short oak paddle.   He then got off of me and stood along side of me pulling my legs back closer to my face. putting me in the traditional diaper changing position,  upending my butt even more so he could paddle me another 20 times even harder. Before long I was back over Matthew's knees for 85 more swats with my homemade oak frat paddle drilled with holes.   This time he was naked too!   My limp dick tried to get hard a couple of times, barely long enough for him to notice it, but it didn't stay that way for long with the pain from the paddling.  My dick was pressing right up against his bare leg, and he teased me for a while wiggling and twisting the butt plug and fondling my cock and balls.  Then he grabbed the walnut frat paddle drilled with large holes and he paddled my butt some more, and fondled me as he wished.  I let go of my inhibitions and slowly humped his lap sticking my backside up, offering it to him to spank even more, my crack opening up as I stuck my butt up in the air for him to paddle. I knew I needed a good hard spanking and I wanted him to spank me with that paddle.   He grabbed me tight around the waist again and paddled my ass with hard rapid fire swats until I was gasping for air.  It was really hot watching the video afterwards, hearing the paddle echo off my bare bottom with a resounding smack, and watching my butt cheeks giggle as the paddle impacted. He grabbed me tight one more time, squeezing my backside so it stuck up even more and gave me a fast and furious volley of swats with the frat paddle.   I could feel his hard cock throbbing against my stomach letting me know he thoroughly enjoyed paddling my naked boy butt!  Every time he lit into my bare ass with a hard fast volley of paddle swats, his own dick was sticking straight out hard as a rock.  I was really glad that taking the paddle to my ass excited him so much. Still over his knees he picked up the Jokari paddle, a real butt burner,  and gave me another 75 swats.   Some were slow steady swats and others were fast and furious swats.  I  asked him how my butt was and he eagerly replied "nice and hot!"   Then I was ordered to kneel on the bed with my naked butt in the air, my knees spread wide and my face down on the blanket for another 20 swats with a real fraternity souvenir paddle followed by more hand spanks. He enjoyed twisting and wiggling my butt plug and stroking my limp dick trying to make it hard.   I guess I got a little hard, but not nearly as hard as I would have liked to have been. I was definitely enjoying my spanking, even though my ass was red hot and really sore.  I don't know why my dick stayed limp cause whenever I spank myself it's throbbing hard.  I guess it was just the fact that this was a first time experience and I didn't know what to expect.  No, it was because I was still scared shitless!  I still kept wondering if I would be able to take the spanking Matthew wanted to give me! Plus I was still on edge meeting someone for a spanking for the first time, but I couldn't ask for a better spanker!  He was patient and understanding and I think he really liked having me naked and at his mercy! Still kneeling on the bed, I got another 42 hard fast swats with the holey walnut frat paddle.  He stroked his own hard cock as he spanked me and rubbed my hanging ball sack with the paddle.    These swats were so hard, I could hear the air whistle through the holes in the paddle each time he swung it.  Each hard swat flattened my butt cheeks and made them giggle again as they bounced back into shape.  I was gasping and grunting out in pain as he increased the speed and intensity of the paddling. Once again those rapid fire swats that made me grunt and groan, made my disciplinarian's own dick stand at attention again.  He stroked his own boner as he rubbed my butt cheeks feeling the fire he burned into my boy bottom. Next I was ordered to assume the position with my legs spread wide and my hands on my knees while a paddleball paddle I recently found was used to spank my butt.  The butt plug was still up my ass and he sometimes paddled me right on the plug. He reached around my waist and pulled me up tight to himself, grabbing my cock from the front, and I could feel the firm tone of his own naked body up against me.  I was still bent over with my hands on my knees and I wasn't going anywhere!  He leaned into me whacking my deserving red hot butt with the hardest and fastest set of paddle swats yet.  I was grunting out "oh's and aw's" as he whacked my ass ruthlessly with the big paddle an additional 45 times He noticed some abrasions on my butt that were starting to draw blood so he stopped the spanking.  It wasn't anything serious just abrasions from the hole drilled paddles giving my deserving ass the punishment it needed.  I wanted to be spanked more, but knew it was better if I waited until another time. That spanking occurred on a Thursday and my butt was burning Sunday afternoon. Every time I sat down or leaned my butt against something I was reminded what happens to naughty boys.  They get their butts spanked and spanked hard.  I thought for sure, that I would have black and blue marks all over my butt but Matthew was an expert paddler, and knew exactly how to spank a boy's butt.  I was just really sore for 4 days, but there was no bruising or serious damage. After the spanking we both jerked off.  That was the first time I jerked off in front of anyone and also the first time I saw someone else jerk off in person..  Ever since grade school, I jerked off by humping pillows while envisioning the paddlings I'd witnessed that day in school and thinking about someone spanking me like that. So here I was about to jerk off like that in front of the younger guy that just gave me my first real ass paddling.  It was so embarrassing, but I shamelessly grabbed my clothes, wadded them up into a ball and humped them for all I was worth. He stood over me stroking his own hard cock, while he watched my cherry red butt, that he just spanked that way,  hump up and down.  It was so humiliating having him watch my red ass thrust up and down in a feverish rhythm with that plug still up my hole.  I only wish his sweet boy crack was right there in front of my face so I could sniff it some more as I masturbated.  I did scrunch the area between my lip and nostrils up so I could smell the butt juice he marked my face with while he was paddling me earlier. I'm sure he enjoyed making me sniff his ass as he was definitely boned while he ground his ripe stinky butt hole up and down my nose! This spanking was filled with many first time experiences for me.  It was the first time my butt was spanked for real. It was also the first time anyone put a butt plug up my ass.  The first time I was stripped by someone else and the first time I laid over another man's knees for a spanking. This was the first time someone else saw or touched my butt hole, or ran his fingers through my ass crack.  It was the first time anyone grabbed my cock and stroked it or grabbed my ball sack and it was the first time I got to sniff another guy’s butt crack.   Yes like I said, this was a very memorable day indeed! 

There are many who prefer the hand as their choice for spanking and I count myself among them. I think that the flesh to flesh contact provides an intimate and special bonding between the participants. The hand is the one implement that is usually most available for applying if only for a quick swat in public.  I believe that the hand has the most variety of applications and can even simulate other implements. Below is a description of the techniques of applying the hand to a deserving lad's bottom. I use all three during a spanking and believe that this variation increases the duration of the session. #1 The flat hand is probably the most common and the firm palm application can resemble a paddle or hairbrush. #2 With this technique, the entire length of the fingers are brought down rapidly and sharply to feel like 4 flesh whips. #3 The cupped hand gives maximum coverage and follows the curvature. The heel of the hand goes into the crevice and the fingers strike the       opposite side. When this is done with quick motion, I refer to the shape of the cupped hand as a striking cobra putting the bite on an errant lad's backside. I hope you find this tutorial helpful and may try one or more of the techniques I have described.