Blogs

I'll turn 70 soon and feel like I should have long since graduated from spankee to spanker (if not graduated out of the scene altogether). When I've occasionally chatted with younger men on this site. there's an implicit assumption that I would be the disciplinarian. And while I can certainly enjoy giving a spanking, I still far prefer being the one pinned over the knee getting his bottom turned bright red. Today I got a pretty sound hairbrush spanking from someone I met on this site, and I'm still reveling in the afterglow. I look forward to a couple of days being reminded of the spanking every time I sit down and I'm grateful that there are some out there for whom age is not a total deal-breaker when it comes to giving a spanking. I have no idea how the time went by so quickly, and think back on a myriad of missed opportunities when I was young and at least somewhat attractive. I think my first spanking was when I was in my 30's and over the years I've had a variety of experiences from wonderful to not-so-good, from "one night stands" to multiple return visits, but never enough. I still wish I could have experienced a relationship that included domestic discipline--I think the threat of and occasional delivery of a spanking as a consequence for procrastination or being disorganized would have made me more productive. It's too late for that now and I'm happy for the all-too-rare moments where I find myself prone over a lap with briefs at my ankles, waiting for the first application of a hand or paddle. For some of us, once a spankee, always a spankee--the desire to be spanked doesn't seem to wane with age.

So guys, I have decided with my dad's permission to share some bits and pieces of email exchages we had, before we go together.  Now these are answers to questions that I had posed (the questions are not included), but I think he explains our dad/son relationship in a clearer way that I can and what is involved or how we put it together.  So you know I have never felt I have been 'beaten' or 'abused' and way at all. It is not for everyone, and I have always felt loved, even when I have been very well spanked or punished. Effective discipline does not have to be brutal, just effective and meaningful. There is a lot of good psychology based on not just what you say, but even more importantly based on what you imply.  I do understand.  The time and place when I take down your jeans and briefs is always only up to your Dad.  That's just how it always will be. Dad will have your briefs and your bottom bare at his discretion and you will come to appreciate the feel of Dad’s hand anytime be it for comfort or a nice sharp sting when you need it.  There will be times when you really don’t want it but a true son says, “Yes, Dad” every time regardless.  You’re not used to that! Yes, I think “we” is the issue.  You’re never going to be spanked without my full participation, including emotionally as it is my hand (most of the time) that is causing you to tear up. Yes, the mainstay of your will be frequent and/or sudden and/or scheduled for you to be hugged and talked with, probably with your sitting on my lap with or without your briefs, before you spent significant time over Dad’s knees Boundaries infractions are the most serious in our relationship, especially as you set the various categories up yourself for your own benefit and future.  As such, when you break one, you will have brought punishment upon yourself and it will be punishment as your Dad does not want you to fail any more than absolutely necessary. Dad, will never hesitate to punish you when you error!  After a few, you’ll become the best little James on earth! Exactly, all boys are different (as are all Dads), yet I suspect I know you well enough that a nice quick trip over Dad’s knees (always on your bare bottom) is what you need most and will respond to. A lot of things will be much clearer for a boy once he has found himself in the position of having stood there as Dad lowers his jeans and briefs and pulls him across his knees for his first real spanking on his bare bottom. Dad has promised to give him really good first one and he will keep that promise for two reasons.  First, boys need to understand what live in a relationship involving domestic discipline is really going to be like given my hand will be tending to his bare bottom regularly over the years.  Second, Dad needs to understand his boy’s reactions to his hand, and of course ultimately to his hairbrush.  It’s not a matter of just slapping a boy’s bare bottom.  Each young man is different.  I do think it is the physical experience of laying over my knees and my hand on your bare bottom . . . that experience will be the best and most emotionally meaningful time that you’ve been waiting for. “protests will go un-noticed” with the exception of that fact that a boy who protests too much always finds that the simple spanking of his bare bottom over Dad’s knees that was going to be just with Dad’s hand, often increases and he will then find himself spanked with Dad’s hand and his paddle or hairbrush depending on his reactions. Similarly, walking too slowly to me will also get you into big trouble, Attempting in any way whatsoever to cover your bare bottom to escape my hand or hinder it in any way will be something you will have to learn to avoid.  Sometimes it will happen without your thinking and be completely involuntary, but it makes no difference what causes you to try to hinder or protect your bare bottom when it’s being spanked.  Your hairbrush will always be within reach and I will pin your arm and use the brush to teach you that lesson.  Careful In every real relationship I’ve ever known of, the first time you do this and you will initially do this automatically without thinking, Dad will stop and hold your hand away from your bare bottom you are trying to protect.  You will be warned about trying to avoid your Dad’s spanking and told that the spanking you are then getting will be significantly worse if you keep it up.  Some Dads will immediately give your bare bottom several significantly slaps with the paddle to remind you that a boy’s bare bottom is for dad’s correction and “enjoyment,” never to be covered unless you are told to. Of course, the hairbrush needs to be where you can see it to remember things and for Dad to reach it when he needs to.  Such is the way it is for naughty boys. The hairbrush really hurts quickly.  When your over dad's knees and Dad wants you yelling and kicking right away, the hairbrush will accomplish that goal very quickly if Dad knows how to use it for that purpose rather than just for overall color.

So, having spent some time testing, evaluating and frustrating .. here is some good news.   With a fresh installation, no bells and whistles but with complete functionality, the site will work for mobile based devices, including phone and tablets from an app that can be downloaded via google and apple stores. (Please do NOT download and attempt to connect, just yet).   I want to emphsize that for desktop users everything will be as it is right now, no need for downloading apps ..   We do have a number of modules that will not work with the mobile side of things and would need to be removed, but everything such as videos, photos, posts etc will 100% work on both desktop and mobile devices.   The chat bar will not work on mobile and tablets, but there is a certified one from the script vendor that will work on both desktops and mobiles, it also allows video chat, conferences and more.  If you want to check it out here is the URL:   https://store.phpfox.com/apps/chatplus   It is pricey but with this installed and mobile working properly, it will greatly enhance the site and member experience.   If we strip out all the whistle and bells, simplify things, it will also speed up the site .. so I will do more testing and then update you what is our next move.  To be honest it is looking very positive right now.   Hugs   James    

Okay guys, I have completed the final phase of testing on our test site.   What I have done is essentially replicated the entire script, with the latest version and a fresh database.  At present the data is correct and it functions as expected.   Videos are uploading perfectly and groups are also working.  Also, the videos will now play in full mode as they should from both the feed and the actual menu option.   I am getting ready to do the final import, at sometime today or tomorrow.   We are stripping out a lot of blocks and modules that frankly we just do not need and this will help with overall performance.   I kicked up a fuss with the script author over several modules that we purchased and are no longer compatible, the resolution is that they have given us access to the mobile application that can be downloaded from both Google Play and the Apple Stores.  This will be configured once we export over and the site is up to speed with no problems.  I will post more about this, but essentially it will help a lot for those members that prefer using mobile devices.  Desktop users will not notice and difference.   I have also upgraded our license for our chat bar (not the one presently in use), this will give us full download access to the latest version and both audio and video chat capabilities.  In order to reduce overhead on the server we will be using their push notification service.  The installation will require the chat bar authors technical support and again on completion of the export, I will raise a ticket to get everything installed correctly.  This will be free of charge for us.   We will now be running with two servers and a VPS.  The main server, as well as a backup server which will have replication setup, the backup server will also act as content delivery network or CDN, which will be next on the list for configuration.  The VPS is going to be used for research and development and aid with out move eventually to social engine.   So, hope some of this makes sense, and now of course is the time to put it all together.  I will setup an announcement as soon as I have decided which day and what time.  While the refresh of the main server and data export is taking place, the site will be unavailable for several hours.   Thanking everyone for their continued support and patience.

Well, this is a difficult topic, and whatever I say I am going to displease some guys, and that is unavoidable.   If you have a problem with another member or individual, then deal with it.    I am not going to get involved period, unless it breaks this sites rules or is abusive behavior.    I don’t care what has been said on other sites, groups or social media, and I am most certainly not going to waste my time by joining other sites just to see your point of view.    It is a ridiculous expectation, and one I am not prepared to meet, and in any case its none of my business and I don’t want to get involved.   I am the site owner, and I spend a lot of time on its upkeep, I actually like to post and interact with others.   It really is disheartening when I login to these messages, so please do me a favor and let me enjoy the site I created, deal with your own disagreements and grievances as the adults you are supposed to be.     James

I got a very long, intense public spanking at the fair. My spanker used a wide variety of implements, each one chosen to more painful than the one before. He finished with a frat paddle and a metal paddles with holes that make me scream. By the time he was done, my butt was hot and sore. Then he made me walk around the fair with my bare ass showing so everyone could see that I had been spanked. It was quite embarrassing.

Some Spanking encounters end wrong, just wrong. The Spanking could even have been well administered, but there's just something missing. In our experience, it's the post-Spanking warning, lecturing, and talkin'-to that's so critical to sewing things up and puttin' a bow on it.       Often times Daddys (or even just Tops/Domes) don't really know how to get there. This is where the boy can help. Here's a few tips on how to get Daddy "there."    For boys, after you are paddled, don't just stand there. Provoke him to react to your feelings. You may be very sore. You may be very upset or shaken up if he paddled you hard. Say so, "You Spanked way too hard. I didn't do anything!" or "That hurt." or "You didn't need to use the Bathbrush. I was gonna do it anyway."   This ends up being less rhetorical and ends up making Daddy have to respond: "Well, I wouldn't have to Spank so hard if you listened. When I tell you to come here, you come here now." Or "It hurts because you upset Daddy. You basically made me Spank you like that. I think you owe me an apology." Or "You got the Bathbrush across your backside for mouthing off and defying my direct instructions. I don't ever want to hear you do that again. Do you understand me?" It's more a matter of making a bruised boy or a Daddy startled by what it takes out of himself to paddle your bottom feel heard and responded to.     In the .gif above (pronounced Jiff! May the founder of .gif rest in power!), I see myself, sans the flat abs. In the moment, that "Bathbrush Talk" is something you as the boy cannot take your eyes off of. That's the brush that just damaged your backside. That's the brush that got your attention. That's the brush just Spanked the bejesus right outta ya.   Thankfully, when the Daddy is able to put words to use after a Spanking, the moment sears more deeply into the boy's brain, not just his bottom. When the boy is pulling up his briefs--or when Daddy pulls them up (my Daddys often pull up my briefs because I get far too shaken up by a Hairbrush or Bathbrush paddling)--the lecture helps remind him as much as the painful legloops of his 'pants hugging his red, red fanny. Watching the .gif above, can't you just feel the 'pants coming up over your red, sore bottom? I shore can. The feeling is real bad, and it hurts, but remember the human mind has a built in "forgetting" mechanism when it comes to pain. So you'll forget your Spanking sometime soon. But you are much less likely to forget the post-Spanking talkin'-to if Daddy employs it.    And Daddy's "Paddle Talk" doesn't have to be complicated either. It can be as simple as, asking a series of questions. Try a call and response approach: "Am I ever gonna have to do this again to you?"  "Are you sorry for what you did? Are you?"  "Are we done with your mouthing off?"  "What do you have to say for yourself?" "Look at me when you answer me." "Look me straight in the eyes and say that again." Honestly, the variety will help make the moments after The Spanking more memorable, more special, more important.   A quick warning: not all boys are responsive to lecturing, so be sure to plan ahead by texting with your boy or emailing so you know fully that he is responsive. Otherwise, it can feel flat and inauthentic. With that said, give it a whirl! Learn by doing. Don't think about it. Try it out. See what works for you.    

What was your film and/or television series; and why? My favourite film has to be "If ..." for the whole film, but particularly the awesome caning scene in the gym. My favourite television series has to be the BBC TV series "To Serve Them All My Days" which was a wonderful dramatisation of R F Delderfield's book of the same title. There was no corporal punishment in the series; there didn't have to be for it to rekindle happy memories of my old schooldays and impress upon the viewer's mind the ethos and love which prevails in an all-boys' boarding school. One can view both "If ..." and "To Serve Them All My Days" on YouTube if one access them on DVD. Enjoy!

I just want to acknowledge my best friend on SouthSpanking and otherwise. Blackneo and I have been friends since we met here in April 2012. Over the years, we have become the best of friends, trading stories and information and helping each other through our difficult times. Although we have never met because he lives in England and I live in San Francisco, I want to meet him someday in person and just talk and hang out. Friends like Blackneo are hard to find, but we have been lucky enough to meet each other. All the best to you, Blackneo!

So I have not worked out all the details yet to make this real fun, but here are the basics:   You get a group of dads and a group of boys.   Each boy picks a color coded card, for example white, grey, red and blue.   The boys then change into briefs of the corosponding color they picked from the card, but out of sight of the dads.   The dads then choose a single card each with the same colors as the briefs the boys are now wearing.   So we could just have each boy gets spanked by the dad with the same color as the briefs they are wearing , but we want more fun than that, right?   Maybe a certain color is an ACE card, or trump card?   What else could we do to make it more interesting? come on thinking caps on!   Hmmm different color of cushions on the spanking chairs .... think think think!        

Okay, I just can’t help it, but sometimes—believe me, not when I’m spanking or getting spanked—I theorise about spanking. One question that fascinates me is why people have preferences for—and dislikes of—particular types of spanking implements. For me, a general answer like ‘There are as many tastes as there are people’ is not satisfying, because it just doesn’t make sense. I think it’s possible—and interesting—to try and develop, ponder and test some types of ‘light’ categorisation. Before I proceed, let me note that in these reflections I’m not interested in the type or intensity of pain different implements can cause, but in the symbolic meanings people attribute to them—consciously but more often subconsciously.The first type of categorisation I want to suggest relates to the nature-culture distinction—a distinction that should never be made in any strict sense. There are implements that can almost be found as such in nature, such as canes and switches. Then there are implements that can be made of natural materials, such as carpet beaters, birches, wooden paddles etc. The latter still have a feel of ‘naturalness’ to them. But I’m thinking about how to explain why some have a clear dislike of ‘leather stuff’. Is it because it is associated with the ‘leather scene’ (which only partly overlaps with the ‘spanking scene’)? If so, why does that matter? And is this only about black-coloured leather?The second type of categorisation I call teleological: on the one hand, there are implements that are manufactured for purposes other than spanking or punishment, but which can be used for that purpose as well (bath-brushes, wooden spoons, spatulas, carpet-beaters, razor straps etc.); on the other hand, there are implements that are manufactured for punishment purposes (whips, floggers, tawses, paddles). Here I’m thinking about how to explain why some have a preference for the first type of implements. Is it because having implements made for spanking or punishment increases the risk of family/friends finding out about your spanking practice? Is it because buying such implements confronts you with the reality of your spanking fantasies?I’m curious to hear what people think!

Hello,   I have been absent for a very long time and I apologize.   As some of you may know Denis visits the UK every summer, this particular time he contracted COVID and it was pretty bad.  It was so serious that I had to go over there, and spent several months while he thankfully recovered and was able to travel back to the US.   During my time there, I too got infected, but that’s okay, it was bad, but not too serious.   We are both having some side effects, Denis is having a harder time than I am recovering but we are both getting there.   I really had my hands full and other issues like my authenticator app failed for email access and phone access was restricted due to a change in carrier.   Right now, I have started a new job which I was offered before this all happened, thankfully the company I am now working for were very understanding and let me join the training group I am presently enrolled in.   I will be in contact with my dear friends by email and phone over this holiday weekend.   If you are in the US, please have a wonderful holiday and whatever you do, be safe.  If you have a wee drink or two or three, use Uber or any other transport but PLEASE do not drink and drive.   Everyone, else, please have a fantastic weekend, whether you are just chilling, being spanked, or giving a spanking and stay safe.  We have a fantastic community, and it means so much to me and is very dear to my heart.   Botoms upppppp and Hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss   James

I know there have been some issues with this, and I wanted to delve a little into the firepit that it truly is. There are things we can do in order to make it harder to download videos from this site, but unfortuanelty it is impossible to stop it. I can assure everyone that I have looked into this many times before, but once something is uploaded to the interent, it can then be copied.  Think of it this way, your browser is displaying the content, so its there, even if by using tokens and higher enryption, and even DRM, it can still be downloaded.  There are so many programs and in some cases hardware available, it makes it impossible to stop. What I can do is ask those responsbile not to do it, please.  A lot of the members here do NOT want their videos shared elsewhere and it is morally wrong for you to do so.  As you have been totally selfish, many members will make their videos friends only.  This means YOU cannot see it and neither can many other members, it also means YOU cannot download them.  No one wins from this .. so why bother? I do have a plan that I am working on, that will make it much more difficult, but guys as hard as I can work on it, and as many many hours I can put into it, I do not have a magic wand to stop it from happening.  And to clarifty guys, its the same with all sites, whether youtube or even facebook - you cannot prevent the videos from being downloaded, unless you restrict the privacy settings to friends only and hope that one of your friends is not the cuplprit. Plus I am grumpy today - as I am grounded .. long story! and .. I want to see some Dads and Tops spanked as well.    

Well 2017 was something else!  I think I want to start off by remembering those that we have lost in the last year.  It is never easy, whether it is family or close friends.  We can all remember them in our hearts and in our prayers. I want to thank everyone of you for your support and I appreciate all the words of encouragement, particulary over the site failure and its rebirth.  It is important to note that change is never easy and for some members it it will take time.  Even though they might sound negative that's good, all feedback is important as we move forward.  We are a very diversive community and sometimes it is easy to miss cultural differences, what one culture views as normal another may view as rude, when infact its simple furstration.  I ask everyone to please take that into consideration before hitting that send button on a comment. Our moderators do a fantatic job, and the member contributions are amazing.  This community is what keeps the site alive, thank you everyone. I do want to make a special thank you to Isma, who creates some of the most amazing art I have ever seen.  He is a true gentleman, hugs and thanks Isma! This year will bring some major changes, and we will work on them bit by bit until we get it right.  All I can ask is your patience.  I will make some mistakes as I go along, and thats normal but it will all pull together and the site will be better than ever before.  This blog is where I am going to post updates as we progress. I am looking forward to the year ahead, to making new friends, to working with you on the site and to having fun. hugs James

What a great time we had the night before. My best buddy, also a Spanking Dad, and I invited two of our favorite spankees over to my place for a evening of disciplinary fun. We started off with a two dad/two brat scenario. We spanked our brats together; we spanked each other's brat; and eventually made them spank each other.  We positioned them OTK, over the arm of the sofa and face down on the bed.  We used hand, hairbrush, belt and a spatula.  Between sessions we broke for pizza and beer.  It was a memorable night.  The brats left about 2 am and my buddy & I crashed naked, exhausted and happy into bed. The following morning I slipped on my robe and headed for the kitchen to make coffee followed by my buddy in his boxer shorts.  While searching for mugs, he came across my hidden stash of 7 unopened letters from the IRS, the last 3 of which were registered and had required my signature. "Why are you getting registered letters from the IRS?" "Don't worry about it.  It's nothing" "The IRS doesn't send registered letters for nothing.  What's going on? and Why are they unopened?" Embarrassingly, I explained that I hadn't filed my federal income tax for a while.  In answer to his next question, I sheepishly admitted "3 years". "Are you crazy?", he barked.  "They could garnish your wages which might cause you to lose your job.  And worst case scenario, you could be arrested." "I know all that. I've been meaning to get around to it." "For all you know, they might have already started proceedings which you won't be aware of unless you open those letters". "I've been a little afraid to open them."' "Are you hoping it will all just go away?" "Something like that, I guess" "Man, talk about someone who needs a damn good spanking!" My hands instinctively reached back to cover my ass.  "Now don't get any ideas". "It may be the best idea I've had in years". At this point in my life, I hadn't been spanked in 12 or 13 years and I had never ever been threatened with a real spanking for real reasons.  Admittedly, the present situation caused a blush in my face and a slight arousal under my robe. I stood there speechless not wanting it to happen and wanting it to happen at the same time. "Well?", he said. What do you want me to say?" "I want you open those letters immediately or so help me I'm going to spank you until you do". Believe it or not, guys, all those spanking clichés are not so cliché after all as I blurted out, "You're not serious?" To prove that he was serious, he walked over to my desk where I kept my instruments and retrieved my hairbrush.  He placed the tip of the brush on the letters.  "Are you going to open them or are you going across my knee?" It was decision time. Do I tell him to mind his own business or do I fulfill a life-long fantasy? I still wasn't sure he would actually go through with it but I had to know. Defiantly, I said "I'll do it when I feel like it". "Okay, you had your chance".  He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me over to a kitchen chair. He sat down and flung me across his lap.  I started to get up but he pushed me back down.  With one hand on the small of my back, he draped one leg across both of mine. Effectively, he locked me in place. "You can't do this, John.  I've been a Dad now for almost 15 years and Dads don't get spanked". "They do when they act as foolishly and as irresponsibly as you have. And I'd much rather see you spanked  than hauled off to jail." He lifted my robe and exposed my bare ass.  He landed about 25 smacks with the brush across my bottom until I was squirming and howling.  It hurt a lot more than I remembered.  Now I wasn't so sure that I wanted my fantasy fulfilled.  "Please. John, stop." "You have one way only of getting me to stop.  Are you going to open those letters?" My ass was burning and my eyes were wet from the sting. My body was ready to give in but my inner brat kept reminding me that the likelihood of a situation like this arising in my lifetime was next to nil.  I had to know how we would take this.Like the whining brat that I always knew I was, I said "You can't make me do what I don't want to". "We'll see about that". Both John and I knew that I could forcibly put a stop to this any time I chose to. But since I was responding as if I didn't have power to resist, he decided to continue. He dropped the hairbrush, lifted my robe over my head and off, unlocked my legs and dropped the letters on the floor directly in my line of sight. He began using his brawny hands on my rear. I began squirming and kicking my legs and whimpering.  Years before this I had learned a muscle relaxing technique that allowed whatever emotions a body was experiencing to bubble up to the surface and out.  I employed that technique at this point. After about 10 minutes or so of solid hand spanking and scolding, my whimpering got louder and soon began to turn into sobs.  The sobs turned into tears streaming down my cheeks.  That was enough for me.  I picked up the letters and began waving them about.  "Alright, alright.  I give up.  I'll open the letters". "When?" "Right now, I swear it." He kept me across his knee for a few more minutes while I caught my breath and my sobs subsided. The he gently helped me stand on my wobbly legs.  While I was rubbing my bare ass, he pulled out another kitchen chair and said "SIT!" "You know perfectly well I won't be able to sit until at least tomorrow." He moved to my desk and retrieved a pen and then to my sofa for a pillow.  He placed the pillow on the chair and again commanded that I sit. I gently eased my butt onto the pillow. The heat from my ass warmed it immediately.  He put the last received letter in my hand and told me to open it. He was right, of course.  The threats he mentioned were there but there was still time to avoid them. A form was enclosed which he ordered me to fill out requesting an appointment with an IRS agent.  after I signed it, he placed it into the enclosed envelope, sealed it and put it in his pocket. "I'm going to mail this myself to make sure you don't accidentally lose it.  Now, say 'thank you, John for being such a good friend and giving me the spanking I deserved'." "Oh, c'mon, John. I feel embarrassed enough." He didn't say a thing. He just folded his arms across his chest and stared me down. "Okay! Thank you, John, for being such a good friend and giving me the spanking I deserved." "That's better!".  Now, gather up all your tax records because I'm making an appointment with my accountant and we're going together there to get you up to speed and ready for your IRS session.  Now, what do you say?" "Thank you, John. I really do appreciate it". "Even the spanking?" "Yes, even the spanking." Neither of us ever admitted that we both got caught up in a real-life scenario that we just had to see through to the end. or that we both thoroughly enjoyed it. However, being my very best friend, he spent the next hour massaging my ass with Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion which we both could freely admit we enjoyed.rver unreachable

I am starting a new private blog.  https://spankingideasnew.blogspot.com/?m=1 There is a contact form on the home page of the blog to request membership

*Permission is granted to repost this on other sites.  If you do, please credit me as "Ageless Al"* When people think of ageplay, they’re more likely to think about the Littles – The adults who play as babies and toddlers.  But if you look, you can find plenty of Middles around, playing as boys above the age of toilet training.  This is true even on sites that focus on diapers.  There’s certainly plenty of us here in the spanking community! Being an older boy has its perks.  We can have a little more maturity than the babies.   We can talk with the grammar and vocabulary of an adult (though some words are still off limits).  Our toys and cartoons are designed for more developed minds.  But we’re still at an age where we crave affection and guidance from our Dads and Onkels. There’s greater freedom but we still have restrictions.  We may even have chores!  Some of us will try to push the boundaries, only to be met with strict punishments.  I summarise my personal approach to ageplay as “old enough that I should be able to use the toilet but certainly not too old for a smack bottom.” While avoiding more babyish outfits, clothing can still display childishness.  We can often dress ourselves.  We like t-shirts and briefs with bright colours and cartoon characters.  Some of us have to wear a school uniform with smart shorts.  And some of us do suffer the embarrassment of having our big boy undies taken away and being put back into diapers. Not all Middles wear diapers but they still have their place.  Maybe it’s “forced” on us as a punishment or by a mean big bro.  Maybe the man in charge wants to make sure his bedsheets are protected.  Some boys still struggle with the occasional daytime accident in their big boy pants.  Whatever the reason, we know in our hearts that wearing our diapers is juvenile, precisely because we identify in an older role!  

First off Guys, I really want to thank you for all your support, the response has been amazing and I am truly humbled. Also I must apologize for not being on the site lately, and if you have not had a personal email from me thanking you for your donation to the site, I will be doing so.  I have been up against the clock, but I can promise you I have been working very hard getting this site to where it needs to be. We had such an awsome fundraiser, that we have bought and paid for a server for a complete year, and we got a massive discount for doing so, again thank you.  It takes a lot of stress away from me.  At the moment I am looking at the plugins and software we need for the new script, but before I get into that ... As you will know the site went down for perhaps 1/2 hour yesterday and around the same today.  This was because the billing cycle for the old server hits tommorow.  So I really had to get it done quickly, and we did.  Usually when changing servers its not a big issue, but this time was a little different, because I took a plunge and changed a lot of things.  So for your techies out there, we are currently using Litespeed with PhP 7.3 and Redis as our cache.  I hit some problems I was not expecting such as permissions and ownership issues, but in the end we got it solved. So that was one project, but I have been working on getting us over to the new script as well and it is going very well .. ooopss before I go any further, my partner and Dad, Denis just got back from Europe, however he took a tumble at the airport and I ended up collecting him in a wheel chair.  He is okay, had him checked out at urgent care, but he is pretty bruised and sore.  You might think him not being able to put me accross his lap is a good thing right?  Yea, that baby got put to bed, he has me bending over the back of the spanking chair and can swing that danged paddle real hard! Anyway the script project, it is likely going to take several more weeks, but I havev solved most problems.  At the moment, I am having issues with video thumbnails and data from groups, but I am getting excellent support from the vendor, I will keep you all updated.  When we get this done, I promise, you will be super amazed :) Okay, so I got to fo make supper for a brusied and cranky Dad ...   hugggsss   James  

Guys, It has taken me a few days to make this post, mainly because I am still actually working on the site. What we have successfully completed is to fix our server faults and to upgrade to the latest version of our current script with a fresh database. We are not finished and we will be upgrading to social engine. I would like to explain a little about performance.  In the coming days / weeks, I will be focusing on it, so that we get to a point where speed and performance is acceptable, that is as far as it goes.  After that I will be working on the social engine migration. Site performance is determined by a number of factors, these include the hardware, operation system, web server, database driver, cache manager and of course at the application level.  In order to get these perfect, would require some intervention from a seasoned professional, as there are literally hundreds of variables involved.  In our case we have Centos 8 - LiteSpeed WebServer - MariaDB - PHP 7.4 -  Redis - Phpfox (as you can see a lot of possible variables) I can do a lot of it but by no means all of it.  One of the things that really helps with a sites speed and performance is a cache plugin and there are a number of these available for Social Engine and WordPress, however nothing for our script, PhpFox. The Social Engine migration will run along side our current script, and no down time will be required until we are fully tested and ready to move.  That is an important feat, and largely due to what we have achieved recently. When we get that move over to Social Engine, I promise you – performance issues will be a thing of the past and mobile and tablet versions of the site will run exceptionally well.  If we want to attract new members and especially younger ones, we need it all to work. I appreciate your patience, and I know I have not delved into a whole lot in this post, but I am hoping to give you some insight on the direction I am moving.  All I can do is ask for your continued support, understanding and patience.    James

Hello everyone,   I have been wading through our logs, figuring out the recent crash and I have other inportant information to update you with.  Firstly there was no security breech, it was a database crash.   Secondly our backup routine had failed, resulting in the loss of a few months of videos.   Also very importantly, our two year commitment contract with our hosting provider will expire on 28th October.Normally about this time, I look at finding a better spec server for a similar or lower price, however its not going to happen this time around.  Our prices will increase, but if I do another two year commitment before our contract expires, its only going up  by $20 a month, but that is still $240 per year.   I analyzed our traffic logs, we actually do not have to upgrade the server at all, we are consistantly below 350 Mpbs, actually usually way below that, given that our port speed can handle 500 Mpbs (incoming and out going), I see no need to upgrade  To put that into perspective the server can process 62.5 Megabytes of data every second.  That is more than enough for our site, and very likely will last us at least the next two years and probably longer.    Instead of looking at server upgrades, I am looking into upgrading our caching service, at the moment we use an open and free version of the software which has some restrictions and does impede performance.  I am looking at a license that will eliminate those restrictions, but as always there is a cost, which is currently $17 per month or $204 annually.  If we do that, our annual costs (including the server price increase) will increase by a total of $444 (an unusual number for sure).   It is substantial.   I do need to take this all into consideration when making my final decision on the best way forward.  The initial server work I am planning will involve the following:   Refresh the server. Refresh the database. Install the most recent version of the software script. Install a reliable opensource backup software with a GUI. Complete a security audit. Configure email server and reverse dns. Setup email registration. Allow password resets by email.   I will provide updates as I go along, and let you know my decisons.   James                

It is an interesting question and one that does happen from time to time in my life.   I suppose really it does depend on the relationship, in my case it is 24/7 with domestic discipline.  We have rules and if I break them then I am subject to being disciplined, but I agreed to these rules.   We do have a fail safe of course, and that is that the rules and associated punishments can be discussed, altered and even removed, however only on a Sunday during my weekly behaviour review.  This was to ensure I did not use a kind of veto to avoid punishment, and again it is by mutual agreement.   I think one of the wisest statements my partner and dad ever said to me was 'You do NOT live to be spanked, and you are not supposed to either".  That actually makes a lot of sense.   Still there are times when I know I have been a naughty boy, but I just really do not want to be spanked, and I mean that.   The last time, this happened and dad told me 'Get the spanking chair our and put your nose in the corner', well I refused!!   I stomped my foot in frustration and Yelled "No, you are not spanking me and that is final."   Okay, I know what some of you are thinking, yes I was taking a bit of a tantrum, yes I was being disrespectful and yes I was being disobedient - no question about any of that.  I will tell you what happened, but please do feel free to share if you think it was fair (or not) and if you are a dad / top how you would have handled the situation.   I got pulled into a tight hug, and we just stood there together, occasionally dad would pat the seat of my shorts, we huged for quite a few minutes before he led me to the kitchen table and sat me down.   We talked a lot, especially about why I didn't think I deserved to be spanked, I guess at times I even whined but dad said to me (another wisdom statement) "As your dad and partner, it is my role to administer the discipline, you need, not what you WANT and you need to be spanked.  Would you really respect me if I just let you off every time you didn't want to be punished?"   Of course we all know that answer to that.   I was spanked shortly afterwards and had a decent sob over his knees and got it again at bedtime for taking a 'tantrum.'   YET the weird thing is I felt so damned good the next morning, I mean I felt on top of the world, sure my bottom was still a bit red and I was kept bare bottomed until the afternoon, but I didn't even sulk or complain ... its strange what a good spanking can acheive ... makes me wonder if sub-consciously I just needed to be taken in hand that day! :)    

Dear naughty boys and even naughtier dads and tops,   I think we should have a discussion about chairs and there role in spankings and other discipline.   I will repost a picture of the chairs most commonly used as a platform when my dad turns me over his knees to start us off.  So share yourideas and experiences.  I think for me, a chair that leaves my bottom well centered, head and legs not touching the floor are the most effectiveones.   Some Dads and Tops have custom chairs, even made by themselves such as Nor Cal, (don't tell him but I would quite like a tour of his chair while over his knees but shhhhhhh).   They are also used by some really bad and naughty dads to put poor boys in the corner .. and that sucks!   But come on share your chair ideas, what makes your chair so special huh?  

I hope everyone had a nice Xmas and that the new year finds you all in good health.   I will be in Europe in 2024, visiting and sampling the spanking chairs of some wonderful members of this site.  I guess if I behave, I might not get too much spanking, but where is the fun in that?  A boy has to be naughty sometimes, right?   I am also hoping to meet some of our American members either by visiting them or inviting them here to our home in Arizona.   We have a vibrant and wonderful community, with men from all ages and walks of lives.  I never judge anyone by their looks or their age, for me its all about personality and friendship.  I have been over the knees of guys more than twice my age, some that are younger than me, some that are thin and some that are large.   Before anyone shoots me down, there's large, there's thin, there's medium, there's stocky, there's lanky, there’s a million possible things that make up a man’s body type. I have learned over the years that there is no telling who you are going to be attracted to for spanking until you learn that for yourself.  It should be immensely satisfying being spanked by another person, just be happy and stop trying to rationalize every feeling you have. All humans have the innate right to feel attracted to whomsoever and whatsoever they wish, none of it needs any excuses or any justification - we want what we want.   There is always going to be the judgmental crowd and to them I say – take your superiority complex and your omniscience knowledge of other human being’s hearts, souls and sexuality, pick a corner and stand in it, stay there and do all a favor.  We don’t need you telling us about God, science or the genome pool, or how our DNA is corrupt, just chill!    Hugs   James

Happy New Year Everybody! I have not been on the site much over the holidays, because I have been working.  I did not get home until after midnight new years eve.  So if you have sent me messages, please be patient, I will get to them, but it is likley to be tommorow - I am darned tired! Anyway, here is a work around for viewing the entire contents of photo albums.  I will be working on a pernament fix over the next few weeks. Click on the name of the album you want to view the contents of Next click on any photo in that album Click the next icon (you must click this to get it to work) When that image loads you will see on the bottom of the picture (right) a circile with 3 dots in it.  If you hover over it, it says 'more actions' Click on it and then select 'view detail page' Once you do this, the album will now load and you can navigate using left and right icons You will also see a strip on the bottom of the screen that loads all the albums photos in a mini format You can use this strip as a preview and also select a photo to view and also navigate the entire album James,