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In this guide, I compile some of my personnel ideas (meaning not everyone may agree) on how to be a good spanker that efficiently meets nice spankee and slowly but surely build a network of spanking friends. I am quite sure this is not perfect because it is the first shot, but here we go ! I The starter kit: The very basic things that you need to know and have I.1 Know what you like and what you want The first things that any spanker should know or ask himself is : "What do I like about spanking ?". This is an important question because you will need to know that in order to set up your profile, and it will determine whether or not it might be a match with people that you could meet. There are many reasons why you may want to be a spanker. This includes: It is a deep rooted kink and you see yourself on the giving end. You have been on the receiving end and want to switch sides. You have a thing for the ritualistic aspect of spanking and punishment. You replay somekind of scene from your past that includes spanking. You have a spanking kink and enjoy being the one that turns other guys spanking fantasies into reality. You genuinly see yourself as a coach or mentor that can apply some strict discipline to errand lads in need of your assistance. You enjoy spanking as a sex foreplay, or as part of a broader BDSM scene, etc. There are many more, all valid reasons, which you can even combine. Having a good knowledge of which types of spanking scenes you like, and also don't like, will be useful to set up your profile and describe what kind of spanking sessions you can propose. I.2 Time and location are of the essence Let's start with location as this is perhaps the most basic requirement for a spanking meeting : it needs to happen somewhere. As such, living in a big cities and close to public transportations will be a great advantage compared to living in more remote areas. If you are in the latter case, you will need to be ready to move around a bit, or accept to welcome people into your home for longer periods of time (more about this later). Regarding the accomodation itself, while this is not mandatory, it is usually the spanker that should host any spanking meeting. Hosting a spanking at your place will always be more comfortable and will give you a psychological ascendant that is always a bonus in a spanker-spankee relationship. Your house should be clean and welcoming. An exception to this, is when you are travelling to another city far from your home. Then, using your hotel room, a B&B, or visiting your spankee at his place is perfectly acceptable. Does that mean that you can't be a good spanker if you can't host spanking at your place ? Not quite, but it is a problem if you can never host. The alternatives have been discussed already: Taking a hotel room. If you do so, avoid the cheapest ones that can really set up a creepy atmosphere. And you should also know, that to some spankees, hotel rooms and love hotels will be a turn off, and a deal breaker. Go spank your spankee at their place if they can host (which is not always the case). Besides from the loose of psychological power and the fact that you may quickly get bored when you put them in the corner, there is no real downside to it. Let's talk time now. Obviously you will need to find the time to meet people, whether it is to invite them at your place, or to travel to them. If you are only available on the 6th of each month between 1pm and 2pm, then between 5:30pm and 6pm, and only on full moon days, you will never meet anyone. You don't need to be available all the time, but you need to have a somewhat stable schedule and to know about it at least a few days in advance. Another thing that you need to know about time and availability is that not all spankings can be scheduled X weeks/monts in advance. For some spankees, the spanking need is a pulsion that comes and go. And when it comes, it needs to be dealt with quickly (as in within the next 2-3 days maximum). So don't plan on scheduling too long in advance with these guys. For others that are always in need of a good spanking, or like to build anticipation, as well as for coaching relationships, scheduling a long time in advance is easier. A last comment about time and location. As a rule of thumb, neither you nor your spankee should spend more time traveling to a session than the lenght of the session itself: You can be a great spanker, if your spankee needs to spend 3h in a train for a 30min session, he will stop coming at some point. Do not spend 4h and a ton of money in a plane/train travel in the hope of meeting a single spankee in a far away city. If you travel specifically for spanking purposes, you should book as many guys as you can because most of them will flake. Even better, if you can, do not travel just for spanking activities: it is better to travel for work, or to meet family and friend, and if some spanking meetings can happen, well it is a bonus ! I.3 Basics of spanking The last thing you need in your starter kit is to know how to spank in a safe and sane setting. This includes: Some basic butt anatomic knowledge to know where to spank and where not to spank. But also some basic sense of body language reading to know where your spankee is in term of mindspace and pain scale. Having a knowledge of BDSM elements such as SSC (safe sane and consensual) and RACK (risk aware consensual kink) is -in my opinion- mandatory. You should also know what "aftercare" is, and learn how to do it properly. This can make the difference between you being a spanker/dad/dom versus being a violent assh0le. Know how to use your hand, and have some of the basic implements that can be found at very low price and present little risks for beginners. The first part about where to spank should be relatively easy. Watch videos, see what other spanker do, and follow this schematic if you are still lost: The second part about reading body langage and knowing where your spankee is in his mindset requires more experience. And I am not going to lie : guys that have been spanked are going to be a lot better at it than any beginner spanker that has never been spanked before. Indeed, beyond the pain that might be inflicted by hand or using implements, spanking is a lot in the head and includes many elements such as humiliation, frustration, regression and abandonment that are quite difficult to understand and to read when one has never experienced them. Regarding the implements. I know for a fact that many beginner doms are overwhelmed and impressed when they see other spankers having tables fully covered with various implements that all look stingy and expensive when you look them up in the internet. I have two things to say about this One, in most cases at least 80% of these implements are crap that is rarely or never used. And two, if you want to be any good at spanking, your hand is your best weapon of choice ! The first spankings you give as a spanker should be mostly hand spankings: your spankee's butt should hurt more than your hand, and this requires training ! At first you might get some blisters and even bleedings. Slow down, keep training and it will improve with time. But you should know that your hand's skin will become less soft ! If you must invest in implements, aim for cheap but safe ones first: Brushes are inexpensive and can be found in any store. Don't buy online, go to the store and feel the wood ! Ping-pong paddles, flip-flops, wood rulers, slippers. If your country has a "national spanking implement", you may want to consider buying one : canes in the UK as well as in many commonwealth countries, a tawse in Scotland, a paddle in the USA and Canada, or a martinet in France. A word of caution on belts: While they are a common implement that is easy to find and can be found in a wide range of prices, it is not a beginner friendly implement ! If you want to use one, the buckle should ALWAYS be in your hand and never used to whip, start with very slow blows and a belt folded one or two times. Lashes shouldn't land anywhere else than the meaty part of the butt. And never apply a hard belting -especially if you don't know what you are doing- on a spankee that moves a lot ! II Setting up a profile that attracts people I am aware that there are many websites and apps to meet potential spankee and where you can set up a profile. This section aims at being generic, but you may need to adapt depending on the website you use most to meet people. II.1 Introducing yourself Your profile is often going to be the first contact that a potential spankee will have with you (and maybe the only one). Therefore, it needs to be as complete and attractive as possible. Furthermore, keep in mind that there are usually more spankers than spankees in a given place, so you will need to have a profile as good if not better than the other guys profiles. The key element of any profile that we will discuss in this section is your profile description, which is usually a few lines long (depending on the website), and is the best place to introduce yourself. If it is empty (or mostly empty), or if it isn't attractive, chances are you will struggle to meet anyone. The basic information that any profile description should contain (if they are not already displayed in other fields): Your location Who you are : your age, a basic physical description (height, weight, body type), and your experience if possible A description of what you like and what you are looking for (see I.1) Who you are looking for : age range, body type, are you straight friendly or not, etc. Any hard limits that you have (if there is space left): e.g. not into scenarios, no blood, no sex, etc. A few pitfalls to avoid in your profile description: Having a description that is very specific about what you want to do to your potential spankees, but says nothing about you or who you want to meet. It will mostly attract wankers, but you will never meet them. Example: "I will pull your pants down and spank you very hard on your bare bottom like a little boy. Then, you will go to the corner with your red butt for everyone to see, and you will wait for me to come trash your ass with my very large leather belt !" Having a description that makes you sound like a dead German philosopher. This is cool if you want to meet only people with at least 5 years of higher education, but everyone else will flee in terror. Example: "Spanking is a wonderful voyage where physical pain meets the spiritual extasy of endorphins and shame, all colliding together until your body and mind submit to the punishment, and at last you will know peace." Having a description that says nothing. Example: "Hello, I am Patrick, I am a 38yo writter. I like all sorts of boys. So, I want to meet like-minded guys that share my spanking interest and are staying nearby." Copy-pasting the description of another spanker of switch (partly or everything). You don't want people to believe that you have no personnality, or worst that you are a catfish. Eventually, depending on who contacts you and your success rate, you will figure out what is wrong with your description. Does it give too many details ? Not enough ? Is it missing something ? It will all come together. II.2 Posting pictures on your profile Whenever it is possible, it is usually a good thing to have pictures on your profile as it is a good way to show others what you like, and what you do. Your profile picture is perhaps the only picture that you will have to decide on nearly all applications and meeting websites. So pick wisely. It can be a face picture, a picture of your hand, a picture of an implement, one of your spanking picture, a drawing, or a spanking picture you like. My advice on profile picture would be that it is important to have one. Anything with even a few information about you is better than nothing. Then, you have the other pictures (think pictures albums in spankthishookups, or the pictures you share here on southspanking). These pictures are very important because they will tell A LOT about what you like, sometimes even more than your description ! If you post a lot of corner time pictures, it will emplies that you enjoy doing it. Lots of pictures with canes, you are a cane user ! Mostly badly bruised asses, then you like to give it hard ! Spanked asses with a zoom on butt holes, you might not be "straight guy friendly" ! You get the idea. And this is true even if the pictures you use are not your own. This leads us to two other points : What to do if you have very few or no pictures of your own ? And how to carefully choosing the captions with your pictures. If you don't have your own spanking pictures (or if they are not great), there is always the possibility of having pictures of implements that you like. A picture of your hand, or your knees. A shot of your chair with a belt carefully placed on the side. Use your imagination, and with the right captions, you can probably make pictures that will reflect on what you like. Alternatively, you can also use pictures from studios or from other spankos, but don't forget to credit them ! You may also put them in an album called "My method from web pictures", or "things I like". The worst thing that you can do when using others pictures, is not crediting and claiming them as your own, and their is a bonus if you add a dumb caption below explaining how YOU spanked this guy so hard. Since we are on the topic of captions, it is one of these rare case where no caption is better than a bad caption. A picture alone is relatively open to interpretation depending on whom sees it. On the other hand, if you add a caption, then the picture becomes what you say it is. "I spanked this little slut until he begged, and only then i let him suck my dick" is a good example of a bad caption that ruins the mood with this picture. Remember that you will attract people that can identify with what you post. And alternatively, you will repell people for which what you post is beyond their limits or not to their taste. And it will happen even before you can exchange a single message ! My advice is: unless you are almost exclusively into practices that you know are non-consensual or divisive : try to stay neutral and consensual with the pictures you post and their captions. III Getting in touch with spankees III.1 Contacting first or letting them contact you ? This is a difficult question and it will depend on how well you are established, and the number of potential spankees around you. That being said, no matter your experience, it costs you nothing to send a message to a new comer or a spankee you are interested in. The rules to do so are simple: read his profile, and if you don't see anything obvious that suggests that you may not be a match, send a message. The message should be polite, and if you are not inspired, it can be an extended version of your profile description with the needed adaptations to what the lad you are interested in seems to be into. You may also add to your message some potential availability and a more specific location than in your profile. As you may not get a second chance, take your time to write it and proof-read it. If you are established enough (you already have a good reputation -even as a spankee-, a pool of spankees, and a profile that works), you can wait for people to message you. But you should know that you will get less hits and not necessarily the ones you are the most interested in. Waiting is also a good option if you have only little availability. III.2 Know when to stop messaging It can be frustrating to send messages and get no answer at all. And even more to exchange a few messages and then no more answers without any warning, or even : the guy blocks you for no obvious reason. Even if it can seem quite rude to you, there are probably reasons behind it: With a new comer that is in his 20s: it is likely that every single spanker in the area sent him a message at the same time as you did. That's a lot of messages. Yours didn't make it. Try again in a week or two if you sees that his profile is still active. He is part of these guys with a beginner profile since 5 years: It's not you, they never answer any messages. There is no profile picture, the age in the description is 2 years behind the profile age. No need to try to reach them again, it is a waste of time. You exchanged a few messages. He asked you how you wanted to spank him. You explained with many details. And then he stops answering. Most likely he had a great time in front of his screen reading about your spanking scenario, he jerked off and doesn't need you anymore. It is nothing personnal, he wasn't ready. Try again in a few months. In any case, unless it is with a regular, if a guy doesn't answer you after 2-3 messages while his account seems to be active or if you know that he did receive your messages; it means that he is not interested. So, stop messaging. You don't want to be that sticky guy that sends messages every days. IV Improve your skills and grow your network IV.1 Invest and improve your skills With time and if all goes well, you should get at least one, or a few regular spankees. Having regular is a good opportunity to improve your skills both with implements, but also on the psychological side of spanking. As they learn to trust you, your regulars will be more open about what they like or not during their sessions with you. Take the time to listen and learn ! Remember that -unlike what some morons think- spanking as any BDSM activities is mostly about what the sub/spankee needs and enjoy. Your spankees will also open up more about their deeper spanking desires, and most likely will be willing or even asking for harder sessions. Use this to progress with your skills and explore new things with them. Speaking of harder sessions, if you did not already, you should learn how to do a proper aftercare. Basically, you don't make a guy cry or push him beyond his limits and push him out of your flat in 5min right after the spanking is over. The more you push, the more you should spend time soothing them and taking care of them after the spanking is over. Soothing cream, warm blankets, hugs, massages, hot cocoa and cookies might prove useful. It is also curtuous to ask if everything is well 24 to 48h after the session: mental breakdowns can happen even after they have left your place. And knowing if the eventual bruises are healing well is an important information. Keep in mind that in your learning process you will make mistakes, and not everything will work for both parties. But this is a good thing, because you will know what not to do next time to make your sessions better. As time passes and you meet more people, you can also surely but surely invest into new spanking implements. I usually suggest not to invest into anything expensive unless you have lots of requests for it from locals spankees, or if the request comes from a regular. I also suggest to put the price rather than buying a crappy toy that makes a lot of noise, doesn't hurt much, and will be destroyed after only a few slaps. For my good toys, I personally like https://www.cane-iac.com/ , but I know they can be expensive! IV.2 Respect the limits: your spankees' limits, but also yours I mentionned a few times the importance of safe, sane and consensual meetings when it comes to spanking, as well as the need to be careful when searching for profiles that match your needs. Nevertheless I will insist that one of the key to becoming a successful spanker is to respect the limits of the people you will meet ! A spanker or dom that consider that he does what he wants to a sub/spankee is a bad dom/spanker, this is wrong, can lead to pursuit, and at least will give you a very bad reputation. I will push things further by saying that a good spanker/dom should insist that his potential spankee/sub gives him some hard limits. A spankee/sub that doesn't know or doesn't have any limits is a disaster waiting to happen and you should avoid meeting him. Limits to ask for include: Sex or no sex. This one should always be discussed before any meeting. And yes, a surprise finger in the butt counts as sex, and can be very much unwanted even if your spankee is gay ! Severity of the bruises, especially if the guy tells you he is partnered. And it is your role to know how to handle your implements, and to stop (or abort the session early) before crossing any fixed limit Pain : do we remain soft, do we push you to your pain limit ? a bit beyond your limit ? do we turn you into a crying mess ? A word of advice : don't cross their pain limit if you are not great with aftercare. Nudity and physical contact: some straight lads are very strict about this. Drawing blood: Sanitize your implements well if you do it. (you should sanitize them anyway, but even more carefully if you draw blood). There is no such thing as a spankee with too many limits. If he has too many limits to your taste, then don't meet him. And finally, you may ask for some limits to be pushed -slowly-, but it is best to do it only with spankees you already know, and if they say no, then you should respect their refusal. We have discuss a lot the limits of potential people you will meet, but you should also consider yours. A common issue of beginner to mid-experienced spanker is that they tend to accept any spankee so long as he is young and has a very cute butt, even though said good-looking spankees are asking for something very far from the spanker interests. It is sometimes difficult, but you should no to refuse a cute spankee if what he asks doesn't match with what you are looking for. If you still meet regardless of the poorly matching profile, either or both of you may end up being dissapointed with the session. Please note that the same can happen when you get lots of demands: follow your guts and refuse meeting that yhou know deep down will not work. Less meetings is better than lots of bad ones. IV.3 Networking and reputation As they will gain momentum, your network and your reputation will be your main tools to meet new lads, some of which might not have accepted to meet you before. A spankeed satisfied with your session is your best ambassador ! Do not hesitate to ask your regulars if it is okay to use them as references for guys that are hesitant to meet you. Treat them with respect, and always ask their permission to post their pictures or videos on your profile : it is their butt that is going to be on the internet for tghe world to see, not yours ! Their spanked ass will be your visit card, so you must be grateful to them, and respect their wishes if they want some picture or caption to be changed or removed at any point. Treating your network well is part of growing your reputation, and it takes only a few disgrunted spankees to ruin years of hard work building your reputation. So be extra cautious and on your toes about this. What about other spankers in your areas ? Well, you should also try your best to maintain neutral to good relation with them ! First, it takes several spankees and spankers to organize spanking parties.  Other spankers are also a good source of information to know which lads are flakes, who is a wanker, and even to share information about what works or not about spankees you have in common (with their consent, always). Furthermore, as we mentionned in section I, everyone has different tastes and availability. In other words, you can send them spankees that are not a match for you, and you may expect them to do the same. Petty jealousy with another spanker "because he gets all the spankees", or "because he spanked X last week so now he can't meet with me", or "because he has a more intimate/different relationship with Y" is generally a bad idea. Very few spankees are exclusive, so their is a good chance that you will have your turn if you are a good match too. Asking a spankee to choose between 2 spankers he likes is also a bad idea because even if he chooses you, your relationship will be damaged. In the same vein, a bit of teasing between spankers is okay, but blattant and free provocation between spankers should be avoided: any spankees involved will notice and it won't look good. It is even worst if other members of the community notice, and too much teasing will make you the bad guy, which can also damage your reputation. Lastly, slandering or speaking ill of another spanker should be avoided: at some point someone will notice that it was a lie, most likely his network of spankos will speak out, and it won't do you any good. The only situations where it is acceptable to warn other members of the community about a spanker and to give him a bad reputation include: You know for a fact that he doesn't respect consent and has broken hard limits about sex, bruises or drawing blood. in other words, he is violent and or dangerous. Even in this case, you should rather push spankees that were the victims to speak out first. Minors are involved.

In this guide, I compile some of my personnel ideas (meaning not everyone may agree) on how to be a good spanker that efficiently meets nice spankee and slowly but surely build a network of spanking friends. I am quite sure this is not perfect because it is the first shot, but here we go ! I The starter kit: The very basic things that you need to know and have I.1 Know what you like and what you want The first things that any spanker should know or ask himself is : "What do I like about spanking ?". This is an important question because you will need to know that in order to set up your profile, and it will determine whether or not it might be a match with people that you could meet. There are many reasons why you may want to be a spanker. This includes: It is a deep rooted kink and you see yourself on the giving end. You have been on the receiving end and want to switch sides. You have a thing for the ritualistic aspect of spanking and punishment. You replay somekind of scene from your past that includes spanking. You have a spanking kink and enjoy being the one that turns other guys spanking fantasies into reality. You genuinly see yourself as a coach or mentor that can apply some strict discipline to errand lads in need of your assistance. You enjoy spanking as a sex foreplay, or as part of a broader BDSM scene, etc. There are many more, all valid reasons, which you can even combine. Having a good knowledge of which types of spanking scenes you like, and also don't like, will be useful to set up your profile and describe what kind of spanking sessions you can propose. I.2 Time and location are of the essence Let's start with location as this is perhaps the most basic requirement for a spanking meeting : it needs to happen somewhere. As such, living in a big cities and close to public transportations will be a great advantage compared to living in more remote areas. If you are in the latter case, you will need to be ready to move around a bit, or accept to welcome people into your home for longer periods of time (more about this later). Regarding the accomodation itself, while this is not mandatory, it is usually the spanker that should host any spanking meeting. Hosting a spanking at your place will always be more comfortable and will give you a psychological ascendant that is always a bonus in a spanker-spankee relationship. Your house should be clean and welcoming. An exception to this, is when you are travelling to another city far from your home. Then, using your hotel room, a B&B, or visiting your spankee at his place is perfectly acceptable. Does that mean that you can't be a good spanker if you can't host spanking at your place ? Not quite, but it is a problem if you can never host. The alternatives have been discussed already: Taking a hotel room. If you do so, avoid the cheapest ones that can really set up a creepy atmosphere. And you should also know, that to some spankees, hotel rooms and love hotels will be a turn off, and a deal breaker. Go spank your spankee at their place if they can host (which is not always the case). Besides from the loose of psychological power and the fact that you may quickly get bored when you put them in the corner, there is no real downside to it. Let's talk time now. Obviously you will need to find the time to meet people, whether it is to invite them at your place, or to travel to them. If you are only available on the 6th of each month between 1pm and 2pm, then between 5:30pm and 6pm, and only on full moon days, you will never meet anyone. You don't need to be available all the time, but you need to have a somewhat stable schedule and to know about it at least a few days in advance. Another thing that you need to know about time and availability is that not all spankings can be scheduled X weeks/monts in advance. For some spankees, the spanking need is a pulsion that comes and go. And when it comes, it needs to be dealt with quickly (as in within the next 2-3 days maximum). So don't plan on scheduling too long in advance with these guys. For others that are always in need of a good spanking, or like to build anticipation, as well as for coaching relationships, scheduling a long time in advance is easier. A last comment about time and location. As a rule of thumb, neither you nor your spankee should spend more time traveling to a session than the lenght of the session itself: You can be a great spanker, if your spankee needs to spend 3h in a train for a 30min session, he will stop coming at some point. Do not spend 4h and a ton of money in a plane/train travel in the hope of meeting a single spankee in a far away city. If you travel specifically for spanking purposes, you should book as many guys as you can because most of them will flake. Even better, if you can, do not travel just for spanking activities: it is better to travel for work, or to meet family and friend, and if some spanking meetings can happen, well it is a bonus ! I.3 Basics of spanking The last thing you need in your starter kit is to know how to spank in a safe and sane setting. This includes: Some basic butt anatomic knowledge to know where to spank and where not to spank. But also some basic sense of body language reading to know where your spankee is in term of mindspace and pain scale. Having a knowledge of BDSM elements such as SSC (safe sane and consensual) and RACK (risk aware consensual kink) is -in my opinion- mandatory. You should also know what "aftercare" is, and learn how to do it properly. This can make the difference between you being a spanker/dad/dom versus being a violent assh0le. Know how to use your hand, and have some of the basic implements that can be found at very low price and present little risks for beginners. The first part about where to spank should be relatively easy. Watch videos, see what other spanker do, and follow this schematic if you are still lost: The second part about reading body langage and knowing where your spankee is in his mindset requires more experience. And I am not going to lie : guys that have been spanked are going to be a lot better at it than any beginner spanker that has never been spanked before. Indeed, beyond the pain that might be inflicted by hand or using implements, spanking is a lot in the head and includes many elements such as humiliation, frustration, regression and abandonment that are quite difficult to understand and to read when one has never experienced them. Regarding the implements. I know for a fact that many beginner doms are overwhelmed and impressed when they see other spankers having tables fully covered with various implements that all look stingy and expensive when you look them up in the internet. I have two things to say about this One, in most cases at least 80% of these implements are crap that is rarely or never used. And two, if you want to be any good at spanking, your hand is your best weapon of choice ! The first spankings you give as a spanker should be mostly hand spankings: your spankee's butt should hurt more than your hand, and this requires training ! At first you might get some blisters and even bleedings. Slow down, keep training and it will improve with time. But you should know that your hand's skin will become less soft ! If you must invest in implements, aim for cheap but safe ones first: Brushes are inexpensive and can be found in any store. Don't buy online, go to the store and feel the wood ! Ping-pong paddles, flip-flops, wood rulers, slippers. If your country has a "national spanking implement", you may want to consider buying one : canes in the UK as well as in many commonwealth countries, a tawse in Scotland, a paddle in the USA and Canada, or a martinet in France. A word of caution on belts: While they are a common implement that is easy to find and can be found in a wide range of prices, it is not a beginner friendly implement ! If you want to use one, the buckle should ALWAYS be in your hand and never used to whip, start with very slow blows and a belt folded one or two times. Lashes shouldn't land anywhere else than the meaty part of the butt. And never apply a hard belting -especially if you don't know what you are doing- on a spankee that moves a lot ! II Setting up a profile that attracts people I am aware that there are many websites and apps to meet potential spankee and where you can set up a profile. This section aims at being generic, but you may need to adapt depending on the website you use most to meet people. II.1 Introducing yourself Your profile is often going to be the first contact that a potential spankee will have with you (and maybe the only one). Therefore, it needs to be as complete and attractive as possible. Furthermore, keep in mind that there are usually more spankers than spankees in a given place, so you will need to have a profile as good if not better than the other guys profiles. The key element of any profile that we will discuss in this section is your profile description, which is usually a few lines long (depending on the website), and is the best place to introduce yourself. If it is empty (or mostly empty), or if it isn't attractive, chances are you will struggle to meet anyone. The basic information that any profile description should contain (if they are not already displayed in other fields): Your location Who you are : your age, a basic physical description (height, weight, body type), and your experience if possible A description of what you like and what you are looking for (see I.1) Who you are looking for : age range, body type, are you straight friendly or not, etc. Any hard limits that you have (if there is space left): e.g. not into scenarios, no blood, no sex, etc. A few pitfalls to avoid in your profile description: Having a description that is very specific about what you want to do to your potential spankees, but says nothing about you or who you want to meet. It will mostly attract wankers, but you will never meet them. Example: "I will pull your pants down and spank you very hard on your bare bottom like a little boy. Then, you will go to the corner with your red butt for everyone to see, and you will wait for me to come trash your ass with my very large leather belt !" Having a description that makes you sound like a dead German philosopher. This is cool if you want to meet only people with at least 5 years of higher education, but everyone else will flee in terror. Example: "Spanking is a wonderful voyage where physical pain meets the spiritual extasy of endorphins and shame, all colliding together until your body and mind submit to the punishment, and at last you will know peace." Having a description that says nothing. Example: "Hello, I am Patrick, I am a 38yo writter. I like all sorts of boys. So, I want to meet like-minded guys that share my spanking interest and are staying nearby." Copy-pasting the description of another spanker of switch (partly or everything). You don't want people to believe that you have no personnality, or worst that you are a catfish. Eventually, depending on who contacts you and your success rate, you will figure out what is wrong with your description. Does it give too many details ? Not enough ? Is it missing something ? It will all come together. II.2 Posting pictures on your profile Whenever it is possible, it is usually a good thing to have pictures on your profile as it is a good way to show others what you like, and what you do. Your profile picture is perhaps the only picture that you will have to decide on nearly all applications and meeting websites. So pick wisely. It can be a face picture, a picture of your hand, a picture of an implement, one of your spanking picture, a drawing, or a spanking picture you like. My advice on profile picture would be that it is important to have one. Anything with even a few information about you is better than nothing. Then, you have the other pictures (think pictures albums in spankthishookups, or the pictures you share here on southspanking). These pictures are very important because they will tell A LOT about what you like, sometimes even more than your description ! If you post a lot of corner time pictures, it will emplies that you enjoy doing it. Lots of pictures with canes, you are a cane user ! Mostly badly bruised asses, then you like to give it hard ! Spanked asses with a zoom on butt holes, you might not be "straight guy friendly" ! You get the idea. And this is true even if the pictures you use are not your own. This leads us to two other points : What to do if you have very few or no pictures of your own ? And how to carefully choosing the captions with your pictures. If you don't have your own spanking pictures (or if they are not great), there is always the possibility of having pictures of implements that you like. A picture of your hand, or your knees. A shot of your chair with a belt carefully placed on the side. Use your imagination, and with the right captions, you can probably make pictures that will reflect on what you like. Alternatively, you can also use pictures from studios or from other spankos, but don't forget to credit them ! You may also put them in an album called "My method from web pictures", or "things I like". The worst thing that you can do when using others pictures, is not crediting and claiming them as your own, and their is a bonus if you add a dumb caption below explaining how YOU spanked this guy so hard. Since we are on the topic of captions, it is one of these rare case where no caption is better than a bad caption. A picture alone is relatively open to interpretation depending on whom sees it. On the other hand, if you add a caption, then the picture becomes what you say it is. "I spanked this little slut until he begged, and only then i let him suck my dick" is a good example of a bad caption that ruins the mood with this picture. Remember that you will attract people that can identify with what you post. And alternatively, you will repell people for which what you post is beyond their limits or not to their taste. And it will happen even before you can exchange a single message ! My advice is: unless you are almost exclusively into practices that you know are non-consensual or divisive : try to stay neutral and consensual with the pictures you post and their captions. III Getting in touch with spankees III.1 Contacting first or letting them contact you ? This is a difficult question and it will depend on how well you are established, and the number of potential spankees around you. That being said, no matter your experience, it costs you nothing to send a message to a new comer or a spankee you are interested in. The rules to do so are simple: read his profile, and if you don't see anything obvious that suggests that you may not be a match, send a message. The message should be polite, and if you are not inspired, it can be an extended version of your profile description with the needed adaptations to what the lad you are interested in seems to be into. You may also add to your message some potential availability and a more specific location than in your profile. As you may not get a second chance, take your time to write it and proof-read it. If you are established enough (you already have a good reputation -even as a spankee-, a pool of spankees, and a profile that works), you can wait for people to message you. But you should know that you will get less hits and not necessarily the ones you are the most interested in. Waiting is also a good option if you have only little availability. III.2 Know when to stop messaging It can be frustrating to send messages and get no answer at all. And even more to exchange a few messages and then no more answers without any warning, or even : the guy blocks you for no obvious reason. Even if it can seem quite rude to you, there are probably reasons behind it: With a new comer that is in his 20s: it is likely that every single spanker in the area sent him a message at the same time as you did. That's a lot of messages. Yours didn't make it. Try again in a week or two if you sees that his profile is still active. He is part of these guys with a beginner profile since 5 years: It's not you, they never answer any messages. There is no profile picture, the age in the description is 2 years behind the profile age. No need to try to reach them again, it is a waste of time. You exchanged a few messages. He asked you how you wanted to spank him. You explained with many details. And then he stops answering. Most likely he had a great time in front of his screen reading about your spanking scenario, he jerked off and doesn't need you anymore. It is nothing personnal, he wasn't ready. Try again in a few months. In any case, unless it is with a regular, if a guy doesn't answer you after 2-3 messages while his account seems to be active or if you know that he did receive your messages; it means that he is not interested. So, stop messaging. You don't want to be that sticky guy that sends messages every days. IV Improve your skills and grow your network IV.1 Invest and improve your skills With time and if all goes well, you should get at least one, or a few regular spankees. Having regular is a good opportunity to improve your skills both with implements, but also on the psychological side of spanking. As they learn to trust you, your regulars will be more open about what they like or not during their sessions with you. Take the time to listen and learn ! Remember that -unlike what some morons think- spanking as any BDSM activities is mostly about what the sub/spankee needs and enjoy. Your spankees will also open up more about their deeper spanking desires, and most likely will be willing or even asking for harder sessions. Use this to progress with your skills and explore new things with them. Speaking of harder sessions, if you did not already, you should learn how to do a proper aftercare. Basically, you don't make a guy cry or push him beyond his limits and push him out of your flat in 5min right after the spanking is over. The more you push, the more you should spend time soothing them and taking care of them after the spanking is over. Soothing cream, warm blankets, hugs, massages, hot cocoa and cookies might prove useful. It is also curtuous to ask if everything is well 24 to 48h after the session: mental breakdowns can happen even after they have left your place. And knowing if the eventual bruises are healing well is an important information. Keep in mind that in your learning process you will make mistakes, and not everything will work for both parties. But this is a good thing, because you will know what not to do next time to make your sessions better. As time passes and you meet more people, you can also surely but surely invest into new spanking implements. I usually suggest not to invest into anything expensive unless you have lots of requests for it from locals spankees, or if the request comes from a regular. I also suggest to put the price rather than buying a crappy toy that makes a lot of noise, doesn't hurt much, and will be destroyed after only a few slaps. For my good toys, I personally like https://www.cane-iac.com/ , but I know they can be expensive! IV.2 Respect the limits: your spankees' limits, but also yours I mentionned a few times the importance of safe, sane and consensual meetings when it comes to spanking, as well as the need to be careful when searching for profiles that match your needs. Nevertheless I will insist that one of the key to becoming a successful spanker is to respect the limits of the people you will meet ! A spanker or dom that consider that he does what he wants to a sub/spankee is a bad dom/spanker, this is wrong, can lead to pursuit, and at least will give you a very bad reputation. I will push things further by saying that a good spanker/dom should insist that his potential spankee/sub gives him some hard limits. A spankee/sub that doesn't know or doesn't have any limits is a disaster waiting to happen and you should avoid meeting him. Limits to ask for include: Sex or no sex. This one should always be discussed before any meeting. And yes, a surprise finger in the butt counts as sex, and can be very much unwanted even if your spankee is gay ! Severity of the bruises, especially if the guy tells you he is partnered. And it is your role to know how to handle your implements, and to stop (or abort the session early) before crossing any fixed limit Pain : do we remain soft, do we push you to your pain limit ? a bit beyond your limit ? do we turn you into a crying mess ? A word of advice : don't cross their pain limit if you are not great with aftercare. Nudity and physical contact: some straight lads are very strict about this. Drawing blood: Sanitize your implements well if you do it. (you should sanitize them anyway, but even more carefully if you draw blood). There is no such thing as a spankee with too many limits. If he has too many limits to your taste, then don't meet him. And finally, you may ask for some limits to be pushed -slowly-, but it is best to do it only with spankees you already know, and if they say no, then you should respect their refusal. We have discuss a lot the limits of potential people you will meet, but you should also consider yours. A common issue of beginner to mid-experienced spanker is that they tend to accept any spankee so long as he is young and has a very cute butt, even though said good-looking spankees are asking for something very far from the spanker interests. It is sometimes difficult, but you should no to refuse a cute spankee if what he asks doesn't match with what you are looking for. If you still meet regardless of the poorly matching profile, either or both of you may end up being dissapointed with the session. Please note that the same can happen when you get lots of demands: follow your guts and refuse meeting that yhou know deep down will not work. Less meetings is better than lots of bad ones. IV.3 Networking and reputation As they will gain momentum, your network and your reputation will be your main tools to meet new lads, some of which might not have accepted to meet you before. A spankeed satisfied with your session is your best ambassador ! Do not hesitate to ask your regulars if it is okay to use them as references for guys that are hesitant to meet you. Treat them with respect, and always ask their permission to post their pictures or videos on your profile : it is their butt that is going to be on the internet for tghe world to see, not yours ! Their spanked ass will be your visit card, so you must be grateful to them, and respect their wishes if they want some picture or caption to be changed or removed at any point. Treating your network well is part of growing your reputation, and it takes only a few disgrunted spankees to ruin years of hard work building your reputation. So be extra cautious and on your toes about this. What about other spankers in your areas ? Well, you should also try your best to maintain neutral to good relation with them ! First, it takes several spankees and spankers to organize spanking parties.  Other spankers are also a good source of information to know which lads are flakes, who is a wanker, and even to share information about what works or not about spankees you have in common (with their consent, always). Furthermore, as we mentionned in section I, everyone has different tastes and availability. In other words, you can send them spankees that are not a match for you, and you may expect them to do the same. Petty jealousy with another spanker "because he gets all the spankees", or "because he spanked X last week so now he can't meet with me", or "because he has a more intimate/different relationship with Y" is generally a bad idea. Very few spankees are exclusive, so their is a good chance that you will have your turn if you are a good match too. Asking a spankee to choose between 2 spankers he likes is also a bad idea because even if he chooses you, your relationship will be damaged. In the same vein, a bit of teasing between spankers is okay, but blattant and free provocation between spankers should be avoided: any spankees involved will notice and it won't look good. It is even worst if other members of the community notice, and too much teasing will make you the bad guy, which can also damage your reputation. Lastly, slandering or speaking ill of another spanker should be avoided: at some point someone will notice that it was a lie, most likely his network of spankos will speak out, and it won't do you any good. The only situations where it is acceptable to warn other members of the community about a spanker and to give him a bad reputation include: You know for a fact that he doesn't respect consent and has broken hard limits about sex, bruises or drawing blood. in other words, he is violent and or dangerous. Even in this case, you should rather push spankees that were the victims to speak out first. Minors are involved.

Well guys, as you know the upgrade caused us downtime of several days, something I wanted to avoid.  I could have restored from our backup and got us back on-line much sooner, however we would not have achieved our goal.    This upgrade was 100% necessary and I am happy to say will be the very last one using this script.   Do you notice anything different?   I hope not!  You are not supposed to!   The purpose of the upgrade was simply to get the database and file structure updated while identifying blocks and modules that were no longer compatible and of course removing them.   We did this because we want to move away from this script PHPFOX to SOCIAL ENGINE.  Having everything updated makes it easier for support requests with the new script and the database importer.   The script we use at present was developed and created by an amazing guy called Raymond Benc, he had an awesome team of developers and support personnel.  The script was in high demand and new Apps and modules were being heavily developed by 3rd party vendors.   Raymond was forced to sell the script to a company called Younet a number of years ago.  Now they have their fingers in many pies and their business model is to raise as much money as they can from existing script owners.  They have done this by introducing a new product tier and if you want the updated Apps such as mobile, you need to pay a premium of 300% of your original purchase price to get your product updated.  Not only that you then have to pay on-going annual fees.   Okay, this may have been sustainable and of course had to be considered.  Even if I had gone this route, no one is really developing anything new for PHPFOX, basically it’s really only YOUNET themselves.  In contrast Social Engine has a healthy and vibrant 3rd party community   They just screwed me again, by removing support for our chat bar, so I am forced to use one we bought some time ago, its slower but will do the trick meantime.  They did this because, they have developed their own system, with a price tag of almost 1K – now aren’t they just clever?   Now that this upgrade has been achieved, we can start work on a move to SOCIAL ENGINE.  The best part about this is, that it will be developed alongside our existing script.  This means no downtime until we are ready to go live and even then, it will be minimum.   When we achieve this move, which I will begin working on today, we will have an awesome site that is quick, full of the features we want and fully compatible with mobile devices.  That is where we need to be.   I will be posting more on this later, and if you have any questions, please go ahead and reach out.   James

Okay you naughty boys and ever so strict dads n tops!  So I have just managed to disable the freaking touchpad on my laptop .. which was driving me nuts, now I can actually type without the mouse flipping up and down lines and screwing up my text. I am in the UK right now and will be here for at least the next 6 months.  So presently in quarantine and Dad has insisted I just wear my PJ’s, as we can’t go out.  Yea that has nothing to do with the fact he can bare my tail easily whenever he feels like it, and the number of excuses he has found to land several swats at a time on my butt have increased a lot! Now I am on holiday, and you would think that my weekly review and punishment sessions would be suspended, right?  Nope, not at all, I had my behind royally tanned yesterday, can you believe it? Oh and it gets worse, I do plan on visiting several Dads/Tops over the course of my visit and my dear old dad Denis is going to ask them to conduct the review session, in the event I am with them on a Sunday!  Now come on, even the sternest of Dads must admit, that is not fair!  And yes, I know I can be naughty, even when on holidays – but that is not the point, hello I am on holidays! Okay rant over for now! and just in-case you are wondering, my Pop has found an empty corner to stand me in, dang that sucks! Hugsssss

So an update on what has been going on. I did a server rebuild and moved us over to a better web server, Litespeed as opposed to Apache.  This had to be done for several reasons, speed being an obvious one but also because the server had some faults, including its networking.  It takes a long time to do this, because I have to move the data from the server to a backup VPS and then back again.  When we do the copy back to the server, given the large amount of data, it is a six-hour process.  That said, this will be the last build for the next 18 months, unless the hardware fails. On the networking, it proved to be extremely frustrating and I am pissed about it.  We used Enom as our domain host, because the interface is easy to use and because propagation is virtually instant.  Enom sold out to Hover and I have never seen a more useless control panel in my life.  I was unable to edit name servers or glue records with it constantly giving me ‘auth’ errors.  I did create a ticket and I am still waiting and that was over 24 hours ago.  Part of the networking issue was that guys could not get to the site from some locations, there was a problem with DNS. Given that Hover screwed me right up the middle, I signed up for a month’s trial with a DNS hosting provider, which seems to be going well.  At the very least it gives me a month to move to another domain registrar, because hover can go f*** themselves.  Do let me know if you are experiencing problems, but I will have our own private nameservers back up again soon. I had hoped to run upgrades and fix some other issues, but again I struck out of luck as the script installer and upgrade routine constantly failed.  To that end, I have duplicated the site on the same server and will work on refreshing the database from scratch.  What that means in practice, is I install the script fresh with no data.  I then using a copy of our database strip all the extra modules out and all the core components and export to a file.  On the fresh database, I simply drop all the tables that are populated on our live database, and then merge the two together.  It is time consuming, but I will get it done. So you guys now we are still moving away from the scrip to social engine, I just need to figure a lot of bits and pieces on that.  It’s a totally different can of worms, but again I will get it done.  As I have said before once we get over onto social engine, everything will run smoother and nicer, including progressive web apps. So that’s it from me, and I am considering having a large southern comfort.   Hugs   James

Hey all. So today, I am going to try and get the site back to normal, and fix all those niggle bugs as well as an upgrade or two. Part of this process involves reloading and reconfiguring the actual server. Backups have been completed and will be updated before I begin. All going well this process will take between 5 - 6 hours, though if I hit snags it may take longer. As of this moment, I plan on starting in 2 hours time, which is 10am AZ time. The status page will work on southspanking.net and I will update that as I go along. I hope you all have a spanking good day!   James

Hello Everyone, Just a wee note to let you know, I am scheduling some maintenance that will result in a few hours downtime.  This is necessary to resolve a number of site issues since our crash a few weeks ago. There will be an announcement as well as a new status page that will be hosted on a separate server and the link to that page will also be published. It should take no more than a few hours. I will be prepping tomorrow and I am planning on implementing either Sunday or Monday, I will include a number of time zones. Thanks for your patience and as always Heads all the way down, bottoms up up up and SPANK those naughty cheeks! Hugsss   James

Well, everyone, I figured it is about time that I posted an update on our recent down-time, and our progress in getting things back to normal. The first thing I need to emphasize is, this was NOT an upgrade, even though you may see things showing a little differently, or new features, I can promise you, these are not intentional and more related to getting the site back online. Our main server basically failed, and it was pretty much OS related.  In order to get things back again, the normal restore process I used also failed.  This left us in a pretty bad situation.  After trying various methods, including using the latest release of the script, I was able eventually to get the site back. However, as you will have noticed not everything is displaying properly or working correctly, such as on mobile devices, for example chat and feed.  Sometimes the login box does not work correctly either and a number of other bugs are present. In order to get everything back to normal, will mean further down-time and that is going to be unavoidable.  I am planning to do this, sometime next week, BUT I will be posting at least 24 hours in advance and providing a status page you can all access to see when the site is back online and its progress. Once we get this completed, the site will be back too normal and it will have some additional features, but they will all actually work this time.  Again, please note this will not be a major upgrade. Our main planned upgrade will mean all mobile devices will have 95% access to ALL site features.  This is a work in progress and I am using a test site to facilitate this transition.  I expect this to be implemented at the end of May, and again I will keep you all in the loop on this one. Thanks for everyone’s patience!   James and our Amazing Admin team.

Hello everybody, I hope you are all well during this crazy time that is upon us all.  Not only are we dealing with this pandemic, but we have a presidential election and of course we are coming up on holiday season.  I have a lot to tell you, and I am pretty excited about it.  Now before I get into it all, I do have to talk about the subject I dread the most, site funding.  Its always a source of embarrassment for me personally, and its something I would much rather avoid.  That said, I have learned the hard way, the longer I put it off, the worse the situation becomes. Previously I have simply pulled out the begging bowl and I do not want to do that anymore, so I am going to try something different.  I have created a new membership group called “Community Supporter”.  Everyone can choose to upgrade to this group by making a one-time payment of a minimum of $25, and that will last for as long as the site does.  You will get a small icon on your profile page together with the text ‘Community Supporter’, this is done automatically. Somethings I want to point out: You can upgrade by clicking on the upgrade button on the menu bar. When you upgrade, the charge will show as Arizoy LLC – the site will not be mentioned on your statement.  This is of course to protect your privacy. I am working on different payment gateways but for now Pay-Pal is the only option.  You do not need a Pay-Pal account though and can simply checkout as guest. If you have made a donation ever to the site of $25 or more, you will be upgraded.  I will do this manually, but it will take a bit of time.  Once I have finished, I will post as such and anyone I missed can then get in touch with me and I will fix it for them. You can choose the minimum of $25, or more, but there is no difference or additional benefits, if you choose to go higher.  I am keeping it simple.  When you think about $25 for life is pretty good value, when some sites charge around that or higher for just one month. It is a onetime payment, there is no reoccurring charge and the options will no longer appear under the upgrade button. I am hoping, this will allow the site to become self-sufficient, as we would only need a percentage of future members to upgrade their memberships in order to do so.  If we need to encourage further, we do have options such as restricting the videos, either by number or minutes to non-supporting members.  This would really be a last resort though, as I seriously want to keep the site free for everybody. With Black Friday and Cyber Monday, coming in the next few months, I would love to see enough upgrades so we can take advantage of the deals, possibly even snagging a server for a year, that would be awesome! Okay, I am so glad that’s over with …. now onto the good stuff! (dang I sounded boring in all of that)! Right you are, we are going for a major upgrade, which is currently in the testing phase on our backup server.  I will be inviting some of you to trial it for me and help identify any bugs etc.  I am funding the upgrade out of my own pocket, but this will be the last time I can do so.  This is by order of hubby whom wields the hairbrush. So here are some highlights: Its going to be faster. It will have a progressive web app, for those using tablets, cell phones etc. Again, with those using mobile devices, you will be able to download a generic app for both Android and Apple, though the respective stores. We will be using HTML 5 for videos. Chat system will be new and improved. Groups are getting a huge overall. You will be able to have password resets by email, but this will be constrained to only password resets. Photos and Albums are being revamped and will be much easier to navigate. You will have a favorite system, where you can mark any items you choose as a ‘favorite’ and then access the all from a new tab page. A few other surprises

The Coach's voice sounded already angry! "Well, let's start with a spontanous check of your cleanliness...!" The bloke already knew what would expect him. It was not the first time the Coach did such a control, which often ended in a corporal punishment. The guy stripped completely and then placed himself in front of his Coach. He sticked his hands towards his Coach. First the palms, then the back of his hands. "Fine..." complimented the Coach while checking the clean hands. "Now your ears, boy!" The boy moved his head and dad looked in his ears, first the left ear, then the right ear. "Clean as well! Good boy!" The boy was relieved but he rejoyed too soon... "All right, now your bottom! Turn around and bend down!" The 22 year old boy crinched and the back side of his muscular body got a goose-skin. The coach took a paper tissue out of his trousers and gave it to the boy. "Clean your butt cheeks with the tissue...! And go deeply inside.." The boy took the paper tissue, bent down further, spread his cheeks and scrubbed between his wide-spread bum-cleft. "hmm, my dear boy..." the coach mumbled. "I don't think you want to affirm that you cleaned your bum well after the last bowel-movement?" There was a highly visible brown stripe on the white paper tissue. The guy turned red: "Please, no enema...!" The coach looked at his football player with a very serious face: "You know that uncleanliness doesn't only mean that you'll get an enema - it means as well that you will get a hard punishment. So, you will come down to the punishment room in 10 minutes! Got it? The boy nodded, he felt bummed out. But there wouldn't be an alternative as disobedience would mean to be excluded from the football team.

The Coach's voice sounded already angry! "Well, let's start with a spontanous check of your cleanliness...!" The bloke already knew what would expect him. It was not the first time the Coach did such a control, which often ended in a corporal punishment. The guy stripped completely and then placed himself in front of his Coach. He sticked his hands towards his Coach. First the palms, then the back of his hands. "Fine..." complimented the Coach while checking the clean hands. "Now your ears, boy!" The boy moved his head and dad looked in his ears, first the left ear, then the right ear. "Clean as well! Good boy!" The boy was relieved but he rejoyed too soon... "All right, now your bottom! Turn around and bend down!" The 22 year old boy crinched and the back side of his muscular body got a goose-skin. The coach took a paper tissue out of his trousers and gave it to the boy. "Clean your butt cheeks with the tissue...! And go deeply inside.." The boy took the paper tissue, bent down further, spread his cheeks and scrubbed between his wide-spread bum-cleft. "hmm, my dear boy..." the coach mumbled. "I don't think you want to affirm that you cleaned your bum well after the last bowel-movement?" There was a highly visible brown stripe on the white paper tissue. The guy turned red: "Please, no enema...!" The coach looked at his football player with a very serious face: "You know that uncleanliness doesn't only mean that you'll get an enema - it means as well that you will get a hard punishment. So, you will come down to the punishment room in 10 minutes! Got it? The boy nodded, he felt bummed out. But there wouldn't be an alternative as disobedience would mean to be excluded from the football team.

The Coach's voice sounded already angry! "Well, let's start with a spontanous check of your cleanliness...!" The bloke already knew what would expect him. It was not the first time the Coach did such a control, which often ended in a corporal punishment. The guy stripped completely and then placed himself in front of his Coach. He sticked his hands towards his Coach. First the palms, then the back of his hands. "Fine..." complimented the Coach while checking the clean hands. "Now your ears, boy!" The boy moved his head and dad looked in his ears, first the left ear, then the right ear. "Clean as well! Good boy!" The boy was relieved but he rejoyed too soon... "All right, now your bottom! Turn around and bend down!" The 22 year old boy crinched and the back side of his muscular body got a goose-skin. The coach took a paper tissue out of his trousers and gave it to the boy. "Clean your butt cheeks with the tissue...! And go deeply inside.." The boy took the paper tissue, bent down further, spread his cheeks and scrubbed between his wide-spread bum-cleft. "hmm, my dear boy..." the coach mumbled. "I don't think you want to affirm that you cleaned your bum well after the last bowel-movement?" There was a highly visible brown stripe on the white paper tissue. The guy turned red: "Please, no enema...!" The coach looked at his football player with a very serious face: "You know that uncleanliness doesn't only mean that you'll get an enema - it means as well that you will get a hard punishment. So, you will come down to the punishment room in 10 minutes! Got it? The boy nodded, he felt bummed out. But there wouldn't be an alternative as disobedience would mean to be excluded from the football team.

The Coach's voice sounded already angry! "Well, let's start with a spontanous check of your cleanliness...!" The bloke already knew what would expect him. It was not the first time the Coach did such a control, which often ended in a corporal punishment. The guy stripped completely and then placed himself in front of his Coach. He sticked his hands towards his Coach. First the palms, then the back of his hands. "Fine..." complimented the Coach while checking the clean hands. "Now your ears, boy!" The boy moved his head and dad looked in his ears, first the left ear, then the right ear. "Clean as well! Good boy!" The boy was relieved but he rejoyed too soon... "All right, now your bottom! Turn around and bend down!" The 22 year old boy crinched and the back side of his muscular body got a goose-skin. The coach took a paper tissue out of his trousers and gave it to the boy. "Clean your butt cheeks with the tissue...! And go deeply inside.." The boy took the paper tissue, bent down further, spread his cheeks and scrubbed between his wide-spread bum-cleft. "hmm, my dear boy..." the coach mumbled. "I don't think you want to affirm that you cleaned your bum well after the last bowel-movement?" There was a highly visible brown stripe on the white paper tissue. The guy turned red: "Please, no enema...!" The coach looked at his football player with a very serious face: "You know that uncleanliness doesn't only mean that you'll get an enema - it means as well that you will get a hard punishment. So, you will come down to the punishment room in 10 minutes! Got it? The boy nodded, he felt bummed out. But there wouldn't be an alternative as disobedience would mean to be excluded from the football team.

  "After his Spanking"   or Spanking Tools and the Benefits of Enhanced Cornertime by Cornertime Confidential and the readers of SouthSpanking.com Many of you wrote in to ask us when Part 3 would be added to the Guide to the Correction of adult boys. We encourage you to read that blogpost first, of course. In our effort to make Part 3 work, even if you haven't read Parts 1 and 2, today, we will discuss "after his Spanking," or a short reflection on Spanking Tools a discussion on the benefits of enhanced Cornertime. Today, in Part 3, let's discuss "after his Spanking":   Spanking Tools and the Best Use of Them As we all know, the very best use for a Spanking Tool is only as a simple warning positioned out on the counter in the kitchen, hanging from a hook, on the bathroom sink, or in the bedroom where the boy can be made to fetch The Stick or The Belt when needed. But sometimes, the second best use of Spanking Tools can be when applied right across a naughty boy's bottom—and sometimes repeatedly so..  In this section, we'll speak primarily of Spanking Tools but in many cases this can mean a variety of things you may or may not have considered, for example:  Daddy's hand Any Rod of Correction or  The Belt that best keeps Daddy's trousers up, his boy in line, and the relationship on track.  Also, we'll speak of a "relationship," but we only really mean the relationship between two people or more in a CP "meet up," not necessarily a Domestic Discipline relationship, a Daddy/boy relationship, or even  long-term relationship at all. Ideally, Daddys will know their boys well enough ahead of time and can utilize the most effective Spanking Tool whenever the call for. However, sometimes you just won't know until a new boy arrives. Most Daddys will be glad that they've spent time learning to hand-Spank well and effectively. And they'll also be better off if they have an organized Spanking Tool bag or shelf or drawer, so the boy can be sent there to pick out the Spanking Tool that'll be used across his backside. In most instances, the alarm opening a drawer of various sticks for Spanking will subside if the Daddy sets the tone and the emotional stage ahead of time, so the boy isn't alarmed and just runs out the door. Instead, the Daddy who best connects ahead of time will find compliant boys who are grateful that there's not just a gigantic frat paddle or a big thick belt and that's the only choice.   Tips for Tops! Once you have a mini-trove from which to choose from, have new boys go select the Spanking Tool with which they will be Spanked. Cornertime Confidential recommends having a few simple items: a thin light paddle, a thicker Spanking Stick like a Jocari or mini-frat paddle, a good Old-Fashioned Hairbrush, and a firm sturdy ruler or yardstick. For belts, you'll want a 2.5"-3" thick black buckled belt and possibly a razor strop or other effective leather strap for Spanking.  Remember, as we learned in parts 2 and 3, a good beating is not delivered by The Spanking Tool. It's created by the Daddy or the Top who administers it. So as you've seen in the other sections of the Guide to the Spanking of adult boys, we have extensive insights for you on that which you should read carefully. However, the Spanking Tools you use will can make a world of difference if they are high quality and applied correctly. Some boys even become attached to certain ones. So do some Daddys!  You don't need to go anywhere other than the local Marshalls, Ross for Less, T.J. Maxx, or Target/Walmart for what you'll need. This may surprise, but the most simple, affordable black belt that does the job is a standard product from H&M stores. It's less than $20. And while Cornertime Confidential encourage all community members to support the communities that support us, including Nasty Pig, Albert Prendergast,the many talented paddlemeisters out there, we don't want anyone to feel that a life in the CP community is a matter of having the latest styles and fashions. Tips for Tops! They call it an "Old Fashioned" Hairbrush Spanking for a reason. A new-fangled hairbrush won't really achieve your goals.  If there's a need, let Cornertime Confidential know, and we can provide a buyers guide of where to get the Spanking Tools you'll want around your home. Once you have them, be sure to keep them in eyeshot of any boy you have over.  If you have a partner who is regularly disciplined, work together to find the very best way to heighten anticipation with everyday objects vanilla friends and family will not realize are used for CP in your home. A small wooden cutting board in the kitchen can regularly double as a hand-sized paddle for boy. An Italian fly swatter (they're made with a leather face) can hang in the kitchen or on the patio, and be used for swattting away bad behaviour as well! The Belt hanging from the closet door can be there as a constant Behinder Reminder to be good and get to bed on time or wake up early! And a good Old Fashioned Hairbrush that isn't really used (in our home Daddy and I are both fairly bald, so no one knows quite why we have The Hairbrush sitting out in the bathroom) can be a Behaviour Modifier every single time your boy goes to the bathroom—and remind him that he's the boy and you're the Daddy/Top.         A Discussion on the Benefits of Enhanced Cornertime Enhanced Cornertime can be, when administered well, in and of itself its own punishment. As you develop your Corporal Punishment-based relationship, sometimes it may help to set the tone using this tool in your toolbox. Cornertime or a Time Out can be used without resorting to Spanking. But many find it boring. So, make it a busy time for your boy: writing lines, washing his mouth out with soap and having him hold the bar in his mouth while he's in The Corner, lecturing him while he stands there. For some boys in some relationships Cornertime will not work. A sound beating on the behind is all they want or need. But for many, that's just too short and abrupt. That's one of the reasons many Daddys opt for the use and effective implementation of Enhanced Cornertime.  We posed the need for some feedback on these areas of importance to the large, well-experience SouthSpanking.com group. Here's what they suggested:   oldskoolotk Cornertime should last for at least 10 minutes in my opinion, just like the Spanking, a boy should wish it was over long before it actually is, and it should be a lesson in endurance. A boy should never feel that Cornertime means he is in the clear, more Spanking should always be a threat, if a boy hasn’t accepted his punishment fully and doesn’t have a proper attitude upon review.    Hands should always be placed somewhere that leaves him exposed front and back, and he should be corrected appropriately if they wander. Adding holding a coin to the wall with his nose can be extra punishment if he has trouble staying in position. Talking should be prohibited unless the boy is spoken to, Some boys need to be sat on the lap, as well, and that can be added at the very end when the boys punishment is over. Other boys may need their bottoms lotioned with something to help heal them, and that can also be done at the end. It's best done OTK with some encouraging words.    The pants and underpants coming up or being put on is the final part of the process, and signifies that the punishment is over. However, in certain situations clothing restrictions can be appropriate and can add to a boys consequences. A boy may be restricted to briefs or even a bare bottom for a certain amount of time and gradually earn back his clothing privileges, or perhaps even be required to sleep nude.    James AZ Very Very Very well-written Oldskool —punishment must be effective and Cornertime is definitely a time to think, a time to reflect, and a time to heal ... it's emotional and a lot more...creativity is so easy, and Daddys or Tops can be encouraged to get very creative. Max Writing lines can be salutary. So can sitting bare-bottomed on a hard wooden chair with a Spanking Tool within eyeshot. We find it instructive how inventive members of this robust website are both with ideas and actions.The Correction of adult boys isn't just about Spanking. There's a lot of psychological value in integrating the Spanking Tools, making Cornertime or Times Out a part of the process, or having your punished boy write lines to correspond with the need for his Spanking. For example, if he's being Spanked for open defiance, you can have him write, "I promise to not be openly defiant to Daddy." or "Daddy is in charge. I am not." 100 times with a pencil on a big sheet of paper.  Tips for Tops! Invest in paper and pencils ahead of time before suddenly being unable to administer the punishment because you don't have enough paper around the house! NonSpanking punishments—broadly speaking, "enhanced Cornertime"—can extend the time necessary for a full and complete Corporal Punishment experience. Enhanced Cornertime can be a stand-alone punishment as well, adding a sense that the boy is not in charge. It's particularly effective when used domestically in the course of a regular night of eating dinner, watching T.V., playing video or board games, etc. If you are in the midst of regular domestic live, when an appropriate time comes based on snark, tone, attitude, laziness, lack of cooperation, send your boy to The Corner, a place you have set aside in Punishment Spanking times as The Corner where naughty boys in the house go.  Sometimes this will mean sending him to his room.Sometimes it'll be just a place in the living room where you can see him standing with his 'pants lowered or not—and his bottom facing into the room. When punished in this way, the Correction of adult boys goes far beyond the thrills and spills associated with Spanking alone. You can turn off the T.V. (and now that Daddys mostly all have DVR, they can stop a program midstream, and attend to discipline, and then when the boy is sufiiciently punished, return to the program with or without the errant boy). Why do this? Because Enhanced Cornertime can bring vitality back to a relationship that can be stuck in a tidewater of repetition, dullness, or worse. Relationships need variety, and one way to do that is to use The Stick or The Belt, but another it to use your mind.    Tips for Tops! The mind is a very effective Tool for Corporal and non-Corporal Punishment. Use that tool to put a nail in bad behaviour, defiance, Rulebreaking, and the like.  What can you do with these following household items? Castor OIl  Capsaicin Cream  A switch from a recent hike  Stinging nettles from a local forest  A rough plastic door mat  Enforced writing of lines  (For some boys) being put into diapers  (For others) being made to wear white briefs... ...the options can be seemingly endless...if you put your mind to it! So don't put your back into it. Spend less time fretting about whether you deliver a good Spanking. Think more about how you can be the perfect Daddy for the boys you have.  Each boy is unique as is each Daddy, and a unique approach driven by you and his own personal experience will make the Spanking of adult boys in your life better, more effective, and ultimately much for satisfying for both involved.          After a Trip to the Woodshed, What Next?   Please comment below or email me with your ideas.   ________________________________________ Follow Cornertime Confidential Wherever You Are: Tumblr  ∙  Twitter  ∙  Blogger ∙  WordPress  

  "After his Spanking"   or Spanking Tools and the Benefits of Enhanced Cornertime by Cornertime Confidential and the readers of SouthSpanking.com Many of you wrote in to ask us when Part 3 would be added to the Guide to the Correction of adult boys. We encourage you to read that blogpost first, of course. In our effort to make Part 3 work, even if you haven't read Parts 1 and 2, today, we will discuss "after his Spanking," or a short reflection on Spanking Tools a discussion on the benefits of enhanced Cornertime. Today, in Part 3, let's discuss "after his Spanking":   Spanking Tools and the Best Use of Them As we all know, the very best use for a Spanking Tool is only as a simple warning positioned out on the counter in the kitchen, hanging from a hook, on the bathroom sink, or in the bedroom where the boy can be made to fetch The Stick or The Belt when needed. But sometimes, the second best use of Spanking Tools can be when applied right across a naughty boy's bottom—and sometimes repeatedly so..  In this section, we'll speak primarily of Spanking Tools but in many cases this can mean a variety of things you may or may not have considered, for example:  Daddy's hand Any Rod of Correction or  The Belt that best keeps Daddy's trousers up, his boy in line, and the relationship on track.  Also, we'll speak of a "relationship," but we only really mean the relationship between two people or more in a CP "meet up," not necessarily a Domestic Discipline relationship, a Daddy/boy relationship, or even  long-term relationship at all. Ideally, Daddys will know their boys well enough ahead of time and can utilize the most effective Spanking Tool whenever the call for. However, sometimes you just won't know until a new boy arrives. Most Daddys will be glad that they've spent time learning to hand-Spank well and effectively. And they'll also be better off if they have an organized Spanking Tool bag or shelf or drawer, so the boy can be sent there to pick out the Spanking Tool that'll be used across his backside. In most instances, the alarm opening a drawer of various sticks for Spanking will subside if the Daddy sets the tone and the emotional stage ahead of time, so the boy isn't alarmed and just runs out the door. Instead, the Daddy who best connects ahead of time will find compliant boys who are grateful that there's not just a gigantic frat paddle or a big thick belt and that's the only choice.   Tips for Tops! Once you have a mini-trove from which to choose from, have new boys go select the Spanking Tool with which they will be Spanked. Cornertime Confidential recommends having a few simple items: a thin light paddle, a thicker Spanking Stick like a Jocari or mini-frat paddle, a good Old-Fashioned Hairbrush, and a firm sturdy ruler or yardstick. For belts, you'll want a 2.5"-3" thick black buckled belt and possibly a razor strop or other effective leather strap for Spanking.  Remember, as we learned in parts 2 and 3, a good beating is not delivered by The Spanking Tool. It's created by the Daddy or the Top who administers it. So as you've seen in the other sections of the Guide to the Spanking of adult boys, we have extensive insights for you on that which you should read carefully. However, the Spanking Tools you use will can make a world of difference if they are high quality and applied correctly. Some boys even become attached to certain ones. So do some Daddys!  You don't need to go anywhere other than the local Marshalls, Ross for Less, T.J. Maxx, or Target/Walmart for what you'll need. This may surprise, but the most simple, affordable black belt that does the job is a standard product from H&M stores. It's less than $20. And while Cornertime Confidential encourage all community members to support the communities that support us, including Nasty Pig, Albert Prendergast,the many talented paddlemeisters out there, we don't want anyone to feel that a life in the CP community is a matter of having the latest styles and fashions. Tips for Tops! They call it an "Old Fashioned" Hairbrush Spanking for a reason. A new-fangled hairbrush won't really achieve your goals.  If there's a need, let Cornertime Confidential know, and we can provide a buyers guide of where to get the Spanking Tools you'll want around your home. Once you have them, be sure to keep them in eyeshot of any boy you have over.  If you have a partner who is regularly disciplined, work together to find the very best way to heighten anticipation with everyday objects vanilla friends and family will not realize are used for CP in your home. A small wooden cutting board in the kitchen can regularly double as a hand-sized paddle for boy. An Italian fly swatter (they're made with a leather face) can hang in the kitchen or on the patio, and be used for swattting away bad behaviour as well! The Belt hanging from the closet door can be there as a constant Behinder Reminder to be good and get to bed on time or wake up early! And a good Old Fashioned Hairbrush that isn't really used (in our home Daddy and I are both fairly bald, so no one knows quite why we have The Hairbrush sitting out in the bathroom) can be a Behaviour Modifier every single time your boy goes to the bathroom—and remind him that he's the boy and you're the Daddy/Top.         A Discussion on the Benefits of Enhanced Cornertime Enhanced Cornertime can be, when administered well, in and of itself its own punishment. As you develop your Corporal Punishment-based relationship, sometimes it may help to set the tone using this tool in your toolbox. Cornertime or a Time Out can be used without resorting to Spanking. But many find it boring. So, make it a busy time for your boy: writing lines, washing his mouth out with soap and having him hold the bar in his mouth while he's in The Corner, lecturing him while he stands there. For some boys in some relationships Cornertime will not work. A sound beating on the behind is all they want or need. But for many, that's just too short and abrupt. That's one of the reasons many Daddys opt for the use and effective implementation of Enhanced Cornertime.  We posed the need for some feedback on these areas of importance to the large, well-experience SouthSpanking.com group. Here's what they suggested:   oldskoolotk Cornertime should last for at least 10 minutes in my opinion, just like the Spanking, a boy should wish it was over long before it actually is, and it should be a lesson in endurance. A boy should never feel that Cornertime means he is in the clear, more Spanking should always be a threat, if a boy hasn’t accepted his punishment fully and doesn’t have a proper attitude upon review.    Hands should always be placed somewhere that leaves him exposed front and back, and he should be corrected appropriately if they wander. Adding holding a coin to the wall with his nose can be extra punishment if he has trouble staying in position. Talking should be prohibited unless the boy is spoken to, Some boys need to be sat on the lap, as well, and that can be added at the very end when the boys punishment is over. Other boys may need their bottoms lotioned with something to help heal them, and that can also be done at the end. It's best done OTK with some encouraging words.    The pants and underpants coming up or being put on is the final part of the process, and signifies that the punishment is over. However, in certain situations clothing restrictions can be appropriate and can add to a boys consequences. A boy may be restricted to briefs or even a bare bottom for a certain amount of time and gradually earn back his clothing privileges, or perhaps even be required to sleep nude.    James AZ Very Very Very well-written Oldskool —punishment must be effective and Cornertime is definitely a time to think, a time to reflect, and a time to heal ... it's emotional and a lot more...creativity is so easy, and Daddys or Tops can be encouraged to get very creative. Max Writing lines can be salutary. So can sitting bare-bottomed on a hard wooden chair with a Spanking Tool within eyeshot. We find it instructive how inventive members of this robust website are both with ideas and actions.The Correction of adult boys isn't just about Spanking. There's a lot of psychological value in integrating the Spanking Tools, making Cornertime or Times Out a part of the process, or having your punished boy write lines to correspond with the need for his Spanking. For example, if he's being Spanked for open defiance, you can have him write, "I promise to not be openly defiant to Daddy." or "Daddy is in charge. I am not." 100 times with a pencil on a big sheet of paper.  Tips for Tops! Invest in paper and pencils ahead of time before suddenly being unable to administer the punishment because you don't have enough paper around the house! NonSpanking punishments—broadly speaking, "enhanced Cornertime"—can extend the time necessary for a full and complete Corporal Punishment experience. Enhanced Cornertime can be a stand-alone punishment as well, adding a sense that the boy is not in charge. It's particularly effective when used domestically in the course of a regular night of eating dinner, watching T.V., playing video or board games, etc. If you are in the midst of regular domestic live, when an appropriate time comes based on snark, tone, attitude, laziness, lack of cooperation, send your boy to The Corner, a place you have set aside in Punishment Spanking times as The Corner where naughty boys in the house go.  Sometimes this will mean sending him to his room.Sometimes it'll be just a place in the living room where you can see him standing with his 'pants lowered or not—and his bottom facing into the room. When punished in this way, the Correction of adult boys goes far beyond the thrills and spills associated with Spanking alone. You can turn off the T.V. (and now that Daddys mostly all have DVR, they can stop a program midstream, and attend to discipline, and then when the boy is sufiiciently punished, return to the program with or without the errant boy). Why do this? Because Enhanced Cornertime can bring vitality back to a relationship that can be stuck in a tidewater of repetition, dullness, or worse. Relationships need variety, and one way to do that is to use The Stick or The Belt, but another it to use your mind.    Tips for Tops! The mind is a very effective Tool for Corporal and non-Corporal Punishment. Use that tool to put a nail in bad behaviour, defiance, Rulebreaking, and the like.  What can you do with these following household items? Castor OIl  Capsaicin Cream  A switch from a recent hike  Stinging nettles from a local forest  A rough plastic door mat  Enforced writing of lines  (For some boys) being put into diapers  (For others) being made to wear white briefs... ...the options can be seemingly endless...if you put your mind to it! So don't put your back into it. Spend less time fretting about whether you deliver a good Spanking. Think more about how you can be the perfect Daddy for the boys you have.  Each boy is unique as is each Daddy, and a unique approach driven by you and his own personal experience will make the Spanking of adult boys in your life better, more effective, and ultimately much for satisfying for both involved.          After a Trip to the Woodshed, What Next?   Please comment below or email me with your ideas.   ________________________________________ Follow Cornertime Confidential Wherever You Are: Tumblr  ∙  Twitter  ∙  Blogger ∙  WordPress  

What Corona Did to My DD Relationship  Change in a Time of Stasis Home With Daddy Isn't What it Was Funny, but I've not talked much here about how Coronavirus wrecked havoc on Daddy and me. We still don't know how to be Daddy and boy anymore. It's just rewired everything, and sent us into a DD tailspin. I think we'll get back to normal once everyone and their mother doesn't live in the building 24/7, but until that time, Daddy and I have pressed pause. We'd already been falling out of regular Maintenance Spankings and general practice over time. Work has been very dicey and scary and there just hasn't been the mental space to be who we are as a fully realized DD couple. Just lousy. But fear not, this email isn't intended as a downer. Sassy Andy got back in touch recently and I thought I'd share his perspective about how Coronavirus kept his relationship on track during the pandemic. It all started with a few emails asking how things were going: Saturday, April 25, 2020  jake, Well I'm glad you are still working jake.  As I told you, I'm working from home and so is Rob. At first, I was a little nervous thinking I would get in trouble more. I did the first while e.g. the mouth soaping that I sent photos of. I'm still standing in The Corner pretty regularly for silly things, except last week it was only once, I was so proud. I had to stand in The Corner last night and this afternoon, and I've been told if I'm sent to The Corner one more time Rob will Spank me.  You sound stressed and I hate hearing that. Have you gotten into any trouble? Spankings? Been in The Corner at all?  Saturday, May 2, 2020  andy, Yeah, no Spankings, Cornertime, or anything. We are very laissez faire right now. This is NOT good in the long run, but necessary right now during this ackward time. jake Sunday, May 3, 2020  jake, On the one hand, you are getting a bit of a break from the discipline but like you said, it is not good in the long run. It will be hard to rein you in after not being punished at all. For me, once I switched to working at home, I didn't think The Rules or punishments would change.  Like I said to you before, I was worried that I would get into trouble more because Rob is now around me all the time.    Struggling to Live as a boy During the Pandemic Overall, I don't think things have changed that much. I still stand in The Corner pretty regularly, and I've had two Spankings, one mouth soaping, and I've had to write lines three times over the past seven weeks. That's pretty on par with my punishments in normal times. The positive is that I'm used to others seeing me in The Corner as people are always coming and going from our home. Now, it's just Rob, so it's not as humiliating, but he's made my time there quite long to compensate. I'm almost always stood there for an hour, at attention, nose pressed in The Corner, wearing the dunce cap. I look forward to this ending, it's been way too long and I really miss eating out, going out for a beer, seeing live music etc...and I've never watched so much T.V. in my life. Hang in there, it will end soon, and you'll have a sore behind once again. andy ___________________________________ A Coda July 1, 2020 Update: Laid off after 10 years on the job, and 9 years before that! I may be stepping back a bit from the blog writing for a while. I've gotten find a revenue stream after 20 years of great work.:I'm crushed, y'all. Not sure what to do to make myself invaluable again. Wish me luck. 

*Permission is granted to repost this on other sites.  If you do, please credit me as "Ageless Al"* When people think of ageplay, they’re more likely to think about the Littles – The adults who play as babies and toddlers.  But if you look, you can find plenty of Middles around, playing as boys above the age of toilet training.  This is true even on sites that focus on diapers.  There’s certainly plenty of us here in the spanking community! Being an older boy has its perks.  We can have a little more maturity than the babies.   We can talk with the grammar and vocabulary of an adult (though some words are still off limits).  Our toys and cartoons are designed for more developed minds.  But we’re still at an age where we crave affection and guidance from our Dads and Onkels. There’s greater freedom but we still have restrictions.  We may even have chores!  Some of us will try to push the boundaries, only to be met with strict punishments.  I summarise my personal approach to ageplay as “old enough that I should be able to use the toilet but certainly not too old for a smack bottom.” While avoiding more babyish outfits, clothing can still display childishness.  We can often dress ourselves.  We like t-shirts and briefs with bright colours and cartoon characters.  Some of us have to wear a school uniform with smart shorts.  And some of us do suffer the embarrassment of having our big boy undies taken away and being put back into diapers. Not all Middles wear diapers but they still have their place.  Maybe it’s “forced” on us as a punishment or by a mean big bro.  Maybe the man in charge wants to make sure his bedsheets are protected.  Some boys still struggle with the occasional daytime accident in their big boy pants.  Whatever the reason, we know in our hearts that wearing our diapers is juvenile, precisely because we identify in an older role!  

(*A special thank you to Jake Tenneby for preserving this blog for me.  This is my original writing, which was reposted with permission on Cornertime Confidential, and was lost when my profile got deleted  I did not have this saved anywhere, so thank you for preserving it) Many everyd­ay dads that spank their boys have one main implement that they usually use on their boy's bottoms. It might be:     A paddle han­ging on the wall,     A belt that is worn day to day,     The hairbrush safely kept on the nightstand, or     It may just be his own hand. And although Doms in the spanking community typically have large collections of imple­ments with apprecia­tion for all the nua­nces of each, most guys favor one implement or type of implement over the rest. This essay is to explore what th­at choice says about the spanker (if any­thing). Please comment or sh­are your own observa­tions! HAND Hand spankers are warm and caring. They are the type to call and ask how you are doing, and what you are doing. They will talk to you as a friend would, and will take an interest in your life. A spanking from them will usually be long and drawn out. They will tell you they are disappoin­ted with you, and me­an it. Hand spanke­rs spank almost excl­usively OTK. They may spank you on the bare bottom, but will also spank your un­derpants a lot of tim­es, and sometimes wi­ll spank the seat of your pants. Because of this your butt is never safe from a reprimanding smack or proud pat. Just like they like getting in your business, they will land their fingers in the crea­se of your butt and on your bum hole dur­ing a spanking witho­ut apology.  When they are finished spanking you they may want a hug or for you to sit on their lap. THE HAIRBRUSH Old fashioned hairbrush spankers are the strict cousins of hand spankers. They are caring but much st­ricter than hand spa­nkers. They are us­ually detail oriented and meticulous. Like hand spankers, hairbrush spankers al­most always spank OT­K, however hairbrush spankers almost alw­ays spank on the bare bottom. Although some may warm your underpants-clad bottom with their hand, on­ce the hairbrush com­es out, your butt will be bared, and the hairbrush spanker will be the one to bare it. These spankers want to be in full contr­ol of every aspect; they want to see eve­ry smack, see your butt's reaction, and carefully plan their next smack. They will also cl­osely monitor you for signs of emotional or physical resistance, and will not end a span­king until they are completely gone. Ha­irbrush spankers rar­ely spank anywhere outside of the buttoc­ks, because it would not be proper; which means you will nev­er have marks on your thighs, but your bottom will likely ha­ve blisters and brui­ses. Expect cornertime and an evaluati­on of how well you learned your lesson afterward. BELT Belt spankers are generally "avera­ge guys" who just wa­nt to get the job do­ne. They care enou­gh to spank, but don­’t want it to be too intimate. This is why belt spankers alm­ost always spank you either laying on the bed or bent over. You will usually be asked to lower your own pants and unde­rpants for a belt spa­nking, and are usual­ly treated much more like an adult. Wh­en the spanking star­ts,the belt will la­nd where it may, it may be lopsided, hit­ting one buttock more than the other, or it may lash your te­nder bumhole or thig­hs, but that is all your problem for scr­ewing up. Belt spank­ers may tell you to take it like a man, meaning they don't want you to break down on them. After yo­ur lashes, life goes back to normal, and you're expected to get on with life as if they had not just seen and whipped yo­ur bare butt.   PADDLE Paddle spank­ers like showmanship and are competitive. Their spanking im­plement is a work of art, worthy of disp­lay, whether for the message engraved or painted on it, or for the beauty and craftsmanship of the paddle itself. If they have an older more worn paddle, that too is a badge of hon­or for the number of spankings it has de­livered. They will talk openly of spank­ing you, without any hesitation, and will also not hesitate to spank you in front of someone, when it's warranted. Pad­dles can easily pene­trate pants, so there is a chance you wi­ll be clothed for pa­rt or all of a paddl­ing. Paddlings are almost always done be­nding over, and are very "on the spot" type of punishments. Because of the show­manship of paddlers, you will almost alw­ays get extra swats if you fail to keep your position or fol­low any of the other rules that are set for you. Paddle span­kers get a very smug satisfaction out of spanking you, and enjoy watching you struggle to maintain. Tears are seen as an accomplishment, and are usually not di­scouraged. After the spanking, you may be put in the corner to display your red bottom if there’s time, but otherwise seeing you nursing yo­ur sore bottom is satisfying enough. SLIPPER Slipper spa­nkers see the value of spanking boys, but see it as a dirty job. The sole of a shoe is well suited to the task, having to tread the dirt and gravel of life. Slipperings are given OTK or bent over most often, and are usually given bare bo­ttomed but sometimes in pajamas or under­pants. Slipper spank­ers have a lot in co­mmon with belt spank­ers, in that they are more interested in the ends rather than the means. The sl­ipper will land most­ly on your bottom, but if needed it will also land on your thighs. Slipper span­kers are more likely to send you to bed after a spanking or otherwise disrupt your life as part of the punishment. They may also soap your mouth or use other punitive measures in addition to the span­king. SWITCH / SPOON Spanke­rs that favor switch­es or spoons usually have deep religious convictions about spanking. They may li­ke to have long talk­s, hand on shoulder style. They will li­kely have you fetch the spoon or pick yo­ur own switch to make you willingly subm­it to the punishment. When it’s time to carry out the disci­pline, they will oft­en lecture you for your offense and make it seem much worse than you think it was. You will almost always be bare bott­omed, but the spanks will often spread to your thighs with the switch, or bum-ho­le and tender sit-sp­ots with the spoon.  You may be pla­ced in the degrading diaper position with spoon or switch spankers.  Otherwise, they usually like you bending over or placed over the kn­ee. Switch and spoon spankers are usual­ly relentless, and are on a mission to whip the naughtiness out of you, so expect a very painful spa­nking with welts in the case of the swit­ch, or blisters in the case of the spoon. After the spankin­g, expect more lectu­ring while you are still bared, and expe­ct to be questioned about plans to impro­ve. The good news is, you will likely es­cape corner time or any other punishment once you are dismis­sed. RAZOR STRAP / CANE St­rap or cane Spankers are strong male aut­hority figures that command respect. They take discipline seriously, and belie­ve spanking is an im­portant part of inst­illing it into boys. You will likely be stripped naked for a strap or cane puni­shment, or at least naked from the waist down. You will oft­en have to fold your clothes, and stand in front of them for a lecture. The humi­liation level is usu­ally high to match the pain level you are about to feel. You will then be told to bend over, most of the time over an object as the intense pain makes grabbing knees impractical. There wi­ll usually be a set number of lashes del­ivered, the cane com­ing in multiples of 6 and the strap in multiples of 5. The lashes will be well placed and deliberat­e, and there will be no mercy. You will take as many as you earned, but usually have the small mercy of knowing how many you­’re getting. You may have to count the lashes out loud and/or thank the spanker for them. Like padd­lings, there are lik­ely to be consequenc­es for failing to st­ay in position with the addition of havi­ng to keep count. You will likely be put on display in the co­rner for an excruciatingly long period of time after your puni­shment and not be al­lowed to even touch your bottom. You are likely to have your behavior reviewed before you are allowed your clothes back, and also be given a stern warning about future misbehaviors.

                       Discipline:  Foundation of the Father-Son Relationship                       [By: Strapman02]         [Disclaimer:  I wrote this essay [below, in 1991] , when I was just starting graduate school.  I [was] in my late 20's [when I added to, and edited, this together for this posting], do not now have children, nor have I ever had children.  I am just exercising my First Amendment rights here -- so do not try to draw the wrong conclusions by reading into this what you want to read into it, rather than what I wrote in it.  I welcome all responses to the essay, both here and in private email.]        Over the years, much has been said about the nature of the father-son  relationship, and of the proper role of the father in the rearing of his son.  The father wears many hats in his relationship with his son:  he is authoritative (and authoritarian) on certain matters; he provides his son with a role model-- himself--on how to act as a man; he is an advisor on certain issues, such as those of a sexual nature vis a vis the opposite (or, in more and more cases,  the same) sex; he is also the disciplinarian of the son.         The Bible offers its own advice for the father-son relationship:       "He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores  correction leads others astray."--Proverbs 10:17.       "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid."--Proverbs 12:1       "He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored."--Proverbs 13:18       "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."--Proverbs 13:24       "He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding."--Proverbs 15:32   `     It is this that which we will be discussing in this treatise.          The father has the legal authority and obligation to discipline his son.  To accomplish this goal, different fathers use different means, such as reasoning,  withholding of privileges (e.g. grounding, no car this week, etc.), cutting  allowances, and last, and in my view, most importantly--for blatant and  significant violations of house rules that could endanger himself or others  in the family or society--corporal methods.        The father is the one that takes the son into a private room, such as a  bedroom, bathroom, or other room; tells the son that he has been bad because  he has engaged in some objectionable behavior; tells the son that he is going  to be paddled, spanked, strapped, or whipped, or whatever verb you prefer; orders his son to, and if need be, he himself proceeds to, pull down the son's  pants and underpants; bends him over the back of a chair, across his lap, face down lengthwise on the bed, or on the side of a bed; and administers a paddle, a strap, or other device,  such as a razor strop, across his son's bare buttocks in a meticulous, repetitive, and severe fashion, until the son understands, under no uncertain terms, that what he did was WRONG, and, should this particular activity be repeated at any time in the future, similar, though even more  severe, consequences will befall his son.        Friends, I never had my father around to perform this most important,  necessary function.  I only wonder how I might be different than the way I am today had my father been around to spank me soundly when I deserved it.   Would that have made me a stronger person?  Perhaps.  Would that have instilled violent tendencies in my own personal behavior toward other people?  Perhaps, though unlikely in my view. Would I have a more clearly defined sense of right and wrong?  Most definitely.

Living as Daddy's boy   Permission in Daddy/boy Relationships You see, if you have a Daddy, it helps sometimes to have little things that define, enhance, and build a sense of Daddy/boy separation, roles, and duties to one another.  A few things Daddys and boys can do when they're just starting out or even for those who have become lax in their relationship and feel the "je ne se quais" disappearing into vanilla relationship land, is to build back in the idea of Permission.   My Daddy and I do this without talking about it. I'm not telling you to discuss this.    You might want to just begin by introducing it.    For example, I've been knocking on the door, if Daddy's watching T.V. before I enter the room. Daddy will nearly always say, "You don't need to knock." But I'm doing it to    So, here's a few ideas that you can more overtly discuss with your Daddy or your boy, to help develop a Permission-based relationship:  Daytime Discussions You need to ask permission to go out for a beach stroll alone, walking the neighborhood on your own, getting in the car and driving alone and such.    Bedtime Discussions I always tell Daddy before I go to bed if I'm planning on doing something like that alone. He puts me to bed almost every night now, so it's time for me to tell Daddy what I'm up to the next day or give him a head's up. If I don't, Daddy will "call me" on it the next day.   Public Discussions    I've noticed my Daddy has taken to scolding, snapping if I speak out of turn, and otherwise "humiliating" me in front of our friends in an effort to get me to behave when it's not just Daddy/boy time. Spankings are less necessary than they were before, too. That's a good thing, because Daddy prefers to only Spank when there's a real reason. So in those cases there's often not a build-up. He will just wallop my heinie, and that hurts. Because of Domestic Discipline (Maintenance Spankings, warnings, scolding, writing lines, Cornertime and the like), he makes those Spankings last much longer and makes them an experience to discuss behaviour and also make it not just a Behinder Reminder, but something that I have to remember, so I don't do the naughty things again.     Living as Daddy's boy You see, if you have a Daddy, it helps sometimes to have little things that define, enhance, and build a sense of Daddy/boy separation, roles, and duties to one another. A few things Daddys and boys can do when they're just starting out or even for those who have become lax in their relationship and feel the "je ne se quais" disappearing into vanilla relationship land, is to build back in the idea of Permission. My Daddy and I do this without talking about it. I'm not telling you to discuss this.  You might want to just begin by introducing it.  For example, I've been knocking on the door, if Daddy's watching T.V. before I enter the room. Daddy will nearly always say, "You don't need to knock." But I'm doing it to  So, here's a few ideas that you can more overtly discuss with your Daddy or your boy, to help develop a Permission-based relationship:  Daytime Discussions You need to ask permission to go out for a beach stroll alone, walking the neighborhood on your own, getting in the car and driving alone and such.  Bedtime Discussions I always tell Daddy before I go to bed if I'm planning on doing something like that alone. He puts me to bed almost every night now, so it's time for me to tell Daddy what I'm up to the next day or give him a head's up. If I don't, Daddy will "call me" on it the next day. Public Discussions  I've noticed my Daddy has taken to scolding, snapping if I speak out of turn, and otherwise "humiliating" me in front of our friends in an effort to get me to behave when it's not just Daddy/boy time. Spankings are less necessary than they were before, too. That's a good thing, because Daddy prefers to only Spank when there's a real reason. So in those cases there's often not a build-up. He will just wallop my heinie, and that hurts. Because of Domestic Discipline (Maintenance Spankings, warnings, scolding, writing lines, Cornertime and the like), he makes those Spankings last much longer and makes them an experience to discuss behaviour and also make it not just a Behinder Reminder, but something that I have to remember, so I don't do the naughty things again.You see, if you have a Daddy, it helps sometimes to have little things that define, enhance, and build a sense of Daddy/boy separation, roles, and duties to one another. A few things Daddys and boys can do when they're just starting out or even for those who have become lax in their relationship and feel the "je ne se quais" disappearing into vanilla relationship land, is to build back in the idea of Permission. My Daddy and I do this without talking about it. I'm not telling you to discuss this.  You might want to just begin by introducing it.  For example, I've been knocking on the door, if Daddy's watching T.V. before I enter the room. Daddy will nearly always say, "You don't need to knock." But I'm doing it to  So, here's a few ideas that you can more overtly discuss with your Daddy or your boy, to help develop a Permission-based relationship:  Daytime Discussions You need to ask permission to go out for a beach stroll alone, walking the neighborhood on your own, getting in the car and driving alone and such.  Bedtime Discussions I always tell Daddy before I go to bed if I'm planning on doing something like that alone. He puts me to bed almost every night now, so it's time for me to tell Daddy what I'm up to the next day or give him a head's up. If I don't, Daddy will "call me" on it the next day. Public Discussions  I've noticed my Daddy has taken to scolding, snapping if I speak out of turn, and otherwise "humiliating" me in front of our friends in an effort to get me to behave when it's not just Daddy/boy time. Spankings are less necessary than they were before, too. That's a good thing, because Daddy prefers to only Spank when there's a real reason. So in those cases there's often not a build-up. He will just wallop my heinie, and that hurts. Because of Domestic Discipline (Maintenance Spankings, warnings, scolding, writing lines, Cornertime and the like), he makes those Spankings last much longer and makes them an experience to discuss behaviour and also make it not just a Behinder Reminder, but something that I have to remember, so I don't do the naughty things again. Living as Daddy's boy You see, if you have a Daddy, it helps sometimes to have little things that define, enhance, and build a sense of Daddy/boy separation, roles, and duties to one another. A few things Daddys and boys can do when they're just starting out or even for those who have become lax in their relationship and feel the "je ne se quais" disappearing into vanilla relationship land, is to build back in the idea of Permission. My Daddy and I do this without talking about it. I'm not telling you to discuss this.  You might want to just begin by introducing it.  For example, I've been knocking on the door, if Daddy's watching T.V. before I enter the room. Daddy will nearly always say, "You don't need to knock." But I'm doing it to  So, here's a few ideas that you can more overtly discuss with your Daddy or your boy, to help develop a Permission-based relationship:  Daytime Discussions You need to ask permission to go out for a beach stroll alone, walking the neighborhood on your own, getting in the car and driving alone and such.  Bedtime Discussions I always tell Daddy before I go to bed if I'm planning on doing something like that alone. He puts me to bed almost every night now, so it's time for me to tell Daddy what I'm up to the next day or give him a head's up. If I don't, Daddy will "call me" on it the next day. Public Discussions  I've noticed my Daddy has taken to scolding, snapping if I speak out of turn, and otherwise "humiliating" me in front of our friends in an effort to get me to behave when it's not just Daddy/boy time. Spankings are less necessary than they were before, too. That's a good thing, because Daddy prefers to only Spank when there's a real reason. So in those cases there's often not a build-up. He will just wallop my heinie, and that hurts. Because of Domestic Discipline (Maintenance Spankings, warnings, scolding, writing lines, Cornertime and the like), he makes those Spankings last much longer and makes them an experience to discuss behaviour and also make it not just a Behinder Reminder, but something that I have to remember, so I don't do the naughty thin Living as Daddy's boy You see, if you have a Daddy, it helps sometimes to have little things that define, enhance, and build a sense of Daddy/boy separation, roles, and duties to one another. A few things Daddys and boys can do when they're just starting out or even for those who have become lax in their relationship and feel the "je ne se quais" disappearing into vanilla relationship land, is to build back in the idea of Permission. My Daddy and I do this without talking about it. I'm not telling you to discuss this.  You might want to just begin by introducing it.  For example, I've been knocking on the door, if Daddy's watching T.V. before I enter the room. Daddy will nearly always say, "You don't need to knock." But I'm doing it to  So, here's a few ideas that you can more overtly discuss with your Daddy or your boy, to help develop a Permission-based relationship:  Daytime Discussions You need to ask permission to go out for a beach stroll alone, walking the neighborhood on your own, getting in the car and driving alone and such.  Bedtime Discussions I always tell Daddy before I go to bed if I'm planning on doing something like that alone. He puts me to bed almost every night now, so it's time for me to tell Daddy what I'm up to the next day or give him a head's up. If I don't, Daddy will "call me" on it the next day. Public Discussions  I've noticed my Daddy has taken to scolding, snapping if I speak out of turn, and otherwise "humiliating" me in front of our friends in an effort to get me to behave when it's not just Daddy/boy time. Spankings are less necessary than they were before, too. That's a good thing, because Daddy prefers to only Spank when there's a real reason. So in those cases there's often not a build-up. He will just wallop my heinie, and that hurts. Because of Domestic Discipline (Maintenance Spankings, warnings, scolding, writing lines, Cornertime and the like), he makes those Spankings last much longer and makes them an experience to discuss behaviour and also make it not just a Behinder Reminder, but something that I have to remember, so I don't do the naughty things again. Magazine   Mosaic   Side