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In the crisp, late-autumn air of a Saturday afternoon , the modest football pitch of West London Park buzzed with the energy of an amateur match between Albion City FC, decked out in their red and white kit, and Fulham Rovers, clad in all blue. The stands, sparsely populated with a mix of diehard locals and curious passersby, hummed with the occasional cheer or jeer, the scent of grass and sweat mingling with the faint aroma of hot pies from a nearby vendor, the grey London sky overhead casting a muted light over the scene, the pitch a stage for gritty competition, the city’s pulse a distant thrum. The game was a scrappy affair, the players’ enthusiasm outweighing their skill, but one figure stood out amidst the chaos: Ade Davis, a 24-year-old British-born Black lad, tearing aggressively up and down the pitch for Fulham Rovers. Ade was a striking presence, standing at 6’1” with a lean, muscular frame that spoke of years on the field, his perfect ebony skin gleaming with a light sheen of sweat under the overcast sky. His face was handsome in a rugged way, with high cheekbones, a broad nose, and full lips often curled into a cocky smirk, his short black hair cropped close, his dark brown eyes flashing with intensity. His blue kit—tight jersey hugging his broad shoulders and chest, knee-high blue socks pulled taut over his calves, and black football boots scuffed from the turf—clung to his body, but it was his lower half that drew attention. The drum-tight blue shorts encased a very round, bubble butt, the fabric stretched to its limit, accentuating the firm, muscular curves, while a noticeable big bulge hinted at his physical prowess, the kit a second skin, the pitch a stage for his dominance, the city silent. Across the field, Iain Muir, a stern 54-year-old Scottish referee, watched with a critical eye. Standing at 5’10”, Iain was wiry but strong, his weathered face etched with lines from years under the sun, his graying brown hair thinning beneath his black referee cap, his piercing green eyes narrowed behind wire-rimmed glasses, his salt-and-pepper stubble framing a tight-lipped expression. Dressed in the standard black referee kit—short-sleeved shirt, black shorts, and polished boots—his presence commanded respect, his Scottish burr thick as he barked orders, his aura one of unyielding authority, the pitch a stage for his control, the city a faint hum. Iain had noticed Ade early on, not just for his skill but for the way his shorts seemed to distract players and spectators alike, the younger man’s aggressive playstyle adding fuel to Iain’s growing irritation. The match reached a boiling point in the 65th minute when Ade, after a rough tackle, earned a yellow card. Iain blew his whistle sharply, the shrill sound cutting through the murmurs of the crowd, his green eyes locking onto Ade as the player swaggered over, his blue shorts swaying with each confident step, his black boots crunching the grass, the pitch a stage for their confrontation, the city silent. Ade’s dark brown eyes flashed with defiance, his London street slang rolling off his tongue as he leaned in, his voice loud and brash. “Oi, ref, what’s this bullshit yellow for? You’re blind, innit! Sort it out, man!” he barked, his full lips curling into a sneer, his ebony skin glistening, his big bulge prominent, the crowd’s gasps audible, the pitch a stage for his arrogance, the city a faint hum. Iain’s green eyes narrowed, his Scottish burr cutting through Ade’s tirade like a blade. “I’ve had enough of yer lip, lad. Attitude like that deserves a lesson,” he growled, his wiry hand snapping out to grip Ade’s wrist with surprising strength. Before the stunned player could react, Iain marched him toward a nearby bench, the wooden structure weathered and graffitied, the crowd falling into a shocked silence, the pitch a stage for the unthinkable, the city silent. Ade’s dark brown eyes widened, his cocky smirk fading, his muscular frame tensing as he realized Iain’s intent, his blue shorts swaying, his knee-high socks slipping slightly, his black boots scuffing the ground, the pitch a stage for his humiliation, the city a faint hum. “What the banned word , man?! You can’t do this—let go, you queer bastard!” Ade shouted, his London slang laced with homophobic venom, his full lips trembling, his ebony skin flushing with rage, his big bubble butt jiggling as Iain pulled him down across his knee, the referee’s black shorts pressing against Ade’s thigh, the crowd’s gasps turning to murmurs, the pitch a stage for his protest, the city silent. Iain’s green eyes glinted with stern resolve, his Scottish burr firm as he scolded, his wiry hand raised. “Yer attitude’s out of line, Davis, and those distracting shorts—pure provocation. Time ye learned some respect!” he barked, his calloused hand coming down with a sharp *CRACK* on Ade’s drum-tight blue shorts, the sound echoing across the pitch, the crowd frozen in disbelief, the city a faint hum. Ade gasped, his firm cheeks quivering under the impact, the tight fabric outlining the reddening skin, each orb bouncing with the force, his big bulge pressed into Iain’s lap, his knee-high blue socks stretching, his black boots scrabbling against the bench, his dark brown eyes streaming with shock, the pitch a stage for his struggle, the city silent. “ banned word off! Stop this banned word, you perv!” he roared, his London accent cracking, his muscular thighs kicking, veins popping, his abs contracting, his big bubble butt clenching futilely, the crowd’s murmurs growing louder, the pitch a stage for his defiance, the city a faint hum. Iain spanked again, *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK*, each hit harder, Ade’s arse jiggling, the blue shorts highlighting the raw flesh, the pain building, his cheeks bouncing with each strike, his big bulge swaying, the fabric soaked with sweat, his dark brown eyes filling with tears, the pitch echoing with his shouts, the city silent. “Take it, ye big-bottomed brat! Yer shorts are a disgrace—focus on the game, not yer swagger!” Iain scolded, his Scottish burr thick with authority, his green eyes glinting, his wiry frame trembling with strength, the pitch a stage, the city a faint hum. Ade’s struggles intensified, his black boots scuffing the bench, his knee-high socks slipping, his blue jersey riding up to reveal a sliver of his toned back, his ebony skin glistening with sweat, the crowd’s shock turning to a mix of gasps and uneasy laughter, the pitch a stage for his humiliation, the city silent. Iain’s calloused hand gripped the waistband of Ade’s tight shorts, yanking them down in one swift motion, exposing black briefs that clung to his smooth, round arse, the fabric stretched taut, red marks where the shorts had dug in, the pitch silent save for Ade’s ragged breaths, the city silent. Iain spanked Ade’s arse through the briefs, *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK*, the sound sharper, Ade groaning, his cheeks clenching, the cotton amplifying the sting, the pitch echoing with his cries, the crowd’s murmurs rising, the city a faint hum. “Please, man… stop… this ain’t right!” Ade bargained, his London accent faltering, his dark brown eyes pleading, his big bubble butt quivering, the pitch a stage for his submission, the city silent. Iain’s green eyes hardened, his Scottish burr unrelenting as he peeled the briefs down, exposing Ade’s big, shiny, smooth arse, the ebony skin now a searing red, the cheeks swollen, the round globes bouncing with each movement, his flaccid dick and heavy balls swaying beneath, the pitch a stage for his exposure, the city silent. Iain’s wiry hand came down with a vicious *CRACK*, spanking Ade’s bare arse, the sound reverberating, Ade wailing, his big buns bouncing like overripe fruit, the pain shattering his aggressive facade, his thick thighs jocking, his arse wiggling with each hit, his black boots scrabbling, the pitch a stage for his defeat, the city silent. “That’s it, lad—learn yer place! No more of this cocky nonsense!” Iain rasped, his calloused hand relentless, his green eyes glinting, his wiry frame trembling, the pitch a stage, the city a faint hum. Ade’s dark brown eyes streamed, his full lips trembling, his ebony skin flushed with shame, his abs spasming, his big bulge aching, his straight-lad bravado crumbling, the pitch echoing with his pleas, the London afternoon quiet, the city silent. “Alright, alright… I’m sorry, man! Please stop—I’ll behave, I swear!” he bargained, his London accent breaking, his muscular thighs quaking, his knee-high socks bunched, the pitch a stage for his apology, the city silent. As the spanking continued, *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK*, Ade’s resistance faded, his wails turning to sobs, his big bubble butt jiggling, his flaccid dick and balls swinging, his black boots stilled, the pitch a stage for his breakdown, the city a faint hum. “Please, sir… I’m sorry… I’ll be good… no more attitude!” he pleaded, his voice a broken whimper, his dark brown eyes tear-filled, his ebony skin marked with welts, the pitch echoing with his submission, the city silent. Iain, satisfied with the lesson, released Ade, the younger man collapsing onto the bench, his bare arse a throbbing, crimson mass, his blue shorts and briefs tangled at his ankles, his knee-high socks sagging, his black boots scuffed, his blue jersey soaked with sweat, his handsome face streaked with tears, his straight-lad pride shattered, the pitch a testament to his chastening, the London afternoon quiet, the city silent. Iain stood, adjusting his black shorts, his green eyes stern but calm, his Scottish burr firm as he spoke. “Off ye go, Davis—early shower, and yer sent off. Behave next time,” he ordered, his wiry frame unwavering, the pitch a stage for his authority, the city a faint hum. Ade, suitably chastened, stumbled to his feet, clutching his shorts as he shuffled bare-bottomed toward the locker room, the crowd’s stunned silence giving way to scattered applause and jeers, the pitch a stage for his exit, the London afternoon cool, the city’s hum a distant echo.  

Moderating content on the site is incredibly difficult. People love to complain about it, and its indeed imperfect, but it is what it is.  Typically, we get complaints about free speech and censorship. The admins who actually do the moderating, however, tend to be an afterthought, even though they put a great deal of their own time into making the site free from spam, on topic and of legal age, they rarely get a thanks.  So, I am saying it THANK YOU guys!   I logged in to the site today and as excepted there were several messages, or I should say complaints, so in an effort to clarify things:   I will not respond to a message that is hundreds of words long, if you expect any response, keep it short please.  I don’t have the time to read war and peace.   This is an adult male to male spanking site, so please no complaints about off topic material being deleted, such as politics.  If you don’t like it then just leave, there are plenty other sites out there for that very subject.   Content will be deleted from time to time, it happens!  Admin’s make the decision on that, it is not personal so please do not feel it is.  I have had my own posts removed, and properly so, I just move on, it’s easy to get over if you don’t take a tantrum and mistakes happen. Guess what?  We are all human!   Don’t take is so damned personnel, because it’s not!   And guys have a good time, relax, chill and think happy thoughts!

In the photo above, I can't even describe how humiliating it is to be standing there buck ass naked with a well spanked bottom, a bar of soap in my mouth, and soapy goo drooling down my chin. It's a very effective punishment for a foul mouthed boy of any age. In fact it's even more humiliating for someone my age to endure this childish punishment.  Even my little penis is exposed and I can't do anything to cover it up.   Almost two years ago I started writing a blog series about one of the rituals of spanking - Fetching the Belt.  I was off site for a while and never actually finished the last segment of that series.  The series started out with me getting spanked with a paddle and eduring the shame of being sent to the garage where the spanking implements were kept hanging on a wall for everyone to see.  I've had a few spankers send me naked to "fetch" the next implement they planed to use on me.   The two photos below are from one of the first few spankings I got.  The spanker, a young guy half my age sends me trapsing bare across the room to put back one paddle and has me bring him another one.  I obediently retrieve the paddle, hand it to him and climb back over his knees so he can continue giving me the spanking I deserved.    For me it's a ritual that adds to the embarrassment of the spanking because I'm submissively contributing to my own punishment by walking bare, in this series to fetch the belt he's going to use on me.  It's especially humiliating if there's an audience of others there watching.  For the spanker and those witnessing my punishment,  it's a pleasing sight to watch my red bottom wiggle as I walk away anticipating the belt whipping I'm about to get and as I walk back my penis is also exposed for their amusement.  I know everyone has a complete view of me.  Plus touching and feeling the belt is likely to make me aroused, adding even more shame to an already humiliating ritual.  It's the shame of the spanking that lasts long after the sting fades away!  That why rituals are an important part of every spanking.  In Parts A through D of the series, https://southspanking.com/groups/adblog/939/fetching-the-belt-thru-part-d/  I was spanked with the paddle and sent to fetch the belt.  Everything about a leather spanking belt turns me on in an incredible way.  The feel of the leather, the smell of the leather, the sound the belt makes as it's whisked through a man's belt loops, not to mention the sting and pop it makes when it connects with my bare naked bottom as I get spanked with it.  The photo above, one of the college boys at work posted on his social media.  He was not only very familiar with belt spankings but also believed in them, even though he often found himself on the receiving end a belt whuppin.  He never feared his dad, but he sure feared his dad's belt!    I can't help "playing" with the belt when I'm sent to get one.  If  I think no one is there to see me, I might fold the belt in half and push the ends together to make that belt snap sound like it's spanking a boy's bottom.  In the previous parts of the series I lied to the spanker about what was taking me so long, denying that I was "playing" with the belt as I took it off the hook in the garage, so I was also sent to "fetch" the bar of soap that's about to be used to wash my mouth out for lying.   I received many mouth soapings growing up but never got a spanking along with them.  Instead I was literally "locked" in my room.  Yes my parents had a slide bolt on the outside of my bedroom door and literally locked me in my bedroom.  I guess a forced time out so to speak.   Being the brat I was in need of a "good" spanking, I would climb out my bedroom window and walk around to the back door and come back inside.  I would unlock my bedroom door, defiantly leaving the door wide open to prove to my parents, their little lock couldn't keep me in my room.   If my friends who got spanked did something so disobedient, their bottoms would have been truly blistered for that behavior.   Yes my mouth soapings would have been a lot more effective if I had a hot, sore and bright red bottom to go along with them.    I am really surprised more "men that spank" don't use a mouth soaping as part of a spanking routine.  I didn't get my first real spanking until I was 47 years old, and I've only had a couple spankers that put a bar of soap in my mouth while spanking me.  It certainly brought back those childhood memories of those times my parents washed out my mouth with soap.  Even as an adult I hated mouth soapings just like I did as a boy, attesting to their effectiveness.  Plus it put me in the mindset of just being a boy and getting punished like a boy. My real interest in mouth soaping occurred several years later when a 19 year old "kid" at work confessed about the belt spankings and mouth soapings he got from his dad not long ago.  Over the course of a few spanking conversations, he admitted his belt spankings were bare ass and said how awful the belt stung.  Then he went on to describe the mouth soapings he got saying how truely awful they were and how hard it was to get the taste of the soap out of his mouth.  It was then when I pictured him bare with a bar of soap in his mouth getting the belt applied to his bottom that mouth soaping started to turn me on.   The 19 year old guy at work that described the bare bottom belt spankings and mouth soapings he got from his dad.  After hearing his stories, I pictured his bottom bare and getting the belt with a bar of soap in his mouth.  That's when having my own mouth washed out with soap became a new interest for me.   I added some captions to these photos of me getting my mouth washed out during a spanking to describe my fantasy of getting a humiliating spanking and mouthsoaping in front of a group of my own friends.  Having an audience witness your spanking makes it even more embarrassing. Perhaps if as a boy, I got my bottom spanked good and hard with the bar of soap in my mouth, I wouldn't have needed to have my mouth washed out with soap quite as often. These are particularly embarrassing photos because mouth soaping, like spanking, is a very childish punishment and there's no way to clearly show a photo of a mouth soaping without also clearly showing my face. Mouth soaping is just like so many other aspects of spanking and can be incorporated into a spanking ritual. The following photos will show some of those rituals. They add to the humiliation and therefore the effectiveness of the punishment. Nothing completes a punishment for back talking, cussing or lying, like a good old fashioned mouth soaping! If my mouth got me into trouble, my mouth should pay the price along with my backside. It doesn't matter the boy's age, he can be young or old. It is a very effective punishment that is well remembered! The key to a good mouth soaping is to soak the bar of soap in a bowl of hot steamy water for at least an hour or two before the bar of soap is put to use. That way the soap turns into a soft messy goo! There's no way to keep it from getting between all the crevices of his teeth and running out of his mouth and keep it from dripping down his chin and onto his chest. He will look like the fool he acted like! And like any spanking, it's best done in front of an audience! It can be a bit messy though, but having him clean up the mess while still naked can be an additional punishment all in itself.  Even the sight of the soap soaking in water brings back vivid unpleasant memories to anyone that has had their mouth washed out with soap. I can still remember the smell of a bar of Ivory soap that was used on me as a boy. Every time I smell that soap, I think about the times my mouth got washed out as punishment. Back then I hated it. I still don't like it but I admit that now it makes my little dicklet hard! Getting your mouth washed out with soap in front of a group of your friends is humiliating to say the least! Hearing the spanker's remarks and your friend's smart aleck comments just makes it even worse! Having them see your red butt and your face in the mirror is embarrassing for you and really great for them! While soaping a mouth may be easier for a larger audience at the kitchen sink, the best place to soap a dirty mouth is in front of a mirror. There's two reasons for this. First any observers can see my spanked red bottom from behind, and they can see the faces I'm making from the foul tasting soap in the mirror. Plus I can see just how ridiculous I look as a grown man getting such a childish punishment. And I can see how fat and out of shape I am and that embarrasses me more! Don't let me hide my little penis from anyone either. Keep me fully exposed during the punishment, so everyone can laugh at me and enjoy my naked shame.   Just like corner time, getting a mouth soaping is best served in front of an audience. The best audience is a group of my own friends. Guys I has to face on a daily basis knowing they saw me punished completely naked with a childish mouth soaping and a spanking! There's little that's more embarrassing for me than having a mouth full of soap, drooling suds down my chin and have it drip all over my chest while my friends laugh at me! Not to mention the awful taste of it all! In this case the friends are encouraged to take photos and post them on social media to shame me even more. Within minutes everyone is going to see me naked and exposed with a mouthful of soap!    If everyone didn't laugh at my little penis before, they're certain to laugh when they see that getting punished naked is giving me a boner! Now all my friends will realize that getting my mouth washed out with soap and getting my bottom spanked makes my dick hard! Yes, I tried to hide that little secret for years and now everyone is going to know it and they'll never let me forget it!   Let my friends have some fun with me in my state of nakedness. It's all part of my punishment. My red spanked bottom is thrust out for their amusement and my face with the bar of soap in my mouth is turned toward them to humiliate me even more. Forcing me to have eye contact with them is sure to make the humiliation sink in.  Asking me questions with a mouthful of soap is always fun entertainment for everyone there! Of course no one can understand anything I'm saying but it's fun to watch the soapy drool turn into bubbles while I stand naked in front of everyone!  You leave me there doing naked corner time bent over the sink with my rock hard penis pushed back between my legs. Maybe I misunderstood that it was okay to rinse or maybe I was being defiant. Whatever the reason I'm caught red handed, or should we say caught "red bottomed" rinsing out the soap without permission! Now the soap is going back in my mouth and I'll be dragged by the ear into the other room so the belt can be used again. My friends are really going to enjoy this!  Before being positioned for a spanking, a little naked display will do me some good - with the bar of soap still in my mouth. I'm warned not to let the bar of soap fall out of my mouth or the spanking will start over from the beginning. That means I'll have to bite down on the soap and get the it embedded in my teeth, making it much harder to rinse out! My face, dick, balls, and red bottom are all exposed to those witnessing my spanking! When I got mouth soapings as a boy there were no such thing as cell phone cameras so a humiliating punishment like this couldn't be documented. In this day and age with social media, my friends will substantiate my punishment and share my naked shame with everyone I know.    Positioning someone for maximum humiliation during a spanking really provides those watching with entertainment that will be remembered for eternity. The spankings I witnessed when I was younger were given in a way that made the guy being punished, stick his bottom out, offering it for the belt or paddle in a most ludicrous way! You really feel like the fool when you have to stick your own bottom out and present it to be spanked and keep it there for the entire punishment.    Being sent to the corner naked with a well spanked bottom and my friends in tow adds to my shame. They will be sure to tease, touch and fondle me to humiliate me even more. I know if I resist or move from the assigned position, I'll get spanked again. In fact that's what my friends will be trying to make happen!   The bar of soap and belt are left on the bathroom counter to remind everyone what happens when you tell lies. Although I don't think anyone is going to forget what just happened to me. Finally allowed to rinse the awful soap out of my mouth! With the bar of soap soaked in hot water there's lots of goo to rinse out! It makes for a very effective punishment for a sassy, cursing or lying boy of any age!  Below is a link to a short video clip of me rinsing all the soapy goo out of my mouth showing just how bad my mouth soaping was. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TUW16_dtD6wI6Tap9d_h0mTViMW7lbwf/view?usp=sharing Growing up I got my mouth washed out with soap many times, but I never got a spanking along with he soapings. I truly hated mouth soapings!  Nothing about a mouth soaping turned me on back then like when I watched a friend get spanked!  Perhaps if I got my bottom spanked good and hard with the bar of soap in my mouth, I wouldn't have needed to have my mouth washed out with soap quite as often. If you're one of my friends and you recognize me in these photos, soak a bar of soap in a bowl of hot water and give me a thorough mouth soaping and blister my bare naked bottom with a paddle or a belt. I'm sure I did something to deserve it. Be sure to take advantage of the situation and enjoy the opportunity to make me endure every bit of the naked humiliation and punishment you've often thought I deserved! I was going to make a separate post about this next side story but figured I'd just include it here. I accidentally shared every single one of the photos in this post and the video with a "vanilla" friend. It was one of the most humiliating things that's ever happened to me. I've always figured a regular friend is going to run across my photos and blog posts here or in one of my other spanking profiles and realize I'm turned on by spanking. More specifically, turned on by someone GIVING me a spanking! I guess that wouldn't be so bad because if the person is browsing spanking websites, they would probably be turned on by spanking too. But even more humiliating than that, is accidentally sending a potentially "vanilla" person, naked pictures of myself with a red spanked bottom and a bar of soap in my mouth! It was a couple of years ago and this isn't the first time something like this has happened!  I know that someday, one of my mistakes is going to get me "caught" and exposed naked, revealing my spanking fetish! I belong to a social club and take photos of events for the club. I uploaded the photos to what used to be called Amazon Drive. Before they discontinued it, Amazon had cloud storage available for Prime members to use at no charge that was similar to Google Drive and Microsoft One Drive. It allowed you to share photos, videos and documents with other people. Another club member creates a monthly newsletter and used my photos in the newsletter. I had given this friend and a few other people, shared access to the folder and all the club related subfolders on the "cloud" drive that I upload the photos to. The newsletter usually comes out on the first of the month and it was the 22nd. He was going on vacation so he needed to publish the newsletter early. I uploaded photos of three other events the night before and texted the guy at 9pm and said I'd get the rest of the photos uploaded for him in the morning. I started working on them at 6am. I was finishing up the last set close to 8am. I highlight the photos to drag them into Amazon Drive. Well my computer mouse has been having trouble staying clicked as I drag it. It's a problem well known with Logitech mice called double clicking. The issue is they use a cheap main click switch and the switch gets worn out and loses contact as you're holding it down. Well my mouse unclicked, and reclicked in the folder pane and grabbed the entire folder of the red bottomed spanking and mouthsoaping pictures in this post. Yes every one of them! Pictures I was planning on uploading to one of my spanking blogs later that morning! Not just any mouthsoaping pics but naked pics of ME with a bar of soap in my mouth with my little dick showing and my bottom spanked bright red! I was only trying to upload 5 pictures and over a dozen photos transferred so I knew something weird happened. I can't even describe how my face burned red with shame when I looked and realized exactly which photos got uploaded! At first panic set in and then I became flustered and had to figure out how to delete the pictures from Amazon Drive. It took quite a few minutes to delete all the pictures. At least it wasn't like the last time when I texted a screen shot of my browser that had several tabs open to spanking websites! That time there was no way to delete a sent text message! You say that's not much time for him to see all those photos, but he's an early morning person and he had to get the newsletter finished that day. He was probably online after seeing my text message the night before, and was most likely working on the pictures for the newsletter first thing in the morning! But those few minutes seemed like an eternity while I was trying to delete the photos hoping he didn't see them. Yes a few minutes was enough time for him to look at each and every one of those photos! And possibly download them! I didn't hear anything back from him until 9pm that night and all I got was a text with 3 thumbs up! The following morning at 7am the completed newsletter with some of the photos I took in it, and was out by email! I was expecting one of the naked photos of me with the bar of soap in my mouth would be the cover photo for the newsletter! I still don't know if he saw my naked pictures but I'm thinking he did. I also have no idea if he downloaded any of them! It will be bad enough for someone to find my blog on their own. It's worse if I send someone my naked spanking pictures by mistake! I was sick to my stomach all week wondering what the consequences might be. When I saw him about a week later, I tried starting a conversation with him. I figured one of 4 things might happen when he saw me. He could bring it up privately and enjoy making my face burn red with shame. He could spread the pictures around to other club members He could insist on spanking me and washing my mouth out with soap. He could spank me and soap my mouth in front of other club members. All I can say is that if he did see them I deserved to have my mouth washed out with soap and have a belt taken to my naked ass! I can't deny I deserved a naked public spanking for being so careless! I've always felt I deserve to be spanked in front of a group of my own friends. Although I always imagined it being with a group of older friends that I witnessed being spanked themselves years ago, not the new ones from a club I recently joined. I'm pretty sure he did see the photos because he ignored me when I was trying to start a conversation with him and he purposely started talking with someone else instead! Yeah he had to see them. I tried a few times and each time he ignored me. I guess there was a fifth outcome that I didn't anticipate happening. Perhaps my photos embarrassed him as much as they embarrassed me! Just like the time my mom discovered my collection of gay and femdom spanking porn! I was thinking if he spanked me, perhaps pictures of that spanking should be put in the next club newsletter! But once again nothing happened. Yes, I escaped the naked public humiliation I deserved! Perhaps if he saw the text that went with the photos, which said that if someone finds them they should spank me, he might have enjoyed punishing me for being so careless.  

I've often thought about riding my bicycle naked, but didn't have the balls to do it on the street or even on a trail. However, late one Sunday morning I decided to ride naked around my yard at home. There were four neighbors that may have got an eyeful if they were out in their yards and looking into mine.  Perhaps I got the idea from a young man at work. He frequently told me he wanted to take a naked motorcycle ride. He lived in a rural area and was constantly getting naked at home or even when he was out with his friends. His road was about two miles long and was U shaped. It came out onto a state highway on both ends. I had no doubt that he did the naked ride and pictured him riding bare from his house to one end of the road and then back on the state highway to really expose himself. There was a convenience store/gas station on the state road half way between where the two ends of his road met up with the highway. I could picture him riding through the gas station beeping his horn calling everyone's attention to his motorcycle exposure escapade. I was his boss and I couldn't believe he was always telling me about his naked adventures. Perhaps he was trying to get a reaction out of me. But whatever the reason I sure enjoyed listening to his stories and picturing him naked in public.   A photo I found online that made me think of the young man at work that wanted to take a naked motorcycle ride. He was a huge Monty Python television show fan too so I added the words "Off With Thy Pants" to the picture.  I don't ride motorcycles, but perhaps he inspired me to take my naked bicycle ride.I have to admit I've always had in interest in participating in one of the World Naked Bicycle Rides. I always wanted to participate in one of those World Naked Bike Rides but they aren't near me, so I decided to take a naked bike ride in my yard. Although I have to confess, if I went to one of those Naked Bicycle Rides, I'd want to sniff all those bicycle seats! (Top photo from the web)   The ripe musky aroma of ass crack definitely makes me horny. It's humiliating to admit it, but I've confessed other "dirty secrets" here, so whether it's a naked wrestler being put in a spladdle, a naked bicycle rider or someone bending over to change in the locker room, I always wonder just what that butt crack smells like! I've sniffed my own dirty undies and I've sniffed the dirty briefs and boxers of some of my friends too! I've even sniffed the undies of complete strangers that I've found outdoors or in a locker room. However what's most humiliating is when someone sits bare on my face and grinds their ripe musky stinkhole all over my nose marking my face with the scent of their ass crack! So yeah, when I see all those naked bicycle riders, I can't help but wonder how ripe all those bicycle seats smell! Photos from the web.  The photo on the right (above) reminds me of the time my college buddy Matt and I were changing at a state park to go swimming in a lake and he bent over to pick his briefs up off the floor. The most incredible scent of his bare ass crack just filled my senses. Matt was frequently spanked by his dad and I couldn't help but think about that fragrance filling the room as he got spanked and his dad's paddle fanned his exposed crack and hole! That's when I started associating the smell of swamp ass with spanking! The photo above on the lower left has the dominating wrestler running his fingers over his subdued opponents hole and through his crack. One reason for this would be to humiliate his opponent, but I'd bet he's going to sniff his fingers after the match is over! I know I would! Sometimes when I'm on a long road trip, I'll reach my hand into the back of my pants and run my fingers through my crack so I can sniff them as I drive! It makes me so horny! I would surely want to sniff all those bicycle seats on a World Naked Bike Ride! I figured the least risky day to ride my bike naked through my yard was a Sunday morning. You see this is the heart of the South and it's the Bible Belt. All the neighbors are probably at church on Sunday mornings and if they weren't they certainly got a show that morning, and they probably wanted to give me a spanking for not being in church myself! For some reason strict religion and spanking just seem to go together! You know, the whole spare the rod thing. I've often had fantasies of the neighbors catching me running around my yard naked on a Sunday morning and dragging me to the local church just the way they found me. Buck ass naked! Then giving me a public spanking right there in front of the entire congregation! Getting caught exposing yourself naked in public should mean that you get punished in public. Punished with a naked public spanking!  Exposing yourself to the neighbors deserves a spanking in front of all the neighbors. A buck ass naked spanking! You wanted to be naked so you should be spanked naked too! That's it, right out in the yard where everyone can see and hear! All the young men in the neighborhood should learn you're never too old for a spanking!  Now turn and face the camera so everyone online can see your face. They should be able to identify who is getting spanked. And your punishment should be posted online so people can look at you getting spanked whenever they want to. If anyone recognizes you, they should contact you and insist on stripping you naked and giving you another spanking. Yes they should strip you and spank you whenever they want to! And where ever they want to. Now let them see how getting a spanking makes that tiny little dick of yours start to get hard! How humiliating for you to have everyone see that! I can't believe you get a boner because your butt gets spanked!   Humiliation is part of the spanking and having your penis exposed is part of the humiliation.   I was always so embarrassed that just thinking about being spanked gave me a boner.  Whenever my friends got stripped or spanked they never got hard!   I always envied guys that could stand there naked and watch a spanking, or get spanked themselves and never even worry about getting a boner.  If I was naked when watching someone get spanked, I knew my dick would have a mind of it's own and I was terrified everyone would learn I got turned on watching them get spanked.  Or even worse,  if they found out I got aroused thinking about someone spanking me!   I was terrified that everyone would learn my secret,     You wanted to go for a naked bike ride so get that naked red spanked ass of yours up on that bike and ride around. In fact maybe you should ride through town! Just the way you are with your dick flopping around in front of you too! If anyone asks, tell them you got spanked for riding your bike naked and see if they want to give you another spanking! You deserve every spanking anyone wants to give you!  Quite some time ago I saw a photo manipulation posted online about a guy that got spanked by his dad and was then made to ride his bicycle through town so everyone could see what happens to him when he's disobedient!   Just for the purpose of public humiliation, the spanked boy has to ride his bicycle with his bright red bottom on display for everyone in town to see. It looks like his dad even put spikes on his bicycle seat so he can't sit down to hide the spanking he just got. His friends are taking photos and video of him as he makes his bare bottom ride of shame through town. Photo manipulation found online.  Getting back on my bike and starting the naked ride around my yard. My red spanked bottom clearl showing. I wonder how many of the neighbors saw me that day?   Anyone out there that day not only had a view of my spanked backside, but also had a view of my naked frontside. Complete naked exposure is an important part of any spanking.     Now keep going and you better be careful where that bike seat pokes you!    Don't ride too fast! You don't even need a red flashing light! Just wiggle your red butt cheeks. They can be seen for at least a mile!      I'd probably have to do some of the ride standing up as it will hurt too much to sit down. That will give everyone a clear view of both my backside and my front side!     Be sure to wave if you see anyone along the way. Stop to take pictures with them too! And don't forget to ask them if they want to give you another spanking! You deserve it! You've got to keep that butt red the entire way home!   Like I mentioned, I've always wanted to do the World Naked Bike Ride. But with my luck, my bike would break down and I'd get stranded naked! Totally exposed with no other naked cyclists around. And I really wonder if I would be allowed to do the ride with a red and well spanked bottom? If I ever did the WNBR I would definitely want to do it spanked bright red! I also wonder if any of my neighbors saw me riding my bike naked to get these pictures and if they did if they enjoyed what they saw? One of those neighbors was driving me to pick up my car from being repaired and out of the blue, asked me if I ever saw the television show "The Full Monty". I had never heard of it and he went on to explain that celebrities get bare on television to raise money for charities. That television show didn't show much.  They even blocked out the actor's butts,  but I found it interesting he brought up a show about men getting naked on stage!   Perhaps he's a little more kinky than I thought and maybe he did see me and enjoyed the show the day I rode naked around my yard!  He also made a comment to me about when he gets really muddy doing yard work he has to be careful changing outside because his house is close to the road.   I wonder if his bringing those topics up was because he did see me naked in my yard with a spanked bottom at times. The photo manipulation with a naked picture of myself depicts a scene I often thought about happening to me. While cycling with a group of friends they stop to take an early break and pull out a hairbrush. They tell me they found my spanking profiles online and thought they'd help me out since I seem to want to be spanked so bad. I try to say that it's okay and they don't have to spank me, but they insist! I'm stripped buck ass naked and someone puts me over their knees and spanks me right on the side of the road. I'll be getting that most humiliating spanking that I always fantasized about. A spanking from someone I know and in front of other people I know and have to face on a regular basis! Then one person grabs my shirt and another grabs my cycling shorts and they ride off leaving me to finish the ride naked and exposed. I try to catch up to the guys in front of me to hide me a little from view. The two riders behind me stay back so everyone can see I've been well spanked! Lots of horns beep as cars pass me from both directions! My friends decide to stop every five miles and take turns giving me a refresher spanking to make sure my bottom glows red the entire ride! It's going to be a long and painful ride. Maybe one of them will see this post and make my fantasy become a reality! Since I didn't have the balls to ride naked down the street or on a bike trail, perhaps my friends should force me to do it! And with a very red bottom.

[Disclaimer: My trainer and I was into spanking for a while now. He already asked ahead for my permission to do something different.] I was on my usual trip to my trainer's house for a "routine spanking." When I arrived, I texted him. Instead of entering through the front door as usual, he told me to wait outside by the side gate. I stood in front of the gate, my palms starting to sweat, wondering what the punishment would be this time. A moment later, he opened the gate and let me into his backyard. As I was wondering, the order that came out of his mouth blew my mind. He told me that from now on, the moment I stepped into his house, I had to be stripped naked for inspection. Even though his backyard was fully enclosed with fences and nobody could see us from the outside, it was still an open-air area. He didn't say anything else—he simply looked at me, waiting for me to comply. I nodded, trying to act like I wasn't nervous at all. I started with my T-shirt. After it slipped from my shoulders, I folded it neatly. As I was looking for a place to set it down, he handed me a clean trash can and told me I wouldn’t need it for the rest of the day. Then came my shoes and pants. I left my underwear for last. There was a moment where I hesitated, but I forced my hands to keep moving. Once everything was off, I stood there completely naked. I was hit by a rush of shame. My whole body started to turn red, especially my ears. He ordered me to put both hands behind my head and spread my legs apart. He looked at me, checking every inch of my body.   He ordered me to turn around. I could feel the intensity of his gaze as he inspected the shape of my butt, which had been trained by him for a while. Lastly, he ordered me to get on all fours to show him my submissiveness. He was not satisfied with my posture. He raised his voice and told me to spread my legs wider. He walked up to me, fondling the tip of my penis with the rough surface of his shoe. I knew better than to move—or else a harsh punishment would follow. Finally, he stopped and patted my head. “Good boy.” I got up and followed him into his house. My "routine spanking" had just begun.

This is a true story about how when I was college age.  I stripped naked in the woods at a relative's house, and I'm pretty sure I was caught. Not only caught naked but caught spanking my own ass!  This was before I got a real spanking and self spanking was the only kind of spanking I got.  The risk of being caught made the self spanking much more exciting!   I entered the woods leaving all my clothes behind, and walked bare for over an hour, searching for a fallen log to bend over (like the one behind me in the photo above).  I would spank myself while I thought about some hot redneck farm boys in the area catching me and giving me a real spanking. Perhaps a spanking like the ones they got on the farm from their own dads.   There were lots of birch trees in those woods too (notice the birch bark on the ground in the front of the photo). That means there's plenty of birch switches available to use on a naughty boy's bottom!  I would always think of spanking when I saw birch trees or willow trees. This isn't the first time I had an encounter with being caught spanking myself, as my younger brother and a group of his friends almost caught me naked, bound and spanking myself at home.   https://southspanking.com/groups/adblog/921/the-time-i-spanked-myself-put-myself-into-bondage-and-couldnt-get-loose/    This blog post is another another true story about a time I really do think I was caught naked and spanking my own ass outdoors!  I was in college or just out of college, and would visit a relative in the upper peninsula of Michigan who owned some property with Lake Michigan frontage. It was about 20 acres of forest along the lakefront. I spent a lot of time there during my youth through my 40's and the seclusion and privacy often made me want to get naked outdoors. The roadway and edges of the area around the house, provided some clearing areas that let sunlight through and a heavy cover of brush would grow concealing the inner woods from view. I had cut a few "entrances" into the inner forest and would go into the woods, get naked and masturbate, often spanking myself while I was in there. Sometimes my dog would pick up my scent and track me into the woods. I was always hoping a family member wasn't following the dog to find me naked out there! My relative's driveway in the upper peninsula of Michigan. The road was about a quarter mile long and would start curving 100 feet or so from the house so you couldn't be seen once away from the house. When visiting as an older teen and young adult I'd pull down my pants while walking down the driveway and risk getting caught by someone coming to visit. The sunlight in the open roadway let the brush grow along the edge of the forest blocking the view into the woods. I had several pathways cut through the brush, so I could enter the forest, where I would strip naked and wander bare through the woods, looking for a spot to masturbate, imagining the local farm boys catching me and punishing me with a spanking! I'm sure they would enjoy whupping some city boy's ass!   Once away from the road and inside the native "forest" it was wide open as the tree canopy provided shade that kept underbrush from growing. I would walk into the open forest area, spank myself and jack off. If someone else was in the woods it wouldn't be hard to see me. While there were lots of mature trees, it was still pretty wide open and it would be easy to notice the movement of someone walking or running through there especially hearing the crunching of leaves and twigs.   Usually I would find a fallen log in the woods to bend over. I would slowly strip naked imagining someone out there forcing me to strip or slowly undressing me themselves, for a sound spanking. (These are photos I took of myself naked in those woods!)   Sometimes I'd wait to find a fallen log to bend over and then start undressing imagining that someone caught me and ordered me to strip.   Slowly taking off one piece of clothing at a time, thinking about standing there in front of them.   Exposing myself for anyone in the woods to see. Hey if I was in those woods, anyone else could be in there too! Yes I would stand there buck ass naked with my hands behind my head imagining my captors sitting there looking me over and talking about what they were going to do with my naked ass! Of course. I'm sure they would make fun of me because my dick would start to get hard, just because I was naked in front of them and listening to them talk about spanking me!   Part of the humiliation of getting a bare spanking is having my penis exposed to whoever is spanking me or to an audience watching me get spanked.  It's especially embarrassing when I get a boner just from being spanked!     I'd imagine whoever found me tying me up spread eagle to the trees, then cutting a switch from a birch tree and spanking me with it.   Or, I would bend over the fallen log and imagine myself bent over another man's knees getting a spanking. I really did deserve to be caught and spanked! Spanked good and hard! Other times I would be more daring and bring a paddle with me and strip naked just inside the cover of the underbrush, as soon as I came into the woods from the road. I would leave all my clothes right there, only putting on my shoes, so I would have no way to dress again if I got caught! I would wander around completely bare, carrying the spanking paddle, looking for a fallen log to bend over. One time I was having a hard time finding a suitable log and walked around quite a bit eventually finding a mound of dirt near the lake that must have been a sand ridge from years ago that grew over with dirt created by falling leaves. I laid down over the mound so my butt was thrust up in the air as if I was bent over over another man's knees. I put my hands under my crotch and started humping my hands to get off. I would normally hump the clothes I took off but they weren't anywhere around. I took the paddle and reached back and started spanking my own ass, thinking about the local college age farm boys catching me and giving me the kind of spanking they often got on the farm! What a sight it would be if someone were to catch me. A naked college boy myself, with his bare bottom perched up in the air, spanking himself red and sore in an attempt to get off! All of a sudden, after 15 or 20 paddle smacks I heard voices!  No one was ever in these woods and the voices were coming right toward me! Now I was really thinking about those farm boys that got ass whoopins at home. I can't even describe the terror and panic that went through my mind as I thought about them taking off their belts or using my paddle, or a switch on me to give me a real spanking! It would have been so humiliating to be caught naked, spanking myself with a paddle while masturbating!  I was naked, had a red spanked ass and my clothes were nowhere near me!   I got up and ran off in the opposite direction that the voices came from and crouched down hoping they didn't see me! All I could think of was the view someone had of me running naked through the forest, with a bright red bottom, carrying a spanking paddle! To make matters worse, I became disoriented, and couldn't even figure out where I was, or which way I need to go to find my clothes.   I wandered around naked for about 30 minutes trying to figure out where I was, knowing there were a couple of guys right there in the woods with me!  At that moment, my fantasies didn't seem so fun anymore!   My red ass and the paddle I was carrying would have told anyone that found me exactly what I was doing AND what I deserved. Naked in the woods with a red spanked ass knowing there were other people out there with me and having no idea which way my clothes were, I finally figured out I could use the lake as a landmark. I got my bearings and figured out which way I needed to go to find my clothes! I eventually found my clothes, got dressed, went back to the house and decided to go for a swim to calm my frazzled nerves.   I usually had the beach to myself for several miles and once in the water would take off my swim suit and skinny dip in Lake Michigan. It was all private houses along the beach and rarely did anyone else go in the water. My relative's property had 700 ft of lakefront, so that's a little longer than an average city block of beach. The lake had a gradual slope to it so you could walk about the same distance out away from the beach before the water got over your head so it was hard for someone to see that I was swimming naked. While I was in the lake, I heard a horn beep.   I got out of the water to find out it was a man and his son stopping by to visit and introduce themselves.   The son was in his early twenties,  just discharged from the US Marines, so I'm sure he was accustomed to strict discipline. They were looking to buy a piece of property two lots over. I must have wandered off my relatives property and was on the parcel they were looking at buying. All of a sudden my face must have turned as red as my ass was earlier knowing that those were the voices I heard out in the woods when I was spanking myself and masturbating!  I'm sure the sound of the paddle smacking my bare ass was a very distinct sound that wouldn't be mistaken for anything but a spanking. To this day I don't know if they saw me or not, but I'm sure they had to be honing in on the source of the distinctive noise the paddle was making! I found out the man owned a construction company and had 5 sons aged from about 14 to 23. I'm sure those boys all got spanked and they had to be familiar with the sounds of a spanking! They never did say anything but I'm certain they saw me naked in the woods that afternoon! If they didn't get a good look at my face earlier they did now!  Or perhaps they didn't recognize me with my clothes on!  Those voices were close so I don't know how they could have missed my naked red bottom running off into the distance!  I wonder if they talked about me spanking myself and had a good laugh on the way home. They did ended up buying that property. I got naked and spanked myself a lot in those woods. Everytime I went back out there to jerk off and spank myself, I thought about them catching me again! I wonder how many people did actually hear the sounds of spanking out there, or may have seen me? I also wonder if that Marine looked for me out there again or told his brothers about me! This was before I got my first real spanking and sometimes I did things actually hoping to get caught and hoping someone would insist on giving me the bare naked spanking I know I deserved! I still risk getting caught today and someday I know I'm going to get caught! When it does happen, I hope I end up getting the most humiliating spanking of my life. Or maybe someone will stumble across me getting a real spanking outdoors. If they do, I hope they stay and enjoy the show! I really do deserve to be spanked naked in public!

I want to thank everyone for being a member of this site, and for your contributions, including some amazing videos, photos and discussions. There has been some discontent with the way I run the site, mainly regarding off topic content.  I have had several conversations regarding this and I have provided detailed reasoning, however those individuals remain unhappy.  A number have left the site and donations to the site have slumped.  To those that have and continue donate you have my gratitude and respect, to those that have stopped you also have by thanks for your past generosity. I am really at loss over the discontent, because really the rules have always been the same, they have never changed.  This is a spanking site, its not a place for discussing politics and certainly not children under any circumstances.  I will run a poll to see what the majority consensus is regarding off topic posting. As far as the future of this site goes, I don’t know.  We certainly are not going to be able to perform any upgrades this year, that is for sure, and very likely we will not come close to covering our costs.  The server contract runs out soon, so I will be looking at getting a better deal and probably a less powerful one, but that should help stop some of the bleeding. I will commit to running the site and keeping it on line for the remainder of this year, and reevaluate the situation in 2026.   James

This is conversation I had with the former marketing director of Studio 7 and thought I wouls share it with you.   The interviews were done in a twostep process.  The phone listed for “models wanted” was a pager I wore and the number also had a message machine that required leaving physical stats, age able to be proved, and a contact number.  If that all was OK, I’d return the call for a chat about the potential model’s interest.  Voice was important as was information on the potential’s background and body.  If the caller sounded possibly OK (about a third were rejected by phone alone), I’d set up a cup of coffee at a very public and open coffee shop at one of the huge resorts on Hotel Circle.  I’d go and see if the boy with the colored shirt was there, alone and within the range of age and looks we were looking for?  If so, I’d join him and order something to drink.  I’d suggest we move to the side and require he show me his driver’s license as this was a strict modeling job conversation only.   Surprisingly, no one ever showed for that public interview who wasn’t genuinely interested.  The boys were nervous often (it was always midafternoon).  We’d talk quietly and personally about why the boy wanted to model and especially be in a disciplinary video?  Money was always a factor and I’d ask what the money was needed for?    Tomas, for example, wanted to pay his single Mom’s doctor’s bill (never been spanked).  Scott always wanted to make a video and though it would be hot to make a spanking one as he’d been spanked growing up.  Johnny had just arrived with his mom by car from Louisiana fleeing with his mom from a very abusive Mom’s latest series of a boyfriend and he was out of cash and his mom was hitting the streets of downtown San Diego.  Another boy was a 22-year-old, excellent candidate, who’d just become a teacher, who lived with an older man – best candidate I ever saw (I can explain later).  And there were others.    If the interview seemed potential with zero “red flags” I would tell the boy that the next step was an interview with me at a later time when he would be required to take all of his clothes off to show his body and go over my knees to see how he reacted to this kind of video but he would not be spanked or offered anything until he passed it, if he passed it.  It was always a few days later with the exception of the teacher and Johnny in order to ensure the boy was actually interested and not just a spur of the moment way to make quick cash.  Legal papers had to be signed by the applicant giving consent to that final interview and the first and any subsequent filming’s and they required to boy to have the papers notarized before the next step in the interviewing process.     The papers were close to the same used in the normal Hollywood film industry and were written by Screen Actors Guild Attorney at my insistence.  Anywhere from three days to two weeks later we would schedule a time and meet at the “studio” (behind the print shop).  Alan and his attorney would be there and review the papers in the print shop.  If all were in order, there never was a case where all wasn’t in order though not all the boys actually made videos, the boy and I would go into the “studio” alone with the door shut and I’d talk him through the film’s scenario, hold him, strip him, take him over my knees and lead him through it.  He would know the cash he’d be paid any also that the cash would be doubled if he actually cried (in the film, of course, not the interview).    Yes, I saw firsthand, so to speak, how males reacted to these spanking scenarios.  Some did say things like, “Ah, come on, give me a spanking and show me what it’s really like.”  I NEVER did, absolutely not!  But it was interesting the reactions of the boys given their various backgrounds.     Tomas would only agree if I did the video with him and thus came the masque that was made.  The actual video was made a few weeks after all interviews were completed to ensure the model had time to think it through and really wanted to do it.  I was present at all filming’s, two then three stationary cameras were always on and Don the only other person in the room besides the boy and Dad actors were the only ones there!  I was not involved in any of the documentation or cash or business transactions but I certainly did get a lot of experience!   Tomas was an Interesting boy.  In spite of everything, he was the most reluctant when he realized the photographer was also in the filming room and he was also the most shocked at the fact that it was real and hurt.  He did sob but not in front of the cameras.  He returned for two more videos (Not with me) and a couple of privates where good money changed hands (out of my sight).  He to this day lives with a man and is still spanked.

When someone expresses unhappiness, with the site, I always try to put myself in their shoes.  I will never get defensive or brush anyone off as simply being ‘wrong.’ Instead, I try to focus my energy on listening to their point of view.  I can’t promise to always find a solution but I will always try my best to explain the reasons why a post was deleted or a video not approved or anything else that is perceived as negative. I would like to point out to everyone, that the admin’s on the site are simply enforcing the rules that I created, so really the buck does stop with me.    To that end allow me to explain a few things and I am going to start by addressing the fact that we don’t allow linking to anything that contains underage material, such as the M/M Spanking Story archive.  Depending where you live, free speech is available to you and accessing or linking to that particular site is not an issue.  That is not necessarily true in other places and with the current world polarization, rules and change are extremely fast paced.  It is not these days beyond the realm of possibility that someone could end up being charged with a crime because they accessed a site that links there.  I prefer to err on the side of caution which I honestly think is sensible.   Moving on to images and pictures, I very am much aware there has been an issue and disagreement regarding full frontal images.  It is very true we are all adults, and of course ‘penis’ shots are always going to be present at some point, for example a guy naked over another guy’s lap, it’s going to dangle at least, but do we need full frontal images with erections?  The site is called southspanking, the name sort of gives it away that we are a spanking site.  I am asking for a little understanding here; how far do we go?  Do we end up as a full porn site where everything is on the table for posting?  Or do we stay a spanking site?   And then there is politics, in an ideal world adults should be able to debate responsibly, however there is so much hatred and polarization that its best if we keep politics out of the site and I would ask everyone not to post anything political, even satire, again this is a spanking site.   Well I am prepared to be shot at dawn as I am sure, what I am saying will not be popular with some of you and for that I truly apologize.

Meet Daddy Howard You've probably heard about him. He's from a long time ago. You ma have actually seen his old, old videos that still hold up pretty well. Except for the oddly stiff delivery he was prone to, Daddy Howard was an incredible Spanker. Like Cliff Meador over at Spanking Central, he was known for being quite a controlling personality and a character.  But he was also an important figure in the use of Domestic Discipline and Punishment Spankings and this week we want to celebrate Daddy Howard as Hall of Famer of Great Men Who Spank.  Cornertime Confidential Hall of Fame In this blogpost, I'm trying to take just one of his videos and showcase some of the more exceptional moments. These clips include: mouthsoaping, swatting a naughty boy's bottom with his impressive hands that snapped like a paddle, his Daddy tone, and his ability to make a boy anticipate that there's more to come and his Spanking isn't over yet. In honor of Great Men Who Spank, we bring you Daddy Howard. See you tomorrow and hopefully every day this week with a new installment! I received word from Blogger that this post was a violation of community standards, so you'll have to read this post at SouthSpanking.com.  I think I'll have to post separately as vids in the "VIDEO" tab in the upper nav here at SouthSpanking.com, we'll cover the following amazing videos and provide details on why these work so well for Daddy's seeking advice on how to do the following: Daddy washing his boy's mouth out with soap. Daddy Spanking his boy who's been sent to The Corner while standing up to extend the humiliation needed to chastise that boy. Daddy having "That Talk" with his boy I should have those up and live this week. Separately, in my research for this Hall of Fame entry, I came across an interview with SF Gate, an online publication (June 27, 2005), Daddy Howard was interviewed there and said: "Daddy" Howard Hyatt, 53, Spanked a young man on his bare butt -- first with his hand, then with a paddle, then with [The Hairbrush] -- as the man heaved with pain but didn't ask Hyatt to stop. The demonstration was meant as a safe introduction for newbies to dominance and submission. "There's a lot of boys in this town who need it, love it and crave it, and I'm here to give it to them," Hyatt said. He added that he has never received a Spanking. "Nah," he said, "it doesn't appeal to me." --Bulwa, Demian, SFGate.com Big shout out to the adult boys of San Francisco who regularly get their fannys warmed by Daddys across the region there! Please comment below or email us with your ideas   aok4otk@aol.com or cornertimeconf@gmail.com ______________________________________ Follow Cornertime Confidential Wherever You Are: Tumblr  ∙  SouthSpanking ∙  Twitter  ∙  WordPress  

  I posted one picture about this in my blogs in the past but I don't believe I told the whole story about it.  The photo above is a well known spanking drawing by the artist Copper.  He pictured a spanking bench in that drawing, and a guy that spanked me used that drawing as a design to build a real spanking bench.   Years ago I met a spanker who built a spanking bench based on a Copper spanking drawing.  He was always fascinated by the spanking bench depicted in that drawing and I have to admit it was a pretty hot idea.   He put his woodworking skills to use and crafted a spanking bench based on that design.   I spent some time on that bench getting my own bottom blistered. It's a good design that can secure a guy's wrists and ankles as well as his thighs and back, leaving his bare naked bottom thrust up in the air to be well spanked and render him helpless to resist his punishment.   Front view of the spanking bench based on the Copper drawing with wrist stocks showing.   Rear view of the Copper inspired spanking bench with leg stocks, including leather straps to secure the guy's back and thighs.    The bench the spanker built also had a cubbyhole to store spanking implements.  This version of the Copper drawing is similar to the situation I was in where I got to watch the other guy get locked into the bench and get spanked.  It was exciting to watch someone else get secured in the bench and get his heinie spanked.   The design of the spanking bench is very appealing.   For the one being spanked he feels completely helpless.  For the spanker, it must be exciting having a naked bottom so nicely presented just waiting to be spanked!   This spanker didn't allow any video to be taken so he took a few still shots with my own camera.  I usually use screen captures from video I take of my spankings, so these were a few select still pictures he took during my spanking.  I didn't get any photos of myself actually secured on the bench but it's an incredible feeling to be stripped naked with your bottom sticking up in the air on a bench getting a spanking.   The photo below has me in the background with my wrists and ankles locked in a pillory that he also made.  Someone else is on the Copper spanking bench.   My third time visiting this spanker, there were two of us being spanked at the same time.  This photo was taken before the other guy was secured into the bench.   He was spanked bending over it first.   I was locked in a pillory.  He left my head out of the pillory at first so I could watch the other spanking.  Two naughty boys stripped naked getting spanked together.   The spanker also shaved my crotch and bottom before locking me in the pillory.  I can only imagine the shame I would have endured if the pillory was in the public square and the whole town could see my bald dick and watch my bottom get spanked bright red!   The other guy that got spanked along with me that day, not only was locked into the spanking bench, but was also locked into a chastity cage when we first arrived.  I never saw a chastity device before that day.  Either in person or online!   Hell, I didn't even understand what one was.  I certainly never saw one on a guy and I was curious about them but it wasn't until about 5 years later that I started seeing guys with their dicks locked up online.  Now I get turned on thinking about someone locking up my little penis and controlling when I can c.u.m!    Chastity is all about control and discipline.    Controlling my dick and disciplining my ass!      We were in the "back room" of the spanker's business buck ass naked getting our bottoms spanked while up front the door was unlocked and anyone could have walked in.   In fact the UPS driver left packages up front while we were getting spanked oblivious to what was going on in back!   Or maybe he did hear the spankings.   Perhaps even the local town folk knew that naked men were getting spanked in the back room of that shop!    He didn't seem to even try to hide the pillory.  It was standing out in the open.   He stored it for the town's local Halloween event as a photo op, so no one gave a second thought when they saw it at his business!  It was a perfectly good reason for it to be there.   The spanking bench was tucked under a table, merely covered with a blanket.  He had a guy work in the shop a couple days a week.  I always wondered if his worker knew it was there.   Perhaps he provided a community service for wayward men and teens in that small American town!  Kind of like the stories I heard of small town barbers that performed a public service and applied the razor strop to the bare bottoms of wayward teens after hours.   The first time I met this spanker, he had me kneel on the Copper Bench.   I didn't know him at all and didn't want to be spanked in bondage that day, so I kept my knees back so he wouldn't slip the ankle board on me.   I was spanked with a paddle and an Irish school strap that day.   Another view of the bench itself and a photo of me kneeling on it during my very first meeting with this spanker.     The picture below is at the end of my spanking on the Copper inspired spanking bench with a thoroughly spanked, and well blistered bottom.  Not only was my bottom spanked but so were my thighs.   An older boy like me deserves to have his bottom spanked good and red just like this and I deserve to be spanked naked in front of others to make my spanking extra humiliating.   I'm sure there's a lot of people that I know who would have enjoyed seeing me get this spanking!   I can't help but imagine if that UPS man needed a signature for the package he delivered and came looking for the shop owner and walked in on the strap cracking down on my bare red bottom!  I can't deny it would be just the type of red faced humiliation that would have made my spanking complete!    By the end of the spanking, my bottom was truly blistered.   That saying you often hear about not being able to sit down for a week, it was true.   Every inch of my bottom was spanked red.  The first few days I had to sleep on my stomach and it hurt to sit down for at least a week, reminding me of the spanking I got on that Copper spanking bench.    

Being restrained in handcuffs and then spanked makes me horny.  Perhaps it the feeling of the hard cold steel around my wrists, or perhaps it's knowing I'm helpless to resist the punishment I have coming to me, or perhaps it's knowing someone else has control over me.  Whatever it is, I can't deny being put into bondage and then spanked, gets me excited.  I previously made a post about a time when I put myself into bondage, tying my feet spread eagle to the bed and cuffing my hands behind my back with real police handcuffs, and then couldn't get loose.  I was in college at the time and I was laying there helpless for almost an hour.   I had also spanked myself before putting the handcuffs on and the spanking paddle was laying on the floor out of reach along with the handcuff keys.  I had tied slip knots around my ankles and figured I would loosen the slip knots, releasing myself from bondage with the bed frame,  and get the key to get the handcuffs off.  However the feeling of being in the handcuffs made me so horny I started to masturbate by humping my pillows and in the struggle with the ropes, the slip knots tightened too much and I couldn't loosen them!   I was stuck there buck ass naked, with a bright red well spanked bottom, with my hands cuffed behind my back and my feet tied spread eagle to the foot board of the bed.  The part that made things worse is my younger brother was about to come home from high school and he usually brought a friend or two home with him.  I could only imagine the fun they would have had spanking me and tormenting me while I was helpless to fend them off.  I even had gay spanking magazines laying on the floor next to the paddle to give them ideas of what to do to me!   You can read all the details in this link to my blog post about The Time I Spanked Myself, Put Myself in Bondage and Couldn't Get Loose https://southspanking.com/groups/adblog/921/the-time-i-spanked-myself-put-myself-into-bondage-and-couldnt-get-loose/ I've always been turned on by the added feelings of helplessness when I'm restrained during a spanking.  Perhaps it all started when my college friend Richard would bring handcuffs with on camping trips.  After he restrained one of his friends he would forcibly strip them and spank them with a short leather strap he'd bring with.   All of my friends knew I had never been spanked at home like they were and they wanted the satisfaction of seeing me get a spanking so bad.   I actually went out and bought a pair of official police handcuffs from a police uniform store just so I'd have my own keys in case Richard tried his antics on me.   My college friend Richard actually had a pair of real police handcuffs that he used to bring on camping trips so he could restrain his friends and spank them without them fighting back. Here's an actual picture of Richard handcuffing another friend to an old tire when we were on a camping trip. I've been spanked naked in bondage a few times and I admit it makes my dick rock throbbing hard whenever I'm tied up for a spanking.  There's just something exciting about how everything is completely out of my control, that arouses me when I'm spanked in bondage.   You can see in the photo below, just how being naked, tied down and helpless to resist the punishment I have coming makes my dick start to leak. A photo of me tied to a spanking bench for a spanking. Everything is exposed: My leaking dick and balls, even my exposed butt hole! I've also always fantasized about being pulled over by some local southern small town cop for a traffic violation and being given the choice of getting a ticket and having to come back for court and having my insurance rates go up, or choosing an alternative option -  some instant roadside justice delivered on the spot,  with an old fashioned public ass whupping!   It wouldn't matter that I'm older than the cop, he's going to take great pleasure in giving a northern city boy like me, a good taste of some old fashioned southern discipline.    I've wondered if the southern Sheriff would bring me to some back road to spank me, where he could take all the time he wanted to with me?  Or if he'd do it right there on the side of the road in front of everyone passing by, with me bent over the trunk of the squad car, or the hood of my car,  naked as the day I was born!   Either way I'd be stripped bare and if I got uncooperative, my hands could  be put in handcuffs so they can't get in the way of the ass blistering I'm going to get.    A photo manipulation I created with a photo of myself depicting a long time fantasy of being stopped for a traffic violation and being given the choice of a ticket or a humiliating naked public spanking on the side of the road. Yes, being forced to be naked and then restrained for a spanking, has always been a turnon for me.   Exposed, vulnerable, at the complete mercy of my captor!   Even more embarrassing is if it happened in front of a group of other people like when my friend Richard handcuffed, stripped and spanked a guy in front of all his peers!   This next series of photos were taken when I was younger, before I showed my face online.    It makes me so horny feeling the cold steel resting on my bottom.  My crack spread open and especially the tip of the open cuff pressing right on my pucker.  Someone needs to put those cuffs on me and give me a spanking!    Naked and cuffed.   When I'm in a pair of handcuffs, I can't help but think about being a bad boy and we all know that bad boys get spanked!  My mind wanders thinking about all the times I've seen a hot shirtless guy on television restrained in hancuffs.  Or better yet, I never fail to get a boner when I see a guy buck ass naked in handcuffs such as a prison intake scene, or a strip search in the airport or even guys being caught naked, then arrested and processed bare, just the way they were found!   While in handcuffs I often thought back to the photos and videos I saw online about guys stripped and spanked or hauled off to the police station buck ass naked, and then marched bare inside.   Seeing a police officer with his handcuffs turns me on.   As humiliating as it would be, it never failed to get my dick hard thinking about it happening to me!  (Photos from the web.) I'm sure if I ever got strip searched by the police or airport security, my dick would get hard while being inspected!   They would find it amusing but I would be mortified with shame.   Naked and hands cuffed behind my head with my legs spread wide.  It's always more exposing when you're legs are spread wide apart.     It's also always interesting to be put in unusual positions.  And if I'm going to be spanked, it keeps my hands from interfering with the spanking.   On my back with one leg through my cuffed hands is a good way to keep me in the diaper position with my dick and balls fully exposed.  Although you can't see it in this photo my face is also exposed to those looking down from above.    On my side with my cuffed hands through one leg with my dick and balls pushed back  for everyone to see.  Another effective way to use a pair of handcuffs is to put a guy's dick and balls in bondage! Frontal view one cuff around my wrist and the other cuff around my dick and balls.  You just can't help but realize how exposed you are when the steel of the cuffs has you by the  balls.  Rear view kneeling.  One wrist in cuffs and my cock and balls in the other cuff.     Now what really turns me on is when I'm naked in handcuffs and my bottom is given a good sound spanking.   In this photo my hands are secured over my head and I'm thrusting out my bottom just begging for a spanking.     Here I spread my legs even wider making an even more inviting target for the paddle.  The close up shows my rock hard dick rubbing against the exercise bench.  In fact it made me so horny, I started masturbating while in handcuffs by humping the exercise bench like a dog in heat!  It really turns me on being naked, bound, spanked and exposed.     Below is a link to a short video clip of me humping the bench while standing in handcuffs. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yLHjUh-jdlAZbHPNF3GEHiZypuHi7Msc/view?usp=sharing Spanked in bondage, hands in cuffs, bending over in the workout room. My dick, balls and butt hole are exposed adding to my humiliation!   My dick was lubed up and I'm so horny from being in handcuffs and spanked, the bench is all slick now so I shamelessly start humping the bench trying to get off.   My ass is red hot and my dick is throbbing.  Even my hole is puckering.   A guy like me that seems to enjoy being spanked deserves to be spanked even harder and longer.      In the middle of the session I hump the bench facing the other way until I c.u.m.  I usually hump face down like in the previous photo so this was new for me.   Thinking about the shame of being spanked makes me c.u.m..   Below is a link to a short 3 minute video clip of me humping the bench facing forward.  I humped the bench, ejaculated, then to my shame, I licked up my own c.u.m and swallowed it.   After I came, there was more spanking.    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o3-iQNHh4N7QexvMNwVnsG3-kTy23kJG/view?usp=drive_link Being spanked in bondage has always been arousing for me.  Going back to my first selfies in the mid 1990's taken with a Polaroid Land Camera, I used a Sharpie Marker to write on the photos, describing my fantasies of being bound for a spanking.  Perhaps I was hoping some friends would stumble across them and get some ideas of what to do to me.  Years ago I scanned them however I didn't throw out the original Polaroids until recently.   The images were in digital form on my computer but I kept the photos hoping someone would find them and make my fantasy come true.  This was years before I got a real spanking.   In the photo below you can see how even back then, I fantasied about being tied up, put in handcuffs and spanked.   I certainly deserved to have someone find me naked and put those handcuffs, rope, paddles, and belts to good use making my bottom red, hot and sore!    This photo shows one of the fantasies that I wrote out on those pictures 30 years ago with a Sharpie marker. This was before digital scanners and digital photographs so creating these photos wasn't to post them online! I had to be hoping some friends would find the actual humiliating photos of myself and in a way that friends bully one another, make my disciplinary fantasies come true! And to fulfill their lifelong quest to see to it that I finally get a spanking! I guess even I was hoping to get a spanking way back then. During one of my spankings I did get stripped naked, shaved and spanked in a pillory. The entire story can be found in my writing linked below: https://southspanking.com/groups/adblog/862/a-shaving-spanking-in-bondage-part-1-losing-my-man-hair/ I did get spanked naked in a pillory in 2012, but unfortunately not in public! Naked, helpless and totally exposed! During another spanking I got, the spanking bench was turned sideways and I was tied down to it as if it were a sawhorse out in the woodshed to simulate getting a woodshed strapping.   My wrists and ankles were bound to the spanking bench.  One of the forearm and knee braces were removed so I could be bent over it as if it were an ordinary sawhorse.  The kind of sawhorse you might find out in a woodshed or barn.  Many country boys were familiar with a woodshed strapping and I wanted to find out what one was like.  I was going to find out exactly what it was like because I was tied down and had to take the spanking I had coming!  The entire story is in my blog called A Woodshed Style Strapping Or During another spanking I was secured in a set of stocks.  Wrists and ankles secured in the same board so I had to bend over with my bottom thrust out and my hole exposed.  We tried doing it kneeling with my wrists pushed back between my legs but I just wasn't flexible enough to sustain that position.   Hands and ankles secured in a set of stocks.   To my shame, my crack and hole were fully exposed along with my balls, to be spanked and fondled and I was helpless to stop any of it.       Or another time I was chained up to the rafters and flogged and whipped.   He used various floggers and even flogged my penis lightly.   My wrists are in leather cuffs and were clipped to the chain so I couldn't block any of it.   Chained to the rafters and  getting my naked bottom spanked with a dragon whip.  This was my first experience being whipped.     Being put in bondage for a spanking really enhances the overall experience.  I feel helpless and at the mercy of my spanker.  Whether it be handcuffs, chains, stocks, tied with rope or locked helpless in a pillory.    I've only let a few people put me in bondage.  Those I really trusted and had some experience with.   But it certainly makes the spanking exciting.   Sometimes I admit I wondered what I was got myself into as I was secured naked and was getting spanked.   If I find another spanker I feel comfortable with,  I hope to be restrained for more spankings in the future.

Just a wee quick update!   Please accepy my apologies if I have not sent you a personal thank you for donations, I have been up to my neck in it of late with very little free time.  So please accept my thanks and hugs.   By the end of April we will move to Almalinux with Litespeed on the front end and Apache in the back as a reverse proxy.  This will net some good performance metrics and stability.   Social Engine will be installed and ready for Testing by the end of May and will run beside our live site, while I conduct data imports and analyze what we need to get ready for a major move.  Just to point out, we will not lose any data, everything will be retained.   I will update you all as I go along.   Thanks   James  

I think it was a cool experience，How about you guys  

If you have fantasized about being spanked with a hairbrush, let me tell you now, be very careful what you wish for it is not a joke or novelty and the sting it delivers is unique.  Every smack resonates, it is an insistent sound contrasting with the rapidly reddening of my bare fanny that is being thoroughly tanned as I lay over my dads’ knees, jeans and briefs around my ankles.   After the first swat I feel a burning sting that grows into a continuous warmth that never stops, it just heats up more and more, searing my bare bottom.  It hurts but the pain and heat are only the beginning.   The first spank creates a gentle pink, that very quickly turns very red as my spanking continues. The color and temperature of my bottom will last for hours and I do mean hours afterwards.    A hairbrush spanking needs trust, communication, and even love and fulfillment. The hairbrush has a unique way of stripping away pride, or selfishness and getting to the bottom of a naughty boys’ problems.   While not all hairbrushes are the same, the most effective ones are where the head is relatively small compared to its weight.  The smaller surface can focus on the same spot with ease and without heavy wielding, the result is one of shock and stinging that is hard to describe but one that is particularly meaningful when the spanking is for punishment.  Although the intense heat and sting elicits promises of good behavior in a very short time, it does no real harm and my bottom heals quickly.   If your dad or top uses a paddle style hairbrush, believe you me you are getting off lightly, just wait until you get it with one of the smaller headed ones, you will soon know the difference.  The hairbrush is such a formidable tool it commands authority and respect. When that brush makes contact with my bared fanny, it serves as a reminder that rules are meant to be followed – no ifs, ands or buts about it.   Most of all though, unlike some implements cush as a paddle, which can be become predictable, that can never be said about the hairbrush.  It can reach parts and emotions like nothing else can.   How often do I get the brush, honestly about four or five times a year and there are always plenty of tears while it’s happening and when my nose is put in the corner to reflect on my behavior afterwards!

I hope everyone had a nice Xmas and 2025 brings you prosperity, and of course for the boys here, red stinging bottoms (except me) and for the dads, and tops red-hot hands!   I want to explain what is going to happen this year with the site and why, and don’t worry guys it’s all good!   The script we use yet again came under financial burden with the script owners now demanding more license fees to upgrade to their latest version.  I have declined to pay these fees.   The reason is, we are essentially being held hostage, if we pay the fees and upgrade, we would be locked into their script and only the apps they provide.  They have completely alienated third party developers and made it to the point its an ever-increasing high fee-based model with them being the sole provider of very high-cost apps.  This is not sustainable for us.   We will instead be moving to Social Engine without fail.  Social engine has a huge third-party development community, the script is faster and there is just so much more available for us.  We already own one license but will need to upgrade it, and I am okay with that.   I want to emphasize all your content will remain, your photos, feed, videos, blogs, messages and friends etc.  It will all be migrated.  The only thing we may lose in the short term are polls.   The same desktop experience will remain (only quicker and better), however for those using mobile devices, you will find the site completely improved, better quality and faster actions.   At present we have $320 in the kitty, that is cash left from last year that I will be using for the purpose of upgrading and purchasing some of the apps we will require.   I do not like running fundraisers or as I like to call them ‘begging bowl’ but needs must and I will be doing so shortly.  Whenever we meet our fundraising goals, I immediately take down the donation banner and you will have noted I did that around September last year.   We are stuck with PayPal at present for donations, but I am exploring other options and will update you accordingly.   I want this to really work, I want us to have an amazing community with all we deserve.   If you have knowledge of Social Engine and are willing to help, please reach out to me.  We do have some IT guys here on the site and I will also be respectfully asking for their help as well.   I shall keep you updated with progress together with a timeline.   Hugs   James

We here at Cornertime Confidential love the way the author of The Dirty Daddy blog emphasizes that being in a healthy Daddy/boy relationship reach for concrete milestones, whether you are the boy, or you are the Daddy!    Respect, Honor, Submission, Companionship, Passion, Affection, Caring, Love, Commitment   From the Cornertime Confidential perspective, milestones like these make men behave better and long term relationships benefit greatly not by guilt and emotional threats but by obedience to Rules that the men involved adhere to. Because of our firm believe in these basic DD principles, we're thrilled to share this snippet from The Dirty Daddy Blog.    Cornertime Confidential loves many of the ideas expressed on The Dirty Daddy Blog more generally. For example, earlier this year, we adapted two of his posts to better explain his viewpoint as a Daddy on both oral and anal that some Daddy/boy relationships may require. And we wanted to give another shout out on both of those posts. He's full of interesting information about how to both effectively both be:  a Good boy's Daddy, and  a Good Daddy's boy. Let us know your feedback. We'll be curious to find out if this is information that you feel is inappropriate for the blog, just right, or not enough. Use the comment feature at the bottom of this post!     The 9 Milestones below can help any boy be a better boy to your Daddy and to be the best Daddy you can be to your boy. Additionally, these Rules will help to improve the quality and length of your relationship. We'll let The Dirty Daddy explain in greater detail. ______________________________________ Rules: Lessons From The DirtyDaddy blog Another in our "Learning by Doing" Series by The Dirty Daddy These Rules are in no particular order. And these Rules are expected to be followed by a Good boy, if a Daddy follows them from the start. Respect   You have the right to your feelings, to be sad or angry when those moments come, but at no time should 'angry words' that degrade, abuse or diminish the value of your Daddy be used. Physical violence in any form is absolutely forbidden, Daddy would never strike you no matter how angry he may get, so you should never ever let your anger dominate you instead of your love for Daddy.    You respect who Daddy is as a person, then your partner, THEN as Daddy. Words like "Sissy," "Faggot," and "banned word" are used to degrade and punish, and should not be used about your self or your Daddy. The shortest road to being a "Bad Boy" is to degrade/disrespect yourself. Do not wallow in self pity, negative thoughts about yourself, or allow your self-esteem to stop Daddy from loving you the way he wants to, and you need him to. Blame, when properly placed is fine, but do not constantly apologize for everything like you expect to be beaten if you don't. Honor    Honor may sound similar to respect at first glance but it goes further and touches upon very special things. Honor is more about thoughts, feelings, wishes and desires both in public and private. In public, Daddy would not force you to display affection you might be uncomfortable with, and if you tell him so, he will honor that wish, just as you should honor his boundaries in public and private.    Respect can be seen as understanding, where Honoring is obeying the limits that Respect creates. By honoring and respecting your Daddy, just as he does you, you two mutually create the shape and scope of your relationship in and outside of the bedroom. Submission   This is NOT how it sounds at first. A Good boy does submit but not in the 'usual' way. A Good boy does not throw away his wants, needs, desires, free will, or person-hood in favor of Daddy's will. Quite the opposite. Those things are what made Daddy want you to be his son, why would he throw those away? Daddy gives you permission (when you ask for it) to explore your desires, dreams and fantasies together with his guidance and help to realize them.    The only explicit domination Daddy exerts is his desire to have you 'ask' for permission, even if you know it will be granted, purely as a formality. The greatest gift is a boy's submission to the pleasure Daddy wishes to give him, and to his own desires to please Daddy. If we respect the roles we have accepted, and honor the limits we set for each other, and submit to mutually created lives, we become truer to ourselves and our innermost needs.     Companionship A Good boy is a natural companion to his Daddy: able to be by his side at any event, on any outing, or just together for no reason other than to be close. Be comfortable accompanying Daddy anytime he wishes. Listen to his stories, as he listens to yours. Ask about his day, fill the empty places that a partner would fill, but go further and fill that space set aside for his Good boy and companion.  It is the place he wishes you to be in, and one you belong in. Take the time to be supportive of his efforts, respect his need to work and his space (if any is needed or required). Always be the Good boy, there to accept his attention, affection, and the time he wishes to spend with you. [a note from Cornertime Confidential: set your boy's expectations. We have a friend who went into his DD relationship with one set of expectations, but because his Daddy didn't set the expectations clearly at the beginning, they've struggled to find the right mix between companionship and being a boy who is disciplined by Daddy. Be sure to set out parameters as the Daddy, so your boy can be Good, as well as be your boy.] Passion Daddy has already given you permission to be the passionate, sexual creature you are meant to be. Do not restrain or deny this side of yourself, unless it violates other Rules listed here or created between you and your Daddy. You would not want him to be cool all the time in bed, or in foreplay for him to be unresponsive, so do not be that way to him. Affection   Express your affection in every way possible. This shows your appreciation for all that Daddy is and does for you and with you. Kiss your Daddy as often as he and you are comfortable. This is your chance to demonstrate you appreciate him, find creative ways to do so beyond sex. Sex is only one way to appreciate you Daddy.   Hold hands, cuddle with him in bed, snuggle on the couch watching movies together, sit next to him at mealtime, smile as often as you can at him. Express your love without words as often as possible. Use the language of love even more so.   Caring   When your Daddy is having a 'bad day', is feeling sad, or is upset, or even angry at something, do your best to be supportive of him without being oppressive or denying him the right to have his feelings. He would not want you to be sad for long, but understands the need for such feelings and does his best to make you feel better. As you should for him as often as you can. It is part of being a loving, Good boy to care for your Daddy's well being, happiness and comfort. Love This is a simple Rule. Love your Daddy. Do not simply Obey, Submit, and be a toy for his pleasure. Truly love him as he loves you. A Good Daddy holds you in a special place in his heart, as you should with him. Discover together how your love manifests between you both.[A note from Cornertime Confidential: As anyone who ever watched Oprah, Love is something that is earned over time. Not all Daddys are Good and the same goes for boys. It's important if you intend to have a Daddy/boy Domestic Discipline relationship, you'll need to find the honest, authentic mix, so you can make the necessary space for Love.  Commitment Daddy/boy relationships benefit from a bond of trust. It means being true and faithful to your Daddy as his Good boy. As he should be to you to earn the right to be your Good Daddy. In this day and age, it especially means no side play with others without the consent [of Daddy or boy.] The great thing about being men, non-monogamy is a topic we can talk about honestly and openly. Commitment doesn't necessarily mean 19th century ball and chain. Commitment is as important to keep as the love you share.  If the Love is broken, the relationship can either heal over time or end completely. If the commitment, the trust, is broken then there may be no real return to what you had before.  Trust may be given at the start, but you must continue to earn it and remain committed to what you have gained or you risk its complete destruction. There cannot be casual infractions of Commitment for a boy or a Daddy, as it breaks the relationship in a way that throws its entire value into question. Follow These 9 Rules, and You'll Have Tons of Fun With Your Good boy or Your Good Daddy! — The Dirty Daddy    Please comment below or email us with your ideas   aok4otk@aol.com or cornertimeconf@gmail.com ______________________________________   Follow Cornertime Confidential Wherever You Are: Tumblr  ∙  SouthSpanking ∙  Twitter  ∙  WordPress

June 6, 1892 My dear Dr. Rutile, As my long-time mentor in the pedagogical realm, I felt you would be interested to know of developments here at St. Swinburne. As you know, this school has used the birch for discipline for over two hundred years, and there has never been any reason to doubt its efficacy. Yet upon taking charge, I discovered some conditions surrounding birching that I have corrected. I believe these would be of interest to you. The birching block is of course a stair-step. The boy kneels upon the first step and places his abdomen on the second, or top step, and then places his hands on the floor. It is to be hoped that all the landings of the birch fall squarely upon the lower buttocks, with as little “wrap” as possible. Unfortunately, it seems to be common than the birch often lands astray, owing in part to use of old, frazzled birches, or want of skill of the bircher. I therefore ordered that no birch should be reused, so that each punishment is carried out with a fresh spray tightly bound. I also ordered all masters who have warrant to birch to practice on sacks stuffed with heavy wool and placed on the block. These sacks are liberally dusted with chalk to show the landing of each switch of the birch. Another error in birching is the landing of the birch on the boy’s privates, which are dangling just below the buttock cleft. Because the birch must be inflicted on the bare, I ruminated on some way of protecting the privates during the session. I hit upon a solution. I had our carpenter cut a crescent-shaped embrasure into the top step, with a matching embrasure on the second riser. The lad to be birched ‘tucks” his privates into this opening. Thus the boy’s privates are inside the block, for the most part, and not as vulnerable. This had the immediate effect of eliminating lashes to the sensitive nether regions. 2 After discussing the question with the most experience masters, and senior boys, I also ordered the provision of a pail on the inside of the block. In many cases the younger boys will micturate from pain, and formerly this ran down the outside of the block. The embrasure and pail prevents that. Similarly, certain older boys may have a reaction that delicacy forbids me to mention, but you may well imagine. The pail performs a valuable service in this instance as well. The first boy to be birched after these modifications was a young man, actually of 18 years, who already sports a neatly trimmed beard. He was to be given two dozen strokes for a collection of offences. Only the student, the other master and I were present for the punishment which took place just before lights out. The lad seemed to feel it was beneath his dignity to be punished in such a way, but admitted that rules were rules and he “had it coming”. He removed his jacket and shoes, and then his trousers and underpants and moved to the block. I told him that since he was a man in face and body, that perhaps he would feel better about the infliction if he took the birching as a grown man might take it, in a prison. Without asking, he understood and removed his tie and shirt, becoming perfectly naked. His body was indeed manly with a stripe of hair up his abdomen and fairly distributed across his chest. When he mounted the block and eased his privates into the embrasure, we observed that his buttocks and the space between his legs were quite hairy as well. He took the first dozen strokes stoicly. We allowed him a few minutes’ respite still on the block, and then announced the second dozen. At about the sixth stroke (i.e the 18 th in toto), he suddenly gasped and raised his head up and let out a low moan. The remaining six strokes were delivered with celerity and the lad became quite limp on the block. He slowly got up and we provided a towel. He thanked us, dressed and was dismissed. Examination of the pail revealed that he had indeed had the “other reaction” to birching. I remain, your most obedient servant, Charles Keller June 9, 1892 3 My dear Charles, I have read, and re-read your missive of the sixth instant with great fascination. I salute your cleverness in solving the dilemmas present at your school and have no doubt that you are fully equal to the challenges thereof. As you recall, St. Wankalots has used the cane for many decades. Because it is normally applied across trousers, we rarely have the issues that birching presents. However, for senior boys guilty of serious offences, we apply the cane across the bare. When a caning is to be administered sans trousers, we cover the caning chair with a heavy turkish towel. This has been most useful is preserving cleanliness and decorum. In some cases, I have allowed the caned boy a few moments alone after the conclusion of the caning to recover himself and fold up the towel, which he takes to the laundry. You and I have discussed the merits of birching and caning in the past, with the amiable result that we believe both can be equally effective when applied with skill. I am wondering if the young man you mentioned in your letter would be amenable to a comparison, after his birch marks have healed, but soon, before memory fades. That comparison would be held at your school, under conditions of strictest secrecy. The young man would strip off and mount the block as if for birching, but would receive a number of strokes of the senior cane from me. I do not think that two dozen with the cane would be the correct number; rather, I think that one dozen, perhaps as applied as two sets of six, would be about equal to two dozen with the birch. In fact, I think the correct application would be five to one buttock, and then “bar the gate”, and this dosage repeated on the other buttock. In this way we would have the testimony of the young man about the cane versus the birch, and your clever arrangement of block and bucket would answer for other effects of the discipline. I await your reply by next post, old friend. I remain, &c, Hammond Rutile, PhD 4 June 18, 1892 Dear Drs. Rutile and Keller, Berlin You asked me to set down my experience of taking the cane during the experiment last week. I am glad you were able to contact me after graduation before I, in the company of two maiden aunts, visited the Continent for our “grand tour.” Tonight I have had a great deal of the wienner kafe and cannot sleep, so I will record my account. It was seven days after the birching by Dr. Keller when I met you gentlemen at St. Swinburne’s, and my buttocks had largely recovered. I must admit that the prospect of being caned with a dozen strokes filled me with apprehension. Having attended St. Swinburne’s the whole of my schooling, and only experiencing the birch, I was very concerned about my ability to endure caning with the fortitude I expect of myself. I had met boys from St. Wankalots’s who expressed their belief that birching was trivial compared to the cane and avidly showed their cane stripes to me as testimony. Nevertheless I had committed myself to this experiment. After the introductions, I stripped off and you examined my buttocks, and being satisfied with their state, ordered me to mount the birching block. I did so and was careful to tuck my privates into the embrasure. I heard Dr. Rutile flex the cane through the air and it sounded like a veritable Harpy. He then touched the cane to my left to get the range and a moment later I felt the first impact. No slow but inexorable build up as with the birch. A strike that seemed to be like a hot dull knife sprang upon my flesh, and then another, and another. By the fifth I was regretting my bravado at volunteering. Then the “gate was barred” and I nearly jumped off the block as the sixth stroke crossed the other five in a perfect frissom of pain. Dr. Rutile allowed me a minute or so to collect myself. I gritted my teeth and said I was ready. 5 Striking from the left, Dr. Rutile neatly placed five strokes upon my right. He then shifted position and barred the right gate. I recall I shrieked “Good God!” at this last and felt I was melting into the bench. After a few minutes I was able to get up. You and Dr. Rutile were most solicitous to treat any grazes, and there were a few where the gates had been barred. I looked in the dressing mirrors in the study and marveled how evenly the strokes were laid. The two “bars”intersected like crossed cutlasses just at the top of the cleft. In sum, it was as if Dr. Rutile has painted the strokes as an artist. I gave you both my initial impressions that not being used to the cane, I felt it was far worse than the birch. I now have to temper that by stating that it all depends on what one is used to. I believe that a lad from St. Wankalot’s, upon being birched by Dr. Keller, might have the identical impression. As I told you, I departed for the Continent two days later. On the crossing to Calais, I stood up ostensibly to preclude mal de mare but actually to alleviate the motion of the boat on my stilltender hind parts. We made our way through Holland and Belgium to Germany, stopping in Berlin. My aunts decided to tour some dreary palaces and castles, perhaps, I fancied, to meet eligible and wealthy vons who are not too critical of feminine appearances. I decided to visit the famous gentlemens’ baths. This was my first time as a grown man, and I enjoyed the experience of being waited upon and relaxing in the fantastic architecture and soothing waters. It being midweek, the bath was not very well attended. I was swimming in the salt water pool, which was cool but not cold, when another gentlemen hailed me. Herr whats-his-name was older and stoutly built, but not corpulent. His English was simple but adequate, and between that and my schoolboy German we could communicate tolerably. After some pleasantries about the baths and travel, he told me he had noticed my buttocks upon my entry to the pool. He asked me if I had been punished in prison. I laughed and said no, this was my valedictory discipline at school. He seemed to be impressed with that, and shared that some German schools could be equally severe. Of course, I did not reveal the true nature of the event, but told him the caning had a good effect on me. He asked me if I was going to get caned at university, and I said I doubted that, being now 6 of 18 years. He invited me to experience his masseur, which I did and thoroughly enjoyed. Herr stood by in a towel and commanded the masseur not to touch my hindquarters. After this luxurious interlude, Herr and I made our way to his private room. I realized that he was a man of some substance, judging by the richness of his day-clothes, with the Eisernes Kreuz pinned to his jacket that hung in the armoire. He asked if he could view my rump again, and bending over, I complied. “Ja, ja” he mumbled. He then said that he wanted to take the same caning as I had, and would I do him the honor? After I recovered from my surprise, I agreed. He fetched a cane that looked well-used from the armoire and asked me to be severe with him. He lay over an ottoman and presented his large, but still well-muscled posterior to me. I had never caned before, only birched some younger lads, so I tried to recall what I knew. I gamely gave him an even dozen strokes, harder and harder until the last three sprang crimson. He gave a bellow and I feared I had truly hurt him, instead he lay limp on the ottoman. I dressed his wounds as best I could. He slowly got up and I stood out of reach, fearing reprisal. However, that was the farthest thing from his mind. He had a vacant, sated smile and I saw that he had ejaculated copiously all over the ottoman. He sat on the bed and motioned for me to lay down. He gently ran his fingertips through the hair of my buttocks and thighs, gently tracing the stripes. He then rubbed my hind-cheeks a little more firmly, pressing the muscles against the bones. This reinvigorated the sensations of my marks, but it a pleasant way. I felt my rump was fairly glowing with a mellow light. He bade me roll over and he palpitated my privates with the tip of the cane until I could bear it no more and let fly. I was devoid of any energy, and he retrieved a fresh damp rag and gently mopped the seed off my chest and abdomen, even carefully cleaning out my navel. He then dried me and gently arranged the hair in its natural pattern. At length I roused myself and thanked him. He was profuse in his 7 thanks and gave me his card. I went to the shower-baths and refreshed myself, then dressed and returned to the hotel. My aunts were all a-twitter about their tour and meeting Baron von So-and So, who had invited us to a reception tomorrow evening. Presuming the Baron was the genuine article, and not a stable-boy having a bit of fun with these two sweet biddies, we will attend this fete tomorrow. I wonder if Herr will be there. That would be interesting indeed. Your sincerely, Thomas Featherstone

Daddy has had to set out new house rules for me because I got a really bad report card this week. Interested to know your thoughts please.  Should any new rules / themes be added? Should any be rephrased?  Let me know by commenting beneath. I’ve processed these via Chat GPT and it’s helped with the wording a lot.    Theme: Behaviour 1. Addressing Me: From this point forward, you will refer to me only as DADDY or SIR. No exceptions. 2. Attendance: Perfect attendance at school is non-negotiable. You will not miss a single day without explicit permission from me. 3. Academic Performance: Poor grades or inadequate effort in extracurricular activities will not be tolerated. You will strive for excellence, with grades no lower than a B+ in any subject or exam. 4. Respect: No disrespect. Always remember that Daddy is in charge, and you live under my care. You will address me respectfully, follow household rules, and accept my guidance with grace at all times. 5. Obedience: No disobedience. When Daddy gives you an instruction, you will follow it promptly and without hesitation. 6. Honesty: No dishonesty. Lying is unacceptable. You will always be truthful, transparent, and forthcoming in all matters.   Theme: Chores   7. Room Maintenance: You are responsible for making your bed and keeping your room tidy, neat, and in proper order at all times. 8. Daily Routine: A list of chores, projects, homework, and study tasks will be posted on the fridge each day. All tasks must be completed to my satisfaction before leisure activities are allowed. 9. Accountability: Completed chores will be inspected and approved by me before you are released to other activities.   Theme: Dress Code   10. Outside the Home: You will dress smartly in your school uniform at all times when leaving the house. This includes a school blazer, white shirt, grey shorts, belt, school tie, long grey socks, black leather shoes, and white briefs. Casual clothing is not permitted. 11. At Home and Weekends: You are only permitted to wear white briefs, white cotton socks, and a white vest while inside the home. 12. Bedtime Wear: At bedtime, you will wear a standard blue pyjama top and bottoms. No other clothing is allowed. 13. Clothing Standards: All clothing must be clean, pressed, and properly fitted at all times.   Theme: Bedtime   14. Daily Review: Every night at 8:00 PM, you will report to me to review your day. You will stand in the corner facing the wall, with your hands on your head, until I call you over.   15. Hygiene: A nightly bath will ensure cleanliness is maintained. On occasion, additional cleansing routines (e.g., washing your mouth out with soap or a thorough cleansing) may be necessary to reinforce discipline and hygiene. 16. Shaving: You will remain shaved smooth to serve as a reminder of my authority and to maintain proper hygiene. 17. Lights Out: Bedtime and lights out will be strictly enforced at 9:00 PM. No exceptions.   Theme: Privacy   18. Open Doors: Privacy is a privilege. All doors, including your bedroom and bathroom, must remain open at all times. This includes when you are using the toilet. 19. Electronics: Until your grades meet the expected standards, all electronics—including your phone, laptop, and gaming devices—will be confiscated. 20. Grounding: You are grounded until further notice. All social outings, privileges, and unsupervised activities are suspended until I decide otherwise.   Theme: Accountability & Rewards   21. Consequences: Repeated violations of these rules will result in additional consequences, such as earlier bedtimes, extra chores, or further restrictions on privileges. 22. Positive Reinforcement: Consistently exceeding expectations may earn rewards, such as relaxed rules, extra privileges, or my commendation. 23. Communication: If you are unsure about any rule or feel overwhelmed, you must inform me immediately. Seeking guidance is always better than making excuses or avoiding responsibility.

I started my spanking journey about 5 years ago, and I definitely remember what it was like building up the courage to go to my first meet as a Spankee. Since then, I have become more of a switch. I feel like I have learnt what makes for a really good experience as a spankee and now want to give that experience to others as a spanker. I know that some of you are new to all this, so I thought that I would pass on some of the things that I have learnt make for a safe and exhilarating spanking experience. 1) Correspond with somebody first to make sure you a basic fit. It is always difficult in messaging to find out what makes people tick. You won't get a perfect match, but make sure you are in the same ball park. For example some guys want to role play house master and student and give you six of the best as punishment (not for me). Others want a more erotic experience - gentle build up, lots of body contact, with the aim of orgasm by spankee, or both spankee and spanker (more my scene). 2) Agree to meet first in a public place. I like to meet in a pub or coffee shop first. Make sure it is somewhere discrete. Spend 20-30 mins chatting with them. Make sure they are who they said they were in their messages, and that they have the same expectations as you. I once met a guy who in the pub said he wanted to cane me until I couldn't sit down. I thanked him for the drink and said I didn't think it would work and left! 3) After the drink and when you have agreed to progress to the spanking, move on to either your place, or somewhere relatively public. Hotel meets work well for me, although I do like to have some music on to muffle any sounds. Unless you feel you know somebody well avoid meeting them at their place on a first meet. I've never had any problems meeting at somebodies home, but it just makes me feel safer for the first meet. 4) Have some idea about what are suitable instruments for your spanker to use. For your first ever spanking meet consider asking for only hand. I personally like the belt and then strap. The paddle and bathbrush can be fairly severe, especially if they are hard wood. I am happy to give them out if the guy is OK with that. I always avoid the cane and tawse - too severe a punishment for me to receive and I don't like bruising and really hurting a guy when giving. 5) Give the spanker some idea of what intensity/severity you are after. For me the scale goes something like - Mild, just really playing - Red and pink, which will disappear by the following morning - Red and pink with a few marks. You feel it in the morning, but the marks will be gone in 2 day times - Some bruising. You'll feel it for a few days, and marks may last a week. - Heavy bruising. It will hurt to sit down the following day. Marks will last a while. As a spankee, I usually go for red and pink with a few marks (I'm light skinned and mark easily.) When spanking, I have given some guys some light bruises on his request, but I don't want to do it again. Remember the position in which you are spanked will change the severity. Short range swats (such as hand OTK) are less severe than long range swats (such as strap prison style with you over a desk). 6) For your first few meets agree a safeword. I always offer a spankee a safeword. A word which when said stops play immediately. Pick something ease to remember ("Red" is a good choice). A safeword makes the session have less adreline, but for the first few sessions it will give you some confidence that things can stop if you get out of your depth. Most of my spankee choose not to have a safeword, but I usually insist on one myself the first time I meet a guy. I hope you all enjoy your exploration of spanking. It can really be an adreline fuel, endorphine pumping, erotic journey.  

Pupils will be set work, tests etc. All work and sessions must be in ASB attire. Pupils must be dedicated to doing work, tests, punishment lines in the realistic timescales set. Work will be set on some online platforms and reports lines etc also sent by PDF or word for marking Skype will be used to dealings with the HM regularly. Punishments can be any of the following corporal punishment administered with proof or live on skype, lines, essays, detention etc Enrolling ASB's will undergo an initial Skype interview and embarrassing medical exam Only pupils willing to put in the required effort to apply. Please send me a message via ASB to be added to the list for enrollment.   or see the below invitation:  Subject: Formal Invitation to Apply for ASB Greystone Skype School Thank you for expressing your interest in joining the ASB Greystone Skype School. We are pleased to invite you to take the next steps in the application process. Kindly ensure the following requirements are completed before we can formally consider your acceptance: Add the Headmaster on Skype: Please add the Headmaster using the email cprem1234@gmail.com. Ensure your ASB username is included in your add request for identification purposes. Complete the Google Survey: A Google survey document must be completed in full. Please use the following link to access the survey: https://forms.gle/bZhjRtRn7Aqn4wdh6. Submit it promptly once completed. Arrange a Skype Interview and Medical Appointment: You must report for a school interview and an embarrassing school medical on Skype. A mutually agreeable appointment time will be arranged. Sign Up on ThatQuiz.org: Create a student account on the platform and ensure emails from this address are not blocked. All work, tests, and exams will be conducted via this platform. Acknowledge School Standards and Discipline Policy: By proceeding with the application, you acknowledge and accept the following: You will complete all assigned lines, essays, and tests within workable deadlines. You are aware that corporal punishment is in use for bad results, rule-breaking, or poor standards. Email Communication: All email contact should be made to TheGreystoneSchool@gmail.com. Ensure your ASB username is included in all email correspondence for identification purposes. Once these steps are successfully completed, we will proceed with your formal application review and notify you regarding the acceptance decision. Should you have any questions or require assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us. Kind regards,   Mr. M. Goodwin Headmaster Greystone School  

A boy In Trouble is a Temporary Thing  The Difference That an Age-Play Mindset Can Make A lot of members of the CP community do not get into age play. They find it fake and makes them feel like an actor, not a participant. Is that you?    Sometimes adult boys get in trouble. Sometimes they just get Spanked. Which is a better experience?     Cornertime Confidential is obviously a home for adult boys, so the underlying assumption is that we are treated like real boys with Dads, Uncles, Daddys, and Mentors who sometimes have to punish us when we're "in trouble" for our behavior. But for many, trying to behave like a naughty boy or teen is like a phony acting job. How does it work for you? Do you prefer a Man-to-Man experience that is just a beating? Or do you prefer a journey as an adult boy doing over a Dad's knee? For me, it's a hard line. I do not feel much more than "fun 'n' games" if a Man swats my behind with a paddle. If however, he gets me into headspace where I'm a boy in trouble...then my endorphins and mind go ballistic. The excitement is ten stories high. If I get a paddling until I'm yelling from an equal, it just doesn't ring for me. It's painful, sure, but I'm not really a pain pig. I think pain pigs are great, and they are so fun to be around. However, it's the pain pig who also enters CP play as a boy that truly sends me. What about being an adult boy that works best for you? Or as a Spanking-fan, what is it about Man-to-Man Spankings that makes you just like being hit?  

If you find yourself reading this, please comment with your experiences. I'd like to include your thoughts to fill out the content of this matter: breaking up. Is it harder to do when you are in a Spanking-relationship? Here's where I am with this post: Recently, a follower of mine, Daddy Dom, asked me an important question: "Are there any articles on Cornertime Confidential about dealing with breakups? Some say it’s harder than ending a vanilla relationship. What do you think?" In vanilla relationships, breakups can be painful, especially if the couple has a long history together. It may take years to heal, as I experienced after my first 15-year relationship. Even so, there comes a point when the finality of the breakup becomes clear, and life, however difficult, moves forward. In our community, however, breakups can feel significantly more intense. Domestic Discipline or Spanking-centered relationships involve more than the loss of a partner; they involve the loss of a Spanking connection, a bond that serves as both a source of intimacy and Discipline. Losing both aspects simultaneously would likely makes a break-up uniquely painful. It wouldn't surprise me if folks in these relationships stay together longer, possibly for the wrong reasons. To shed more light on this, I spoke with johnny, a highly experienced adult boy in our community. “My Daddy and I have been together for over 30 years," johnny shared. "Even though we don’t play as often, we are deeply committed as partners after years of Spankings and Discipline. Our connection is built on two distinct needs: the need for a loving partner and the need for a Spanking partner." johnny explained that based on the folks he knows, many in the Spanking community separate these roles. One partner fulfills emotional and romantic needs, while another person—or series of partners—provides Spanking and Discipline. For these individuals, breaking up only disrupts one part of their life, which might make the transition slightly easier to handle during a break-up. The other element remains intact, providing some stability during the healing process. However, for those whose partner fulfills both roles, the impact of a breakup is profoundly deeper. Breaking up with that singular person means losing both the emotional support and the Spanking dynamic, making the experience more devastating. The vulnerability that comes with such a breakup can be immense, as it strips away two essential components of one's identity and relationship life at once. johnny said, "We need a person we can love and be with, and then we also need a Spanking partner. Breaking up is hard to do.

NB: For our non-French-speaking friends, this blog is the translation of a French-language blog on the French-speaking group (like the previous ones, by the way), so let me start by reminding you that English is not my mother tongue. English wasn't even the first foreign language I learned in school through to university. If a sentence seems incomprehensible to you, or if my grammar, vocabulary or syntax seem wrong, I'd be very grateful if you'd let me know. I'd be happy to discuss it and improve my prose. There's also the possibility of checking the French version, which is perfectly correct and in line with the desired rhetoric and logic. I'm always open to constructive discussion. So if you feel like reading, I can only wish you a good read and thank you for it and your interest.  Dating is now decided on the networks, and depends on the sites on which you can leave your profile, i.e. your imprint. The key element of such profiles is often the image. Leaving a photo is essential, and a video is a bonus. You can always take a photo on the Net, but it's best to produce your own photos or videos. Unless you want only self-portraits or images of implements or places, you need at least two people to produce meaningful photos or videos. So, you need to discuss and agree with your partners. And discussing the pros, cons and risks of taking photos and videos during a spanking session is important. Knowing whether to publish them, and which ones, is even more important. Talking about it in a blog, read as a voluntary or involuntary collection of advice or testimonials, must be done seriously and without any personal passion. It's not a subject that, in the midst of a futile conversation about image, should lead to a personal regulation of publishing know-how and revenge porn, which some people are so keen on when it comes to considering the publications of others without questioning their own ways of doing things. All the more so as this question concerns spankers as much as spankees, since taking and publishing images depends on both. It's in everyone's interest and for the pleasure of the greatest number that exchanges must be thought out and carried out. We can't love everything, but we must do our best to give something that can be received and shared by other spanking enthusiasts and potential partners or friends. I have nothing to say about the advantages and disadvantages of making and publishing images, since these seem obvious to me and are only to the extent of everyone. Apart from the usefulness of networking to make oneself known, the interest can also be purely aesthetic and fantastical. Besides, I don't think it's my place to define good manners and rules of etiquette. That's not my style. Nor is it my ambition here. I just think we need to agree on this issue before the session. And to agree precisely, loyally and definitively. Pics seem to me to be useful but not necessary for every meet. They fix a memory, but can also be used to communicate and show what you're looking for or what you can offer. Everyone is free to want pics or not, to limit the scope of the shots or even the number of pics or vids. Everyone is free to accept images without accepting their publication, or to limit their communication. However, you should bear in mind that it is always possible to retract your agreement after the fact, but only if no publication has been made beforehand. Indeed, the issue is more complex, however, when images have already been published, as they begin to circulate as soon as they are published. This is even their reason for being. The problem is that they then escape all control. That's why it's important to determine beforehand what can be photographed and published. In any case, in the event of initial disagreement on these issues, the best thing to do is to refrain from taking any images, pic or vid, and even more to refrain from publishing them if images have nevertheless been fixed. I'll focus on the most important, namely the risk of losing control of one's image, if not one's story, and the potential damage to one's reputation in real life, but also the risk of becoming the object of blackmail or pressure from the one who consented or from a third party. For my part, I only publish with my spankee's approval, as much on the principle of the publication as on the pics, on what is necessary or opportune to erase or hide (jewelry, tattoos, birthmarks, etc.), and even on how I will designate him (first name, simple initial, generic term, etc.) and the text that might accompany the publication (for those who follow me, it's usually for haikus, a simple pretext to freeze a moment, an emotion or a sensation in my spanker diary). But more importantly, I'd like to take stock of the idea of revenge porn, so in vogue on the networks and in the minds of “young people”, and even those who want to do harm. I've paid the price with an obsessive manipulative pervert, and frankly I wouldn't wish on anyone what he put me through and sometimes continues to put me through wherever he can harm me by abusing the weaknesses of sites and their “moderation” policies. It's damaging for everyone in reality, and shouldn't be accepted, no matter how “notorious” the evil-doer. Indeed, we must also beware of rumors, gossip and hearsay circulating about publications or the possibility of images being taken without consent or the knowledge of the spankee, perhaps even the spanker, because after all, it's not technically impossible. I've been able to gather testimonials from spankees, or guys posing as spankees, claiming that certain Parisian spankers were taking images without consent. I confined myself to informing those spankers concerned that these rumors were circulating, but did not pass them on to anyone else, as I knew nothing for certain about this information, which sometimes came from dubious profiles. I firmly believe that we must remain extremely cautious in such matters. For many people, accusation is often tantamount to indiscriminate proof, whereas it's not enough to say so for something to be true, and such proof is as good as condemnation. On the contrary, for the sake of peace on the networks and the smooth running of our community, we must not lay down the law on the networks by promoting a parallel, electronic “justice” that rehabilitates the ancient practice of lynching in the name of virtue or the defense of fooled innocence. Digital mobs aren't sentimental, they're infernal. They are detestable when they start acting without thinking. The best thing to do is to remain objective and stick only to what is firmly established, and not to relay noise about which you know nothing objectively. You protect everyone by avoiding spoiling the atmosphere with malicious rumors. Revenge porn does exist! It's worth knowing what it is before committing yourself to fixing images and then publishing them, or launching a campaign against an Internet user accused or suspected of wrongdoing. So, let's examine the issue technically. There's nothing simple about the definition of revenge porn, and the reality of the matter is so diverse and difficult to pin down that the law has done a lot of groping and is still doing so. Broadly speaking, revenge porn consists of an individual publishing sexually explicit content about another person on a public or private network, without that person's knowledge. This content often consists of intimate pictures or videos, which the perpetrator may or may not have obtained with the victim's consent. It is a criminal offence in almost all Western countries. In French criminal law, as in all the Romano-Germanic systems that dominate Europe, it should be remembered that for an offence to be constituted and reprehensible, there must be a legal element, a material element and a moral element. If you don't, you'll be talking nonsense, just like any good blogger who's ready to talk about anything and everything outside his sphere of competence, doubting neither himself nor anything else. I/ The legal element In France, everything is in the Penal Code. This makes it easier to assemble the applicable texts that determine the offence with precision. The law in its entirety can be found in Articles 226-1, 226-2 and 226-2-1 of the Penal Code. The latter Article was added to precisely define and punish revenge porn. It stipulates that: “When the offenses provided for in Articles 226-1 and 226-2 concern words or images of a sexual nature taken in a public or private place, the penalties are increased to two years' imprisonment and a fine of 60,000 euros. “The same penalties apply to the fact of making known to the public or to a third party any recording or document of words or images of a sexual nature, obtained with the express or presumed consent of the person or by him or herself, by means of one of the acts provided for in Article 226-1, in the absence of the person's consent to dissemination.” Article 226-2-1, paragraph 2, of the Penal Code was therefore written to punish what is known as revenge porn, in order to make up for the inadequacies of the provisions of pre-existing Articles 226-1 and 226-2. This text makes it possible to punish cases of invasion of sexual intimacy, even when consent was given at the time the photos were taken or the videos recorded, provided it is not reiterated at the time of distribution. For the French legislator, the phenomenon of revenge porn thus consists in the distribution, without the person's consent, of recordings or documents of a sexual nature (“sextape”, nude pics, etc.) which were initially taken or obtained with the person's consent. Prior to the creation of this offence, the fact that a person had given their consent to the taking of recordings or documents prevented criminal prosecution if the author subsequently decided to disseminate them without their consent. The law penalized the invasion of privacy through the fixation, capture, recording or transmission of private or confidential words or images taken in a private place, as well as the retention or dissemination of such recordings or documents obtained without the consent of the person concerned. The Court of Cassation logically deduced from the applicable texts that it was not a criminal offence to disseminate, without the person's consent, an image of a person taken in a private place with his or her consent (Cass., Crim., March 16, 2016, no. 15-82.676). In this way, revenge porn, i.e. recordings, documents or images of a sexual nature obtained with the person's consent before being disseminated without their consent, could not be punished. Article 226-2-1 corrects the shortcomings of the first two texts, making it possible to penalize this type of behavior. Thus, in France, the legal element has existed since October 2016. It is not retroactive. The offence is statute-barred after 6 years. Most Romano-Germanic European countries have a similar law. I don't know anything about common law and therefore Anglo-Saxon law for the most part. I imagine that this offence also exists and is punished, but under what definition I don't know, and there must be a plethora of case law on the subject. II/ The material element 1/ “... making known to the public or to a third party any recording or document of words or images of a sexual nature...”. The offence therefore presupposes that either an image or words of a sexual nature have been obtained beforehand. These images or words must be transcribed either in a recording or in a document that can be distributed: photograph, video, soundtrack, etc. Several situations could be envisaged: pics or vids of people engaged in sexual lovemaking, of a nude person, or of a person who is not undressed but who makes a gesture with a sexual connotation or adopts a lascivious pose, but in all cases the offence could only be characterized if the person is identifiable. Indeed, the protected image is that of a specific person, since identification is a prerequisite of any invasion of privacy (Cass., Civ. 1st, April 9, 2014, n°12-29.588). Consequently, if the image focuses on a genital organ, or a part of the body, such as the bottom for example, which does not allow the person's face to be seen or identified in any way, the provisions of Article 226-2-1 of the French Penal Code are not intended to apply, a fortiori if there is no written mention enabling identification for which the image alone would not suffice. One question, however, is unclear. Does it have to be a public or a private place? The first paragraph of Article 226-2-1 of the French Penal Code, which increases the penalties for the offences set out in Articles 226-1 and 226-2 when the images or words are of a sexual nature, makes no distinction between images taken in a public or private place. The second paragraph of Article 226-2-1, which defines the phenomenon of revenge porn, does not specify the public or private nature of the place concerned. Legal doctrine tend to consider that, since paragraph 2 presupposes that the images or words disseminated were obtained “by means of one of the acts provided for in Article 226-1”, the extension of the scope of repression to public places does not apply to images, which must, under the terms of Article 226-1, 2°, have been taken in a private place. It follows that, a priori, for example, a picture of a nude person in a public place, taken with his consent or by himself, can be lawfully distributed without his agreement. The question of the public place remains. A bar, or any other venue where a party open to the public is held, is a public or private place in this particular context? The judges will say... On the other hand, it is certain that a beach or dunes, an abandoned bunker or the top of a bell tower open to the public, a wood or a path, are public places... Finally, sexuality must be assessed subjectively. This raises the question of whether an image is sexual in nature. Is the sexual nature of an image determined by what it shows, or by what it suggests? The “context” in which the image is taken is therefore crucial in determining its sexual nature, all the more so when the image is accompanied by text. 2/ “..., obtained, with the express or presumed consent of the person or by himself, using one of the acts provided for in Article 226-1.” The document or recording must have been obtained, with consent, by means of one of the acts provided for in the Penal Code, which are specifically listed: capture, recording, transmission and fixation. The act may have been carried out “by means of any process whatsoever”: camera, camcorder, cell phone, etc. This strictly technical point is not covered here and is not difficult to understand, and makes perfect sense. 3/ “... in the absence of the person's consent to the broadcast... ”. The offence is committed when the recording or document containing words or images of a sexual nature is either broadcast or brought to the attention of the public or a third party in the absence of the consent of the individual appearing on it. The term “brought to the attention of” implies one or more specific recipients. Diffusion, on the other hand, implies a deliberate action aimed at making the document or recording known to a wide audience of indeterminate individuals. The real question is that of the consent of the person concerned by the recording or document. It is perfectly possible for a person to agree to the recording or document being made, without consenting to its distribution. What has been consented to in a private setting must not be allowed to leave without the consent of the person concerned. This point is simple. A priori only, because consent must be understood specifically “a priori”. If no consent has ever been given, the solution is simple: no publication is possible. If consent has been given and never taken back, the solution is equally simple: no problems are to be expected. If consent has been given and then taken back, the solution is more complex. While it is always possible to take back consent, this does not make it retroactive. The resumption of consent has its limits. Under no circumstances can the absence of consent relate to a document or recording already published with the consent of the interested party, if the document or recording has already been lawfully made available to the public since its first publication. In this case, it does not fall within the protected, i.e. hidden, private domain. However, only what has remained private can, without the consent of the interested party, actually be revealed, distributed or brought to the attention of the public, who had not previously been aware of it, and possibly enter the realm of revenge porn. To put it simply, what is already known cannot be revealed. It's simply obvious. There should be no discussion on this point. It would therefore be very risky to attempt to characterize as revenge porn the direct or indirect republication of an image already published with the express consent of the one appearing in it or who authored it at the time of its initial publication. The law only protects what is not publicly known. A resumption of consent is only valid for the future and for images that have not been published on the day consent is resumed. Other images are already public, and more often than not circulate at the speed of social networks. They will therefore never fall under the heading of revenge porn or unauthorized use. III/ The moral element In Romano-Germanic law, this is an intentional offence. Thus, in French law, in accordance with the first paragraph of Article 121-3 of the Penal Code, there is no crime or misdemeanor without intent to commit it. With regard to the first paragraph of Article 226-2-1 of the French Penal Code, intent can be deduced directly from the facts: the perpetrator is fully aware that by acting in this way, he is violating a person's sexual intimacy. However, with regard to paragraph 2 of this Article, the moral element seems more specific. It can be deduced directly from the phrase “in the absence of agreement”. By disseminating images or videos, the offender is therefore necessarily aware that he is harming the identified person and going against his consent, even though these images and videos were captured “with the express or presumed consent of the person or by himself”, when he is aware that he is acting expressly without the victim's consent. However, if the offence is intentional, the intent must be culpable or malignant. It's a mistake to think that it doesn't matter whether the 'poster' intended to do something (revenge, attention, shame, blackmail, praise, etc.) or whether it's impossible to be recognized. On the contrary, these two questions are essential. In fact, any good jurist will note that it must be proven that there is an intention to violate the privacy of the person whose recordings or documents of sexual words or images, not yet public knowledge, are revealed with the aim of harming him. It must also be proven that the author was aware that he was acting without the consent of the person concerned. The absence of consent to publish images or documents, which does not include previously authorized publications, does not therefore apply to publications already produced with the consent of the person concerned, which in fact circulate by themselves on the networks... Furthermore, the text accompanying the publication will be decisive in determining whether it is vengeful, denunciatory or identifying. Intentionality also means that the person must be recognizable or identifiable. An image that can only be identified by the individual in it, its author or someone very close to one of these people - in the latter case, a very jealous one who is ready, rightly or wrongly, to ruin the lives of others in this respect, even if he has already seen the images before - would not be sufficient to establish that the publication was expressly aimed at the guilty intention of revealing a fact infringing on the privacy of the person featured in the image, without which the slightest bottom allegedly recognized on a network would give rise to endless lawsuits. A famous New York architect was murdered by a jealous husband who thought he recognized his wife in the sculpture crowning the last building built by his victim, and deduced that they were lovers. Calm must therefore always prevail in these cases, even if I know that the jealous nature of some is so irrational, malicious and pathological that it leads them to stop at nothing to pass themselves off as victims and justify their own offences. For there are other offenses too, such as publicly accusing someone of revenge porn and spreading the word to convince the spanking “community” that a guy is shady, in the hope of seeing him disappear for good from the virtual space of specialized networks. Then there's accusing someone of taking photos or videos without telling you or against your consent, without providing proof. In both cases, this is known in criminal law as the denunciation of an imaginary offence... and here again, intent is perfectly necessary and easily identifiable in certain cases. There is also the abuse of weakness and control, which give rise to unacceptable psychological manipulation and pressure on certain fragile individuals that can seriously damage their health, all the more so when these actions are expressly aimed at using these psychological flaws to abuse them. And unfortunately, there is always a type of doms or spankers who believe that they can enter a brain with impunity and clean it up, destroying what they don't like and reshaping the rest. This kind of behavior must never be accepted. It's the worst kind of perversion, and the most dangerous. I believe that a spankee who is too fragile must be protected and not used or abused.  

Unfortunately, there are far more websites and apps for meeting spankos than there are actual places. While “face-to-face” means you don't have to introduce yourself without knowing who you're talking to, and you can simply get to know them, “remote” displays are far more sophisticated and tricky. In the end, it's all very complicated, and it's always a good idea to adapt your presentation to the website in question and the people you want to get in touch with. I find this fastidious and often discouraging, not to mention time-consuming, and it can sometimes leave you feeling a little bitter. So it's best to give a little thought to what needs to be said. You have to present yourself while protecting yourself, attract without lying, reveal without betraying, show without betraying, establish your reputation and finally turn your experiences into advantages. To learn the art of virtual conversion, you also need to think about how to make contact and how to end it. Introduce yourself while protecting yourself, attract without lying A profile is often the first contact with a potential partner. It may even be the only one. So long as it's complete and attractive, authentic and honest. Some may see it, based on market research, as an effective and exclusive competitive tool, and potentially as a chance for monopoly or near monopoly, while others may be less utilitarian and ambitious, and want it as a visiting card designed solely for making contacts or new acquaintances. The key element of a profile remains the description, which generally takes up just a few lines, depending on the website, and is the first place to introduce yourself and at the very least attract attention. This description, however succinct and artificial in a way, must be neither empty nor off-putting. It should be immediately identifiable and eye-catching. If not already displayed in other profile fields, the minimum information required for a description is : - Place of residence and ability to receive guests or travel; - Age, physical description (height, weight, body type), experience; - Languages understood, written and spoken; - A description of what you like and what you're looking for; - Target audience: age range, body type, spanking type, possibly sexuality; - Its strict limits: for example, no scenarios, no blood, no traces, no sex, etc. In this description, there are also pitfalls to avoid: - Obviously, having an empty or all-purpose description; In general, this doesn't attract and blends in with the mass of profiles; - Focusing on what you want to do with a potential partner, without really saying anything about yourself or the people you want to meet; A general, fantastical description immediately attracts the wankers and trolls of the Net whom you'll never meet; - Be too technical, literary or cerebral; It's better to remain understandable to all at first; It's only after the first contact that the exchange can be elevated according to the person you're talking to, unless you want to meet only one type of partner; At the outset, it's best to remain open and accessible to all; - Take over all or part of the description of another spanko, especially if he or she is recognized on the website in question, or even on most specialized sites; Inspiration is not forbidden when you lack it, but you still need to know how to adapt it and come back to yourself. With practice, you'll soon realize what's going wrong, and it's not forbidden to modify your description and adapt it according to feedback, or even the absence of feedback, which is more worrying and should lead to a complete revision of your profile. Reveal yourself without betraying yourself, show without betraying Putting photos on your profile is a good way of showing what you like and what you do. Sometimes it's a single profile photo, sometimes one or more albums. Choosing your photo or pics therefore deserves special attention. Face, hand, lower body, place, implement, one of your spankings, a drawing or a pic of a spanking you like found on the net, but in this case it's better to use studio photos, so there's no ambiguity or source of misunderstanding. If albums can be used, they should be composed with discretion. They should tell you more about what you do and what you like than a description, because images speak louder than words, even if the photos used are borrowed from the Internet. Naturally, the albums will be composed by theme, representing a practice, an implement, a position, etc., representative of what you do or what you like. You have to be imaginative and take care to show a fantasy world in which someone can recognize themselves and want to be part of it, but it also has to be personal, as close as possible to the truth of what you do or can do. Then you need to find the right captions. If you use pictures from studios or other spankos, you need to credit them or put them in an album whose title indicates that the picture come from the net. Whatever you think, you should never use photos from other fans without crediting them, let alone claiming them as your own. Not only is this discourteous and dishonest, but it also quickly undermines your credibility. The wording of captions must also be carefully considered. If the comment is silly or degrading, there's little chance that the pic, even if exceptional, can make up for the disastrous effect, which will also reflect on the entire profile. It's best to remain neutral when posting photos and captions. They should be informative rather than disruptive, attractive rather than repellent. Laying the foundations of a virtual reputation With the exception of deliberate and malicious denigration, which is so difficult to combat in the virtual world of rumors and possible neuroses, exchanges are quite desirable to transform a totally virtual profile into reality, to give it existence and depth. Reading what people write, replying to it and asking questions - even about members of this “community” - shouldn't be controversial. It's normal to inform ourselves and others. It's only right to do so honestly and fairly, and always to be cautious about the information you gather in this way. Testimony is only testimony at best, especially when you don't know the witness. A negative statement may be nothing more than a rumor, pure malice or even revenge. You can only share what you have experienced or seen yourself. On the other hand, you must be careful not to spread mere rumours or unverifiable and often malicious hearsay. Moreover, it is generally advisable to be wary of excessive or derogatory remarks reported by someone who has not experienced what he is talking about. As I've said elsewhere, it's undoubtedly important to ensure that your encounters are safe, sane and consensual. So you need to be careful when looking for a profile that matches your needs. First and foremost, you have to respect your own limits, and those of the people you're meeting. Anyone who thinks they can do what they want and only what they want, especially if they're a spanker, is a bad partner and can only create a very bad reputation for himself in the long run. You really must set strict limits, and stick to them as long as the agreement is not revised. A partner who claims to have no limits, or is unwilling to accept any, is the harbinger of certain disaster. It's best to avoid meeting such a partner, either as a spanker or as a spankee. The framework must always be precisely defined in advance, including any possible changes during the session. Among the important limits that shape a profile and its virtual reputation are those relating first and foremost to sex. This question is the most important before any meeting, as it can determine a real boundary between spankos for a variety of reasons. And surprise sex is never desirable, and can lead to a lot of disappointment and unnecessary problems. When it comes to sex, nudity and physical contact are essential. Some people are very rigid about this. There are parts of the body that can be touched and others that cannot, parts that can be undressed and others that cannot. It seems to me that it's always the spankee who decides on these two aspects, as well as on the sexual question, but in the latter, unlike the first two, the spankee proposes and the spanker agrees or not. Then there's often the question of marks and bruises. Then there's the question of the marital status of your partner, who may legitimately want to preserve his marital life, while his usual partner may be unaware of his “extra-marital” practices. The real difficulty is that a spankee doesn't always know how his skin reacts, especially if it's the first time or if he doesn't practice much. Everyone's skin reacts differently. Some mark at the slightest blow, no matter how insignificant, while others don't mark at all, even if the blows are extremely severe. If the spankee doesn't know how his skin reacts, he should say so, and then it's up to the spanker to know how to handle his implements, and to stop before crossing the set limit. Sometimes, however, the marks don't appear until several hours after the end of the session. In such cases, it's best to remain cautious and never spank beyond the area covered by the underwear normally worn by the spankee. This will make it easier to hide any marks for a few days. Then there's the question of pain. Some people want it, others don't. If a spanker wants to hurt and the spankee prefers other elements of spanking to pain, it's best to pass. In any case, you mustn't exceed the spankee's pain limit, especially if you're not a caretaker. In my opinion, a spanker should always carry a lightening cream for bruises or a moisturizing cream, and even an arnica-based cream for pain. The spankee can always bring his own cream if there's one that works for him. There are never too many limits. There are only the limits required by the spankee and the spanker. If you find that there are too many limits, or that the limits of the spankee and the spanker are incompatible, don't insist. The result would be failure and even embarrassment. You can always ask for certain limits to be gradually pushed back, but only if you're in a second or third meeting, and after clearly discussing them. You have to be aware of the limits of those with whom you exchange virtually, as well as those you actually meet, but you also have to be aware of your own limits. The scarcity of opportunities to meet people shouldn't lead you to accept just any encounter. It's hard to force yourself to do so sometimes. Especially when the other partner seems so cute, so experienced, so attractive, etc., to refuse to see him, even if what he's asking for is far removed from your own interests, but if he really isn't what you're looking for, you have to learn to refuse. If, in spite of everything, you decide to meet someone who isn't quite what you're looking for, or even if you've met someone who was exactly what you were looking for but something didn't work out during the session, it's all right to call it a day. It's better to stay on good terms and show that no matter what happens, respecting the limits of your spanking is the most important thing, and the only thing that will count afterwards for your virtual reputation. The same goes for a spankee who has made a lot of claims before meeting someone, then in the course of the session has multiplied the limits that had never been expressed despite several requests, has modified his desires and demands at the last moment, he can only exasperate the spanker and convince him never to see him again. It's also important to know how to say no if you're particularly solicited. There are spankers who receive many requests and spankees who attract all the spankers in the neighborhood, the city, the region, the country and even the continent. Whatever happens, it's important to discuss whether the meeting is possible, and if not, to say no. I wouldn't go so far as to say that you should follow your instincts, because instincts mean nothing and are often the reflection of an illusion or neurose. No, you have to remain rational and know how to deduce from what you read and see whether the meeting is possible, and it's always yes or no. “Maybe” really means no! Secondly, the outcome of the meeting can only depend on the meeting itself and nothing else. In the virtual world, your reputation and the good image you project on your profile make it easier for people to meet you, especially those who wouldn't have wanted to meet you without some feedback from partners who were satisfied with their session. The ones we've actually met are our only real promoters! We can use the functions on some sites to indicate who can vouch for your services. This means checking out who you've met and asking them to do the same. It's better to ask before checking, though. Some people prefer not to leave a trace. It's strange, but that's the way it is. It's true that they may want to escape stalkers and jealousy. Unfortunately, there are some. But we mustn't hesitate to ask our regulars if they agree to be our references for those who are reluctant to meet us. We should also ask their permission to post their photos or videos on our profile if we've taken pictures! The photos of our parties are our signatures and our best visiting cards. They should be carefully selected from those accepted by your partner, and never be given a disastrous caption. The virtual world is as fickle as it is irrational. Let's be true to our conscience and to our partners. Let's respect them and make sure we're respected. Let's post beautiful images that have been selected, sorted and accepted. Let's delete them if the interested party requests it. Nor should we abuse capricious, inconsiderate or manipulative requests. In return, we must be wary of virtual reputations based on rumors or excessive comments made by envious or bitter people, because this unfortunately also exists, alas. Let's stay on good terms with the spankos in our area, or at the very least let's not participate in the damaging game of rumors, because the guys in our geographical area are an excellent source of information about who's a pervert, a banned word, a wanker or on the contrary an excellent or good partner, who respects everyone's desires and only cares about himself. However, whatever happens, you must avoid slandering or speaking ill of another spanko for any reason whatsoever. You must remain neutral and objective, and speak only of what you know and have personally experienced. I've been subjected to the baseness of a bitter and jealous young man for the wrong reasons and in a totally irrational way. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. From now on, I'll only say what I've experienced unreservedly about him, but I'll leave it up to those who read me to make up their own minds in the end. Rumors are hard to fight and unnecessarily destructive. In the end, it's the whole “community” that suffers. In the end, you have to turn your experiences into assets Once you've had a few experiences and, by chance, established a more regular relationship with one or more partners, you need to take advantage of these opportunities to improve your skills, both technically and psychologically. With time and an ongoing relationship, you develop a certain trust with your partner. You can confide in them more easily, deepen your fantasies, progress in your practice, rectify mistakes from past sessions... You need to talk sincerely, about everything, your life, your history and spanking. When you have this kind of fantasy, it doesn't come from nowhere and it doesn't fit into anything. It responds to a need that must be understood, respected and fulfilled. Under no circumstances is spanking simply an activity in which a spanker takes pleasure in using a spankee as a tambourine or punching bag, unless he is completely stupid or a bastard. Unfortunately, such individuals do exist, particularly among novices who stop at the mere appearance of the blows given and a fantasy of humiliation and domination at a good price. In reality, these individuals will never make good spankos. The inescapable rule is that the needs of the one being spanked always come first, even if the needs of the one giving the spanking must not be counted for nothing. That's why verbal exchange during and after spanking is so important. We shouldn't hesitate to enter into a relationship with a partner we like, who seems perfectly suited to what we're looking for and to whom we can give what they want. This requires discussion. You don't kick a partner out of your home two minutes after you've finished exercising, or walk away two minutes later. If you do, there's a good chance that the session didn't live up to everyone's expectations, or at least one of them. You have to learn to talk, to calm down and to take care of each other after the spanking, to return to the ordinary world in a way. You also need to know how to keep in touch in the hours that follow - and even in the days that follow for the less experienced - to find out if all is well, both psychologically and physically. Contacting and ending a discussion, a difficult art to acquire This is a recurring question when you find a profile that interests you. We're not necessarily sure of ourselves, nor ready to face failure, let alone silence or immediate blocking without explanation. Silence and blocking are the solutions found by louts who have never learned to dialogue or simply to say no in a proper and courteous manner. This is often a generational fault, but it's not the only one. In any case, sending a message to a Spanko who seems interesting costs nothing, and neither does replying, even if it's negative. There's no need to get formal or indignant about it. Only unexplained silences and blockages should be condemned. As a general rule, simply read the profile, and if it appears that an approach is possible, send a simple, polite message. You can always send a message extending the description of your profile, with the necessary adaptation to the profile you've just read. If you really want to, you can already add a potential availability and a more precise location than in your profile. This message might as well be clear, basic and decent. It's simply an introduction, which will either lead to a polite refusal, normally if you're dealing with a well-educated person, or to acceptance of contact, in which case all you need to do is enter into more in-depth discussions about what's expected and the practicalities of an eventual meeting. You can always wait to receive messages. If you're new or just starting out, or if you don't have a reputation that attracts curiosity, you're unlikely to be contacted spontaneously. On the other hand, when you're starting to become well established and are known to a number of Spankos, have an extensive profile or enjoy a good reputation, then yes, you can expect to receive messages, and not necessarily from those you're most spontaneously interested in. It doesn't matter, though, except for those who insist despite repeated refusals: if you're not interested, just say no and leave it at that. Otherwise, you need to get into the discussion to find out whether or not a meeting is possible. Experience has taught me that when the discussion is too short, the meeting can't be a good one. On the contrary, when the discussion drags on, the meeting will never take place. Let's face it. Finally, among the shortcomings of the modern age is the apparently common practice, particularly among the younger generations, of never replying, as if silence were equivalent to an answer, or even, as in the case of the administration, to a refusal. Worse still, there's the habit of blocking even when there's no obvious reason to do so. Apart from the rules of politeness, which have not been learned by the interested party, the reasons may be diverse. Silence may be due to an avalanche of messages and the impossibility of replying immediately, because you're not alone, because you don't have time to engage in a conversation, because you don't yet know what to answer, or whatever. In this case, just try again a little later, or even a few days or weeks later. It could also be a phony profile, or that of a fantasist who has no real intention of meeting anyone and would just like to have a look around. It may even be a guy who hasn't really been honest on his profile and has frankly lied about his age, physical condition or desires, and who knows full well that he can't answer us and will never be able to meet us, or that the meeting will be a disaster. In these three cases, we have nothing to regret. Then there are those who engage in a serious discussion that may have taken us some time, and then either don't reply or block. In this case, we can be sure that we've been dealing with a wanker and that by the end of the exchange, he's reached the desired result and gone to wipe his hands. Maybe one day, he'll want to move on to a real exercise and taste another, more intense pleasure. You have to wait. Always know how to wait. Then there's the question of shooting. I've already talked about this, but I think it's important to bear in mind the rules that apply, apart from simple courtesy and politeness, so that this issue doesn't become a means of pressure or manipulation for either the spanker or the spankee, and even less so for third parties. This will be the subject of the next blog.

You may have known him as Ben or Ben Bear or Onkel Ben or Onkel Chen, or by his given name ‘Benjamin’ – I knew him as all of those but to me he was always ‘Onky’ – and that is how I addressed him, even when I was over his lap.   The one thing I want to tell you is that he taught me true respect and humility and I want to echo his thoughts on this because honestly, we should all listen.  Life is short, we will never always agree with one another and sometimes we can get mad or emotional about things, and quite often those things we get mad about are ‘little things.’  Let it go guys, and move on, life is precious.   He was more than just a member of this community and he was very much loved.    His memory will be honored on the site and I know he enjoyed it very much.   He was fun and quirky, that is for sure and I will share a few cherished moments.   The first time I met him here in Phoenix, we hugged and his hand patted the seat of my shorts, a few times, almost as if to say ‘we are friends but I can and I will spank your bottom’.   Two hours later and without going into detail as to why, I found my ear grabbed, taken to the spanking chair and my shorts and briefs were lowered at a speed that I could not believe.  I was soundly spanked and the lesson was repeated in the morning.   He is also (other than Denis) the only other person that has administered a review and punishment session.  A couple of years ago when he visited, Denis had hurt his arm and was wearing a sling.  He asked Onky if he would deal with me and of course he was only too happy to oblige.   Let me tell you, when Onky said ‘No rubbing’ in the corner he meant it 100%, and when I did, it was more spanking and the corner time restarted to zero.   I remember him for the man he was, for the respect I had for him and for the cherished moments I will never forget we had together.   Rest In Peace Onky, you are in our hearts and in our minds and were and are very much loved.   Xxxx   James

With the virtual world taking over in general, and the world of spanking in particular, being a spanker or spankee isn't easy, and finding partners isn't simple, or even insurmountable for some. Of course, where we live is important. Since the spanking community is small, the fewer neighbors we have, the greater the likelihood of being the only spanko for miles around. In France, Paris may be an exception in this respect, but it's no paradise: the virtuality of relationships amplifies the obstacles, real or imagined. The existence of places like the Bunker in London, the Böse Buben or the Quälgeist in Berlin or the Church in Amsterdam encourages real encounters and real acquaintance with those who share our particular pleasure, but in Paris only the Keller offers a monthly party, and the latter is shunned by many - wrongly, it seems to me, but that's the way it is, and the battle against prejudice and irrational phobias is lost in advance, alas. So, since it seems that the virtual link must prevail and become inescapable, in France no doubt, but elsewhere too, we might as well think about the best way to become a spanker who effectively meets spankees and slowly but surely builds a network of friends, and vice versa for a spankee. This blog is neither a guide nor a catalog of principles to be followed, just a food for thought, and I encourage everyone to make their own constructive contribution to an edifice that I'd still prefer to be real rather than virtual. First of all, it's best to determine what we want and what can be “put on the market” with the electronic high-fives. We need to ask ourselves what attracts us to spanking, to try and understand what we like a priori, and to identify the practice in which we'll be comfortable, so we can be a good partner. It seems to me impossible to enter this “community”, and establish a profile if need be, without having asked ourselves this question and found a simple and certain answer. In any case, the image we offer on the networks depends solely on this prerequisite. If we're not sure and clear about what we want and like, what we find attractive and what we don't, it will be difficult to establish a reliable and attractive profile and get in touch with anyone. Each of us is unique, but we need to find common links, if not common places, to find a partner. So the traits that can serve as a basis for determining a sociable profile can be broken down as follows: a fetish (kink) deeply rooted in our psyche or our imagination; we experienced it before adulthood and we'd like to play it over; we received it by chance as part of an meeting of a completely different nature, but it turned us on and we want to deepen this aspect of our sexuality or sensuality; we have an old, unexplained inclination, never experienced before adulthood; we have a penchant for the punitive aspect of this practice; we'd like to be the one to turn other men's spanking fantasies into reality; we imagine this relationship in terms of coaching or directing, educating, etc.; we've enjoyed spanking as a sexual preliminary and want to develop this preliminary into a full-fledged practice; we have broader BDSM practices and sometimes want to refocus on this practice alone in certain circumstances; we've seen a video or photo that has revealed to us a fantasy world we'd never suspected; and so on. There's no shortage of reasons, and we can think of many more. In all cases, we need to determine our likes and dislikes in order to establish a profile and describe the type of spanking sessions we're looking for or can offer. Secondly, you need to be aware that you'll need to determine the place, time and foreseeable duration of a meeting. This is perhaps the most crucial question, as there are many material disadvantages which can become real obstacles to a real meeting in a private space. Living in a big city and close to public transport is obviously a clear advantage. And I can honestly only talk about what I know. I'm a Parisian. A city is an undeniable opportunity for this practice. I imagine that outside a large conurbation, this practice can only be conditional on extensive travel, which makes it even more problematic as we're not inclined to travel miles for the King of Prussia (i.e "to do 'something' for nothing", French expression for which I don't know the English equivalent, if you know it, I'd be interested😁). In any case, a trip has to be prepared, and the pre-meeting exchange is all the more necessary as we need to be sure of his fate before embarking on the road. As a general rule, it's the spanker who gets spankee, but there are exceptions to this rule. It's more convenient for the spanker, who doesn't have to move his implements. That said, the spankee may also have fetish implements that he would like to receive and should therefore bring with him. In short, going to a stranger's house to receive a correction is intriguing and unsettling enough to form the basis of a satisfying scenario. Indeed, being at home gives the spanker a certain ease and places him in a situation of added vulnerability, while at the same time giving him a certain assurance. Certainly, very few criminals act at home, and if they do, it's almost entirely by accident. It seems to me superfluous to point out that, in such cases, the premises must be welcoming and clean. The most elementary rules of courtesy and politeness apply, especially if we want to see our partner again. When, for one reason or another, we can't host a party, or the hostess lives too far away, it's perfectly possible to find a hotel or an Airbnb, or even a Love Hotel. In Paris, we're lucky enough to have one near Les Halles, which is very central and perfectly suited to this kink. No one to complain about the noise or give you the stink eye. There's even a room with a spanking bench. It's ideal if you can't entertain... But for some, it'll always be a deterrent. There's nothing we can do to overcome prejudice and preconceptions. Then you have to find the time. You have to make yourself available, but you can't expect to meet someone at the last minute. You need a stable and organized schedule, and above all you need to take the time to prepare for the meeting a few days beforehand, but not months in advance. Of course, for some people, the need for a spanking is an impulse that needs to be dealt with quickly. In this case, two or three days seems a reasonable amount of time. In short, the preparation time depends on both partners. The only thing that's ruled out is a last-minute meeting. The Grindr spirit is not the ideal of this kink. What's more, a good spanking is one that lasts as long as is necessary for each partner to achieve what they wanted before the meeting. More often than not, it's the spankee and his stamina that determine the duration of the correction. In any case, a 15-minute spanking will rarely be satisfactory for both partners. You need to take into account moments of rest, cornering, possible discussions... The duration should also depend on travel time. No one will go for a short spanking if a journey of several hours has to be made. Time must be adapted to each individual's needs, but also to each person's involvement in the meeting, especially if the journey is cross-border. Thirdly, we need to know the fundamentals of spanking, from a technical, psychological and behavioral point of view. Spanking is not hitting. Hitting is only one aspect of spanking. We can't and shouldn't want to hit or be hit anywhere, anyhow. Spanking depends on the anatomy of the buttocks. And we have to learn where to spank and where not to spank. The four classic zones. Above all, the spanker needs to learn the gestures to adopt. Hand position, rhythm, variation of rhythm, dosage and intensity, time-outs and restarts. A spanking is a variation on a simple gesture. However, if we stick to a single gesture, the exercise will quickly become boring, if not tedious. This simple gesture can be developed and improved. From a flat hand to a curved one, fingers clenched or spread apart, a stroke placed or slapped, pressed or caressed, regular or irregular cadence, counted or rhythmic series, the range of possibilities is finally rich enough to surprise a spankee and thus increase his desire and/or pleasure, and in turn that of the one administering the punishment. Administering takes on its full meaning here. Defining, controlling and adapting the spanking are essential. Body language is also important. General movement, legs, feet, head, moans, cries, complaints, tears, real or simulated, all these signs of the spankee side are important. Voice, tone, commands, poise, tranquility, determination, the ability to alternate strokes and caresses, threat, execution and reassurance are all important signs of the spanker side. For both, the look is fundamental. The guiding principle of this practice is Safe, Healthy and Consensual, abbreviated SSC. It's a prerequisite for any activity of a more or less BDSM nature. We need to learn to practice an activity that is Safe, in order to prevent health risks; Healthy, i.e. initiated within a healthy mental framework; and Consensual, as activities must be fully consented to by both partners. This should not prevent full responsibility, as consent can be inoperative in the face of criminal liability for any injury caused, physically or psychologically. This last point leads directly to the Risk Aware Consensual Kink, abbreviated RACK, i.e. the principle that emphasizes responsibility, consensual action, recognition and personal, explicit acceptance of risk. Both spanker and spankee must have a high level of awareness of the risks associated with this activity. This does not stop at the immediately visible marks. Some people have confused psyches that can be dangerous; in another blog I talked about manipulative narcissistic perverts and parasitic personalities. There are other psychological traumas that can sometimes interfere with this practice. The victim is not necessarily the spanker... It's a complex world. Finally, there'saftercare, the care and attention after a session that serves to stabilize both partners emotionally and reduce any unnecessary stress. The use of creams either for the marks or for the pain is recommended. In general, this also prolongs the partners' pleasure. Ultimately, to optimally mitigate any risk, we need to think seriously, at all times, about the safety, technical and boundary aspects of each of our partners. We need to consider emergency signals, known as safewords, to guarantee access to first-aid equipment in case of need. Signs, hand movements or gestures can also be defined for situations where it is difficult or impossible to speak. These words or gestures can be graduated like traffic lights, from green to red. It's important to discuss possible physical and psychological reactions in advance. Consent must be explicit before any meeting, and revocable only at the moment of action. We need to feel at ease, and make sure that the limits set are respected at all times. Dialogue does not end at the beginning of the meeting, but only at the end, although it may be extended or resumed for clarification or correction. Any session can come to a premature end. We have to know how to say “no”, on both the spanker's and the spankee's side. We have to accept it. On the other hand, once the action has been exhausted, there's no honest way of going back on consent. Consent is essential, but it must not be used as a weapon to harass, stalk or threaten the other person. I've been with two individuals who have suffered the effects of this ultimate perversion in a three-way game. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The best thing is to guard against it and immediately eject anyone who plays with the notion of consent the day after an encounter. We may or may not consent, but we don't use consent as an afterthought. This is intolerable in a small community like ours, where the fundamental values of consent, confidentiality, respect, kindness and mutual care should preside over any mature, responsible relationship. Finally, we need to know how to reasonably enrich the range of spankings. The use of the hand is essential to differentiate a good spanker from a mediocre or bad one. Use and learning are the only way to train. Observe, understand, imitate, reproduce, and finally discard models to acquire your own techniques. Imple≤ments are also essential, because to vary the intensity and duration of a spanking, you need to vary the sensations. And every implement creates a different impression. Where to spank is relatively easy to learn. We need to watch videos, see what the spankers do, how the spankee behave. Only then can we really know. We also need to learn to read body language and know where the spanker or the spankee are in their psyche. Indeed, in addition to the pain felt or given, the main sexual organ being the brain, many elements such as humiliation, frustration, regression, trust, abandonment or submission, as giver or receiver, enter into the affair. Having been spanked is an advantage for the spanker, but not a necessity. As far as implements are concerned, there is little point in having a table entirely covered with a variety of expensive implements. The first spankings should be mainly manual. And a hand muscles itself in a certain way. The implements come next: belts, brushes, ping-pong paddles, flip-flops, wooden rulers and spoons, slippers, national spanking instruments like the English cane, the Scottish tawse, the American paddle or the French martinet. And we can always imagine others. But be careful to use them wisely, taking into account the spankee's desires and abilities, the spanker's skills and the intrinsic qualities of each implement. Hard implements hurt more than leather ones, but after all, it's just a question of use and dose. It goes without saying that implements should not be used in their dangerous aspect, like a belt buckle. In any case, everyone should discover them at their own pace. Spankees sometimes have fetishes, as do spankers. One will hold the brush, another the martinet or the belt. We have to adapt without giving up our limits or our own desires. If an instrument doesn't suit you, don't insist. We have to admit that we don't know how to use an implement, or that we never will. It's also important to respect the limits of spankee. Some implements are frightening, overly so or for good reason, while others are unappealing or repulsive for various reasons. Never insist. There are still two points to consider. The creation of a profile and the question of images taken during our meetings. I'll deal with them another time.

Good Day to all you naughty boys, and as a friend of mine would say 'phooey to all you dads' and sirs' - okay just joking, keep your hairbrushes on!   I am planning on core updates this month, more to follow that will see a number of improvements.   We may move to a better video module, depending on poll results and I want to emphasize we will not lose our current videos, they will remain accessible.   One thing I am keen on is bringing back arrowchat, we actually bought and paid for a business license for this software, but it stopped working after we did an upgrade.  It is much better that our current chat system and includes both voice and video chat.  I think the problem is due to short URL's during the plugin installation which may need to be temporary disabled until completed.  I won't know until I try and we do have some tech guys on here, so I may reach out to them for ideas but I really do want to get it fixed.   If I have mis spelled some words or my grammer is not approved, the I say 'Phooey'!   hugs   James    

If you regret having met a partner you'd never met before, or if you're looking forward to seeing a partner with whom you had a wonderful first meeting, it's because, deep down, all the ingredients for a good or bad relationship are usually in place when you first meet. It's easy to believe that it's all the fault of one party or the other, but that's a mistake. Rather, it's the result of a mixed bag of pre and post communication problems, choices, organization, availability, inexperience, dishonesty and sometimes abuse on the part of one or the other. Don't imagine that only the spanker can be an abuser; the spankee can be too. There's really no reason to think that you'll necessarily be dealing with an abuser. Even if the session was unsatisfactory, the problem is often simpler. In any case, dialogue is better than the staggering reflex of Generation Z and millennials: blocking and/or silence, sometimes coupled with the gossip of virtual conversations. These ridiculous situations must be avoided. Refusing to talk is always harmful. But if spanking is a physical exchange, it's one that can only take place after another exchange, verbal and fantastical, essential and necessarily longer than a few sentences for Grindr or other sites of this kind. It's not a last-minute “date” by nature. So we need to banish the reflexes of immediate consumption. And dialogue is the only condition for an excellent meeting and then for a good ongoing relationship. A failed session can have many causes, but it's always a certain frustration or bitterness that marks the failure. A good session, on the other hand, is based on a current that has flowed. That's easy if the current is based essentially on physical and seductive considerations, but in this "kink" in general it's not enough. Above all, it's the sharing of a common vision of this activity, and common expectations that are fully met, that make for success. There's no problem that can't be solved or prevented by communication, apart from cases of abuse of course. But on this subject I don't intend to say anything. Normally, everyone should be aware of what they should and shouldn't do on a moral level. If the spankee (most of the time) has the impression or feeling of having been sexually assaulted or raped, it's up to him to denounce the aggressor. In this case, unfortunately, we're no longer dealing with the fantasy of spanking, but with the repression of predation. I'm not interested in predators. I've known one, and he's retired, so much the better; it's not worth discussing. The only real problems that can't be solved, even if discussing them isn't forbidden, at least to avoid regrets, remorse, bitterness or resentment. Incompatible expectations, inexperience or lack of experience, stupidity or a predatory or parasitic mentality are the only real shortcomings that I don't think can be resolved through dialogue. Not solved, of course, but talking about it in any case won't be useless so that everyone knows why it didn't work and what they need to do for the future. What doesn't work with one person may work with another. There's nothing definitive, and this in no way prejudges the quality of the spanker or the spankee. Through communication, it's always possible to find common ground, even if you come to the conclusion that you're not right for each other. Staying on good terms anyway isn't a bad thing when you're playing in such a small and peculiar community where, sometimes, some people are inclined to say just about anything about anyone. It seems to me that you should never meet anyone without first discussing everything that will determine the session to come. You can never ask enough questions, nor can you ask stupid questions. Sometimes, you even have to ask a question again, clarifying it to make sure there are no misunderstandings. Anyone who gets irritated by the questions asked runs the risk of being a neophyte or inexperienced, or simply a fantasist. Precisely, the discussion should not be about fantasies and more or less hot stories. The exchange isn't there to entertain a story that might help someone jerk off behind his screen. On the contrary, you need to anticipate and determine everything that needs to be determined before the session. Questions should be practical and aimed at the concrete implementation of the date, not a catalog of fantasies. Once you've a priori that your age, size, stature, physical condition and state of mind are compatible, the following Ten Points are undoubtedly part of the necessary dialogue, a catalog of unavoidable commandments for preparing and enjoying the session when the time comes. 1/ Scenario or not; if so, which elements; don't envisage a role-play that's unrealistic or not to your liking; set the limits of the scenario and determine whether or not a deviation is possible; a safe word or not. 2/ The implements, which ones and their choice, determined in advance or left to the discretion of one of the two, a prioriof the spanker however, but to be seen. 3/ The duration of the spanking and its intensity; its progressiveness; possible marks and bruises, bearing in mind that this is not always easy to predict, especially for a novice who doesn't know how to measure his blows or how his skin will react; you can also use creams, such as Hemoclar (French - in pharmacy), which, as its name suggests, clears up hematomas; arnica won't help against marks, but it will be useful against pain. 4/ Speech during the session; verbal spanking, or not, or very little; what words to use; what tone to adopt; in general this goes with the idea of scenario or absence of any staging. 5/ Other forms of punishment: slaps or no slaps; ear or hair pulling; corner times (duration and positions too); secondary punishments that you value or reject. 6/ Positions; required dress, clothes and underwear; undressing, and who undresses and gets undressed or not; shaving, if any, before or during the session. 7/ Caresses, whether allowed or not; which areas are allowed and which are not. 8/ Whether or not sex is possible, and which acts: from simple kissing to penetration, the range is wide; if sex is possible, when? 9/ Quiet times: small talk, about anything and everything, specific things determined in advance, snacks...; alcohol or not (not recommended in my opinion); the same goes for narcotics (personally, strictly no! I'm just looking at possible cases). 10/ Respecting consent: what is determined before the meeting must be respected; if a change occurs during the meeting, it must be consented to by both parties; the presence of a third; the participation of this third party in the action; whether or not filming or photography is allowed, and if so, what the limits are, and for what purpose. By respecting these rules of communication, without becoming formalized, impatient or irritated by all these questions, and without letting yourself be drawn into a sterile conversation that will only nourish a fantasy that will never be lived, you can normally prepare a session correctly. The remainder is a matter of chance, of whether the current flows or not, of your state of mind at the right moment. That said, a bad session is not necessarily significant. A better one can rectify the situation. Especially if the dialogue has resumed on the points that didn't work. As spanking between men falls into the very specific area of consensual violence between adults, communication is very important, and is the only way to reduce the risk of misunderstandings and misunderstandings. Everyone must remain responsible for what they want and what the other one doesn't want. In the end, these are the only two obligations of a good spanking-partner: that he looks after what he wants and what you want. When everyone does the same, the meeting is never totally bad.

This is a strange and barbaric name for, for want of a better word, an enthusiast of spanking, whether spanker or spankee. However, while it may seem easier to protect yourself from a disastrous spankee - which is just a misperception, but a minor one nonetheless - it's much harder to protect yourself from the grip of a toxic spanker. Undeniably, finding a partner who shares this fetish can be an undertaking that is, if not perilous, at least legitimately distressing. But that's not the hard part. Websites specializing in this activity offer a wide range of spankers and spankees. The difficulty lies in translating the virtuality of a profile, more or less faithful to reality, into the concreteness of a potential physical encounter. Sharing a common interest in spanking is a good start, but not enough. Discerning a reliable, respectful partner who corresponds in every way to your expectations isn't easy. The main obstacle to fulfilling this fantasy is fear of the unknown. It's only natural. The absence of real meeting places in France doesn't simplify the task, and the possibility of a successful experience often seems illusory. You might as well be looking for a platypus at Macy’s. As a result, a first meeting with a stranger is bound to be stressful, even if, after prolonged exchanges, the conditions seem right. The only real question is how to identify the real pervert to protect yourself as quickly as possible.                                               From a practical level, it's easy to outline the conditions required for a successful meeting. These include the need to find the right partner, to organize the date in the right way, and to ensure that your motivation truly lives up to your own expectations. The right partner is one who shares your conception of spanking, in whole or in part; who corresponds in age and physical condition to your erotic universe (for yes, spanking is part of this domain, and the first of all sexual organs remains the brain, which is only inflamed by particular physical traits that belong only to it, i.e. to each individual); and finally, those who, like you, see spanking either as a non-erotic, punitive practice, or, on the contrary, as mixed with sex or simply with assertive eroticism or cuddling. So, it's important to take your time, especially when in doubt, to determine with a profile found on a site whether or not respective expectations are compatible. It's better to have long discussions than to rush into things in such a way as to avoid disappointment. Next, the material organization is essentially a question of location, day and time. You must be prepared to make yourself somewhat available when the right partner seems to have been found. Not everything can happen by chance. It doesn't have to be a waste of time. Risking nothing has never led to anything. Finally, it's up to you to get yourself ready, motivated and ready for the big day. As the meeting has been prepared at length in a written exchange for a first date, and more succinctly for a renewal, normally the try or its conversion should not make the person who really wants to receive a spanking candidate on his knees or lie on the knees of a more or less unknown person, hesitate. Only a first encounter is necessarily, and legitimately, frightening. Immersing oneself in the unknown is not generally reassuring, but when it's a question of sharing such a particular experience, made up in part of domesticated violence, this unknown is reasonably frightening, given that the domestication of violence remains objectively the most difficult variable to apprehend. The best thing to do is to take the time to get to know each other before the meeting, even if it means arranging a pre-meeting in a café, for example. In reality, this fantasy doesn't sit well with immediate consumption. You shouldn't go onto a website and look for a spanking partner with the idea of finding a “dating” for the next hour. It's neither serious nor realistic. You need to make sure you're on the same wavelength on the subject, both in the broad outlines and in the details of implements, positions, sequences, possible scenarios, intensity, duration, limits, disrobing, nudity, physical contact, sex, safety word, etc. When a guy you've made contact with doesn't ask you any questions or gets annoyed because you're asking “too many” questions, chances are it's a bad match, or at least he's inexperienced. No regrets in this case. It's also a good idea to check out what your future partner has posted on his profile or links. There are plenty of sites and social networks to support them with visual information, giving you an idea of how he likes to practice as a spanker or spankee. Talking to other Internet users who have met the individual you're considering is often useful, even if you must be wary of testimonials, which are necessarily subjective and may not be entirely sincere. A good or bad experience is not automatically representative, and we're all different. It is therefore a help, but an opinion should not be taken as a definitive truth. The most important thing is to build mutual trust. And such trust can only be established through a prolonged and varied exchange. It's a good idea to ask questions from time to time. Confirmation is better than misunderstanding.                                  The real difficulty in a date of this kind, whether it's a spanker or a spankee, is to avoid toxic individuals. They can be quickly, and without any scientific pretension, lumped into the category of narcissistic perverts on the spanker's side or parasitic personalities on the spankee's side, but not only, most often manipulative in both cases, but any number of other profiles can arise (I won't go into them here). I'm even more aware of this because, unwillingly, even a little stupidly, I was the victim of a parasitic spankee and a narcissistic pervert spanker at the same time. I should have spotted them right away. I was professionally prepared for it, but I let myself be overwhelmed by their mastery of their respective perversions, all in a triangulation that is most classic in this scenario. Nonetheless, the advantage of a unfortunate experience, is that it can serve as a lesson for oneself and others. We have every right to want to spot them, as these guys can in some cases go as far as cruelty, or even sadism, which is not unimportant in our fetish world, where a relationship of force, domination or even violence can play a real or fantasized role. These guys are often socially well-adapted and know how to maintain an image of themselves that is attractive to the outside world. Initial exchanges are therefore always reassuring and seductive. They know the social codes and are quick to classify their interlocutor into a social box, enabling them to determine whether he is potential prey. It's when they get close and intimate that their toxic tendencies manifest themselves, notably through emotional manipulation and the devaluation of their partner, who is often first dazzled by the narcissist's brilliant attitudes and self-confidence. He proceeds like a pointillist painter, using small strokes. The stain only appears when the small stipples have accumulated sufficiently. It's even more legitimate to want to protect yourself from it, as it's not exceptional for a hold to be established with this type of personality. Lastly, there's only a very small chance - on the order of very, very close to zero - that a narcissistic pervert or parasite will question himself. So how can we spot the toxic personalities who could ruin our lives if we don't watch out quickly? As I've already written, we need to have a long discussion with a potential partner before seeing him, and during this exchange, we need to learn to be attentive to various signs that can reveal a toxic person. It's not necessary for all these signs to be present, but if many of them become obvious, then there's a problem. By definition, inordinate self-esteem presented for oneself is an early sign of a narcissistic personality. In the first instance, it appears to us as an incredibly assertive, even dominant person, which is something we regularly seek out in our fantasies. This assertiveness is often seductive at first sight, as it signals a secure personality and can subsequently suggest the solidity and reliability of the person concerned, leading us to believe that taking charge will be all the better, especially when it's a spanker we're looking for. On the other hand, the perverse side is harder to spot, as a narcissistic pervert knows how to subtly manipulate those who approach him. However, when there is a difficulty in the exchange, a difficulty in communicating with the other person for example, or a feeling of unease, guilt or fear that you can't explain when you are in the exchange with the person concerned, perversion shows its face. The other facet of perversion is parasitism. I thought, like everyone else, that this aspect was easier to detect. But it's not. Often under pleasant, encouraging and attractive appearances, it's in reality pure seduction, all the more formidable as it takes a long time to realize that you're being used, manipulated, reduced to a mere material or tactical interest, an instrument in a larger calculation in which you're really nothing. Psychologists refer to this perversion as primary narcissism. In all cases, parasitic personalities are hunters and predators like narcissistic perverts. The difference is that the former will have a parasitic lifestyle and won't hesitate to live at your expense. Everything is due, since it's given “voluntarily”. On the other hand, it's illusory to expect anything in return, even a pain au chocolat or a cup of coffee. Like all donations, consent is a one-way street. The reactions of the narcissistic or parasitic pervert are often surprising, can hurt you and leave you in a state of confusion at the end of your exchanges. Clues may lead you to ask questions about the state of your relationship with one of these two types of perverts, and the answers are usually quickly found on specialized Internet sites that present the key characteristics of these perverts, or even tests to find out if you're dealing with one. The main thing is to avoid them. Overall, perversion develops in one or other of these perverts according to historical, family or personality parameters. The origins are multiple: strong emotional deficiency during childhood, resulting in an inability to develop normally (cold, distant, maltreating, abusive parents); lack of limits imposed on the child by parental authority, resulting in an inability to understand the needs of the other and to respect them, starting with those around them and the abuse of a younger sibling, for example; sometimes an “innate” antisocial personality. Knowing this may seem of little importance, but it does enable you to spot a few signs in an exchange that should set off the alarm bells.                                 Other useful signs that can be spotted are listed below: -Inordinate or over-inflated ego, self-esteem and self-image; -Overestimated abilities (also self-indulgent self-diagnoses: HPI, autistic...); they can talk about anything with “science” and confidence; -An obsession with unlimited fantasies of success, influence, power, intelligence, beauty or perfect love; -A display of pride or even arrogance; -A conviction that they are special and unique, that they deserve more than others, that they have special rights because of their superiority; -In short, an exaggerated and unfounded perception of their importance and talents (megalomania); -The imposture that often follows (exaggerated presentation and undue use of titles, diplomas, biased or enhanced status in their role); -The use of lies therefore, and with ease to boot; -Projective identification, which sometimes enables the persons concerned to drain you of your own assets; -Using their reputation; -The desire to be in the spotlight, easily and/or systematically positioning themselves at the center of attention; -An overly seductive side; cultivating a charming, helpful and honorable image in the eyes of all; -Another side are a gravedigger of others' image; a tendency to devalue others in order to shine socially; -A preponderance for moralizing and accusing others; denigration (they're very critical of the world and those around them); -A (cruel) lack of empathy (they rejoice in the harm inflicted on others), all the more difficult to detect as such in this fantasy since this trait is precisely part of it; -Subsequent victimization (they blames others); if you object to a criticism, they'll tell you in no uncertain terms that you're responsible and guilty for their actions, inducing in you an extremely perverse sense of guilt to the point that you internalize this and condition your actions and words, going so far as to think that you might be the wrong person; -They will devalue you, diminish your qualities, make you question yourself, reconsider your self-esteem and tell you “I'm nothing without him”, since through this game the narcissistic pervert brings you on the one hand what you will have subtly lost with him on the other; -Jealousy and the need for attention (real emotional and mental vampires); -Your weakening; isolation; if you enter their sphere of action, they seek to isolate you from your loved ones, from your former relationships, in small and increasing steps; -Perverse language, i.e. language based on the narcissistic pervert mode: devaluation, guilt-tripping, victimization, hurtful innuendo, constant judgments, the art of attributing or imputing one's own actions to you, etc.; -The behavior of what psychologists call a life “hacker” (mental fog, making you dependent on everything); -The progressive negative effect on the way you think, act and relate to others in your social circle; -Discussion hacking (including hijacking his skills on a network or site); for example, it talks about you or another person... and then the narcissistic pervert makes it all about himself (“I've had the same problem”, “I've been there too”, “I've been through the same thing”, etc.), then it's all about him, others story doesn't interest him at all; -An unverifiable, magnified past; for example: “When I was young, I was a tennis champion”, “I was top of my class”, “I met the King of Norway”, “I read the whole of Heidegger”, “I was a victim of my father, my brother, so-and-so”, etc.; -For parasites, the exploitation of others to achieve their own goals and the absence or near absence of guilt due to limited empathy capacities; nothing is ever undue, it's a gift.                                            Among the techniques used is love triangulation. If you're in a relationship with this type of individual, he's probably already tried to create a triangulation situation to put himself forward. He can make you believe that someone close to him is trying to seduce him or become his lover, in order to use your jealousy or arouse your interest, and so on. Triangulation is fearsome. Then there's gaslighting, a form of mental manipulation designed to make you lose your bearings and your ability to judge, for example by distorting information or presenting it in another light or partially to favor the abuser, or by falsifying it to make the victim doubt himself and his perception of things. Finally, breadcrumbing (or Hansel and Grettelling) is a form of manipulation, whether intentional or not, which consists in acting as if you were sincerely interested and invested in a relationship with someone, when this is not the case. In concrete terms, you receive intense crumbs of love or affection from time to time, before being mentally tortured and emotionally abused again, sometimes in very subtle ways. That's it, I think I've already gone on too long for a piece of writing intended for the network screen and with the sole aim of giving a few keys to those who are naturally worried at the idea of meeting a stranger in this very special world of spanking. I'm too old to not believe in the power of the written word. It's not very seductive, but it's not useless in the long run. If it could save someone from such an unfortunate encounter, that would be a lot.                                            

Broken Curfew from Dad’s Perspective It’s wet and storming. The rain is beating against the window and the thunder rolls. Jacob lays sleeping naked beneath his quilt, oblivious to the fact that I heard him sneak in past curfew last night. I let him think that he had gotten away with it. It gave me time to calm down and him time to lull into the sense that he got away with it. Jacob is 18 but thinks he’s 30. He still lives in my house and must follow my rules. Sadly, he must learn again and again that I am the one in charge. At the break of dawn, the next morning, I walk silently into his room belt in hand. I throw back the covers and Jacob bolts awake, suddenly fully aware that he is busted and in serious trouble. He knows better than to resist, so he rolls over onto his stomach automatically assuming the spread-eagle position. WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! Jacob screams into his pillow but he’s holds steady, He knows better than to try to get away or make it stop. WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! Young man, you WILL be home by 5 PM since you can’t get home at 10. WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!!WHAP!!! He’s bawling now. I leave the room to let him cry it out and get his composure. He has school in a few hours, and I know that he won’t dare be late today...  

BROKEN CURFEW                 I thought I was being extra quiet.  It was a rainy Saturday morning and I  was supposed to have been home while it was still Friday night. It was only 15 minutes past my curfew.             I eased the key into the deadbolt and slowly let it slide so as not to make that deafening “click” when it released.  I stepped into the dark motionless living room and was instantly flooded in light. There stood a mountain of the man that was my father, Seth.  It was obvious from the bed head that he had been asleep. He stood only in his white briefs, hands on his hips and that “look.”     I could only stand stone still and sheepishly stare at that chiseled face, toned Pecs, those steel blue eyes cutting through me and those firmly planted legs that looked like timbers.   “I told you to be home at 11:30.”  “Sorry, Sir.”  Seth set those cold steel blue eyes on his teen and the silence was deafening… “Stay put!”  I knew it was all over now.  I watched the tensed shoulders of my father recede down the hall.  In those short few seconds, it took him to return, my stomach churned.   Seth returned prison strap in hand and pointed to the couch. That silent order had me baring my butt. I lurched when my exposed genitals made first contact with the cold leather of the couch. I knew that was the only leather that was going to be cold.   “Boy! I am tired of having to remind you of how to behave!” WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!  “Oww, oww!!! I’m sorry, Dad!!”  My ass was already burning, and I knew it was far from over.             “This attitude and disobeying me is going to STOP!” WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!  WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!   WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!   WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!   WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!    “Dad! PLEASE!!! I’m sorry!!!”  “You will be, I’ll make sure.” WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!  WHAP!!  WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!  WHAP!! WHAP!!  WHAP!! WHAP!!  WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!     I was reduced to a crying heap.  No pride, no attitude, just real tears and real sobs. “Since you can’t get home on time, you will be home every night for the next 6 weeks by 8!  And God help you if you are late.”  “Yes, Sir!  I swear I won’t be late!”   “Get to bed boy.  I don’t want to see till well after sunrise tomorrow.”      

BEACH PADDLE   Living on the Georgia coast offered Jimmy and his son the opportunity to get outside a great deal and enjoy the beauty around them.  They walked daily in the park or downtown on the riverfront.  Some evenings, they would venture out to the beach to watch the ships coming in to go up the river to the port.   These adventures were something that father and son loved to do together.  They did it as often as possible.  One gloomy afternoon, Kevin was in a foul mood and let his mood override his mouth.  He broke the cardinal rule of sassing his father.   Jimmy is a built, sturdy man.  He loves his son a great deal, but he will not tolerate disrespect.  The father was very good at containing his anger where his son was concerned.  He never yelled at him when they argued or had an issue.  He didn't have too.  He could get his point across without raising his voice and Kevin knew that very well.   At the time of the proverbial slip of the tongue, Jimmy seemed to ignore the comment and went on as nothing was amiss.  Kevin was stunned and silently thanked his lucky stars that he had evaded his father's considerable wrath.   Jimmy was a strict father who believed in stern corporal punishment for any and all infractions.  He has an array of implements that could and would get the job done.  Unbeknownst to his only child, Jimmy had already retrieved the clear Lexan paddle and put it under the seat of his car...   After dinner was done and the dishes were clean and put away, Jimmy non-nonchalantly suggested that they make a trip to the beach to watch the boats.  Kevin all but scampered to the car.   It was a warm, clear evening and the drive out was pleasant.  For the last two hours of daylight, father and son sat in the sand, water at their toes, watching ships come and go.  As dusk set in with just a little hint of light still in the sky, Jimmy told Kevin he had to go back to the car for a second but he would be right back.   On purpose, he had walked them to the far Northwest corner of the beach that they like to sit at.  Here the sand dunes were high, and nothing could be seen or heard over the crash of waves against the sand.  Kevin was still oblivious to anything being wrong when his father returned.  He had completely forgotten about the earlier spat.     Jimmy put his  arm around his son and led him up and over the first sand dune so that they were on the inside of the dune, surrounded by sand.  There happened to be a large boulder sticking out of the sand.  Perfect for what was needed.   At that moment, Jimmy handed the paddle to his son and reached down to untie and pull off his son's swim trunks.  He placed his hands on the boy's shoulders and told him that he had not forgotten the earlier incident and that since it had been a slip of the tongue, he was not going to deal with it as harshly as he would have if he had thought it intentional.   He turned his son around, made him place his hands on the rock with his legs spread.  He placed the paddle centered of Kevin's ass and told the boy that he was going to count out loud, 25 licks and apologize with each one.  If he were to lose count, they would start over till he got it right.   Being outdoors and plenty of room to swing, Jimmy brought the paddle down solidly across his son's ass cheeks. "One, Sir, I'm sorry, Sir!!"  Kevin's cheeks rippled from the force, but he stayed in place and took what he had coming.   Licks two through 12 fell hard and sure.  Kevin counted out as ordered, never losing his place. Jimmy switched sides and delivered another 8 resounding strokes.  By this time, Kevin was breathing hard, his voice cracked when he spoke.  Jimmy knew he had his undivided attention.   "You know how these last 5 are going to be, don't you?”   "Yes, Sir.  They are going to be harder, Sir."       "That's right.  You don't have to count these.  But I do want you to clench your cheeks tight and keep them that way.  You are going to get 15 more instead of just 5. 5 hard licks on each cheek and the last 5 dead center just as hard as I can swing."   "Ye--Yes, Sir, Daddy."   Kevin stood and clenched his cheeks as ordered and on the 4th lick of his right cheek, he broke and began to cry.  Not to be deterred, Jimmy delivered the other 6 licks before the final 5.  He placed his hand on his son's shoulder and told him it was for his own good.  He made him bend over and grab his ankles, sticking his butt out as far as possible.  With a heavy hand, he delivered the last 5 licks as hard as he could swing.  The sound was deafening it were not for the sound of the waves of the ocean.  The crack of the paddle, the sobs of the son.   When it was over, Jimmy gathered Kevin into his chest and held him and his boy whimpered and cried it out.  The slate was clean, all forgiven. Kevin redressed and the Strickland men walked the dark stretch of beach back the lighthouse and headed home.              

Baseball Window Dad has told me time and time again, not to be practicing my batting in the back yard.  He gets out there with me in the evenings after work and on the weekends that I don’t have a game and we work on catching and fielding.  But he says the yard is too small for batting practice, so we usually go to the park for that. It has been raining so much lately, that the practice field at the park close by our house is so muddy, you can’t get any effective practice in.  So yesterday, even though I was not supposed to; Danny Higgins and I were out in the backyard, batting. I told him that I could not hit them hard because they would go out of the fence and into Mrs. Gribble’s house.  That old bat lives behind us and had a second story with plenty of windows that she loves to snoop out of. Luckily this particular afternoon, she was not home.  We had been going at it for about half an hour and I was mainly working on pop flies and bunting.  But after a bit, I was getting bored with this, so when Danny pitched the perfect pitch right down the middle, I swung for glory. As it were, it turned out to be Hell.  My bat connected perfectly and caught that ball in its’ sweet spot and was gone.  It soared right over the fence and that earth shattering of glass when it struck the upstairs library of Mrs. Gribbles’, made me almost puke. Danny of course, vanished in a flash. I was left standing alone in the back yard, red handed with the bat in my hand.  And to make things worse, I did not know that Dad had just got home from work and stepped into the kitchen when my ball went flying. He’d heard the crash and saw the culprit.  When I turned around, he was standing on the deck with his cell phone in hand.  I heard him telling Danny’s dad what had happened and that he was just as guilty as I was. I overheard him tell Mr. Higgins, that I was already being dealt with and tomorrow at school, we could both compare notes. My knees about buckled under me. Dad simply pointed toward the house, and I scurried past him, head down and up to my room. I hastily put the bat away, undressed and was standing in the corner when dad walked in. He unceremoniously tossed me onto my bed, and I automatically assumed the spread-eagle position.  In a flash, his belt was off and landing furiously on my butt.  It was always worse when dad doesn’t speak during a whipping.  He did not utter a word.  He was laser focused on beating my ass and he did.  He covered from the top of my butt to the top of my thighs and gave it his full effort. I bucked and screamed into my pillow but lay there and took it.  I was guilty as sin, no use to try to fight it. When I was reduced to a heap of tears, Dad left the room but told me not to move.  I was scared. I lay there for what seemed an eternity before he returned with a piece of paper in his hand. Since he had left my room, he had gone over to Mrs. Gribbles and taken measurements to replace the broken glass.  He had told her that he had already dealt with me and that together, tomorrow afternoon; he and I would fix the window. He handed me the paper and told me to read it.  I did not understand the measurements, I suck at math, but my father explained in an eerily cold voice, that those measurements for that window would be coming out of my butt with his brush tomorrow night. I was mortified.  He had already punished me.  When I said as much, he just laughed and said, “That was for disobeying me. Tomorrow night will be for breaking the window.  And unless you want Mrs. Gribble to witness that brushing, I suggest you shut your mouth and hope that the supplies are cheap.” He went on to explain that for every $10 spent on repair equaled 1 minute with his brush OTK full force. I was terrified.  I hated those timed brushings.  They really are painful. I slept on my stomach all night and walked very gingerly into school this morning.  At PE while we were dressing out, I got a look at Danny’s butt, and he got a look at mine.  He was red and you could still see belt marks. I was crimson red and clear welts.  I told him what dad had said and he winced at just the thought of it.  He told me he would bring some aloe to school with him tomorrow just in case. I made the short walk from the bus to my front door with dread.  Dad got home a little after 5 and picked me up and we drove around the block to Mrs. Gribbles.  She didn’t make a snide remark or any unthwarted look in my direction and I was thankful when she announced to my father that tonight was her bridge game at the community center and to just lock the door as we left. It only took us about 20 minutes total to fix the window.  I still had no idea how much it was going to cost my butt.  We finished, Dad locked up and went home and put away the tools.  Dad told me to go wash up for supper, he had ordered in pizza.  I didn’t have much of an appetite, but at least I wouldn’t have dishes to wash tonight. He didn’t say anything else about the window or the brushing till we had finished the pizza.  He told me to go get ready for bed and when I was out of the bath, to bring the brush to him in the den. I showered and brushed my teeth and with high trepidation, retrieved the brush from dad’s nightstand and took it to him in the den.  I walked in, stood silently beside his recliner holding the brush behind my back until he was ready. Dad told me to hand him the brush and to go into the kitchen and bring back the timer.  I was so scared. My hand trembled as I sat it down on the coffee table.  Dad took out the receipt for the supplies…$27.99. I meekly asked if that meant 3 minutes or just the two.  He said he would compromise and make it two and a half minutes.  There were already tears in my eyes.  Tears of embarrassment and fear.  I knew this was gonna be bad. Dad looked at me in earnest and told me that he knew I was scared, and we both knew this was going to hurt but that I would survive.  He told me beforehand that I could make all the noise I wanted.  He would not be mad or disappointed in such outburst.  He moved over to the couch, sat and patted his leg.  I draped myself across his lap and waited. The searing heat that exploded across my butt was so much worse than I had imagined it.  It most likely would not have been so bad if I had not already been strapped the night before.  That tender flesh was again searing and sending shards of pain straight to my brain.  I was numb, couldn’t process thought.  I could only cry and wait for it to be over. Those 2 and half minutes seemed like an eternity, and I just knew my butt was going to be destroyed.  There could not possibly be any skin left. Dad let me up and had me crawl into his lap and cry it out.  I absolutely lay my head against his shoulder and bawled.  I was ashamed that I had hurt him by disobeying him.  That realization was more painful than both the whippings I had taken. After a bit, Dad carried me upstairs and put me on my bed. He got the aloe out of the cabinet and slathered it all over my aching backside.  He asked me if I wanted to see, and I nodded yes.  He had me stand up and turn towards my mirror.  I turned my head and saw that to my surprise; I did not have any broken skin.  No blood as I had envisioned, but I did have a couple of bruises and would for a day or too. I was thoroughly chastised and promised my dad I would never put him in that situation again.  I apologized profusely again and began to cry, again.  Dad brushed the fresh tears away from my face as he pulled me to him in a tight embrace.  “All is forgiven son.  Lessons learned.” He tucked me into bed, still on my stomach and asked if I wanted the sheet over me.  I did not.  I hoped that the air conditioning would somewhat soothe the heat on my butt throughout the night. Dad tussled my hair, kissed me on the back of head and turned out my light as he walked out and shut the door.

REPORT CARD     I know that I should have studied harder.  But I HATE Geometry and will never use it!  I almost hurled when I saw my report card.  I had told Dad that I was squeaking by.  He knew that I was not good at math, but he also knew how I am when I don't like something.  So I knew this evening was going to be a painful one.   I came straight home and made sure all my chores were done except for dishes, since we had not had supper yet.  I took a shower and dressed in boxers and a t-shirt and was sitting on the couch awaiting my fate.  I would have gotten out that mean Jokari paddle that Dad likes, but I did not want to be presumptuous.   My father must have ESP because when he came through the door, he sat his dusty work bag down and went straight for the report card.  He didn't speak, he didn't have too.  The closed eyes and the deep sigh said it all.  "Go to your room and let's get this done."  I knew that meant no paddle.  I went to my room, stripped and waited.   Those five minutes seemed to crawl.  But then like a tornado Dad was there.  I was on my stomach facing the headboard, but I could hear his buckle loosen and then a torrent of searing pain across my ass followed.   One cheek and then the other; culminating squarely across both cheeks in unison.  It hurt, God did it hurt!  Dad laid it on in silence.  All he said when he was done was, "This is Geometry at work."   As he was buckling his belt back, he announced that after dinner we would "talk" further to make sure the message was received loud and clear.  I almost hurled again.  I also knew better than to redress, so I just put on a jock and a t-shirt since Dad doesn't allow nudity at the table.   Thankfully, it was Dads night to cook and despite which I am sure he knew was going to be a bad report card, he made my favorite dinner of Chicken Parmesan with garlic bread.  We sat in our normal conversational tone and chatted about trivial things.  Anyone who would have seen us with have thought that all was right in the world.   Since dad cooked, I cleaned.  I was standing at the sink washing the cast iron frying pan when Dad walked by and rubbed his hand over my butt..."Those are some nice welts you have there young man."  I just gulped because I knew that those welts were going to have something added to them before the night was through.   When cleanup was complete, I went into the den where Dad sat in his recliner watching TV and I knelt at his feet with my head down, arms at my side and waited silently for his next order.  That order did not come for over 45 minutes, when at the conclusion of his show, he instructed me to go retrieve my white hairbrush from my nightstand drawer.   I made that long walk and back on shaky knees.  I hated that mean little brush and knew that it was going to get quite a workout.  I returned to the den and handed it to my father and stood where I was awaiting instruction.   Dad patted his lap and told me to sit down and look at him.  I was ashamed to have to stare into those blue eyes that were already showing displeasure.  Dad asked me a series of questions about what I had been doing in the past several weeks after realizing that I was not doing good in Geometry.  I had to ruefully admit that I had not been seeking out a tutor, asking my dad for help and had been carrying on in my normal routine instead of buckling down and studying harder.   Dad never raised his voice, but I heard every word he said and the inflection of the tone he used.  "That is why we are going to have this talk.  You and I both know that you were having issues.  But instead of coming to me, swallowing your pride and ASKING for help, you chose to ignore it and soldier on.  And you walked right off that cliff and failed the class.  So, this coming semester you are going to work twice as hard, cut out all extracurricular activities and bring that grade up. Because if you don't, the next conversation we have about this will involve the shed, ropes, and my strop."   With that, Dad placed his hand at the back of my neck and guided me over his knee to where my feet were off the floor, my hands were planted, my face was staring at the tile and my ass was angled up for full exposure and he started in with the white brush.  For 10 solid minutes, there was a non-stop fury of wood smacks across my already welted ass.   I cried freely and openly because I was broken and shamed.  The welts from before now had added bruises to them from the top of my cheeks to the top of my thighs.   When dad was through, he sent me and my brush back to my room and told me to get in bed and he would be in later to tuck me in.  I lay face down on my bed and cried into my pillow so as to not make noise.  I was already humiliated that I had cried so much and not taken my paddling like a man as I usually was able to do.  Tonight, I was just a loser of a little boy who got what he deserved.   When Dad came into my room, he sat on the side of my bed and stroked my hair.  He told me that he was not mad, that it was over, and things would be better.  He took some aloe from the bathroom and rubbed it all over my butt so that I would be able to sit at school tomorrow.  He then tucked me in, kissed me on the forehead, walked out the door and turned out the light.            

A Hike The boy should have known that he was in some serious trouble when I suggested a hike out in the woods.  He has had a smart ass attitude that last few days and I done warned him that he was asking for something he couldn’t afford. Boys will be boys I guess, and he kept right on running that mouth and rolling those eyes.  I was going to give him a damn good reason for those eyes to roll.  But this time they are gonna flow with tears… Saturday morning, we got up and stopped by Chik-Fil-A for a chicken biscuit and coffee before we take the drive down to the river.  Now this is not the regular hang out spot.  It is one of those spots that if you don’t know how to get there, you wouldn’t even attempt it. We were in my 4-wheel drive truck, and it was still a struggle to get there.  It is a beautiful sight and when we arrived, the entire area was deserted and peaceful. Just Mother Nature, my son and me. We walked to the area I was thinking about.  It was a warm, beautiful day.  Highs in the mid-80’s, blue sky, light breeze and the water on the river was calm.  At first, we just sat and chilled for a bit and had idle chit chat.  He had not idea his world was about to get dark. We took a short hike to the other section of the campground, but I still preferred the initial sight I had already scoped out, so we went back to that area and once we arrived, I stood directly in front of my son and locked eyes with him.  You could see the realization of the situation connect in his brain.  His pupils dilated and the color drained slightly out of his face. For the next few minutes, I took my time to explain in detail the reason that we are here and that the excuses are done, time is up and it’s time to pay the piper. I took him by the nape of his neck and took the few steps over to the tree I had spied when we first arrived and told him to strip buck ass naked.  I noticed the trembling in his legs and his knees wobbly as he stepped out of his jeans and his tightie-whities fell to the ground.  I went a step further and made him fold and neatly stack his clothes on a near by stump adding the chilling words, “you don’t need those for a while”. For a bit we both just stood there.  My son, naked and shuffling his feet as he stared a hole into the ground.  Me, arms crossed and foot patting against the leaves.  I put my hand behind his head and pulled him against my chest and held him there for a minute, explaining to him that I was not mad at him; but this had to be done and we both knew why.  He only seems to learn when his ass burns. I walked over to the knapsack I had brought and pulled out some small rope.  I instructed the boy to turn and face the tree, spread his legs, stick his ass out and wrap his arms around the tree and join his hands together.  I secured his hands with the small rope and made sure that it wasn’t too tight, but it was secure enough to hold him in place for what was coming. I let him stand there like that for a few as I walked in front of him and stared at the river before walking back and making a show of unbuckling my belt as I stepped closer to him.  Being the dramatic dad that I am, I made sure I snapped the belt with gusto for effect. I stepped behind my boy and muttered that it was such a shame that his lily-white ass was soon to be red, welted and striped.  I heard an audible cry of terror as he realized what striped meant. The first crack of the belt landed dead center of his tender little butt and he screamed out and it echoed across the water.  I was not to be deterred and the belt flew again and again landing all over the boy’s butt and top of his thighs.  I watched his little white flesh pink up and then turn to a nice shade of red and his cheeks jiggle with each blow.  I must give it to the boy; he kept his butt stuck out like he had been taught on the countless sessions before.  And I continued to lay it on. I was not as hard as I usually was when I put the belt to him because I fully intended for him to be well versed in the switch as well.  I hit him hard enough to make him holler and do the dance but that was nothing like the dance he would be doing in a few minutes. His breath was heavy and panting as I stopped the onslaught and put my belt back on.  That gave him a few minutes to reflect on why we were here and why this was happening. Once more I stepped in front of him as I walked over the river’s edge and took my pocketknife out and cut a fresh limb of a willow nearby.  I again made the dramatic motion of swishing the limb to make sure it was limber and sturdy for the task ahead. Tears were in his eyes as he watched this and he feebly begged me not to switch him, though he knew that it was pointless to try to get out of it now. He was visibly shaking as I stepped behind him once more and told him that he had earned this, and I was going to make sure that we did not have to make a trip out here again for a long time for this purpose. The swish was loud as I reared back and let loose; but my sons scream of agony was like thunder as I lit his ass up with the thin sliver of wood.  The boy danced and bucked and cried in earnest.  The stripes were clear and concise as they covered his ass and tops of his thighs.  I made sure he was going to feel every bump and rut we hit on the way home, and he would not sit comfortably for several days.  Hopefully this would cure him of his misconception that he called the shots at my house. When I was through, I stood aside and let him cry in earnest for a while.  He cried unabashedly and all his fight and spite were gone.  I walked up to him and cut him free of his binds.  He fell limp against me and cried like a little boy and swore that he was going to be a better son and not cause so many problems in the future. I held him tight and told him that I hoped that was the case or I would not hesitate to bring him back out here again and make it ten times worse than what he had today. Once he had regained his composure, I let him get redressed and we walked back to the truck.  I didn’t bring any aftercare stuff with me.  I figured that would wait till we got home and give him extra time to feel and reflect on the cost of his behavior. Once home, he went to his room and lay on his bed.  I ordered us a pizza for delivery and went into his room and applied the aloe to his well-marked, red striped butt and tussled his hair as I left him to recover and wait on our pizza to arrive.